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sweet geek swag
Mar 29, 2006

Adjust lasers to FUN!





I will do the Pats cause I want them to suffer.

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sweet geek swag
Mar 29, 2006

Adjust lasers to FUN!





Makes it more likely I'm gonna get my man.

sweet geek swag
Mar 29, 2006

Adjust lasers to FUN!





So the main priority for the Patriots, is to have enough cap space to pick up whatever castoff receivers, running backs and defensive backs that other teams cut. So we need to get leaner in some of the more disposable positions. Our kicker, Stephen Gostkowski, is a solid veteran with a proven record. But a veteran commands a veterans salary, which we cannot afford. Therefore we are drafting Charlie (Chuck) Brown, Backyard Pickup Game, K as our first round pick for the 2018 draft.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=055wFyO6gag

Some may question the wisdom of drafting a kicker in the first round who has never successfully completed a kick. They don't understand the Patriot Way.

sweet geek swag
Mar 29, 2006

Adjust lasers to FUN!





As I said before, the Patriots main goal is to release some of dead weight off our roster. So we are releasing Rob Gronkowski and drafting Scooby-Doo, Coolsville High, TE .

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1mG6KtW1cC0

I'm sure he won't run away from everyone and will be a fantastic blocking tight end.

sweet geek swag
Mar 29, 2006

Adjust lasers to FUN!





Quiet Feet posted:

Um um..uh panic pick! The 'skins take Lucy Van Pelt, Holder, Backyard Pickup Game



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=055wFyO6gag

Pros: Will work for peanuts

Cons: Is literally a little girl. No kicker has successfully kicked a ball she's held

Dammit, I knew I should have made her my second pick.

sweet geek swag
Mar 29, 2006

Adjust lasers to FUN!





The Patriots are still cutting dead weight, which is why we are cutting known bad quarterback Tom Brady and drafting Bart Simpson, QB, Springfield Grade School.

https://youtu.be/_oil2INwurE

It is quite clear that coach Simpson clearly preferred Bart over Nelson Muntz, so it seems strange that the Colts chose him. I anticipate Bart being a strong addition to our roster, assuming he recovers from that injury of course.

sweet geek swag
Mar 29, 2006

Adjust lasers to FUN!





The Patriots sign, Hans Moleman, WR, Springfield. Look at that form. Also a favorite of coach Simpson.

https://youtu.be/WUTVmuqviqE

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sweet geek swag
Mar 29, 2006

Adjust lasers to FUN!





Vincent Van Goatse posted:

The San Francisco 49ers select Brock Samson, DT, State University as an UDFA. Just like Tecmo Bo it's shocking how far he fell on the draft boards.



His tendency to brutally murder the people who get in his way is an issue for many teams.

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