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Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast
Hello friends! Have you heard the good news? Piss tape is real! Better than that, I had too much time and money on my hands and designed a hat to spread the gospel of the Piss Tape.



The bad news is that the good folks over at Custom Ink had a minimum of 12 per order. That means I may have some extras.



Specifically, I have 9 extras. I refuse to make money off of this, despite literally paying for 12 hats so that I can have one. They're my hats, so I already assigned 5 of the hats to various C-SPAM posters based on my own arbitrary preferences. To those who are already getting a free hat, congratulations! To the rest of you, I guess I just don't like you or your posts as much as those folks. You should have done better. All hope is not lost, though! I have four extra hats and I want to give them out in as entertaining a way as possible. Credit to Joementum for suggesting a Sheep Game as a way of deciding how to hand out the remaining hats.
:siren:These hats are absolutely free, I will not accept any money for them and I will pay all of the costs to package and deliver them.:siren: The only cost for playing this game is your pride and some of the fleeting minutes you have remaining before we're all consumed in a Diet Coke-fueled nuclear holocaust. Well, that and the fact that if you win a hat you'll have to tell me where to ship it, ostensibly giving a weird guy from the internet your shipping address.

How do I play a Sheep Game?
I will ask a series of inane questions. Anyone interested in playing will email hats.for.sheep@gmail.com with their SA Username and their answers. Please do not PM me your answers. I promise I will count any entry sent to the email address. I reserve the right to arbitrarily reject or accept entries delivered via PM, depending on my mood and the quality of your entry.

I just have to answer your stupid questions? But then how do I win?
Entries are scored by how popular the total answers are among all other contestants. For instance, let's say one question is "Which fluid is in the tape?" If you answer "Piss" but all the other posters answer "Lemonade" then you get no points, despite the fact that you are right and they are wrong. However, if five other posters also say "Piss" then you get five points for that question. So do they. Your goal is to guess what answers will be the most popular. Whichever entry gets the most total points wins and gets a free hat. If there's a tie I'll figure out some sort of tiebreaker but let's ignore that for now.

I thought you said you had four extra hats
I do! Let's add a twist or two to this Sheep Game. In the spirit of the 45th President of the United States, let's celebrate failing upwards. Whoever has the lowest Sheep Game score will have Shot the Moon and also get a free hat. Important note: Because of this rule all answers must be actual, valid submissions for the questions to qualify for Shooting the Moon. If you just answer "Piss Tape" for all questions your entry will not count towards a Shoot the Moon attempt. Invalid answers do not disqualify you from any other potential hat wins, they only disqualify you from Shooting the Moon.

E:

Squizzle posted:

im not sure how you can disqualify invalid answers when the game is about one

Pancakes posted:

Fair enough, I'll do my best to allow most "invalid" answers as long as it's not a clear attempt at tanking to shoot the moon.

That leaves two more free hats
Threads are more fun if people are posting in them. I don't want to see my free hat thread empty, devoid of content or posts. Lobby for your favorite possible answers in the thread. This helps you in two ways:
1. You might persuade other posters to post your preferred answer, increasing your score.
2. Once the Sheep Game is over I will pick my favorite lobbying post from the thread. That poster will get a free hat. My decision is arbitrary and final. Make funny posts, make lovely posts, make effort posts, just post a gif for your suggested answer. I have no idea how I'll decide which is best.

That still leaves one more extra hat. Once all the entries are received I'll assign each one a number and run a random number generator. The owner of the winning entry gets a hat. The universe is a cruel and random place, but some lucky goon will be given a free hat just by being assigned a random number.

The Questions
1. Who is the best pre-Trump US President?
2. What is the best non-US country in the world currently recognized by the UN as of 1/12/2018? Note: This question carefully-worded in case Trump reduces a country to ash between now and when the game ends.
3. Who is the best justice currently sitting on the Supreme Court of the United States as of 1/12/2018? Note: This question carefully-worded because SCOTUS has some old, old people sitting.
4. What is the best majority opinion issued by the Supreme Court of the United States?
5. What is the saltiest dissenting opinion issued by a justice of the Supreme Court of the United States?
6. Who has been the best Pope in the history of the Catholic Church?
7. What is the best of the 50 United States of America?
8. What comic book character is most similar to Trump?
9. Which of Trump's children is the best?
10. What is the greatest Trump Tweet prior to 1/12/2018?
11. Which character from King of the Hill is most like Trump?
12. Which MLB player, living or dead, would Trump hate the most?
13. What is the worst of all Star Wars movies that received a wide release in theaters?
14. Which current world leader is most likely to invite Trump to their birthday party?
15. What breed of dog is Trump most likely to adopt as a White House pet to try to make him more "caring"?

