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The new General Manager is scouring all available talent. After losing out on Jesus Christ of Nazareth, the Packers select Harry Potter, Cornerback, Hogwarts 
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Mar 27, 2018 22:15
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There's no one for Arizona, Baltimore or LA, right? I'm assuming I'm next but wanted to confirm before making my pick.
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Mar 27, 2018 22:41
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seiferguy posted:There's no one for Arizona, Baltimore or LA, right? I'm assuming I'm next but wanted to confirm before making my pick. There are no owners for the Cardinals or Ravens, but the Chargers GM is Afterbirth Aftermath. They're on the clock now. Erainor posted:The new General Manager is scouring all available talent. After losing out on Jesus Christ of Nazareth, the Packers select I don't know why, but I'm laughing my rear end off at that picture.
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Mar 27, 2018 23:00
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The Chargers fill a need, which is complete lack of likable players, by drafting Bud-Lite Kaminski, T, ESU 
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Mar 28, 2018 01:27
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The Seahawks need an offensive line, and a touchdown scoring threat now that Jimmy Graham skipped town. Why not get both? The Seattle Seahawks draft RG/RB William Fontaine de La Tour Dauterive, aka The BILLDOZER out of Arlen High School.  Pros: high motor drive, lives for football. Touchdown scoring threat, is tied for the all time record for Arlen High's TD record. Versatile as an offensive linemen. Cons: low self-esteem, guys in the locker room dunk on him. Partly suicidal. Questionable choices in his girlfriends raises character issues.
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Mar 28, 2018 01:53
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That'sadanggonegoodpickItellyouwhat Incompetent and the Cowboys are up!
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Mar 28, 2018 01:57
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Time for me to win the draft. Bo Jackson has nothing on this guy. He has played in every sport that is under the sun and he has dominated in every single one of them. The Dallas Cowboys select  And I have no idea what school he comes from or what exact position he is playing.
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Mar 28, 2018 04:05
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incompetent posted:Time for me to win the draft. Any relation to Mark? Surprised the Jets didn't snatch him up. Detroit Lions and Android Apocalypse are on the clock.
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Mar 28, 2018 13:28
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Erainor posted:The new General Manager is scouring all available talent. After losing out on Jesus Christ of Nazareth, the Packers select This kid has no real talent and has been pounding luck potion to get where he is. When his eyes fall out and his nostrils close up in three years, the pack is gonna regret this one hard.
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Mar 28, 2018 13:53
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Quiet Feet posted:This kid has no real talent and has been pounding luck potion to get where he is. When his eyes fall out and his nostrils close up in three years, the pack is gonna regret this one hard. I wonder if someone has done something similar with Voldemort? The Vikings need a pick...
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Mar 28, 2018 19:37
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With the 20th pick of the 2018 NFL Fictional draft, the Detroit Lions select Hound, WR, Cybertron University https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZDn85i4YpA&t=174s Pros: Can shrug off press coverage at the line of scrimmage, incredible breakaway speed. Cons: Has trouble breaking through tackles when confronted head-on. Cybertron University proving to be the collegiate powerhouse in this draft.
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Mar 28, 2018 20:35
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Silly Burrito posted:Any relation to Mark? Surprised the Jets didn't snatch him up. The jets didn’t really want to risk it with another Sanchez. Executives will be closely monitoring Uncle Rico’s relationship with his nephew’s friend Pedro Sanchez to avoid any buttfumble bad mojo
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Mar 28, 2018 21:29
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Android Apocalypse posted:With the 20th pick of the 2018 NFL Fictional draft, the Detroit Lions select Hound, WR, Cybertron University And with that video, a team might be wise to draft Grimlock as DE or DT. The Bengals have no owners so the Bills and Acebuckeye13 are back up!
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Mar 28, 2018 21:44
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Hell, I was tempted to take Bumblebee at Left Guard as his ability to block Grimlock from that footage.
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Mar 28, 2018 22:06
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The Buffalo Bills need a Quarterback, and with the 22nd pick are selecting Griff Oberwald, Streissen College Admittedly at 35 he's an older pick, but his stats in the Blood Bowl Leagues speak for themselves-with 65 passing TDs, 96 rushing TDs, and 69 confirmed kills/serious injuries inflicted, he's a seriously dangerous dual-threat QB, and has the experience and grit to succeed where few others have in Upstate New York.
