Royal Rumble Roulette Teams: Two Chances to Lose

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > Royal Rumble Roulette Teams: Two Chances to Lose

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Jerusalem: May 20, 2004; Would you be my new best friends?

Rarity posted:

2015 - DANIEL BRYAN

Lads, I'm not feeling so confident now

But Daniel Bryan won the Rumble that year, remember?

Oh yeah... :negative:

Wazzu posted:

Team #7 is Team Beak

A pure heart, but loving useless powers who has only been useful a handful of times. I think #7 will similarly be some random dork midcarder.

Beak owned, and in the future his kids were swole as gently caress, so.... v :shobon:

# ? Jan 27, 2018 10:05

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# ? Apr 29, 2024 12:05

Cavauro: Jan 9, 2008

Evil Badman posted:

Low-rent Jubilee. No one picked her on the six player cabinet on purpose.

What does this mean?

# ? Jan 27, 2018 10:14

Veryslightlymad: Jun 3, 2007; I fight with
my brain
and with an
underlying
hatred of the
Erebonian
Noble Faction

Cavauro posted:

What does this mean?

It means he didn't know how to play the fuckin' game because Dazzler was fantastic and her Mutant Power could hit Magneto through his shield, holy christ Dazzler's bomb was so good in that game.

# ? Jan 27, 2018 11:07

Cavauro: Jan 9, 2008

My bomb smells like poo poo!

# ? Jan 27, 2018 11:18

Antitonic: Sep 24, 2011; Invented By Gandhi

I also seem to be in both Team 15 and Team 29.

# ? Jan 27, 2018 11:46

Wazzu: Feb 28, 2008; Are you sure I'm winning the Rumble? That does'nt seem right.....

Jerusalem posted:

But Daniel Bryan won the Rumble that year, remember?

Oh yeah...

Beak owned, and in the future his kids were swole as gently caress, so.... vv

Look, he did own. But he was a loveable loser (at least most of what I read. reading wiki articles on X-men characters is a baffling experience. Jubilee is a vampire now?) in a very memorable way.

That run was great for showcasing the school teaching people who wouldn't fit in regular society, with powers that need management, that aren't good for fighting crime.

# ? Jan 27, 2018 12:15

MotU: Mar 6, 2007; It was like she was evicting walking garbage.; Pillbug

dazzler is a lovely jubilee who is in turn a lovely boom-boom. team 9 supremacy

# ? Jan 27, 2018 13:52

pressedbunny: May 31, 2007; To A Brand New Galaxy

#5 doesn't fill me with much hope, but fingers crossed we land an appropriate hoss.

# ? Jan 27, 2018 14:18

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

Team 7 is Team Moira MacTaggert

# ? Jan 27, 2018 14:35

No Irish Need Imply: Nov 30, 2008

Antitonic posted:

I also seem to be in both Team 15 and Team 29.

Man I was sloppy this year. Coin flip says 29.

# ? Jan 27, 2018 16:44

Senerio: Oct 19, 2009; Roëmænce is ælive!

How is there no team Negasonic Teenage Warhead?

Irregardless, go Team Jubilee!

Senerio fucked around with this message at 17:29 on Jan 27, 2018

# ? Jan 27, 2018 17:25

Shima Honnou: Dec 1, 2010; The Once And Future King Of Dicetroit; College Slice

Team 1 is Team Forge because our people will be forged in the fires of victory.

# ? Jan 27, 2018 17:37

KoldPT: Oct 9, 2012

Jean Grey is going to be a random midcard, which tracks perfectly with her role in the comics.

# ? Jan 27, 2018 17:37

Gaz-L: Jan 28, 2009

Senerio posted:

How is there no team Negasonic Teenage Warhead?

Irregardless, go Team Jubilee!

Hey, I was gonna pick that, but was thwarted by way of firstsies.

# ? Jan 27, 2018 17:41

Purple Monkey: May 5, 2014; Hello

In honour of being on Team Storm please enjoy her delivering one of cinema's worst one liners https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0yKSNq-oLg

# ? Jan 27, 2018 17:45

Veryslightlymad: Jun 3, 2007; I fight with
my brain
and with an
underlying
hatred of the
Erebonian
Noble Faction

I got ousted before I could suggest Dr. Nemesis. Alas, what could have been.