Miscellaneous Extras
1. :siren:The game will remain open until 1/22/2018.:siren:
2. People who have already gotten a free hat are welcome to enter the Sheep Game. If I like you or your posts enough to just give you a free hat then you're more than welcome to try for a second.
3. Winners of the Sheep Game are not limited to one hat. If you win the Sheep Game you can also win an additional hat via making my favorite post in the thread or via the random number generator.

Pancakes has issued a correction as of 18:51 on Jan 12, 2018

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Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast
Interesting tidbit: There are 4 entries so far and every single entry has a different justice listed for #3. I specifically put that one in there to make sure some questions were going to have crossover, since a lot of them (SCOTUS opinions and dissents, for instance) are kind of out there.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast

Squizzle posted:

im not sure how you can disqualify invalid answers when the game is about one

Fair enough, I'll do my best to allow most "invalid" answers as long as it's not a clear attempt at tanking to shoot the moon.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast

Yossarian-22 posted:

disagree, but then again I just effortposted to poo poo the moon with all valid answers. what happens when multiple people all have zero points? now i'm bound to lose b/c all of my answers are within the realm of possibility

I'll figure out a tiebreaker if it comes to that. Maybe whoever has the most impressive shoot the moon entry. Also, I can confirm that you are not going to have zero points. We have our first match on SCOTUS justices you sick bastards.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast
CustomInk has emailed me saying I can get a discount on future orders if I get a group shot with my merchandise. I feel like this could be a poor decision on their part.


AHM THE PREZ'DINT OF FIDDY STATES

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast
I PM'd everyone I could who'd expressed an interest in the hats but hadn't entered the contest yet (that I could remember anyway); I want to be sure people who like the idea of a free terrible hat get a chance. We're at 12 entries so far with a week to go.

E: Scoring a Sheep Game halfway through is kind of pointless but for those curious, the current lead is 22 points, narrowly ahead of two entries at 21 points apiece. One entry still has an impressive 0 points, while two other attempts at shooting the moon are at 2 points apiece. The almost-shooting-the-moon entries got tripped up by other posters, not one another. One got points from a SCOTUS justice, the other got points from a Star Wars movie.

Pancakes has issued a correction as of 19:33 on Jan 15, 2018

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast

BrownieMinusEye posted:

Is everyone's points total gonna be posted at the end?

Yep. I almost posted to-date point totals yesterday but realized that much information midway through a sheep game could make it unfair.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast

redneck nazgul posted:

i have submitted my really really really really really dumb answers

if someone comes up with the same answers i have for some of them, i will be shocked

This was a really strong Shoot the Moon entry that also knocked the previously-perfect shoot-the-moon entry out of zero points, just FYI.

PostNouveau posted:

I'mma use this post to lobby for you to send one to Ashley Feinberg.

If I win, you're sending my hat to her.

You're lobbying in the thread more than most people are, so you've got that going for you. Six new entries since I updated last. Some statistical tidbits after 18 entries:
For question 3: Of the 9 living SCOTUS justices only 5 have been picked. You Shoot the Moon folks think too much alike.
For question 9: Every single one of Trump's children has been picked.
For question 13: Of the 9 Star Wars movies that have had wide releases in theaters, 8 of them have been picked.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast

Pancakes posted:

2. People who have already gotten a free hat are welcome to enter the Sheep Game. If I like you or your posts enough to just give you a free hat then you're more than welcome to try for a second.


juche avocado posted:

i'm scared to even post in this thread much less compete

Can I submit answers for funsies and only funsies? I wouldn't win anyway, because I'm bad. Unless I've been That DICK!'d as well, w/o my knowledge. Then this would be for extremely serious bloodsport.

Your Pancakes-Love free hat is safe, go nuts posting or submitting an entry however you like.

E: The five posters who are getting free no-contest hats already know who they are, got PM’s regarding their hats and I’ve set their hats aside already. If you didn’t get a PM from me specifically saying you were getting a free hat then this thread is your shot. If you got a PM saying you were getting a free hat then it’ll be on its way once the thread is done, no takebacks.

