Curling - Hog line violation by Steak?! - The Something Awful Forums

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Inept: Jul 8, 2003

Schedule https://www.pyeongchang2018.com/en/game-time/results/OWG2018/en/curling/daily-schedule.htm

Curling is fun to watch when you're bored. I have no idea why they yell at each other though, seems like a slightly raised voice would get the message across.

Chicken gives you a better Olympic backstory than NBC:

Chicken posted:

Women's Curling

Schedule - Click here!

Format
Ten teams play a round robin with the top four teams making the playoffs. 1 plays 4 and 2 plays 3 with the winners going to the gold medal game and the losers going to the bronze medal game.

Why should I watch women's curling?
Women's curling has improved by leaps and bounds in the past 20 years and the top women's teams are probably good enough to curl in the men's tournament. This is due to most curling federations moving to equalize curling funding between men and women. In Canada, the big tournaments have an equal amount of prize money for men and women and women's events get just as much TV time as men. Unlike a lot of team sports, most of the women's teams here could play toe to toe against most of the men's teams.

All that being said, while there are no rule differences between the two events, women's curling does tend to play out slightly differently. Women tend to play more of a finesse game with fewer big take out shots and more rocks in play. I slightly prefer watching women's curling because it's more the style I like to play when I'm skipping.

Teams

Canada - Skip: Rachel Homan Third: Emma Miskew Second: Joanne Courtney Lead: Lisa Weagle Alternate: Cheryl Bernard

This is the best women's team in the world. They went undefeated at last year's world championships and look unstoppable most of the time. They play more takeouts and big weight shots than most of the women's teams but are not at all afraid to play a low weight finesse game. Generally they'll play the first end as open as possible, mix it up for a few ends to get the lead, and then hit everything until they win the game. It's not always the most exciting game to watch but their brutal efficiency is a masterclass in strategy. If they have a weakness it's that their play on the curling tour this year has been a bit spotty, but they've been very clear that their priority has been the Olympics and I expect them to be in top form.

Official Chicken Prediction: Gold
Hero or Villain? Hero if you're Canadian, so very villainous if you're not.

China - Skip: Wang Bingyu Third: Zhou Yan Second: Liu Jinli Lead: Ma Jingyi Alternate: Jiang Xindi

There have been a few line up changes, but the bones of this team surprised a lot of the world by winning the women's world championship in 2009. They followed that up with a bronze in Vancouver but it's been slim pickings since then, finishing middle of the pack at most events. They tend to play a low risk game; they'd rather make a simple draw for one than a triple take out for three. Their strategy is generally good if a bit risk-averse, but they do sometimes have problems with ice reading (how much the rock will curl at different weights). Expect some low scoring games especially for the first 2 or 3 games although they may have to move to a more aggressive game if they start falling in the rankings. I've seen a few places thinking they're medal favourites, but I would be pretty surprised.

Official Chicken Prediction: Sixth
Hero or Villain? On one hand, they could be a good comeback story, on the other hand they're kind of boring to watch. Mild villain I guess?

Denmark - Skip: Madeleine Dupont Third: Denise Dupont Second: Julie H�gh Lead: Mathilde Halse Alternate: Lina Knudsen

Denmark just squeaked into the Olympics over Italy and I expect they'll have a tough go of it here. They have a bit of experience at the world championships but looked outmatched against most of the top teams. Their fundamentals are sound so don't expect them to get blown out in every game, but their shot calling is occasionally suspect and they don't have quite enough talent at the top end to bail them out. I've only seen a few games from them but they tend to play with a lot of rocks in play eschewing the hitting game almost completely. They'll sometimes be completely overwhelmed with two or three opponents rocks well guarded and only a hail mary left for their final shot. Expect them to lose a lot but also put up a ton of points and have some exciting ends.

Official Chicken Prediction: Tenth
Hero or Villain? South Korea gets the underdog hero spot, but it will still be hard to cheer against Denmark.

Great Britain - Skip: Eve Muirhead Third: Anna Sloan Second: Vicki Adams Lead: Lauren Gray Alternate: Kelly Schafer

The good news: Eve Muirhead and Anna Sloan are two of the best curlers in the world. The bad news: the rest of the team, not so much. The team is still a medal favourite and have loads of experience in international play, but I just can't see them competing for a gold medal. There are times where Anna will be facing a pile of opponent rocks on her first throw. To their credit, they can get themselves out of almost every situation, but expect a rough game when they play Canada or Sweden. In terms of strategy, they're a well-rounded team: equally comfortable with big weight shots and the soft finesse shots.

Official Chicken Prediction: Bronze
Hero or Villain? If this makes you think of Braveheart and gets your Scottish juices flowing then hero.

Japan - Skip: Satsuki Fujisawa Third: Chinami Yoshida Second: Mari Motohashi Lead: Yurika Yoshida Alternate: Yumi Suzuki

Most of the European and North American teams are semi professional. They'll play a whole bunch of events on the World Curling Tour and the (kind of) big money Canadian tournaments and then work the rest of the year at an accounting firm or something. The Asian teams, due to the travel costs, won't play many events outside Asia, but are generally funded by the Olympic committees in the country to be full time curlers. Japan sort of does both: the team actually works for a company but spends most of their time curling on the company's dime as a promotional thing. So this team has the time and the money for coaching and are extremely solid curlers. What they lack is a lot of experience against top teams. I'm sure they've played China and South Korea a lot but may find themselves playing blind against some of the other teams. Of course that goes both ways; Canada and Sweden might not know what to expect when they play Japan. They tend to play a bit more offensively than the Chinese with more rocks in play and might be able to surprise a few teams.

Official Chicken Prediction: Seventh
Hero or Villain? As a man terrified of corporations taking over everything, I'd have to say they're villains.

That Country Between Finland and North Korea That We Can't Name - Skip: Victoria Moiseeva Third: Uliana Vasilyeva Second: Galina Arsenkina Lead: Julia Guzieva Alternate: Yulia Portunova

For years, Anna Sidorova has been the face of Russian women's curling but her team lost to these women at the national playdowns. I don't know anything about this team, but Anna Sidorova would have been a medal favourite so this team must be pretty good. For most teams, the alternate is only there in case of illness or injury but in the past Russia have used substituted their alternate if one player wasn't playing great or to play against some the opposing teams weaknesses and you might see that here.

Official Chicken Prediction: Uhhhhhhh fifth I guess?
Hero or Villain? You just can't cheer for Russian people at these Olympics. Villain.

South Korea - Skip: Kim Eun-jung Third: Kim Kyeong-ae Second: Kim Seon-yeong Lead: Kim Yeong-mi Alternate: Kim Cho-hi

Another team I don't know much about. I expect they'll play a bit like the Chinese and Japanese teams but they've pulled in some top Canadian talent to coach so you might see some more North American style strategy. I don't think they'll do well due to their lack of experience but never underestimate how far a home town crowd can get you.

Official Chicken Prediction: Ninth
Hero or Villain? Underdog Heroes! And as has been mentioned in this thread, the South Korean fans are loud and boisterous and a lot of fun.

Sweden - Skip: Anna Hasselborg Third: Sara McManus Second: Agnes Knochenhauer Lead: Sofia Mabergs Alternate: Jennie W�hlin

Eternal second place finishers, this team has never won a major international competition but they're almost always a medal favourite. They're a well balanced team with no flaws and they're young but have a pile of international experience. In terms of strategy they play more up weight shots than most of the teams but not quite as much as Canada. They're fun to watch and will put up a pile of rocks in play if they feel they can exploit a weakness in the other team. The only question is if they have can finally win a gold medal.

Official Chicken Prediction: Silver
Hero or Villain? As the only team with a shot at toppling the Canadians, they've got to be heroes. Unless you're Canadian.

Switzerland - Skip: Silvana Tirinzoni Third: Manuela Siegrist Second: Esther Neuenschwander Lead: Marlene Albrecht Alternate: Jenny Perret

This is another team that's come out of nowhere. It's no surprise to see Switzerland here, but for years this has been the third best team in the country. But this team went undefeated at the Swiss qualifiers and could certainly surprise a few teams here. I haven't seen more than a few games from them but they appear to be a poor man's Sweden: well rounded, excellent strategically, just a bit less skill.