# ? Jan 27, 2018 17:45

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c18oloNMkbE

Our mutant power is "Chell from Portal"

Lid fucked around with this message at 17:52 on Jan 27, 2018

# ? Jan 27, 2018 17:48

OJ MIST 2 THE DICK: Sep 11, 2008; Anytime I need to see your face I just close my eyes
And I am taken to a place
Where your crystal minds and magenta feelings
Take up shelter in the base of my spine
Sweet like a chica cherry cola
-Cheap Trick; Nap Ghost

Writer Cath posted:

Team 2 is Team Dark Phoenix.

good choice

# ? Jan 27, 2018 17:54

Open Marriage Night: Sep 18, 2009; "Do you want to talk to a spider, Peter?"

Team Longshot is feeling lucky as long as our intentions are good.

# ? Jan 27, 2018 17:58

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

Team 1 seems to be missing a name. We should be Team Bishop!

He's like a less dumb Cable!

# ? Jan 27, 2018 18:06

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

Sanguinia posted:

Team 1 seems to be missing a name. We should be Team Bishop!

He's like a less dumb Cable!

Clearly you never read Messiah Complex.

# ? Jan 27, 2018 18:09

TheJunkyardGod: Sep 19, 2004; Do not taunt the Octopus

Hell yeah team Magneto. An X-Men guy that I know!

# ? Jan 27, 2018 18:17

a new study bible!: Feb 2, 2009; BIG DICK NICK
A Philadelphia Legend
Fly Eagles Fly

Quick and lovely shop job

# ? Jan 27, 2018 18:18

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

a new study bible! posted:

Quick and lovely shop job

THIS ONES FOR YOU MOOOOOORPH

# ? Jan 27, 2018 18:20

tweet my meat: Oct 2, 2013; yospos

That DICK! posted:

Team 12 is The Stupid Assholes

This checks out on my end,you've got my vote.

# ? Jan 27, 2018 19:29

Push El Burrito: May 9, 2006; Soiled Meat

Hell yeah Team Glob!

We're all cute!

# ? Jan 27, 2018 19:53

Gaz-L: Jan 28, 2009

Lid posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c18oloNMkbE

Our mutant power is "Chell from Portal"

I'm genuinely amazed that we live in a world where Blink has appeared in live-action productions played by two different women.

# ? Jan 27, 2018 20:05

Flight Bisque: Feb 23, 2008; There is, surprisingly, always hope.

Team Jubilee, eh?

#24 (Bold indicates WINNER):
1988: N/A
1989: Brutus Beefcake
1990: Honky Tonk Man
1991: Hulk Hogan
1992: Rick Martel
1993: That youngster, Carlos Colon
1994: Genichiro Tenryu
1995: Bart Gunn
1996: Steve Austin
1997: Terry Funk
1998: Steve Austin
1999: Val Venis
2000: The Rock
2001: Crash Holly
2002: Faarooq
2003: Booker T
2004: The Big Show
2005: Paul London
2006: Super Crazy
2007: Chris Masters
2008: Big Daddy V
2009: R-Truth
2010: Chris Masters
2011: Tyson Kidd
2012: Jey Uso
2013: Kane
2014: John Bradshaw Layfield
2015: Kane
2016: Jack Swagger
2017: Dolph Ziggler

A... mixed bag, certainly. Only one dead guy, I'd almost put that against any other number! (from 1-30! (Stupid 2011 Rumble))

# ? Jan 27, 2018 20:24

Anime_Ladies.html: Dec 13, 2017; by SA Support Robot

I will be cheering on team jubilee from the sidelines.

