Star Wars: a cool dude in a black cloak and helmet and his name is Star Wars

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > Cinema Discusso > Star Wars: a cool dude in a black cloak and helmet and his name is Star Wars

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banned from Starbucks: Jul 18, 2004

When he's with cheewie shouldn't he be Han Duo?

# ¿ May 11, 2018 20:39

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# ¿ May 10, 2024 02:36

banned from Starbucks: Jul 18, 2004

Chewies just a big ewok, a Neanderthal. 3P0 is shiny gold and hairless. The sun god

# ¿ May 13, 2018 19:16

banned from Starbucks: Jul 18, 2004

Timby posted:

The three-parties-acting-at-once third act thing didn't work in Jedi, and I really dislike how it informed some of the movies that followed. Like, in Phantom Menace there was the lightsaber fight, the Naboo fight and the star war, in Force Awakens there was a similar structure. The constant cutting to Endor kills the tension.

disagree

# ¿ May 15, 2018 09:31

banned from Starbucks: Jul 18, 2004

Is making GBS threads on RLM still the cool SA thing to do for some reason?

# ¿ May 15, 2018 20:32

banned from Starbucks: Jul 18, 2004

thrawn527 posted:

Han not believing in the Force even though he was alive when they were around has come up in the main thread a lot, but first off, not everyone would have met a Jedi. In a literal galaxy's worth of people, there were a pretty small number of Jedi, so it's perfectly believable plenty of people would have never come across one. And hearing that there are these monk cops running around who can perform weird "magic" tricks doesn't mean you suddenly believe in their religion. Knowing about these monk cops when you're a kid might seem "hokey" when you look back on it as an adult.

Does TV not exist in the star wars universe? Or cameras? Or any kind of recorded history? Like I've never seen a lot of things in person but I know they exist. Also there's gotta be a ton more force users out there than just Jedi since the Jedi themselves straight up admit once you're past a certain age they just don't care about bringing you into the fold. The idea that Han never saw TMZ footage of a Jedi slicing off a dude's head on space tv is kinda dumb

# ¿ May 17, 2018 20:57

banned from Starbucks: Jul 18, 2004

thrawn527 posted:

If he did see that, why would that make him believe "there’s one all-powerful Force controlling everything", which is what he said he doesn't believe. He never said Jedi didn't exist, just that "no mystical energy field controls my destiny". If he saw a Jedi do something weird, why would he suddenly believe they had the right view about their religion? And not just that it was "all a lot of simple tricks and nonsense."

He literally lives with a guy who fought alongside one of the most powerful force users ever. This isnt the Loch Ness monster, everyone around the galaxy knows about the force.

# ¿ May 17, 2018 21:31

banned from Starbucks: Jul 18, 2004

thrawn527 posted:

Luke: “The Force?”

It's almost as if his uncle keeping him away from such things was a conscience effort.

# ¿ May 18, 2018 03:46

banned from Starbucks: Jul 18, 2004

The falcon was ok when it was a beat up pile of poo poo. The new iFalcon looks dumb as gently caress.

# ¿ May 19, 2018 11:03

banned from Starbucks: Jul 18, 2004

I forgot about Chewies radio shack headset. Who is he even talking to with those? Hans not wearing any

# ¿ May 21, 2018 05:26

banned from Starbucks: Jul 18, 2004

Drop a moon on chewie. Give him the death he earned 10+years ago

# ¿ May 21, 2018 11:36

banned from Starbucks: Jul 18, 2004

He should have his own movie imo

# ¿ May 23, 2018 01:01

banned from Starbucks: Jul 18, 2004

I always assumed fuel was a thing in the star war. Theres always some mustached guy unhooking a big hose from the X-wings in ANH and R1 before they take off. My interpretation was it was supposed to be space gas.

# ¿ May 24, 2018 05:20

banned from Starbucks: Jul 18, 2004

Handen posted:

As a child who had no friends because every time I invited someone over to play Masters of Teras Kasi with me I owned the poo poo out of them with Vader's boomerang lightsaber move on endless loop, gently caress you I clapped at that reference and you can suck on these balls.

Seriously. Most ps1 fighting games are uninspired trash but nothing loving beats pile driving luke Skywalker into the ground as a gamorrean guard making pig noises and shooting a swirling ring of fire out your rear end.

# ¿ May 29, 2018 11:31

banned from Starbucks: Jul 18, 2004

Food Boner posted:

cant wait for the lando spinoff

his new robopal will be r2#metoo

# ¿ May 31, 2018 06:38

banned from Starbucks: Jul 18, 2004

Sorry the found footage gimmick is dead and gone

# ¿ Jun 20, 2018 10:15

banned from Starbucks: Jul 18, 2004

it should have been han sleeping with jabbas wife

# ¿ Jul 7, 2018 06:10

banned from Starbucks: Jul 18, 2004

i would watch the poo poo out of a Matthew McConaughey Dash Rendar movie

esp if his costume is his Magic Mike outfit with huge shoulderpads.

# ¿ Jul 8, 2018 10:13

banned from Starbucks: Jul 18, 2004

Lando comes to take the falcon back then peaces out. So long suckers

# ¿ Jul 12, 2018 07:32

banned from Starbucks: Jul 18, 2004

Sounds like a pointless retread of TLJ. "Hey want to see even more ships smash into each other because we're lazy and completely bankrupt of ideas?!"

# ¿ Jan 3, 2019 20:46

banned from Starbucks: Jul 18, 2004

make leia a muppet

# ¿ Jan 4, 2019 03:01

banned from Starbucks: Jul 18, 2004

BravestOfTheLamps posted:

It was incredibly brave and subversive when the heroes of The Last Jedi prioritized their bullshit mission over ending slavery.