Official Chicken Prediction: fourth
Hero or Villain? Good black horse team. You can cheer for them and when they finish well you can astound all your friends by saying that you were cheering for Switzerland at the beginning of the round robin.

United States - Skip: Nina Roth Third: Tabitha Peterson Second: Aileen Geving Lead: Rebecca Hamilton Alternate: Cory Christensen

There's some impressive junior curling credentials on this team but not a lot at the senior level. Lead Rebecca Hamilton is also playing in the mixed doubles which could give them a spark of momentum or just tire her out. From what little I've seen, they're a middle of the road team with no glaring weaknesses but nothing that puts them above the rest of the pack.

Official Chicken Prediction: eighth
Hero or Villain? Do you really want to cheer for Americans?

Chicken posted:

Men's Curling

Schedule - Click here!

Format
Ten teams play a round robin with the top four teams making the playoffs. 1 plays 4 and 2 plays 3 with the winners going to the gold medal game and the losers going to the bronze medal game.

Teams

Canada - Skip: Kevin Koe Third: Marc Kennedy Second: Brent Laing Lead: Ben Hebert Alternate: Scott Pfeifer

After the retirement of Kevin Martin, there hasn't been one men's team that can claim to be the best in Canada. Gushue, MacEwen, Norris, and Jacobs have all given it a try but since the creation of this all star team in 2014, they've certainly made the best argument. The lead and third won a gold medal with Kevin Martin in Vancouver and there's a combined nine world championships between the four players. Kevin Koe himself has spent much of his career in obscurity, growing up in the curling backwater of Yellowknife, NWT and then spending years as a second tier team in Alberta before the retirements of Martin and Ferbey allowed him to come to the fore. These guys throw huge weight with deadly accuracy and there will be a highlight reel shot every other end. That's not the only tool in their belt though; their draw weight is exceptional and Kevin's ice reading is second to none. I wouldn't put them as heavily favourited as Rachel Homan, but anything less than gold will be a disappointment.

Official Chicken Prediction: Gold
Hero or Villain? They yell a lot and are kind of dicks on the ice. Even as a Canadian it'll be hard to cheer for these guys.

Denmark - Skip: Rasmus Stjerne Third: Johnny Frederiksen Second: Mikkel Poulsen Lead: Oliver Dupont Alternate: Morten Berg Thomsen

A bit more experienced than their female compatriots, this team will still have a tough time of it here. They don't have the skill at the big weight shots that allow a team to hold a lead, so while they might be able to mix it up in the middle of a game, expect the other teams to pounce on these guys in the eighth and ninth ends.

Official Chicken Prediction: Ninth
Hero or Villain? The most villainous Scandinavians here although that's not saying much.

Great Britain - Skip: Kyle Smith Third: Thomas Muirhead Second: Kyle Waddell Lead: Cameron Smith Alternate: Glen Muirhead

This team was selected by their country's Olympic committee over the established David Murdoch which was a bit of a surprise. Having seen a bit of their play, it's hard to see why that decision was made, but Scotland is deep enough that these guys could win a few games. The talent is apparent but the experience just isn't there and unless they've done a lot of homework since I last saw them, the shot-calling will be hit and miss.

Official Chicken Prediction: Eighth
Hero or Villain? Villainous usurpers of the rightful representative.

Italy - Fourth: Amos Mosaner Skip: Jo�l Retornaz Second: Simone Gonin Lead: Daniele Ferrazza Alternate: Andrea Pilzer

Every time I've seen these guys play, one of the commentators brings up when they beat Canada in the round robin at the 2006 Olympics in Turin. They didn't make the playoffs that year, but a victory over Canada by a second tier curling country put their name in a lot of people's minds. There have been a few lineup changes in the past twelve years, but there's still that ability to beat some top teams. They play a quiet, unassuming game but keep enough rocks in play that they can score a big end by capitalizing on mistakes. I can't see them in a playoff spot but will be on the edge of my seat when they play Canada.

Official Chicken Prediction: Fifth
Hero or Villain? Giantkilling heroes.

