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BGrifter
Mar 16, 2007

Winner of Something Awful PS5 thread's Posting Excellence Award June 2022

Congratulations!

MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAAT *cues the cheesy techno music*

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HereticMIND
Nov 4, 2012


Oh dear lord, that color layout is ATROCIOUS. I'm all for green and gold, but it's really easy to gently caress up and make it look like...well, that.

Play
Apr 25, 2006

Strong stroll for a mangy stray

BGrifter posted:

MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAAT *cues the cheesy techno music*

that helmet is ill though

Sono
Apr 9, 2008




Jiminy Christmas! Shoes! posted:

The Defenders and Guardians (couldn't come up with better names?? ) are good, the rest are too busy.

One of their announcers is probably going to have a breakdown live on the air from having to say "the Defenders' defense" one too many times.

Alaois
Feb 7, 2012

that renegades uni is like my worst nightmare version of a Panthers uni update

Play
Apr 25, 2006

Strong stroll for a mangy stray

Sono posted:

One of their announcers is probably going to have a breakdown live on the air from having to say "the Defenders' defense" one too many times.

Pretty sure that team will end up with the worst defense in the league. I mean how else could it play out

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

:lesnick: C-Bangin' it :lesnick:

Speaking of which, where does one find announcers for this spectacle?

Smiling Mandrill
Jan 19, 2015

With as few teams as there are in the league they really should've gone out of their way to give each team its own distinctive colors. Those uniforms are all trash, except for the DC defenders. I almost like the roughnecks jerseys too but the fact that they look like the love child of the Oilers old silver helmet uniform and the current Patriots uniform ruins them for me. Don't remind people of a better movie in your lovely B movie kinda applies.

TheHoosier
Dec 30, 2004

The fuck, Graham?!

The Battlehawks unis aren't too bad. I dig the color scheme, at least.

BiggerBoat
Sep 26, 2007

Don't you tell me my business again.

Smiling Mandrill posted:

With as few teams as there are in the league they really should've gone out of their way to give each team its own distinctive colors. Those uniforms are all trash, except for the DC defenders. I almost like the roughnecks jerseys too but the fact that they look like the love child of the Oilers old silver helmet uniform and the current Patriots uniform ruins them for me. Don't remind people of a better movie in your lovely B movie kinda applies.

They look like that poo poo but I'm down with that Dragon's helmet.

Odd to me that it looks like every team uses the same font for the numbers.

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

:lesnick: C-Bangin' it :lesnick:

Fonts aren't cheap.

coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS


If purchasing one wasn’t directly funding scumbag sex pests, I would rock one of these.

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


55 days till opening day

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

:lesnick: C-Bangin' it :lesnick:

Chris James 2 posted:

55 days till opening day

Let the countdown begin.

BGrifter
Mar 16, 2007

Winner of Something Awful PS5 thread's Posting Excellence Award June 2022

Congratulations!

Colostomy Bag posted:

Let the countdown begin.



Oops. That guy is busy setting the world on fire in AEW. Nevermind.

GD_American
Jul 21, 2004

LISTEN TO WHAT I HAVE TO SAY AS IT'S INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT!

coconono posted:

If purchasing one wasn’t directly funding scumbag sex pests, I would rock one of these.

It'll be on clearance sites soon enough

Doronin
Nov 22, 2002

Don't be scared
I really regret not applying for one of the XFL Comms Director jobs. The Tampa team really landed a good PR director, but I should have made a run at Houston.

I honestly think XFL is doing a lot of the right things if any NFL-alternative will ever succeed.

Smiling Mandrill
Jan 19, 2015

Josh Gordon welcome to the XFL!

flashy_mcflash
Feb 7, 2011

TheHoosier posted:

The Battlehawks unis aren't too bad. I dig the color scheme, at least.

Found this in the Gentlepalms guys feed a page back

:nws:
https://twitter.com/BHawksMafia/status/1211498912227504130?s=19

Somebody fucked around with this message at 00:33 on Jan 9, 2020

Kirios
Jan 26, 2010




Surely this isn't a thing anymore, right?

Bellmaker
Oct 18, 2008

Chapter DOOF



Kirios posted:

Surely this isn't a thing anymore, right?

It is

https://www.espn.com/espn/story/_/id/28438441/xfl-rule-changes-focus-faster-pace-more-excitement

Some of these ideas aren’t completely terrible?

