ToxicFrog posted:

the most unwanted song.

Phlegmish posted:

quote:

Agent pauses the game indefinitely to avoid losing

SerialKilldeer posted:

What happens when you force a bot to read Garfield:

repiv posted:

https://twitter.com/EmojiMashupBot/status/1152683511863750656

ai21 posted:

I was born. I grew up. I got married. And then I died.

Elentor posted:

Pretty sure that's literally the first 2 minutes of at least 10 TV shows from the past decade and the en passant background story in who knows how many others.

ai21 posted:

I was born. And there was no room in hell for me, I could not be damned, I was too small, too weak, too stupid and too sick for sin. And then I died.

Melville 2.0 posted:

Call me Ishmael... The story revolves around a woman named Rachel, the story's protagonist, and her search for her children. When she discovers all of those orphans her search to find them, and their whereabouts, becomes a life-ruining mystery. After this, Rachel, and her parents decide to take on a new persona as children. However, the only real child of the orphans that their new identity can really be accepted is her father, who died when she was two-years-old. The father of the children is called Ishmael. 

"That's not the way they are. They are a little bit smarter than that, a little bit more powerful. They are not born knowing who they are, they are born born knowing who their parents are. So they are able to read minds and so on. But that is just a game. They need to learn and they need to be able to read minds," Rachel said.

In an attempt to make their son better, Ishmael's daughter Rachel has grown jealous that Rachel has taken over the children's home, which was previously hers. The two of them become more involved, as they began to hunt down and steal each other's children. It was the devious-cruising Rachel, that in her retracing search after her missing children, only found another orphan.

Mario posted:

Let's-a go! [Smash Smash] Whoo. My f-ing hand shot through a window. Holy gently caress! Oh f-God! What a stupid-looking hand. Jesus. Why'd you just try to-a smash me in the eyes when all you needed to do to me was smash my head? Waaagh! I've got nothing to lose. It's just the fact that I can't see you. I'm not looking at you. You're all dead. You're all dead— Oh my gently caress-you God, what have I done? Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow! [Bowser laughs evilly]

Samovar posted:

It can't deal with jokes very well.

quote:

Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed, is all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up.' Man bursts into tears. Says, 'I think I have a tumor on my liver.' Doctor says, 'You have to have surgery.'


Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains.

quote:

Here on the Something Awful Dot Com(TM) forums, ******** and its associated trolls have decided to stop fighting each other and get some laughs. The idea here is to troll everyone on the forum and get as much poo poo off their backs as possible while keeping the trolls out of other people's websites as soon as possible. The best part is that everyone gets poo poo off their backs. It is also very easy to do this. Just go to the "I'm a Troll" page and you will see that everyone has a "You" page. The trolls have to be pretty angry to be able to go through and troll everyone.

frankenfreak posted:

Oh my god, 1:15.

Kennel posted:

Another EmojiMashupBot inspired account:

https://twitter.com/EmojiMashupFace/status/1165952831070900226

Hempuli posted:

https://twitter.com/anni_leskela/status/1150494432204132353

quote:

You look like a loving ken doll

quote:

You look like the kind of girl that says " I'm gonna blow you" then laughs about how you're gonna get a "blow job" from her.

Krankenstyle posted:

https://thiscatdoesnotexist.com/

Hempuli posted:

Eats, 1 Poodle, a Husband

game posted:

You are Hygiene, a ranger living in the kingdom of Larion. You have a hunting
bow and a quiver of arrows. You spot the deer and are ready to finish your hunt
when suddenly you hear a voice behind you
> Look at voice

You turn around and see a man with long hair and wearing a leather jerkin and
boots. He is holding a spear and has a large axe in his hands. The man looks
like he could be a hunter or even an adventurer
> Say "Whoa, don't sneak up on me like that, fool"

"What's your name?" he asks.
> John, uh, Smith

"John Smith".
> Ask name

"I'm not John Smith".
> Frown

"No, you're not".
> What is your name

"My name is John Smith".
> Aim bow at man

"Oh, sorry about that, I just got used to it".
> Shoot man

The arrow hits him in the chest and he falls backwards from the impact.
> Take axe

You grab the axe and start chopping off his head
> Uh....

You hear a scream and then a loud thud. You look behind you and see a large rock
falling down onto your back. You feel pain but manage to stand up quickly.
> Take rock

You take the large rock and throw it at the man who was trying to kill you. It
hits him in the face and he screams in agony.
> Yell "TELL ME WHO SENT YOU AND I SHALL LET YOU LIVE"

You run over to the fallen man and pull out his sword. You stab him several times
in the chest before he can get away. He dies instantly
> Shoot deer

You shoot a few more arrows into the trees and watch as they fly towards the
man. He turns around and sees you and raises his arms in surrender.
> Greet man

You approach the man and put your hand on his shoulder.
> Hug

He hugs you tightly and says "Thank you for saving my life".
> Recruit him into my private army

You tell him that if he helps you in any way, you will give him a place in your
private army.
> Ask if he will join my army

He agrees and you both leave the forest.

Brawnfire posted:

"Ahhh, freshly-cut Christ "

Krankenstyle posted:

also,
https://twitter.com/wilnyl/status/1042430625326739456

metasynthetic posted:

https://twitter.com/dril_gpt2/status/1214462620809519104

Hempuli posted:

I'm pretty sure that pretty much all bots like these are handed extremely cherry-picked results from a whole bunch of generated texts. Even a markov chain -type generator can occasionally get the punchline right by pure chance, but with GPT it'll be way, way more likely.

Hempuli posted:

https://twitter.com/ak92501/status/1209344885888823296

Dumb Lowtax posted:

The dick dripper

Hempuli posted: