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ariiiiise! ARIIIIISE! https://i.imgur.com/3J3gGDx.mp4
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Feb 21, 2023 23:38
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Wow, thanks for bringing this thread back from the grave. Given my username it's somewhat weird I never posted in it. Here's one: A couple of years ago I had to go to a drink&draw event in a brand new cultural center. I hadn't been there before, and coming from a background of architecture, I was telling my wife in the car I looked forward to seeing the new building. The drive was quite long and we had very quickly eaten before heading over. The curry we wolfed down had a lot of chickpeas and lentils in it. Two ingredients that can turn my stomach into gas production facility powerful enough to power the entire European industry for a day or two. I was struggling to keep the pipeline shut in the car, since I didn't wanted to murder my wife. And after what seemed forever we finally get there and I drive into the underground parking lot. We get out of the car and we immediately walk to the elevator, together with some other people who are slightly late for the event. While walking I look up to the ceiling and wanted to comment on it when the lid of my north stream just bursts and a sound of a foghorn echos through this massive underground concrete bunker stopping everybody dead in their tracks, children staring wide eyed and an alarm went off (this was just a van backing up, but the timing was just perfect). I kept looking at the ceiling, pretended not to be horrified and said: 'Wow, I love what they've done with the acoustics in this place.'
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Feb 22, 2023 10:30
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I was having a bathroom meeting with an ops manager (we were pissing at the same time) and I just ripped a cheek clapper while taking to him and holding my dick. He didn't say anything but it was like a symphony of pissing and farting while we performed a duet of "Everything's loving late" Someone was making GBS threads while we did that.
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Feb 22, 2023 15:09
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I like people in public restrooms that try to let out a fart a little at a time because they know they have company and it ends up sounding like a broken zipper.
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Feb 22, 2023 15:50
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Public restrooms are the best places to go loud & proud, not like you'll ever see (or hear) those folks again anyways
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Feb 22, 2023 20:30
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BOOTY-ADE posted:Public restrooms are the best places to go loud & proud, not like you'll ever see (or hear) those folks again anyways And if you do, you’ve already established dominance 
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Feb 22, 2023 20:32
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mrfart posted:Wow, thanks for bringing this thread back from the grave. The moment you said underground i busted up in what was coming X3
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Mar 18, 2023 02:15
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Dillbag posted:ariiiiise! That dog has smelled some poo poo.
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Mar 18, 2023 06:07
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(Posted recently in the other GBS fart thread, but I want to ensure all fart afficionados see my fartfelt apology and rundown of recent scientific research on the subject.) I want to apologise for the misinformation I've previously given in (from memory) this fart thread, and probably other fart threads too, about whether farts contain poop microparticles. It turns out that apparently they don't, under normal (pants on) circumstances. However, farting while with your pants off while preparing food means you, and anyone else in the kitchen, might well soon be eating your poop particles (yum!). These scientific facts were discovered by, I'm proud to say, an Australian microbiologist at the request of well known (in Aust.) scientist Dr Karl Kruszelnicki. The experiment involved farting near Petri dishes, with pants on and pants off, then waiting to see what developed. It just struck me that when a person wearing a dress (or kilt) farts, especially when not wearing any knickers, poop microparticles might well be be on the loose! (No doubt this will be taken as a farting tip by some of you.) [Source: https://www.iflscience.com/when-you-smell-poop-is-that-because-poop-particles-have-gone-up-your-nose-65611
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Mar 20, 2023 11:26
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May 16, 2023 21:54
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Did you ask AI to come up with a new pornhub category?
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May 17, 2023 17:17
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Fart porn has been a thing since at least 2011, when a navy guy I worked with came into our tent in Afghanistan to show it to us. The video would’ve been a legendary fart to start with, but using it to throw cake just made it as ridiculous as it was funny 
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May 17, 2023 18:40
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I resurrect thee!
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Aug 28, 2023 05:29
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Three pubescent kids + extra cheese pizza = the worst stench I've ever experienced
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Aug 28, 2023 13:16
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One of the most important threads on all SA
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Aug 28, 2023 13:21
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Pershing posted:Three pubescent kids + extra cheese pizza = the worst stench I've ever experienced Close second to diet change, I remember how horrible my farts were years ago when I started lifting & changing things up. Same with a lot of people I knew in high school, especially the football players & wrestlers - the combo of bulking/cutting & the kind of food they ate could clear half the school.
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Aug 28, 2023 16:53
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Pershing posted:Three pubescent kids + extra cheese pizza = the worst stench I've ever experienced Ever been in Taekwondo gym with 30 kids ages 5-18?
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Aug 28, 2023 19:27
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Btw she has a whole YouTube channel of this stuff
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Aug 28, 2023 19:28
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Bonzo posted:Ever been in Taekwondo gym with 30 kids ages 5-18? Following a traditional Korean meal?
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Aug 28, 2023 20:23
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BOOTY-ADE posted:Close second to diet change, I remember how horrible my farts were years ago when I started lifting & changing things up. Same with a lot of people I knew in high school, especially the football players & wrestlers - the combo of bulking/cutting & the kind of food they ate could clear half the school. I'm on a cut and trying to lose as little muscle as possible; the massive amounts of protein I have to eat have made my farts incredible room-destroyers
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Aug 28, 2023 21:35
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4dtpir7HT0
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Aug 29, 2023 00:21
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fast cars loose anus posted:I'm on a cut and trying to lose as little muscle as possible; the massive amounts of protein I have to eat have made my farts incredible room-destroyers Change the first half of your name to like “big gains” or something, the back half is fine though 
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Aug 29, 2023 00:39
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My youngest niece loves to fart. She thinks it hilarious and will proudly announce if she feels one coming on. She's 10 now and all her friends are starting to mature a bit and she's upset that farting isn't acceptable to them. She said to me, "Uncle Bonzo, it's not fair. When boys fart everyone laughs but when I did it they called me gross. Why do boys get away with it and not girls?" As I was struggling to come up with a reply other than, "Yeah that's going to happen a lot in life", she farted and started laughing. That kid is going places.
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Oct 14, 2023 18:06
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I remember when I was a kid I had this joke where I would say "hmmm I wonder" and put my hand on my chin covering my mouth at the same time and then I would make a fart noise with my lips. Then I would say "ewww you farted!" I guess I was covering my mouth so you couldn't tell it was fake? And then blaming it on the other person. The perfect crime.
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Oct 15, 2023 03:13
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Dec 5, 2023 22:42
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qMveib1wXRw https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AIsmfRuXww Golly! Really?
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Dec 31, 2023 22:40
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AI has delivered us a theme song: https://suno.com/song/4a1b6104-4d95-48cb-b619-04ad31465181/
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Apr 10, 2024 01:59
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| # ? May 2, 2024 22:33 |
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wolrah posted:AI has delivered us a theme song: https://suno.com/song/4a1b6104-4d95-48cb-b619-04ad31465181/ Ah yes, another hit from Brown Note Records
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Apr 10, 2024 03:26
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