Pancakes has issued a correction as of 20:34 on Jan 17, 2018

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast

HootTheOwl posted:

I legit put this down and was worried my answer was going to be considered invalid.

I'm not going to lie, your entry really toes the line on shooting the moon in good faith. You weren't the only one to pick Trump from Doonesbury and that's fair game in my opinion (Bill the Cat post-brain transplant from Bloom County would also work). Your King of the Hill entry seemed iffier to me. Enough of your entries were funny enough that I think they should probably count for shooting the moon, though. If it's close I may put it to a blind vote in the thread.

E: Or maybe count them as lobbying and give the "shoot the moon" award to another poster. We'll see how it all shakes out, we've got a few days to go.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast
We're at 25 total entries so far and still have one SCOTUS Justice who hasn't been picked by anyone, either in a Shoot the Moon entry or otherwise. We also have had a famous concurrence submitted as both an opinion and a dissent by different contestants. It's still too early to know for certain who'll win, but there are 4-5 questions that are very clearly going to decide who's in the top bracket of points.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast
We're at 28 entries with a little more than a day to go. I'm trying to get the scoring easier to track so that I'm not tallying everything all at once after we're done. I've never run a Sheep Game before, so it's a learning process. I did a quick tally, though I stopped in the middle to sing along to the "Gaston Song" when it came on TV, so my scoring may be off a little.

Some fun facts and stats:
Every single question had at least one answer that produced points.
We still don't have every SCOTUS Justice listed.
The questions that have produced the fewest points are Questions 8 & 15, comic book characters and dogs. Each has only produced 5 points total across all entries.
The best possible score right now would be 94, if one single entry had picked the most popular answer for each question.
Current highest scores: 75, 69, 68, 65.
Current lowest scores: 3, 4, 4, 4.

Sundae posted:


Also, if nobody else picked the same Trump child I picked, I will be SORELY DISAPPOINTED IN ALL OF YOU, CSPAM.

Arguably someone else has you covered, though not phrased exactly the same way. Neither of you had as funny a response for that question as Hoot the Owl did, though.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast

Billzasilver posted:

wait, don’t you get 15 points if you shoot the moon and get 1 point for every question?

I'm scoring it as every answer that's the same as yours is a point. It shouldn't have an impact on the overall standings, just add 15 to everyone's score if you don't like how I'm totaling everything.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast

Reality Loser posted:

Entries open until the end of the day?

Yeah, I realize the OP wasn’t clear. Plus I’m stuck in court with about 600 cases to go today. Once it’s midnight CST I’ll stop accepting entries.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast
33 entries and Serfer has, if nothing else, the ballsiest entry.

Note to the thread: Just submitting "Ed Balls" as your answer for every question disqualifies you from Shooting the Moon. It does not, however result in 0 points. Other legitimate entries have named Ed Balls for various responses.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast

Mao Zedong Thot posted:

jesus can i change my answer for best trump tweet?

I mean, it makes literally zero difference in the scoring. There's been very little crossover in the Tweet answers. I'm currently adding in the last 5 entries to date by hand and re-scoring everything. I'm going to double-check my math before finalizing everything but I just want to say that people with legitimately strong entries at the last minute make manually rescoring everything a pain. I'm looking at you, Saladin Rising, Shear Modulus and Reality Loser. I don't think you're going to overtake the current leader but you've got enough overlap with the current leaders that you're making it come down to the wire. :argh:

As a note, it only took 29 entries before we finally had our last SCOTUS Justice covered. Thank you, Selious! You would have had a legitimate shot at Shooting the Moon if you hadn't picked the most popular Trump child. :sigh:

E: Current leaders are now at 93, 81 & 80. Current Shoot the Moon leaders are at 3, 4, 5 & 5. The winner's pretty much determined now, it'd take too many ballots with very specific answers to help numbers 2 or 3 catch the leader. One or two entries within the next two hours could absolutely determine the Shoot the Moon winner, though.

Pancakes has issued a correction as of 04:50 on Jan 23, 2018

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast
I was typing up the results and then I got 2 entries in the last 5 minutes, including one submitted at 11:59 PM. Cutting it close, folks. That being said, :siren:we've got some results:siren:!

There were 35 entries. The winner, with a grand total of 103 points, is The Agronox. Coming up just shy with a literal last-minute 11:59 PM entry was The Iron Llama with 97 points. After that were PostNouveau with 87 and Grizzled Patriarch with 86.