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Mar 29, 2018 04:14
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Skipping the Rams, so the Panthers and Zimbomonkey are up!
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Mar 29, 2018 17:42
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I feel like Griff Oberwald would get banned pretty quick by Goodell as the poster child for "safer NFL" Hell of an XFL pick though.
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Mar 29, 2018 18:04
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With the 24th pick (or so) in the Fictional Character draft, the Panthers fill every hole currently on the roster AND bring the blue lives matter crowd into the fold with This Fine Police Officer Who Never Did Anything Wrong And Is Just Trying to Locate A Missing Child, WR/CB/S, Skynet College of Applied Technology (apparently it's an online school?). No owner for the Falcons or Titans so SillyBurrito and the Saints are on the clock!
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Mar 29, 2018 20:31
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I dont remember the football scene in T2!
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Mar 29, 2018 20:33
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zimbomonkey posted:With the 24th pick (or so) in the Fictional Character draft, the Panthers fill every hole currently on the roster AND bring the blue lives matter crowd into the fold with This Fine Police Officer Who Never Did Anything Wrong And Is Just Trying to Locate A Missing Child, WR/CB/S, Skynet College of Applied Technology (apparently it's an online school?). Lol there was one goddamn rule I love it
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Mar 29, 2018 21:49
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zimbomonkey posted:With the 24th pick (or so) in the Fictional Character draft, the Panthers fill every hole currently on the roster AND bring the blue lives matter crowd into the fold with This Fine Police Officer Who Never Did Anything Wrong And Is Just Trying to Locate A Missing Child, WR/CB/S, Skynet College of Applied Technology (apparently it's an online school?). Athanatos posted:I dont remember the football scene in T2! Amy Pole Her posted:Lol there was one goddamn rule Yeah, that's the one rule, the fictional character has to be shown playing football. Do you have a comic or other image of this fine officer playing football?
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Mar 29, 2018 22:40
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While we wait on the Panthers to show proof that this fine outstanding officer has played the game, the Saints take the 27th pick and take one of the most versatile players to ever play the game: Patrick "Eel" O'Brian, WR/OL/football, DCU You may know him better as Plastic Man.  The Saints have needed a WR who can stretch the field, and believe me, stretching the field is O'Brian's speciality. You can see above just how all Drew Brees has to do is to throw it high in the air, and O'Brian can stretch his arms up way higher than any DB can jump and catch the ball. However, what if a lineman gets hurt? No problem there, O'Brian can actually take the place of ALL the linemen.  And we all know that Sean Payton loves a trick play. Well, O'Brian can actually become the football, and have Brees throw him to the endzone for a touchdown where he can catch...himself.  So, while he may have a checkered past, the Saints are overjoyed to get one of the most flexible players in the draft. Considering we haven't even touched his superhuman strength and agility and his invulnerability, the Saints look like they've got a winner here in Mr. O'Brian. Since the Steelers and Jags do not have owners the Minnesota Vikings and Dubious are on the clock!
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Mar 29, 2018 23:02
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zimbomonkey posted:With the 24th pick (or so) in the Fictional Character draft, the Panthers fill every hole currently on the roster AND bring the blue lives matter crowd into the fold with This Fine Police Officer Who Never Did Anything Wrong And Is Just Trying to Locate A Missing Child, WR/CB/S, Skynet College of Applied Technology (apparently it's an online school?). A part of me wants zimbomonkey to keep this (allegedly illegal) pick just to see what happens when the Panthers have to travel to Green Bay in January. 
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Mar 30, 2018 00:30
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The Minnesota Vikings look to shore up their offense with the extremely potent and violent running style of former Los Angeles product Billy Cole, RB Pundits pointed to his character issues as a ding on his draft stock, but he should have a place in the league for a long time if he can clean up his act.
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Mar 30, 2018 01:36
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Dubious posted:The Minnesota Vikings look to shore up their offense with the extremely potent and violent running style of former Los Angeles product Billy Cole, RB He's no boy scout, that's for sure.  The New England Bradys and Sweet Geek Swag are up!