StupidSexyMothman
Aug 9, 2010

I'm curious to see how the kickoff/punt rules play out. (How do you onside kick when the kicking team is five yards closer to the kickoff and sixty yards downfield from it?)
As far as punting I think there will be way more fair catches than anticipated, considering it's in the punter's best interest to maximize hangtime above all else.
I have no idea how they're going to officiate these nitpicky rules regarding movement (how does anybody know the three second timer on kickoffs hitting the ground? How does the punt team know when the ball's been kicked to let them start going downfield to cover it? Doesn't it instantly give away a fake punt if somebody crosses the line of scrimmage?)

Big fan of the one-foot-in-bounds catch rule though.

shyduck
Oct 3, 2003


Good luck playing defense in this league, although I’m sure skill level will counteract that

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008

Thank you. I'll do my best

Play
Apr 25, 2006

Strong stroll for a mangy stray

what in the world

anyways

quote:

A video official who can intervene on significant non-reviewable plays when involving player safety, or on any calls inside of five minutes remaining in the fourth quarter. There will also be booth-initiated reviews of traditionally reviewable plays using Hawk-Eye technology that ingests video directly from the broadcast truck.

Allowing offensive linemen to be up to 2 yards downfield when a pass is thrown, with the hope of minimizing flags on run-pass option plays.

I like these rules, and it's actually our old buddy dean blandino who came up with the rulebook apparently

Somebody fucked around with this message at 00:34 on Jan 9, 2020

SamuraiFoochs
Jan 16, 2007




Grimey Drawer
One foot in bounds owns, as does shootout overtime.

This feels... potentially more thought out than the first time?

Mega64
May 23, 2008

I took the octopath less travelered,

And it made one-eighth the difference.
Please don’t post my private fanart.

Docjowles
Apr 9, 2009

SamuraiFoochs posted:

One foot in bounds owns, as does shootout overtime.

This feels... potentially more thought out than the first time?

They’ve also cribbed some of the good stuff from the AAF, like no PAT kicks, and I think the shorter play clock.

pathetic little tramp
Dec 12, 2005

by Hillary Clinton's assassins
Fallen Rib
Well I just bought tickets to the Battlehawks home opener, here's hoping the league doesn't fold by then.

I feel more secure with my Iowa Barnstormers season tickets.

The Lord of Hats
Aug 22, 2010

Hello, yes! Is being very good day for posting, no?
I like what they’re doing with punts and kickoffs. Reducing high-impact collisions is a good step.

Simplex
Jun 29, 2003

Yeah, but returners are going to have an average career span of 1.5 games as they are going to be subject to high speed collisions in every single punt.

deedee megadoodoo
Sep 28, 2000
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one to Flavortown, and that has made all the difference.


Might go to a DC Defenders game since the cheap tickets are $24

spanky69
Nov 5, 2004
I THINK sba HAS LOST HIS MIND. WOOOOOO DOGGIES PUPPIES KITTENS CRAP TURDS, love sba
Fun Shoe

deedee megadoodoo posted:

Might go to a DC Defenders game since the cheap tickets are $24

That is about $4 more dollars a game then they are getting paid

Air Skwirl
May 13, 2007

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.
I saw one of those driving billboards and you could get season tickets to the Seattle Dragons for $100, so 20 bucks a game.

BGrifter
Mar 16, 2007

Winner of Something Awful PS5 thread's Posting Excellence Award June 2022

Congratulations!

Skwirl posted:

I saw one of those driving billboards and you could get season tickets to the Seattle Dragons for $100, so 20 bucks a game.

A $100 bet the league survives past the first game. Seems risky.

Nissin Cup Nudist
Sep 3, 2011

Sleep with one eye open

We're off to Gritty Gritty land




BGrifter posted:

A $100 bet the league survives past the first game. Seems risky.

There are worse ways to blow 100 bux

Elephanthead
Sep 11, 2008


Toilet Rascal

Nissin Cup Nudist posted:

There are worse ways to blow 100 bux

Tell me about it I bought the Memphis Express on ebay.

but ESPN is promoting the hell out of this they must be a partner.

coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

BGrifter posted:

A $100 bet the league survives past the first game. Seems risky.

I don’t think it’s that bad this time. Unless the first televised game manages to kill audience members.

The kickoff and two pass rules make it seem more like rugby.

BGrifter
Mar 16, 2007

Winner of Something Awful PS5 thread's Posting Excellence Award June 2022

Congratulations!
I hope it survives, an entire league of clownball sounds amazing. I would rather watch Browns/Jets than Patriots/Steelers any day of the week.

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skaboomizzy
Nov 12, 2003

There is nothing I want to be. There is nothing I want to do.
I don't even have an image of what I want to be. I have nothing. All that exists is zero.
I say again, legalize the A-11 offense, cowards

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