The Agronox's answers were, in order:
1. FDR
2. Norway
3. RBG
4. Brown v. Board
5. Scalia in Lawrence v. Texas
6. John XXIII
7. California
8. Trump is a comic book character
9. Tiffany
10. "I'll still drink that garbage"
11. Dale Gribble
12. Jackie Robinson
13. The Phantom Menace
14. Duterte
15. A German shepherd

The most popular entries for each question were:
1. FDR
2. Canada
3. RBG
4. Brown v. Board
5. Scalia in Obergefell
6. Pope Francis
7. California
8. Trump
9. Tiffany
10. 2-way tie between "I'll still drink that garbage" and the infamous "Haters and losers" Tweet
11. Cotton Hill
12. Jackie Robinson
13. The Phantom Menace
14. Duterte
15. It would never happen

The lowest qualifying entry belongs to Crazycryodude with 3 points. Just missing was redneck nazgul with 4. They gave one another a point apiece as the only contestants to choose Justice Stephen Breyer. Crazycryodude received 2 points by choosing Eric Trump, while redneck nazgul got 3 points from choosing Ivanka.

My favorite entries for each question, usually by virtue of being unique or offensive:
1. Jefferson Davis, from Meatbag Esq.
2. The Holy See from Panic! at Nabisco
3. Scalia's Zombie Corpse from El Mero Mero
4. A tie between mao zedong thot and Mayor Dave for Plessy v. Ferguson and Meatbag Esq, tubamortis and True Blue Triumph for Dred Scott v. Sanford, you awful, awful people.
5. Reality Loser for picking RBG's dissent in Shelby County, mostly because they made sure to point out that RBG was right (and because it was just "VRA dissent" in the email and I knew that meant Shelby County by memory).
6.Formosus, because I'd never heard of the Cadaver Synod until this thread. Several people had this entry. Runner up was Hoot the Owl with Jude Law.
7. Rhode Island from tubamortis because they referred to it as "Rhode Island and Providence Plantations" and I went to school in Providence.
8. Todd from Achewood, from Mayor Dave
9. r/The Donald from Hoot the Owl. Sundae submitted "the aborted one we never heard about" and Meatbag Esq. submitted "the ones swallowed by Melania", which I treated as close enough to equal. Still, r/The Donald was an inspired interpretation of "Trump's children".
10. The one about Barney Frank's nipples from Comrayn and Shear Modulus, mostly because I abbreviated it in my spreadsheet as "Barney's nips"
11. Jimmy Wichard by Saladin Rising, because that's an obscure and inspired choice
12. Moses Walker from El Mero Mero and The Iron Llama, because absent anyone picking Curt Flood this was a pretty good choice.
13. No one had any particularly impressive entries here. I briefly thought about spitefully counting "Clone Wars" as "Attack of the Clones" but it wouldn't have made a major difference in the results.
14. Hoot the Owl's entry of "Trump". Several people said it would be Trump inviting himself, but Hoot the Owl specifically said it would be because of dementia.
15. The actual dog who played Lassie, from C. Everett Koop. Other good entries included "Sloppy Steve, who's like a dog" and "Mooch in a Sonic the Hedgehog Fursuit".

Some fun facts:
The last Justice to be named was Kennedy.
Potter Stewart's concurrence in Jacobellis v. Ohio was submitted as both an opinion and a dissent.
Crazycryodude was actually the first submission in the game and always had the lowest score during the course of the game.

The random number generator winner is: BrownieMinusEye, with a random.org result of 2 (of 35), as the 2nd person who submitted an entry. For a second I thought Crazycryodude had won a second hat until i remembered that the first row was had headings, so I had to look down one.

My arbitrary choice for the last hat is: Hoot the Owl, because that was my favorite overall entry and they had some fun in the thread.

Again, congratulations to all the winners and thanks everyone for playing! Winners, please either PM or email me where you want me to ship your hats. I've got work and two doctor's appointments tomorrow, but if anyone wants further information about the results or the final standings please let me know and I'll try to post more. I'll plan on shipping out the hats to everyone shortly, probably on Saturday.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast

Reality Loser posted:

Can you do a question by question tally of answers? Other sheep games usually do this and it's fun seeing the breakdowns, plus the joke responses.

Thanks again for running this pancakes.

