[SPAM] FW: RE: The logs could do with a courtesy flush

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > [SPAM] FW: RE: The logs could do with a courtesy flush

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Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

Nerdrock posted:

Side note :

User asked to check the spam filter for something they were expecting. did a double-take when i saw they were getting messages from horseclicks.com

That is a great domain, not sure if I want to go to it or not though.

# ¿ Jan 4, 2018 21:36

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# ¿ May 12, 2024 11:11

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

Samizdata posted:

It is horses and horse related kit, like trailers. I HAD to click it.

Thank you for your service proud goon.

# ¿ Jan 4, 2018 22:09

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

Corky Romanovsky posted:

I love these things and how the internet is running with them

# ¿ Jan 17, 2018 16:59

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

Thanks Ants posted:

Freshdesk isn't awful

Freshdesk also likes not converting emails into tickets, so will want someone to keep an eye on the mailbox from time to time to make sure everything gets addressed.

# ¿ Jan 26, 2018 17:59

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

18 Character Limit posted:

Hire a dirigible. Or droneswarm each carrying one letter of a sign.

Or just hire a dildo drone.

Yes they are real and no don't search for that at work.

# ¿ Jan 26, 2018 20:48

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

"Just let me send over the scan report to your doctor."

*AOL welcome sound plays*

# ¿ Feb 6, 2018 20:46

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

Neddy Seagoon posted:

Never dare idiots unless you're prepared to see them try it.

"I dare you to make SharePoint easy to maintain."

# ¿ Feb 8, 2018 03:40

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

GnarlyCharlie4u posted:

I've often wondered how long it would take Secret Service to track down someone aiming microwave dishes directly at the oval office (including time to realize that it's not just an AC malfunction), and why nobody has attempted it before.

Welcome to "The List."

# ¿ Feb 8, 2018 20:09

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

Bob Morales posted:

"Why are emails being delayed? <whoever> sent me an email at 8:47 and it just came in at 9:07a."

Should I reply with:

"Rackspace is looking into it"

This, always this.

# ¿ Feb 12, 2018 18:36

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

Avenging_Mikon posted:

I found this email from a user humorous:

Reply asking them who gave them permission to use email.

# ¿ Mar 9, 2018 21:45

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

The Fool posted:

Admin is a bad safe word, it eliminates half of my role play.

Would token ring be better?

# ¿ Mar 11, 2018 04:38

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

Kyrosiris posted:

A power outage came in. If it lasts for 5 minutes more we all get to go home early.

Oh look, the clocks are speeding up for some reason.

# ¿ Mar 13, 2018 19:49

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

Merijn posted:

what the gently caress is that?!

I can only assume it is a Z̹̠͜ͅaĺ͙g̮̺̰̖͎̼o̦̩̝ edit of some org chart.

# ¿ Mar 16, 2018 12:47

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

sfwarlock posted:

Today at work: "Town hall meeting" (i.e. a video presentation with attached all-hands moderated chat) about a new primary net connection / proxy server / etc which is going to be the Wave of the Future and Make Everything Better For Everyone:

Todd Smith has raised a hand
Moderator has unmuted Todd Smith
(Todd Smith) With the new server, is the company doing any sort of man in the middle SSL monitoring?
Moderator has muted Todd Smith
(Presenter) We have not started HTTPS / SSL traffic inspection with this change.

(Hmm. I noticed the careful way he phrased that without actually answering the question...)

You have raised your hand
Moderator has unmuted you
(sfwarlock) Were we already doing https / ssl monitoring before the change?
Moderator has muted you
You have been permanently muted
You have been removed from presentation audience "Tomorrow's Network Today"

Do not question our authority. Also hello to the packet sniffers at sfwarlock's place of work.

# ¿ Mar 23, 2018 01:08

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

larchesdanrew posted:

The director called me into his office this afternoon and simply handed me a pile of papers. Each one was an email he has received from faculty, staff, and guests that compliment me in some way. There were something like 30 of them.

One of them said something along the lines of “if we expect the technology in this place to be held together with glue, we can’t complain every time our fingers get sticky.”

