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There's more action in the first chapter then all of RPO put together.
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Apr 5, 2018 14:24
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Renegret posted:I'm so excited for the amazing plot twist which reveals that Grant is actually A Bad Guy. Or as he's dying with his last breath he will admit he's come around and now reluctantly has to admit that our protagonist is just the greatest.
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Apr 10, 2018 15:30
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This book at the very least gets points for having things happen that are not immediately solved by the protagonist downloading a strategy guide, repeated for the entirety of the book.
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Apr 10, 2018 20:50
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can vampires eat regular food like do they swing through the tacobell drive through at 11:30pm hungry for $1 nacho cheese fries if yes then why do you never see fat vampires
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Apr 12, 2018 18:39
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Vampires aren't a federally protected employment discrimination class so its perfectly acceptable whenever you want to fire them.. full of bullets
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Apr 12, 2018 19:01
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If the sharks eat the wight and ghoul meat in the water does it paralyze them? if so then I think that means shooting vampires on a boat is racist against sharks
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Apr 13, 2018 18:25
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sky shark posted:Killing vampires? Literally Hitler. What if hitler was a vampire? is it still racist to shoot him
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Apr 13, 2018 20:02
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Is shooting a vampire more or less racist than shooting a werewolf
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Apr 14, 2018 06:41
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Renegret posted:You don't have to what if this book is actually pro-vampire propaganda
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Apr 16, 2018 16:58
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If an orc becomes a vampire does that make it double racist if you shoot it
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Apr 17, 2018 18:27
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Woah Pitt's been getting a lot of action the last few days. First he touched his crush's mom's vampire butt, and then his crush held his hand and gave him a kiss. Looks like everything's coming up Pitt.
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May 7, 2018 16:46
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The best part of the book so far has been the beginning when we were watching a random mountain-sized accountant fight a werewolf to the death in an office.
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May 7, 2018 19:28
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When's the handbook for mortals sequel coming out? I need to find out what happens next in the world of magick from new york times best selling author Lani salem.
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May 8, 2018 16:45
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Maybe Julie is just mad her vampire mom keeps stealing her boyfriends so she's decided to get as many as possible to confuse her mom.
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May 10, 2018 14:07
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Grant has definitely joined the bad guys because its been less than a day and julie is already all over Pitt.
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May 10, 2018 15:57
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JUST MAKING CHILI posted:Bad guys as in the vampires or bad guys as in the Gub Mint. Probably the government so grant can appear again in later books and pitt can rub it in his face how julie totally loves him now because he's the best
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May 10, 2018 18:30
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Zereth posted:I like how the better trained and better equipped feds are outperformed by this group of random assholes most of whom only even started training like, a couple weeks ago now I think? Its because their morale was so high from singing camp songs and making fun of the feds earlier in the swamp! quote:"I love you, Julie," I shouted as my slide locked back empty and I went for another mag. Imagine that being the last thing you ever say
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May 15, 2018 15:21
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I think RPO's romance subplot might actually be less terrible than this book's. They both had the love interest girl do a sudden 180 for no reason. But at least RPO's took place over the time of like 6 month. MHI happened in just a few weeks and suddenly julie loves Pitt and those are her dying words even though her boyfriend is still around somewhere.
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May 15, 2018 16:10
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As Julie lays dying in the swamp muck being torn apart by interdimensional aliens, her final words are "gently caress you mom, I kissed him last."
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May 15, 2018 16:15
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Im going to root for grant despite him probably joining the vampires or the Big Dumb Gov'nment because he hasn't actually done much wrong in this book other than I guess hating on the stupid nerd who won't stop fawning over his girlfriend.
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May 15, 2018 16:20
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This threat to all of time and space will be solved by one final challenge between the dark lord and Pitt. The final challenge will coincidentally come in the form of auditing a tax return, thereby showing that Pitt was indeed the chosen one after all.
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May 15, 2018 18:21
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Renegret posted:Our heroes never stood a chance they didn't even have to face any Ultralisks smh I don't know why they only brought one firebat.