I’ll plan on doing this or something like it, sure. One caveat: I think even I forgot that Roberts exists. We may have only named 8 SCOTUS Justices. I’ll have to wait until I get home tonight to check.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast

redneck nazgul posted:

are you not going to post the big list of what everybody answered because that's 90% of the appeal of these games

I am, I just have a doctor’s appointment I’m going to right now.

Pancakes posted:

I’ll plan on doing this or something like it, sure. One caveat: I think even I forgot that Roberts exists. We may have only named 8 SCOTUS Justices. I’ll have to wait until I get home tonight to check.

:colbert:

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast
Alright, let's have some final standings and hypotheticals:

103 - The Agronox
97 - The Iron Llama
87 - PostNouveau
86 - Grizzled Patriarch
83 - BrianBoitano
81 - World War Mammories
78 - Brigadier Sockface
73 - Misogynice Job!
72 - Shear Modulus
71 - Chokes McGee
71 - tubamortis
70 - Saladin Rising
70 - Pikavangelist
64 - C. Everett Koop
60 - Maxwells Demon
58 - Mayor Dave
57 - Sundae
50 - Billzasilver
49 - Reality Loser
47 - best giraffe
46 - blankets
44 - Comrayn
40 - El Mero Mero
37 - mao zedong thot
36 - Ol Standard Retard
29 - True Blue Triumph*
15 - Selious
9 - BrownieMinusEye
8 - Meatbag Esq.
8 - Hoot the Owl
7 - Yossarian-22
5 - Panic! at Nabisco
4 - redneck nazgul
3 - Crazycryodude
1 - Serfer*

* Did not qualify for Shooting the Moon.

The Iron Llama posted:

Holy moly. I had completely forgotten about this game until I got home from work last night, and dashed off an entry in about five minutes. I might have even taken first if I'd gotten my supreme court case right, or remembered Tiffany existed.

I don't know whether to be proud or ashamed.

Interesting question. What would it have taken for someone other than The Agronox to win? I'll assume no changes to Agronox's ballot.
If The Iron Llama had picked Jackie Robinson they would have won. Picking Tiffany rather than Barron wouldn't have done it, they'd have still lost, just by 3 points rather than 6.
If PostNouveau had picked Phantom Menace and Duterte they'd have won by 1 point.
If Grizzled Patriarch had picked California and Brown v. Board they'd have won by 1 point.
BrianBoitano would have come in 3rd place if they'd only picked Scalia's dissent in Obergefell. That plus FDR would have won.

Who can Crazycryodude thank for their Shooting the Moon? Yossarian-22 and Maxwells Demon pushed redneck nazgul up over the edge with their answers of Ivanka Trump.

The most uniform answer at the top of the standings was RBG. You have to go down 9 entries before you find someone who didn't have her, then another 6 for the next one. Both of those non-RBG entries are for Sotomayor.
I was really shocked that The Agronox won without Scalia's dissent in Obergefell. That seemed like a really strong early contender for the most disproportionately-scoring answer.
Blue states dominate the top of the standings, with the first answer that isn't a blue state coming 19 slots down with an alternate reality, still before any red state.

For those curious, a dozen custom PISS TAPE IS REAL hats will run you about $300 at Custom Ink, including tax and shipping. Like I said, I had too much time and money on my hands.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast
And in a separate post, answer popularity for select questions. Other questions to follow, I mostly just don't want to hunt down the Tweet links tonight and want to have some content to go along with the Tweets later on. I'll probably get at least most of the remaining stats done tomorrow.

1. Who is the best pre-Trump US President?
7 posters said FDR
5 posters said Trump
3 posters said William Henry Harrison
3 posters said LBJ
2 posters said Taft
2 posters said Millard Filmore
2 posters said Lincoln
Benjamin Harrison, George Bush, John Tyler, William McKinley, Bill Clinton, James Monroe, Teddy Roosevelt, Barack Obama, Jefferson Davis, George Washington, the President from "24" and Ed Balls all received one vote.

2. What is the best non-US country in the world currently recognized by the UN as of 1/12/2018?
6 posters said Canada
4 posters said Norway
2 posters said Russia
2 posters said Japan
2 posters said the USA
2 posters said Germany
2 posters said Israel
2 posters said Sweden
St. Vincent, Oman, France, South Korea, Seychelles, Kenya, The Holy See, Nauru, Kazakhstan, Australia, North Korea, Chad and Ed Balls all received one vote.

