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I'm planning on writing full crits for that TDome week, including that story, but before: yeah, the public-hair opening absolutely needs to go. I'm on the fence about the cloaca. On one hand, it's appropriate to the themes of the story that the surgery result in what most people would consider to be a horrific outcome, but which the protagonist finds positive because he's so broken by dysmorphia and wellness obsession; on the other, I really suspect this incarnation of that is maybe a little too absurd to get to the horror across over the initial juvenile snicker/gross-out. The pubic hair opening is all juvenile snickering and doesn't put the reader in the right frame of mind. Can you think of an alternate way to convey the protagonist's issues?
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Mar 27, 2018 16:03
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| # ¿ May 22, 2024 07:33 |
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