Japan - Skip: Yusuke Morozumi Third: Tetsuro Shimizu Second: Tsuyoshi Yamaguchi Lead: Kosuke Morozumi Alternate: Kohsuke Hirata

This team's competed a bit on the Canadian circuit and get a little better each time I see them. The weight has always been good, but the strategy and ice reading has improved by leaps and bounds. They would prefer not to throw a lot of takeouts, and when they do, they'd prefer to play soft enough weight that some rocks will stick around. Hard to see them doing well against the top half of the teams but if they can beat the teams they're capable of beating and get a bit of luck, you might see them in a playoff spot.

Official Chicken Prediction: Sixth
Hero or Villain? They're only getting better so get on this bandwagon while you can.

Norway - Skip: Thomas Ulsrud Third: Torger Nerg�rd Second: Christoffer Svae Lead: H�vard Vad Petersson Alternate: Sander R�lv�g

They wear cool rear end pants. The last two Olympics have seen the pants of the Norwegian team achieve great heights: New York Times articles, magazine spreads, their own Facebook page. But behind the pants is a great team. Ulsrud is (I believe) the oldest player in the field and he's got the kind of veteran savvy that can carry a team. One of the most finesse based teams here, they play a fun style of curling with lots of rocks in the house. They've got the skill and savvy to stay in games even without the huge takeouts and when the dust settles I wouldn't be surprised to see these guys go home with a medal to showcase at their next pants photoshoot.

Official Chicken Prediction: Bronze
Hero or Villain? The pants are cool, the team is cool. Heroes!

South Korea - Skip: Kim Chang-min Third: Seong Se-hyeon Second: Oh Eun-Su Lead: Lee Ki-bokAlternate: Kim Min-chan

I've only seen this team once, when they finished second at a Canadian event late last year. Put a big asterisk next to that, because most of the big teams were preparing for Olympics qualifying and the winners were a third tier Scottish team. Still that's great experience for a young team and they should have the skill to keep most of the games close even if they don't win many.

Official Chicken Prediction: Tenth
Hero or Villain? Hometown heroes.

Sweden - Skip: Niklas Edin Third: Oskar Eriksson Second: Rasmus Wran� Lead: Christoffer Sundgren Alternate: Henrik Leek

These guys match up pretty well to the Canadians and their round robin game next Saturday will probably be a gold medal game preview. The front end is a little more elegant but Edin can throw big weight with the best in the world. He's also great at strategy and ice reading and he might be upset with a shot that looks good, just because he rolled an inch too far to set up a shot later in the end. No weaknesses except that they're not quiiiiiiite as good as Canada. Nevertheless, if they can take advantage of a few mistakes they have a decent shot at a gold.

Official Chicken Prediction: Silver
Hero or Villain? Still kind of dicks on the ice but they're nicer than Canada.

Switzerland - Fourth: Beno�t Schwarz Third: Claudio P�tz Skip: Peter de Cruz Lead: Valentin Tanner Alternate: Dominik M�rki

More well rounded than most of the other teams, they're partial to the low weight game but can throw big weight when needed. One of the unique things about this team is that their skip throws the third and fourth rocks. You'll see de Cruz holding the broom for the first two rocks, then run down to the other end to throw two shots, and then head back to holding the broom. It's a good tactical move to have whoever is the strategic genius plan the shots whatever rocks they throw, but there's some accountability to throwing the last rocks and running the team. You might see a bit of too many cooks in the kitchen, with the third and fourth expecting to have some input on the shots they'll throw. Keep an eye on the clock too, because all that discussion takes up valuable time.

Official Chicken Prediction: Fourth
Hero or Villain? Low key heroes.

United States - Skip: John Shuster Third: Tyler George Second: Matt Hamilton Lead: John Landsteiner Alternate: Joe Polo

This thread's punching bag, John Shuster returns to the Olympics happily unaware of his terrible reputation here. They like big weight and that might be all you need at the Ten Thousand Lakes Fun Bonspiel in Cold-As-Balls, Minnesota, but at the Olympics you need the finesse game too and I haven't seen anything to suggest they can match up here. Still, they've had some decent results in the past and if they can go in under the radar and avoid getting mixed up in ends that will be on "Worst of the Olympics" highlight reels, they have an extremely outside chance at a playoff spot.

Official Chicken Prediction: Seventh
Hero or Villain? Villain.

Chicken posted:

Mixed Doubles Curling

I know the least about mixed doubles curling but as it's started already I'll do what I can.