3. Who is the best justice currently sitting on the Supreme Court of the United States as of 1/12/2018?
15 people said RBG
5 people said Gorsuch
3 people said Breyer
3 people said Thomas
3 people said Sotomayor
2 people said Kagan
Alito, Kennedy, Zombie Scalia and Ed Balls all received one vote.
Everyone, myself included, forgot about Roberts.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast
Answer popularity, part two:

4. What is the best majority opinion issued by the Supreme Court of the United States?
10 people said Brown v. Board
3 people said Dred Scott
2 people said Roe v. Wade
2 people said Loving v. Virginia
2 people said Plessy v. Ferguson
2 people said Marbury v. Madison
We had one vote apiece for Neal v. Delaware, Artuz v. Bennett, Lawrence v. Texas, Corn Products v. Commissioner, Nix v. Hedden (You misspelled this one, goon, and said "Haden". That's some tomato, er, egg on your face), I am the Beast, Inc. v. Michigan State Police, Rubin v. Coors, Hollister v. Benedict, One 1958 Plymouth Sedan v. Pennsylvania, Skinner v. Railway Lab, Obergefell v. Hodges and Ed Balls.
We also had one person submit the "I know it when I see it" case, which is actually a concurrence by Potter Stewart.
One person voted for Citizens United, but foolishly only voted one time. If you'd been clever enough to say that you were voting 30 different times for Citizens United via 30 different shell companies I probably would have awarded you the points, Comrayn.

5. What is the saltiest dissenting opinion issued by a justice of the Supreme Court of the United States?
14 people said Scalia in Obergefell
5 people said Scalia in Lawrence v. Texas
2 people said Scalia in PGA Tour
1 person said Scalia in Windsor
There was a theme with this question. Other dissents listed, all receiving one vote, were Strong in Neal v. Delaware, Thomas in Tharpe v. Sellers, Thomas in Brown v. Entertainment Merchants, RBG in Shelby County, Holmes in Myers, Harlan in Plessy v. Ferguson, Clark in Reid v. Covert and Butler in Samuels v. McCurdy.
We also had one vote apiece for International Salt Co v. US, Roe v. Wade and US v. Approximately 64,694 Pounds of Shark Fins, none of which are dissents.
Another person submitted Potter Stewart's "know it when I see it" for this answer which is, as stated, a concurrence.
Ed Balls also received one vote.

6. Who has been the best Pope in the history of the Catholic Church?
7 people voted for Francis
4 people voted for Formosus
4 people voted for Peter
2 people voted for Alexander VI
2 people voted for John Paul II
2 people voted for John XXIII
Anastasius IV, Fabian, Stephen VI, Agapetus II, Trump, Paul II, Sixtus, Lucius III, Urban II, Pius XXII, Jude Law, Ed Balls and Hitler all received one vote. There was also a vote for "All Popes Suck" which honestly, thanks to the Boston Globe, we already knew.
Sadly, no one voted for Celestine V, who was a crazy hermit who quit the papacy to go live in a cave. His successor feared having two living Popes was a threat to his power so he called for his arrest, which caused to Celestine to flee deeper into the mountains until he was eventually captured, imprisoned and died in a castle. Poor Hermit Pope just wanted to go back to his cave. :smith:

7. What is the best of the 50 United States of America?
12 people voted for California
3 people voted for Rhode Island
2 people voted for Oregon
2 people voted for Washington
2 people voted for New Jersey
2 people voted for New York
2 people voted for Hawaii
Delaware, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, Texas, Massachusetts and Connecticut all received one vote. So did Puerto Rico, Canada, USA of America, Earth 3 and Ed Balls.
I always thought SA skewed Midwestern in its demographics but this question really went against that impression.

8. What comic book character is most similar to Trump?
6 people said Trump
2 people said MODOK
2 people said Red Skull
2 people said Dr. Doom
Dr. Soonpoon, Otto Octavius, Superboy Prime, Luanna, Batman, Grandpa Simpson, Kingpin, Booster Gold, Penguin, Garfield, Superman, KGBeast, Jughead, Ronald Reagan, Todd from Achewood, Edward Bear, Bouncing Boy (Or lad, whichever. Despite owning a copy of Adventure Comics 247 I don't know all my Legionnaires that well), Paste Pot Pete, Richie Rich, Ed Balls and the Smiler all got one vote.
Lex Luthor got only one vote despite literally being elected president after being an evil, bald billionaire in the comic books! How was Sundae the only one to vote for Luthor?
No one voted for Bill the Cat. Ack. Thppt.