The New Republic was juuuuust about to end slavery. Honest. It was like number 1 or 2 on the itinerary....of next year. Then they got blown up.

These movies make no sense. What is the resistance fighting to protect? Slave worlds that cater to the super rich? They havent been able to outlaw slavery in 30 years? Are they setting up the new trilogy to be a prequel reboot where the broom kid is the new Anakin? What the hell are these movies even trying to say?

# ¿ Jan 4, 2019 10:17

banned from Starbucks: Jul 18, 2004

Adventure Poe just loves going on adventures

# ¿ Feb 9, 2019 22:21

banned from Starbucks: Jul 18, 2004

General Dog posted:

TLJ at least tries harder than TFA, I'll give it that. TLJ is desperate (uncomfortably so) to surprise and entertain you; TFA is just "here's your Star Wars you like so much, you loving children, stuff it in your stupid fat face"

TLJ is literally "heres some poo poo from the OT you liked only worse" x10

# ¿ Feb 28, 2019 23:36

banned from Starbucks: Jul 18, 2004

I saw..a space ship..and the main characters.

HOLY poo poo AWESOME TELL ME MORE

# ¿ Mar 7, 2019 21:18

banned from Starbucks: Jul 18, 2004

CelticPredator posted:

You ain’t gonna like what they’ll give you anyway so why do you care lmao

Lol do you seriously get hyped over the revelation that characters from a series are in the sequel? Like what are you even going on about.

# ¿ Mar 8, 2019 00:42

banned from Starbucks: Jul 18, 2004

He not cares so much hes got every poster in this threads opinion of starwars committed to memory.

# ¿ Mar 8, 2019 00:48

banned from Starbucks: Jul 18, 2004

Joe Pesci as the voice of Salacious Crumb

Soundtrack listing:
- Gimme Shelter - The Rolling Stones

# ¿ Apr 1, 2019 21:41

banned from Starbucks: Jul 18, 2004

Bor Gullet loving rules.

# ¿ Apr 9, 2019 08:49

banned from Starbucks: Jul 18, 2004

There Will Be Force
Triumph of the Will of the Force

# ¿ Apr 12, 2019 04:25

banned from Starbucks: Jul 18, 2004

Make her yoda...but like for the woke generation. Get the girl from the slave movie to voice her

# ¿ Apr 22, 2019 03:42

banned from Starbucks: Jul 18, 2004

Taintrunner posted:

Noone's ever really gone.

hahah is this poo poo real?

# ¿ Apr 25, 2019 09:13

banned from Starbucks: Jul 18, 2004

he dick burned off. why he want a buncha thots all hangin off his force nutz 24/7

# ¿ Apr 26, 2019 09:31

banned from Starbucks: Jul 18, 2004

Gonz posted:

https://makingstarwars.net/2019/04/huge-rumor-about-how-the-final-duel-in-star-wars-the-rise-of-skywalker-plays-out/

Kylo + Rey: the power of Skywalker compels you!

# ¿ Apr 28, 2019 13:29

banned from Starbucks: Jul 18, 2004

Han is a doofus. He had the greatest excuse ever for paying jabba late. "Hey bro I just stuck it to the space cops big time making it easier for you to keep doing space crimes." too bad phones or paypal dont exist in star war

# ¿ Apr 30, 2019 05:32

banned from Starbucks: Jul 18, 2004

Angry Salami posted:

"Hey, that's loving great. Not only have you still not paid me, now you've got our entire organization flagged as linked to a terrorist movement. Do we need to explain again that the key to smuggling is keeping a low profile? Being an accessory to the deaths of millions is not a low profile, you idiot!"

Han is an independent contractor not an official member of the Hutt cartel.

# ¿ Apr 30, 2019 08:31

banned from Starbucks: Jul 18, 2004

mastershakeman posted:

I like how that entire vanity Fair article only mentions rose twice, both in past tense from TLJ

And her love interest replacement is another non-white person except this time a primitive using a bow and arrow. What if sexy Chewbacca but less developed , as a new character, I guess

Who gives a poo poo rose is a garbage noncharacter

# ¿ May 23, 2019 10:51

banned from Starbucks: Jul 18, 2004

Oh right. "Heres my magic necklace" and "I love finn for *reasons*" amazing character development

# ¿ May 23, 2019 12:23

banned from Starbucks: Jul 18, 2004

celewign posted:

It's amazing how much of Finn's character was squandered. He could have been a badass stormtrooper commando that switched sides but instead they made him into a janitor. TFA and TLJ even progressively make him dumber and dumber until his character is a total joke.

It also feels kind of racist to me that a major POC character has to be a janitor. Make him a badass trooper with PTSD type character ffs.

I'm convinced the janitor thing is some last minute poo poo they wrote in for the trash compactor joke to work and not actually part of his (whatever minimal) character outline. Otherwise you'd expect some sort of story about how this janitor rose to the position of serving in ultra badass (for some reason that is never shown) Cpt Phasmas unit and directly under Kylo Ren. But nope we just get elite commado who goes full PTSD at the first sign of combat death.

# ¿ May 24, 2019 16:50

banned from Starbucks: Jul 18, 2004

Ammanas posted:

so if the shields were up holdos boat would have bounced off them or something?

I doubt it. Shields dont seem to protect star destroyers or the Falcon from asteroids in Empire.

# ¿ May 25, 2019 02:08

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# ¿ May 10, 2024 02:36

banned from Starbucks: Jul 18, 2004

Doctor Spaceman posted:

Those aren't going at hyperspeed though.

so shields work based on how fast something is crashing into you?

# ¿ May 25, 2019 02:13

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > Cinema Discusso > Star Wars: a cool dude in a black cloak and helmet and his name is Star Wars

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