Schedule

Rules

Mixed doubles is a brand new event at the Olympics and pretty new overall. It was invented in 2001 and the first world championship wasn't until 2008. As you might guess from the name, teams consist of two players, one male and one female. Teams play eight ends instead of the ten in men's and women's. Each team throws five rocks an end with one player throwing the first and fifth rocks and the other player throw the other three. The other player can either hold the broom for the thrower to aim at or they can sweep the rock. The thrower can also get up and sweep their own rocks. There aren't really any rules on this so you might see teams change it up depending on the type of shot. No rocks can be taken out of play until after the fourth rock is thrown.

The biggest difference is that there are two rocks placed in play at the beginning of each end. The team that has last rock in the end gets a stone of their colour placed in the house at the back of the button. The other team has their stone placed as a guard in front of the other rock. Each team has the option, once per game when they have last rock, to move the rocks 4 feet to the side. This is called a powerplay. Just like hockey. I guess?

To determine who gets last rock in the first end (also called the hammer) all players throw a rock as close to the middle as possible. The team with the smallest combined distance to the middle get last rock. This is an advantage!

Format

The eight teams play a round robin. The top four teams make the playoffs. Team 1 plays Team 4 and Team 2 plays Team 3 with winners going to the gold medal game and losers going to the bronze medal game.

Teams

Canada - Kaitlyn Lawes and John Morris

If you just looked at the pedigree of these two you'd think they'd be shoo-ins for the gold medal. Each have won an Olympic gold medal and between them they have multiple national and world championships. The only problem is that they've won all those in men's and women's. The first time they played mixed doubles was at the Canadian Olympic playdowns a month ago! Their biggest challenge will be learning the game. I noticed at the playdowns that John sometimes dictates what's going to happen while Kaitlyn often has the better plan. If they're going to challenge for a medal John's going to need to shut the hell up once in a while.

Hero or Villain? If you're not from Canada definitely villains, Heroes if you're Canadian.

China - Wang Rui and Ba Dexin

These two have won a silver and bronze medal at the last two mixed doubles world championships and they have have a handful of Olympic and world championship appearances. I haven't watched them play but if they're like the other Chinese teams they'll try to play a fairly defensive, low- scoring game.

Hero or Villain? Hero if you're a fan of racial diversity at the Winter Olympics.

Finland - Oona Kauste - Tomi Rantam�ki

She's played for the Finnish national women's team for a while. He, on the other hand, has come out of nowhere. There's nothing about him on the internet. Is he a spy? A ringer? Nobody knows! All we know is that they are the most Finnish looking people in the world.

Hero or Villain? Meh.

Norway - Kristin Skaslien - Magnus Nedregotten

I saw them beat Canada in the first game and they looked really good. He missed a few shots but she was on the ball. Or rock I guess. I don't think they played a single take out the whole game so expect to see some really high scoring games.

Hero or Villain? They don't wear cool pants like their men's team compatriots, so villain.

Definitely not Russia - Anastasia Bryzgalova - Alexander Krushelnitskiy

They won the world mixed doubles two year's ago so they can definitely challenge for a medal here. Unlike most of the other teams almost all of their experience is in mixed doubles so expect them to have a leg up on the competition. Although they got stomped by the Americans so what do I know?

Hero or Villain? I don't think Russia can avoid being the villains at these Olympics in any sport.

United States - Rebecca Hamilton - Matt Hamilton

Like the Canadians, these two have very little experience in mixed doubles but quite a bit of other curling experience. I assumed they'd be bad but they beat Russia so they might actually be good. He might be the most stereotypical American at the Olympics.

Hero or Villain? I want to say villain, but that moustache is endearing...

South Korea - Jang Hye-ji - Lee Ki-jeong

These two have basically no experience and only got in because their country is hosting. They beat Finland in their first game though so the boisterous home crowd might just carry them to the playoffs.

Hero or Villain? Underdog heroes!

Switzerland - Jenny Perret - Martin Rios

Switzerland has won more mixed doubles world championships than everybody else combined and they are definitely the gold medal favourites.

Hero or Villain? Do you like cheering for the New England Patriots, New York Yankees, or Manchester United? Then cheer for Switzerland you jerk.