9. Which of Trump's children is the best?
12 people voted for Tiffany. Well, actually 11 people voted for Tiffany and one voted for "The one who doesn't do anything", which I counted as Tiffany.
9 people voted for Barron.
3 people voted for Don Jr.
3 people voted for Ivanka
2 people voted for Eric
2 people submitted votes that I counted as equal: The ones swallowed by Melania and the aborted one we never hear about
Receiving one vote apiece were an illegitimate child in Eastern Europe, Ed Balls, r/TheDonald and Trump himself, acting as his own father like a story from Greek mythology.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast
Answer popularity, part three (now with out-of-order answers because I still don't want to look up the Twitter links):

11. Which character from King of the Hill is most like Trump?
5 people said Cotton Hill
4 people said Boomhauer
4 people said Buck Strickland
4 people said Dale Gribble
2 people said Luanne
2 people said Bill
Eustace Miller, Hank Hill, Frisbee Guy, Khan, Bobby, Lenore, Cindy Wassonasong, Jimmy Carter, John Redcorn, Joseph Gribble and Jimmy Wichard all received one vote. Butthead was the very borderline answer, since although King of the Hill is considered a spinoff of Beavis & Butthead I still think it'd have been a cheat overall if it were close on Shooting the Moon. Thankfully, however, Hoot the Owl wasn't close enough to Shooting the Moon for it to matter.

12. Which MLB player, living or dead, would Trump hate the most?
11 people said Jackie Robinson.
2 people said Moses Walker
2 people said Barry Bonds
Reddy Mack, Earnest Riles, Michael Jordan, Hal Newhouser, Oscar Gamble, Joe Baseballman, Manny Ramirez, Bud Black, Bruce Maxwell, Herb Adams, Carl Duser, Hank Aaron, James Earl Jones from The Sandlot, Rusty Staub, Cal Ripken Junior and Roberto Clemente all received one vote. There were also votes for Ed Balls and Anyone Not White, along with one blank ballot.

13. What is the worst of all Star Wars movies that received a wide release in theaters?
13 people voted for Phantom Menace
5 people voted for Attack of the Clones
2 people voted for A New Hope
2 people voted for Revenge of the Sith
2 people voted for The Force Awakens
2 people voted for The Clone Wars (which I almost counted as Attack of the Clones out of spite, but when multiple people voted for it, it didn't determine Shooting the Moon anyway)
1 person voted for Rogue One
1 person voted for The Last Jedi
1 person voted for Return of the Jedi
1 person voted for Empire Strikes Back
There were also one vote apiece for All of Them, one for They're All Bad, one for Ed Balls and one for Trump.

14. Which current world leader is most likely to invite Trump to their birthday party?
11 people voted for Duterte
5 people voted for Putin
3 people voted for Trump inviting himself, including one person specifically saying it was due to dementia
2 people voted for Netanyahu
2 people voted for Ed Balls
There were a lot of single-vote recipients and honestly, I'm a little embarrassed that I don't know how to spell them all. Kim Jong Un was the funniest of the single-vote recipients.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast
UPS says Hoot the Owl's hat (and one of my non-contest hats) were delivered today. Hope they actually arrived.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast

Best Giraffe posted:

how FUCK8NG MUCH M8

Custom Ink estimates $25.69 apiece, plus $0.35 apiece convenience charge for allowing separate payments. Beyond that it'd just be shipping; they ship all the hats to one place and then we'd have to mail them out to the various people who bought. The per-unit amount might go down if there were more orders, I went with the lowest order amount of 12. If people want me to set up the page just let me know. You can also design your own if you like but I've got the original design available if everyone's okay with that.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast
Okay, I think this is the correct link:

https://www.customink.com/g/xhg0-00b9-mnd1

If it doesn't work please let me know.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast

Reality Loser posted:

i would love to seen goons in piss tape hats and nothing but piss tape hats

The world's worst pin-up calendar.

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Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast

El Mero Mero posted:

So, we need 5 more folks to order piss tape hats for the order to process, do I have that right?

Believe so. I’m going to email/PM people this weekend to raise the profile. I’ve been swamped at work; a coworker went to Vietnam (his name, appropriately, is Charlie) so I’ve been handling his court work and mine. As a result I haven’t been as active in pushing g the hats as I could have been.

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