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Mar 30, 2018 01:45
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So the main priority for the Patriots, is to have enough cap space to pick up whatever castoff receivers, running backs and defensive backs that other teams cut. So we need to get leaner in some of the more disposable positions. Our kicker, Stephen Gostkowski, is a solid veteran with a proven record. But a veteran commands a veterans salary, which we cannot afford. Therefore we are drafting Charlie (Chuck) Brown, Backyard Pickup Game, K as our first round pick for the 2018 draft. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=055wFyO6gag Some may question the wisdom of drafting a kicker in the first round who has never successfully completed a kick. They don't understand the Patriot Way.
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Mar 30, 2018 02:27
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sweet geek swag posted:So the main priority for the Patriots, is to have enough cap space to pick up whatever castoff receivers, running backs and defensive backs that other teams cut. So we need to get leaner in some of the more disposable positions. Our kicker, Stephen Gostkowski, is a solid veteran with a proven record. But a veteran commands a veterans salary, which we cannot afford. Therefore we are drafting Charlie (Chuck) Brown, Backyard Pickup Game, K as our first round pick for the 2018 draft. The 'skins 2nd-rounder! My draft board is ruined! 
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Mar 30, 2018 02:31
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I was hoping someone would pick up ol Blockhead.  Quiet Feet and the World Champion Eagles are up for the last pick of the first round.
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Mar 30, 2018 02:34
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The Philadelphia Eagles with the 32nd overall pick in the draft select Bones Jackson, RB, Midway Monsters https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g8WVuHpsUig Pros: Clear standout in both football and hockey. Incredible speed and agility due to lack of cumbersome flesh and organs. No ligaments means no ligament tears. Cons: Underweight for position. Commitment to football questionable. Uncertainty whether the dead can even legally play professional football.
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Mar 30, 2018 02:54
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And with that, Round 1 is over and Round 2 begins. Anyone reading this who wants to pick up a team who didn't pick, just post. Any Mel Kiper style analysis on the picks, feel free! Edward Mass, round 2, more Browns picks!
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Mar 30, 2018 03:00
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With the 33rd overall selection, the Cleveland Browns select Gypsy, C, Satellite of Love University https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0S66KAW4zmQ&t=6056s
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Mar 30, 2018 06:04
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Edward Mass posted:With the 33rd overall selection, the Cleveland Browns select Gypsy, C, Satellite of Love University  I love this dumb pick
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Mar 30, 2018 06:34
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seiferguy posted:
Agreed, I had no idea Gypsy played football. I am a shameful MST3K fan. Quiet Feet and the Giants are up.
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Mar 30, 2018 12:58
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The New York Football Giants with the 34th overall pick in the draft select Peter Griffin, Center, Quahog Community College  Pros: Heavy Cons: Poor physical shape, old for a rookie, history of knee injuries  Oh no, a run on centers! Why are the Giants picking two centers in the1st and 2nd rounds, it's almost like the NY Giants are big dumb idiots who suuuuuuck! Aside, that must be one of the original KTMA episodes of MST3K. I've never seen it and it looks old as poo poo.
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Mar 30, 2018 18:15
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Browns time to pick again...they have a ton of picks.
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Mar 30, 2018 19:02
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With the 35th overall selection, the Cleveland Browns select Leon Sandcastle, CB, Not Florida State https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uYJv4iPzMVo Edward Mass fucked around with this message at 19:51 on Mar 30, 2018 |
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Mar 30, 2018 19:47
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Colts and Athanatos are up next with back to back picks.
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Mar 30, 2018 20:29
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With pick 36, the Indy Colts pick: Dan Conner, Offensive Linesman out of Lanford, Illinois. All-District Offensive Linesman 3 years in a row #1 Team in the state of Illinois in 68. Athanatos fucked around with this message at 21:01 on Mar 30, 2018 |
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Mar 30, 2018 20:54
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With the 37th overall selection, the Indianapolis Colts select: Monica Geller, WR/Special Teams/QB out of New York City 
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Mar 30, 2018 21:00
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Only bad thing about Dan Conner was that he was presumed dead until very recently, so a slightly risky choice by the Colts. Love the Geller pick, she's a scrappy player who brings her secret weapon "The Moistmaker" to the game. Skipping the Bucs, Darth Brooks and Da Bears are up!
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Mar 30, 2018 22:57
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