# ? Jan 27, 2018 20:30

CarlCX: Dec 14, 2003

The #13 kingdom of Team Strong Guy peaked immediately and has been suffering ever since:

88: Jim Duggan (WINNER) 14:44, 3 eliminations
89: Bad News Brown 16:24, 1 eliminations
90: Ax 12:50, 1 eliminations
91: Jimmy Snuka 8:06 0 eliminations
92: Big Boss Man 3:38 2 eliminations
93: Samu 4:49 0 eliminations
94: Crush 25:03 3 eliminations
95: Bushwhacker Luke 0:12 0 eliminations
96: Vader 11:04 4 eliminations
97: Owen Hart 8:29 2 eliminations
98: Marc Mero 19:38 0 eliminations
99: Gangrel 0:26 0 eliminations
00: Edge 14:48 1 eliminations
01: The Rock 38:42 3 eliminations
02: Christian 12:14 3 eliminations
03: Matt Hardy 27:13 0 eliminations
04: Spike Dudley 0:00 0 eliminations
05: Muhammad Hassan 0:54 1 eliminations
06: Booker T 0:18 0 eliminations
07: Super Crazy 4:32 0 eliminations
08: Cody Rhodes 23:14 0 eliminations
09: The Miz 1:20 0 eliminations
10: Cody Rhodes 8:54 0 eliminations
11: Michael McGillicutty 15:07 4 eliminations
12: Ezekiel Jackson 3:46 0 eliminations
13: Brodus Clay 3:47 0 eliminations
14: R-Truth 0:28 0 eliminations
15: Stardust 12:49 0 eliminations
16: Luke Harper 24:16 3 eliminations
17: Baron Corbin 32:39 1 eliminations

We won the first time, but we've only notched ~350 minutes and 32 eliminations, our greatest heroes are Vader, Curtis Axel and Hacksaw Jim Duggan, more than half of our entrants didn't eliminate anyone at all, six of them were gone in less than a minute and Spike Dudley never even made it to the ring. This year, we will return to glory.

# ? Jan 27, 2018 20:47

Veryslightlymad: Jun 3, 2007; I fight with
my brain
and with an
underlying
hatred of the
Erebonian
Noble Faction

My mind is blown that at one point in his career, Curtis Axel eliminated over 10% of the Participants of the Royal Rumble

# ? Jan 27, 2018 20:50

Grant DaNasty: Jul 17, 2006

Team 6 is Joseph.

# ? Jan 27, 2018 21:09

Aphrodite: Jun 27, 2006

Senerio posted:

How is there no team Negasonic Teenage Warhead?

Irregardless, go Team Jubilee!

She was never one of the X-Men and died.

Come on, respect the canon!

# ? Jan 27, 2018 21:23

Benne: Sep 2, 2011; STOP DOING HEROIN

Here's the history of Team 14

1988: Ron Bass 10:14
1989: Marty Jannetty 7:52
1990: Haku 22:31
1991: British Bulldog 36:43
1992: Hercules 0:56
1993: The Berzerker 5:21
1994: Doink 1:48
1995: Jacob Blue 0:17
1996: Doug Gilbert 2:59
1997: Goldust 5:33
1998: Ken Shamrock 9:15
1999: Kurrgan 6:54
2000: Bob Backlund 2:00
2001: The Goodfather 0:14
2002: DDP 5:15
2003: Eddie Guerrero 16:29
2004: Rikishi 3:48
2005: Orlando Jordan 3:36
2006: Joey Mercury 29:14
2007: Jeff Hardy 3:38
2008: Umaga 26:05
2009: Fit Finlay 29:57
2010: MVP 0:08
2011: Chris Masters 1:58
2012: Jinder Mahal 1:18
2013: Rey Mysterio 14:34
2014: Kevin Nash 2:30
2015: DDP 2:28
2016: Stardust 13:58
2017: Kofi Kingston 16:16

Zero winners, only one entry went longer than 30 minutes, lots of short comedy eliminations. Not exactly liking my chances this year.

# ? Jan 27, 2018 21:58

Senerio: Oct 19, 2009; Roëmænce is ælive!

Team 24 Facts:

Wikipedia posted:

Jubilee (Jubilation Lee) is a fictional superhero appearing in American comic books published by Marvel Comics, most commonly in association with the X-Men. Created by writer Chris Claremont and artist Marc Silvestri, the character first appeared in Uncanny X-Men #244 (May 1989).

Jubilee is a member of the human subspecies known as mutants, born with superhuman abilities. She can generate pyrotechnic energy blasts from her hands. Introduced as an orphaned "mall rat" from Beverly Hills, Jubilee joined the X-Men in the early 1990s, becoming the team's youngest member and often playing a sidekick role to her father-figure, Wolverine.