He then went on to tell me how much he appreciates my work and how much better this place is running under my supervision than the previous three tech coordinators. He said he’s been unfairly judging me based on their performance and he’s let his preconceived notions get the better of him. He said I’m doing an outstanding job and apologized for all the times he’s lost his temper. He revealed that his major focus this next year is to secure funding to reopen my assistant position.

Now I get a four day weekend for Easter.

It was a pretty good day I guess.

In all seriousness, congrats on finally having a supervisor that acts like an adult. Also hope things keep improving for you.

# ¿ Mar 30, 2018 03:20

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

Papa John Misty posted:

It's true

The piss tape is actually 14,000 PDFs

This is the worst flipbook I have ever seen.

# ¿ Apr 22, 2018 00:29

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

GnarlyCharlie4u posted:

lol holy gently caress. our Sr SysEng just accidentally deleted our NetApp's service account. Whoops.

LOL HOLY gently caress THEN HE DELETED ALL OF OUR SHARES. GODDAMNIT

Hope your not salary, because lots of overtime in your future.

# ¿ Apr 24, 2018 22:35

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

iospace posted:

https://twitter.com/dmofengineering/status/989889526582493184?s=19

Hope this works...

code:

Wish
9 conjuration
Casting Time: 1 action
Range: Self
Components: V
Duration: Instantaneous
Classes: Sorcerer, Wizard
Wish is the mightiest spell a mortal creature can cast. By simply speaking aloud, you can alter the very foundations of reality in accord with your desires.

The basic use of this spell is to duplicate any other spell of 8th level or lower. You don't need to meet any requirements in that spell, including costly components. 
The spell simply takes effect. Alternatively, you can create one of the following effects of your choice.

� You create one object of up to 25,000 gp in value that isn't a magic item. 
The object can be no more than 300 feet in any dimension, and it appears in an unoccupied space you can see on the ground.

� You allow up to twenty creatures that you can see to regain all hit points, and you end all effects on them described in the greater restoration spell.

� You grant up to ten creatures that you can see resistance to a damage type you choose.

� You grant up to ten creatures you can see immunity to a single spell or other magical effect for 8 hours. 
For instance, you could make yourself and all your companions immune to a lich's life drain attack.

� You undo a single recent event by forcing a reroll of any roll made within the last round (including your last turn). 
Reality reshapes itself to accommodate the new result. For example, a wish spell could undo an opponent's successful save, a foe's critical hit, or a friend's failed save. 
You can force the reroll to be made with advantage or disadvantage, and you can choose whether to use the reroll or the original roll.

You might be able to achieve something beyond the scope of the above examples. State your wish to the DM as precisely as possible. 
The DM has great latitude in ruling what occurs in such an instance, the greater the wish, the greater the likelihood that something goes wrong. 
This spell might simply fail, the effect you desire might only be partly achieved, or you might suffer some unforeseen consequence as a result of how you worded the wish. 
For example, wishing that a villain were dead might propel you forward in time to a period when that villain is no longer alive, effectively removing you from the game. 
Similarly, wishing for a legendary magic item or artifact might instantly transport you to the presence of the item's current owner.

The stress of casting this spell to produce any effect other than duplicating another spell weakens you. 
After enduring that stress, each time you cast a spell until you finish a long rest, you take 1d10 necrotic damage per level of that spell. 
This damage can't be reduced or prevented in any way. In addition, your Strength drops to 3, if it isn't 3 or lower already, for 2d4 days. 
For each of those days that you spend resting and doing nothing more than light activity, your remaining recovery time decreases by 2 days.
 Finally, there is a 33 percent chance that you are unable to cast wish ever again if you suffer this stress.

Zil fucked around with this message at 20:36 on Apr 30, 2018

# ¿ Apr 30, 2018 20:32

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

Kurieg posted:

Anyone have a best guess as to what happened here?

Spray painted spray foam that they stuck components in before it dried?

