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TrashMammal
Nov 10, 2022

bodum is pretty good if you aren’t some kind of ham handed break stuff beast

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Biplane
Jul 18, 2005

A glass that can hold coffee is forbidden archaeotech in america. Esoteric knowledge sequestered by the machine cultists of silicon valley.

Waste of Breath
Dec 30, 2021

I only know🧠 one1️⃣ thing🪨: I😡 want😤 to 🔪kill☠️… 😈Chaos😱… I need🥵 to. [TIME⏰ TO DIE☠️]
:same:

RPATDO_LAMD posted:

a borosilicate glass/"pyrex" coffee mug sounds pretty neat actually
i know there's a brand of pourover coffee maker that makes em outta that, not sure where it falls on the pretentious to practical scale though

Chemex, as pretentious as any pourover is I guess

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Waste of Breath posted:

Chemex, as pretentious as any pourover is I guess

Over dry ice???

Leon Sumbitches
Mar 27, 2010

Dr. Leon Adoso Sumbitches (prounounced soom-'beh-cheh) (born January 21, 1935) is heir to the legendary Adoso family oil fortune.





Waste of Breath posted:

Chemex, as pretentious as any pourover is I guess

I mean they sell them at every coffee shop, I'm not sure what's pretentious about that?

Cognac McCarthy
Oct 5, 2008

It's a man's game, but boys will play

People think pourover coffee is pretentious even though it's easier to use than a Mr. Coffee

Waste of Breath
Dec 30, 2021

I only know🧠 one1️⃣ thing🪨: I😡 want😤 to 🔪kill☠️… 😈Chaos😱… I need🥵 to. [TIME⏰ TO DIE☠️]
:same:
I use a Chemex to be clear lmao

Khanstant
Apr 5, 2007

Cognac McCarthy posted:

People think pourover coffee is pretentious even though it's easier to use than a Mr. Coffee

Lol why you lying. I just looked it up and you have to book your own water and then stand there and pour water slowly into the thing. It's way easier to put water in Mr. And then a fistful of coffee grounds into the thingy and flip the switch. Coffee is done in like whenever you remember to check and you can switch it off and have Day Old n Cold in the pot for tomorrow.

Cognac McCarthy
Oct 5, 2008

It's a man's game, but boys will play

I have never once made coffee using a Mr. Coffee without spilling water everywhere. Those things are not designed well. And you don't really have to stand there and pour the water all that slowly, if you're just making a cup or two you can pretty much just dump the water in the filter with the coffee and walk away.

Also "boil your own water", you just use the tea kettle you've already got

RPATDO_LAMD
Mar 22, 2013

🐘🪠🍆
americans dont have electric kettles

Cognac McCarthy
Oct 5, 2008

It's a man's game, but boys will play

I'm American, and I have an electric kettle :iiam:

RPATDO_LAMD
Mar 22, 2013

🐘🪠🍆
me too

DerekSmartymans
Feb 14, 2005

The
Copacetic
Ascetic

RPATDO_LAMD posted:

americans dont have electric kettles

Why would you need an electric teakettle when the only real tea worth drinking is Iced Tea?

Cognac McCarthy
Oct 5, 2008

It's a man's game, but boys will play


nice

R.L. Stine
Oct 19, 2007

welcome to dead gay dog house
i have a very rare antique stove top cast iron kettle with an enamel interior i bought on amazon for $15

sugar free jazz
Mar 5, 2008

Cognac McCarthy posted:

I have never once made coffee using a Mr. Coffee without spilling water everywhere. Those things are not designed well. And you don't really have to stand there and pour the water all that slowly, if you're just making a cup or two you can pretty much just dump the water in the filter with the coffee and walk away.

Also "boil your own water", you just use the tea kettle you've already got

ur fuckin disgusting

Dang It Bhabhi!
May 27, 2004



ASK ME ABOUT
BEING
ESCULA GRIND'S
#1 SIMP

DerekSmartymans posted:

Why would you need an electric teakettle when the only real tea worth drinking is Iced Tea?

PG Tips is fine and is sold in stores in God's America.

Pennywise the Frown
May 10, 2010

Upset Trowel

Khanstant
Apr 5, 2007

Cognac McCarthy posted:

I have never once made coffee using a Mr. Coffee without spilling water everywhere. Those things are not designed well. And you don't really have to stand there and pour the water all that slowly, if you're just making a cup or two you can pretty much just dump the water in the filter with the coffee and walk away.

Also "boil your own water", you just use the tea kettle you've already got

I just make a full Mr and drink that till it's gone. If you've mastered pouring boiling water into a little deal I'm pretty sure you can manage dumping a coffee pot of water into a huge plastic chamber. Plus if water gets everywhere, so what, it's water. The same stuff you could use to clean everything it got on. Water is just soap you can drink.

Coffee is still good old and cold too, up until it gets fuzzy on top then it sucks so put it in an old milk bottle you got because it was pretty funny they had milk in a glass bottle at winco and then in the fridge imo.