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May 15, 2018 19:15
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I imagine being able to remember every detail of your own death would really mess you up.
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May 16, 2018 14:40
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Blargthrax the Blight Queen: Destroyer of a Thousand Worlds, sighed as she was forced to re-vaporize an entire civilization because an insignificant creature somewhere was messing around with time again.
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May 16, 2018 15:11
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Even though the whole book is leading up to this final big interdimensional cthulu battle, all this stuff seems really out of place. The first half of this book is about a group of regular people finding out vampires and zombies are real. A few chapters later they're time traveling and battling aliens from another reality. It just doesn't feel like it matches up with the original tone of the book.
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May 17, 2018 15:23
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"This time you can touch my butt, just like you touched my mom's vampire butt".
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May 18, 2018 15:34
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[25/F] My BF [25/M] of 10 hours cheated on me with my mom [immortal/F] submitted 2 minutes ago by nosferasstumom I'm sorry if this is jumbled, I'm on my phone and in total shock right now. I love (well, loved) my mum to bits, she's done so much for me and sacrificed everything so I could have a good education and a happy life. I met my boyfriend when we started working together. I love (again; well, loved) him with all my heart. I truly believed we would be together forever. We started working together one month ago and our relationship has been practically perfect since then. We never fight (except over my ex), and he makes me feel like a princess everytime I'm with him. This morning I woke up and went to have a shower. On my way to the shower I heard my mom's voice (who I haven't seen in years because she died) coming from his room and I honestly could not believe what I was hearing. MY mum was saying something along the lines of: "I hope your morning wood is as good as the wood they try to stake me with  ." Obviously I freaked out and went into his room and my mom was there and she was a vampire now. They had been basically having sex. Once I saw them I pulled out my gun and put a ton of bullets into her. She laughed at me and flew away.I have no idea what to do. These were the two most important people in my life. I have pretty much no friends here, everyone I know is just a coworker. I'm so heartbroken. Every time I think of my BF all I see is him touching my mom's butt. Please help me. tl;dr - BF almost hooked up with my undead mother
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May 18, 2018 18:47
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All the oomph has completely left this book now that its become a generic good vs evil thing.
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Jun 12, 2018 14:28
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Renegret posted:This book would be so much better if it just never changed from the first chapter and was just about a completely average actuary who's desperately trying to get their reports submitted on time but these gosh dang werewolves keep putting him behind schedule. "You're over the tax turn-in deadline, and I'm here to fix that" *bashes a werewolf in the head with a 10 key calculator*
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Jun 12, 2018 18:31
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chitoryu12 posted:Or make the book the same, but have him just be a regular accountant instead of an accountant who's also a street fighter and world-class marksman the size of a refrigerator. A regular person trying to come to grips with the reality of suddenly having to fight the stuff of nightmares would be much more interesting than pitt who somehow has been training his entire life for a job that nobody knows exists
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Jun 12, 2018 18:39
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Poor Grant, never actually did anything wrong and now everyone hates him.
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Jun 15, 2018 15:06
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This means that all of Julie's recent boyfriends have gotten some embracing from her mom. Girl can't catch a break.
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Jun 15, 2018 18:58
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I guess Correia reaaaally didn't expect much from his readers to need to slowly and in great detail explain THE PROPHECY like that.
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Jun 18, 2018 21:09
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How the heck is there a whole series of these books
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Jun 21, 2018 13:47
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There's something funny about writing a self-insert character who's incredibly dumb and has to have things slowly explained to him in great detail.
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Jun 22, 2018 14:05
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Internet Wizard posted:And then after he saves the world by watching other people do all of the work, he murders an unarmed and potentially innocent man in cold blood. It makes sense that regular dude would be okay killing monsters but it seems strange that pitt has absolutely no hesitation about killing another person. And I presume, but could be wrong, that he's never killed another person before.
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Jun 22, 2018 14:26
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Renegret posted:UGHHHHHHHHH
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Jun 27, 2018 14:30
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