# ¿ May 7, 2018 22:38

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

GnarlyCharlie4u posted:

Tech showed up at my house to bury my cable. I said, "sure, go for it." They immediately left.
Another tech shows up 30mins later to bury my cable. I said, "sure, go for it." They immediately left.
First tech comes back 3 hours later and asks me where my cable is buried. "What the gently caress? you just said you were here to bury it 3 hours ago! It's not buried. It's laying in my yard right there." He leaves again.
Second tech comes back and says that he can't bury the cable because it's on the wrong side of the house. Whatever the gently caress that means.
A third tech shows up, and just starts trenching around my house. I come out and ask him who he is and what he is doing.
"I'm with Comcast I'm here..." I interrupt with "let me guess you're here to bury my cable?" He loving buries it!
A fourth tech shows up after the cable is buried and says, "I'm here to fix your internet." I told him I have no loving clue what he's talking about and send him on his way.
An hour after the third tech left the second tech comes back and says they're gonna have to drill a hole in my house and run the cable inside all the way across. I say, "what cable?" and he scratches his head looking for the cable that he could swear was just there a few hours ago.

I call Comcast about the 40bajillion loving visits I've had from their techs that day to find out what the gently caress is going on.
They tell me that they have no idea what I'm talking about, there's nothing scheduled, and that I need to schedule an appointment if I need to have my cable buried. Their next appointment availability is in 3 months.

I never saw that first tech again...

Very Holy Grail and the Swamp Castle vibe to this story.

quote:

When I first came here, this was all swamp. Everyone said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built in all the same, just to show them. It sank into the swamp. So I built a second one. And that one sank into the swamp. So I built a third. That burned down, fell over, and then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up.

# ¿ May 10, 2018 01:50

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

Aunt Beth posted:

It came in a bag and not in a box and there were never any cartoon characters or prizes

And it got soggy way way too fast.

# ¿ May 22, 2018 03:16

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

iospace posted:

https://twitter.com/dmofengineering/status/999732156631924736?s=19

# ¿ May 25, 2018 17:58

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

Jaded Burnout posted:

Of course they've just bcrypted each character with a salt, so they can tell, right?

What does your heart tell you?

# ¿ Jun 12, 2018 16:33

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

Bob Morales posted:

People that think it's funny to reply 'thanks' or 'ok' to a ticket so it re-opens...

I used to have a pre formatted reply for those kind of things that basically said if you want to thank me, fill out the survey and to only reopen if we did something wrong.

# ¿ Jun 22, 2018 22:43

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

Malek posted:

So USB bootable Windows ME then?

Fixed

# ¿ Jun 29, 2018 17:36

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

Shugojin posted:

I'm really surprised that the forums are up despite this

Don't taunt the forum gremlins like this.

# ¿ Jun 29, 2018 22:25

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

Nth Doctor posted:

My wife's family had a Windows ME machine back when she and I were in high school. Her Dad reinstalled the OS so often she took to calling the reformat-reinstall process "rebooting".

Sounds about right, was the only way I found out to fix a cd rom driver issue. It would just stop recognizing it as a valid piece of hardware and no amount of manually adding would solve it. But somehow doing a remiage the cd-rom would be ready to go on first boot up.

# ¿ Jun 30, 2018 21:37

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

MJP posted:

A voice mail came in from the Prince of All Saiyans...

Huh, always thought of Vegeta as more of a Linux guy.

# ¿ Jul 26, 2018 19:21

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

blackswordca posted:

PM: hey blackswordca we need you to write a powershell script to copy files from a single source to one of six network destinations dependent if the destination folder is empty or not then archive the file in a compressed folder.

Me: uhh I haven't done much with PowerShell, mostly use it to make AD additions or removals. Im not the best person for this.

PM: our normal guy is on vacation so your it. We need it end of day tomorrow. Each day it's not done it costs us $6000 a day in project overages. If you'll excuse me I have another meeting

Guess I'm self teaching myself some ps stuff tonight...

Time to outsource to fivr

# ¿ Jul 27, 2018 00:29

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

LethalGeek posted:

Somedays I feel the unholy IT trifecta of professors, doctors, and lawyers should be changed to professors, doctors, and paralegals.

Lawyers can be big babies sometimes but no one can be rude, cranky, and lovely like a paralegal IMO. They act like the place will fall apart without them and lol forever. Also they by far push back the hardest if you dare to tell them there are better ways to do something or a software change makes them have to do something different.

So your saying the worst place to support would be the legal department of a teaching hospital.

# ¿ Aug 3, 2018 23:08

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

mllaneza posted:

I'm assuming they are being proactive.