TrashMammal
Nov 10, 2022

but i can make whatever hot drinks i want all day long by pushing the button on my water boiler, and it plays happy little tunes whenever it adjusts to whatever temperature i want

Tweak
Jul 28, 2003

or dont whatever








I put ice in my chemex then pour the hot water over the grounds. It’s great for when I forgot to steep cold brew over night.

I also have a drip coffee maker I dont use anymore, but my relatives appreciate it when they want a cup after dinner

well why not
Feb 10, 2009




I make a pour over every morning, it takes approximately 4 minutes and makes 3 - 4 cups. It is simply beyond belief.

That said we have a digitally controlled grinder and a ceramic pour over set.

Xiahou Dun
Jul 16, 2009

We shall dive down through black abysses... and in that lair of the Deep Ones we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory forever.



So where’s the French press in the great hierarchy of pretentiousness?

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

lol coffee

RPATDO_LAMD
Mar 22, 2013

🐘🪠🍆
well if you're the kind of sicko who leaves it in the pot and drinks miserable cold 3 day old coffee for breakfast a french press will be no good since just letting it sit in the press with the grounds still inside will cause more and more acid to leech into the coffee over time

easier / less work than a pourover though, you just dump the water in, leave it a bit then come back later

TrashMammal
Nov 10, 2022

Xiahou Dun posted:

So where’s the French press in the great hierarchy of pretentiousness?

nothing more pretentious than french people

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

I brew a pot of fresh coffee, and then remove it from heat ASAP.
And let cool.
Then put in the fridge overnight.
Then pour over ice and make an iced coffee. It's delicious.
Small pour of vanilla muscle milk, small pour of whole milk, small pour of coffee milk.

Stir and serve in frozen coffee glass.

syntaxfunction
Oct 27, 2010

TrashMammal posted:

nothing more pretentious than french people

Someone who isn't French but *really* wishes they were and tells everyone they are.

Thesaurus
Oct 3, 2004


Y'all need to head over to r/espressocirclejerk :coffee::fap:

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

In the run up to Gulf War 2 back in 2003 I watched French nightly news because it was on my cable package and god drat did I love it. Just ripping on America every night, for real, and then you turn to even MSNBC and they are like "THE BRAVE AMERICAN WARRIOR ADVANCES THE CAUSE OF FREEDOM!"

R.L. Stine
Oct 19, 2007

welcome to dead gay dog house
i am allowed to call myself french and no, french people are worse

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

R.L. Stine posted:

i am allowed to call myself french and no, french people are worse

They could spot naked American aggression covered in lies, circa 2003, I tell you what.

TrashMammal
Nov 10, 2022

redshirt posted:

They could spot naked American aggression covered in lies, circa 2003, I tell you what.

you know how everyone has that one friend that used to be cool, maybe you even looked up to them a little bit, but now they just disappoint everyone whenever they open their mouth? that’s what we are to france

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

TrashMammal posted:

you know how everyone has that one friend that used to be cool, maybe you even looked up to them a little bit, but now they just disappoint everyone whenever they open their mouth? that’s what we are to france

We should be the best of friends, life long allies.....

well why not
Feb 10, 2009




USA / Americans pretending that France are cowardly and meek, when they conquered Europe like four times and riot at the drop of a hat, is some pure strain boneheaded American exceptionalism.

Reddit, naturally, is all about the “cheese eating surrender monkeys” stuff, as if the USA has not lost like 4 wars against small countries despite doing mad war crimes at every term. On the same topic, pretty rich for Americans to criticise a country for their cheese intake.

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

well why not posted:

USA / Americans pretending that France are cowardly and meek, when they conquered Europe like four times and riot at the drop of a hat, is some pure strain boneheaded American exceptionalism.

Reddit, naturally, is all about the “cheese eating surrender monkeys” stuff, as if the USA has not lost like 4 wars against small countries despite doing mad war crimes at every term. On the same topic, pretty rich for Americans to criticise a country for their cheese intake.

Indeed. But you'll remember, right? I was on the French side....

TrashMammal
Nov 10, 2022

redshirt posted:

We should be the best of friends, life long allies.....

yes indeed


redshirt
Aug 11, 2007


Yes, this is the kind of history we should be teaching

R.L. Stine
Oct 19, 2007

welcome to dead gay dog house
when americans think of france theyre actually thinking of paris and when they think of paris they think of breathless and bande a part and ratatouille or whatever the gently caress. but it's just a big city and big cities mostly kinda suck no matter where

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redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

R.L. Stine posted:

when americans think of france theyre actually thinking of paris and when they think of paris they think of breathless and bande a part and ratatouille or whatever the gently caress. but it's just a big city and big cities mostly kinda suck no matter where

I chuckle at the idea of a French Chud, living in the south of France, tilling like 20 acres of grapes.....

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