Jubilee eventually joined the junior team Generation X, and was a prominent character in the 1990s-era X-Men animated series. In late 2004, Marvel launched a self-titled six-part limited series for Jubilee set in Los Angeles, written by Robert Kirkman. In early 2011, she appeared in the four-part limited series Wolverine and Jubilee, written by Kathryn Immonen.

The character is one of the depowered mutants who later reappeared using technology-based powers in the New Warriors comic book series. In 2010, she was turned into a vampire during the Curse of the Mutants storyline.

Jubilee has cameo appearances in the first three X-Men films, portrayed by Katrina Florece in the first film, and by Kea Wong in its two sequels. In 2016's X-Men: Apocalypse, she is portrayed by Lana Condor.

# ? Jan 27, 2018 23:04

achillesforever6: Apr 23, 2012; psst you wanna do a communism?

Push El Burrito posted:

Hell yeah Team Glob!

We're all cute!

That arc has my favorite line of dialogue ever written

Also required viewing for everyone in this thread
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZfmqSOr2-NY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7Bc7QQeLAY

achillesforever6 fucked around with this message at 23:17 on Jan 27, 2018

# ? Jan 27, 2018 23:13

Push El Burrito: May 9, 2006; Soiled Meat

Aphrodite posted:

She was never one of the X-Men and died.

Come on, respect the canon!

Just because you're not in the X-Men doesn't mean you're not in the X-Men. Deadpool is proof of that.

# ? Jan 27, 2018 23:20

Ganso Bomb: Oct 24, 2005; turn it all around

The History of #18/Team Stacy X:

1988: The Ultimate Warrior 03:51, 0 eliminations
1989: Hulk Hogan 11:31, 9 eliminations
1990: Dino Bravo 06:13, 0 eliminations
1991: Randy Savage 00:00, 0 eliminations (because he left the arena to go on a cool road trip with Jake Roberts)
1992: Irwin R. Schyster 27:01, 0 eliminations
1993: Irwin R. Schyster 16:00, 0 eliminations
1994: Shawn Michaels 29:17, 3 eliminations
1995: Bushwhacker Butch 00:19, 0 eliminations
1996: Shawn Michaels 26:09, 8 eliminations WINNER
1997: Faarooq 00:41, 1 elimination
1998: Jeff Jarrett 01:05, 0 eliminations
1999: Ken Shamrock 04:50, 0 eliminations
2000: Faarooq 00:18, 0 eliminations
2001: Hardcore Holly 14:04, 0 eliminations
2002: Perry Saturn 02:57, 0 eliminations
2003: John Cena 19:38, 0 eliminations
2004: Ernest Miller 00:56, 0 eliminations
2005: Simon Dean 00:20, 0 eliminations
2006: Eugene 16:25, 0 eliminations
2007: Rob Van Dam 16:28, 2 eliminations
2008: Jimmy Snuka 02:43, 0 eliminations
2009: CM Punk 22:29, 1 elimination
2010: Shawn Michaels 25:45, 6 eliminations
2011: R-Truth 01:02, 0 eliminations
2012: Dolph Ziggler 19:46, 2 eliminations
2013: Wade Barrett 20:34, 2 eliminations
2014: Fandango 03:02, 0 eliminations
2015: Adam Rose 00:08, 0 eliminations
2016: Kevin Owens 04:58, 1 elimination
2017: Rusev 22:31, 0 eliminations

A real drat mixed bag of names on this one and some of the worst times + numbers of eliminations combined. 35 eliminations in total over 29 years and only one winner � carried very heavily by Shawn Michaels in multiple years, getting 14 of the total eliminations at this number. Hopefully we have someone this year who lasts longer than Adam Rose.

Ganso Bomb fucked around with this message at 23:28 on Jan 27, 2018

# ? Jan 27, 2018 23:26

Ganso Bomb: Oct 24, 2005; turn it all around

First time I've accidentally quoted when I meant to edit. This does not bode well...

# ? Jan 27, 2018 23:28

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# ? Apr 29, 2024 12:05

achillesforever6: Apr 23, 2012; psst you wanna do a communism?

Push El Burrito posted:

Just because you're not in the X-Men doesn't mean you're not in the X-Men. Deadpool is proof of that.

Deadpool was a member of the X-Men during Way's run before it turned godawful and nearly poisoned the character

# ? Jan 27, 2018 23:29

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