I think it is more of someone didn't get their cut and contacted your security team about it as payback.

# ¿ Aug 19, 2018 01:59

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

GWBBQ posted:

If the screens look like they're blacked out, that's polarized film.

Would a polarized screen or glasses then defeat that film?

# ¿ Aug 31, 2018 01:17

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

GWBBQ posted:

Nope, polarize 90 degrees to the panel and the light is gone.

drat there goes my fledgling corporate espionage business.

# ¿ Aug 31, 2018 01:26

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

Renegret posted:

A ticket came in for slow speeds for an individual customer. I get these tickets very rarely, and it usually only happens when the customer's incredibly pushy and the call center just wants to make him go away. The customers evidence of latency is "Request timed out" messages when running a traceroute to twitch and world of warcraft.

yup

Don't get me wrong, I think ISP's are horrible and malicious and my company is just as bad as the rest of them but holy poo poo you know this guy is going to spend the rest of his life poo poo talking his ISP when the truth is he's trying to stream on an underpowered PC and he's an idiot.

Don't both of those companies make it so the last few hops time out on purpose? So you can't see internal infrastructure?

Yep, even calls it out on their support page

quote:

Safeguards on our servers may cause false latency numbers, or failure with the error message 'Request Timed Out' or 'Destination Net Unreachable'. You can ignore error messages you receive after contacting our servers. To identify our servers, look for the following suffixes: attens.net, att.net, alter.net, telia.net.

# ¿ Sep 6, 2018 17:59

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

Renegret posted:

We have direct peering with them which makes the whole thing even better. The entire traceroute is a whopping 7 hops and only 1 of them times out.

Nah dude I'm pretty sure if our peering had any sort of issues down we'd know in seconds, but sure it's your ISP and not your poo poo rear end computer.

Which of course means that a WoW GM couldn't figure out what was wrong and directed the guy to you.

# ¿ Sep 6, 2018 18:41

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

ChickenOfTomorrow posted:

only if you get caught...

Exactly. If the fire also happened to destroy the security tapes.....

# ¿ Sep 19, 2018 19:59

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

Renegret posted:

I do a lot of ISP NOC to NOC communication and lemme tell you, hands down, the worst NOC is Time Warner. They once told me to instruct a customer to climb a telephone poll to get the MAC of an outdoor AP because they claimed they had no way of looking it up based on address.

I very kindly told them to go gently caress themselves.

The gently caress? As someone who had attempted to do that before in a previous job and failed out due to my fear of heights, how in the hell did they think it was reasonable to have a customer do that?

# ¿ Sep 29, 2018 21:29

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

Renegret posted:

We had a mini Y2K-esque scare about a year ago, it was really good.

Most of our tools and scripts were pet projects from employees who weren't professional programmers that became "official" because they were such a huge QOL improvement. Most of those also hard coded the leading 0s and assumed 6 digit ticket numbers because, at this rate we'll never hit 7 digits!

Then management rolled out ticket automation where every alert automatically generated a ticket, and the ticket was automatically closed out if it went away within 15 minutes. Suddenly we're generating 2-3 thousand tickets a day and, hey, at this rate we'll hit a 7 digits in just a few months...

Let me guess, you also don't have the source code anymore. That will be fun. :allears:

# ¿ Oct 8, 2018 15:24

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

Renegret posted:

nah, most of it was excel macros. Which is not something to be proud of.

The few things that weren't excel macros were so horribly out of date that they needed a complete replacement anyway, so it turned out to be a non issue. It just caused a new wave of tools written by non-programmers to pushed out, allowing the cycle to continue.

"Well we narrowly avoided that one only by sheer luck, lets do nothing different and hope it doesn't happen again!"

Management thinking is so amazing at times.

Edit: I also heard some good news the other day, the manager who had downsized me right before Christmas last year, has themselves been downsized as of last week. The outsourcing did not go as planned and ended up costing more money. Who could have guessed that!

# ¿ Oct 8, 2018 15:38

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# ¿ May 12, 2024 11:11

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

Can one revert something that has already been reverted?

:thunk:

# ¿ Oct 16, 2018 15:46

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > [SPAM] FW: RE: The logs could do with a courtesy flush

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