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Hey guys. I wrote a thing and actually like it. This is an indication that it is bad. Tell me how bad! I will also critique anything that you guys will let me lay my eyes on. I need practice with that sort of thing. https://docs.google.com/document/d/174Ql4FE9fITbGmYT1IJsWGLnL8oHs_DOGhuOLD9mikc/edit?usp=drivesdk
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Aug 22, 2018 02:03
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| # ¿ May 22, 2024 08:20 |
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My sincere thanks to Exmond for the crits on that story. Everything you wrote was concise and to the point. Now I gotta hit the revising board. It's funny because a couple of the paragraphs that you pointed out as being clunky and difficult to parse seemed fine to me until you pointed them out. Now I wonder how the hell I ever allowed that poo poo to get on the page. Thanks!Exmond posted:Is this a full story? A start of a story? Just free-form writing, or is it flash fiction? This is like a piece of something serialized I was working on. I'm trying my hand at world building by setting all my stories in the same place. So it's a full story, in and of itself, but also a piece of something bigger I'm kinda hashing out in my mind. I'm trying to show this city from a number of different eyes before throwing a single "superhero" in there to gently caress everything up. AllNewJonasSalk fucked around with this message at 23:09 on Aug 22, 2018 |
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Aug 22, 2018 22:20
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I can definitely see everywhere that I need to either tighten or rethink the way I get the ideas on the page. It's funny that you should mention it having a noirish detective like feel because a day before I wrote this I wrote a sorta graphic story about a detective in a gunfight with a meth dealer. I like that vibe of good guys with problems and terrible chain-smoking habits (I may have a flimsy grasp on what constitutes noir). The major takeaway I'm getting is that my plot is barebone. It makes sense as I've always struggled with the writing of plot. I'm a no outline kind of guy and it shows! Time to rejigger this thing. I have a proper idea of what I can do with it now. Thanks for that.
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Aug 23, 2018 03:22
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