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EmptyVessel posted:And the difference then between a joke and a not-joke is?   Welcome to the June UKMT, where we're bordering on insane. This is David David Davis'es's plan at the moment.  I figure we're about halfway down the galaxy brain meme on the way to:  (Thanks R. Mute) We've Updated Our Privacy Policy  • Cambridge Analytica files for bankruptcy and Leave.EU is fined £70,000 for breaching electoral law • Boris Johnson reaffirms the UK's commitment to the Iranian nuclear agreement, which is probably worse news for its chances than Trump saying he'll pull out. • Unelected Lords try to ruin Brexit but Theresa May is about to show them what's what by appointing some new remainers. • Kew Gardens opens a new house to place Ken Livingstone in so that he can't embarrass Labour with his Hitler speeches. • Private security guards in the UK have a lower expected lifespan than people born in Afghanistan, as G4 and Serco remain top poo poo gently caress wankers. • There's big storms everywhere, except for Cromer, Gem of the North Norfolk Coast, which remained nice. • Newcastle University creates the first 3D printed human cornea. Teesside University set to respond with first 3D printed parmo. • Days until Brexit Previous Threads: 2018 UKMT May 2018 - Slithers Off Rudd/Say no to hamophobia UKMT April 2018 - A Third World Banana Republic Kleptocracy UKMT March 2018 - Fanfare for the Gammon Man UKMT Feb 18 - Goverment Clowns DTF UKMT January 2018 - ++Knighthood for Loser Clegg++ All Previous Threads (thanks Pesky Splinter) Other Threads of Interest: Europol Thread Scotpol Thread Trainchat Thread Political Cartoons Thread BYOB: UKMT Podcasts: Off the Fence - Brighton based, covering UK & Global topics. Pretty chill and professional peeps. Older 'casts can be found in the PLATFORM B archive. Reel Politik - The Original Leftie Hate Trolls. Check 'em out. We Don't Talk About The Weather - Two cool guys discuss news and other stuff. The UKMT-iest of Podcasts. Desolation Radio - Socialism from a Welsh perspective. Informative hosts. Revolutionary Despatches - Two new guys starting out. Connected & Disaffected - Breezy discussions of lefty social, and historical topics, and news updates. Pretty Good. Trashfuture - Theme of the week style podcast about capitalism and how much it fucks up. Cool podcasters, sometimes working with Reel Politik Agitpod - Owen Jones & Ellie Mae O’Hagan discuss news. Reasons to Be Cheerful - Former Labour leader Ed "Red Ed" Milliband and Geoff Lloyd shoot the poo poo, and discuss general politics. Sometimes with guests. Novara Media - Numerous fluctucating commentators including Matt Zarb-Cousin, Max Shanly, and James Butler among others. Varying topics with guests. [Citations Needed] - Covers the US, focussing on the media, PR, and assorted bullshit. Also some socialist history topics. Very informative. Chapo House Media - More US focused, from a leftist perspective. Basically a US version of Reel Politik, but with better mics. Worth a listen. Reading List: Stop, Thief!: The Commons, Enclosures, And Resistance – Peter Linebaugh Libertarian Communism – Isaac Puente Amestoy At The Café – Malatesta The Method of Freedom – Malatesta In Praise of Idleness – Russell Political Ideals – Russell Declaration – Hardt and Negri Liberalism, a Counter History – Domenico Losurdo God and the State – Bakunin The Conquest of Bread – Kropotkin Imperialism, the Highest Stage of Capitalism – V I Lenin Anarchism and Other Essays – Emma Goldman Social Reform or Revolution – Rosa Luxemburg Violence – Slavoj Zizek Jihad vs. McWorld - Benjamin Barber Flat Earth News - Nick Davies Hack Attack - Nick Davies Ecology of Freedom – Murray Bookchin Anarchism, Marxism and the Future of the Left – Murray Bookchin Let's Read Das Kapital – Karl Marx and Goons Goon CLP Register (thanks feedmegin) quote:I came up with the idea of a register of goons and their CLPs in case any new joiners wanted someone to go to to get the local lie of the land. The Effortpost's Graveyard (thanks goddamnedtwisto) - Collected UKMT Effortposts. Many thanks to the contributing posters. Join us on synIRC for Question Time Awfulness and Stuff #ukgoons on synIRC (thanks crispix). Bored of Deputies Approved Thread Rules quote:1. Delegitimising the state of Israel is antisemitic.  Le Vélocipède Guavanaut fucked around with this message at 09:23 on Jun 1, 2018 |
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Jun 1, 2018 09:14
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greggs is good but their coffee is mediocre
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Jun 1, 2018 09:17
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That Saville photo looks like he's a gym rat who always skips leg daybump_fn posted:greggs is good but their coffee is mediocre All coffee is poo poo hth
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Jun 1, 2018 09:18
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https://twitter.com/ClareHymer/status/1001976800157814789
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Jun 1, 2018 09:19
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Doctor_Fruitbat posted:So, this ten mile-thick border idea; wouldn't that basically be trapping everyone inside it within a very long and narrow encampment? And also require two physical borders sandwiching everything between them, making it at least twice as costly to implement (and twice as unpopular)?
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Jun 1, 2018 09:19
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God I just want the weekend to be now.
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Jun 1, 2018 09:21
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A Buttery Pastry posted:Just like with the Berlin Wall, the entire area has to be depopulated and flattened to ensure maximum visibility for maximum facilitation. This just in: Germany, as head of the EU, has volunteered to police the new Irish 
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Jun 1, 2018 09:24
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Hoping to test drive a car this weekend, so I can drive headlong into the ocean when it all finally gets too much. Then I'm going for Thai, before it is banned in glorious Brexitopia.
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Jun 1, 2018 09:24
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will speed limits in the buffer zone be mph or kmph??
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Jun 1, 2018 09:30
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Kelvin.
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Jun 1, 2018 09:32
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I payed money to get to live on this loving island lmao
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Jun 1, 2018 09:44
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All posters in this thread had better be wearing their legally mandated helmets in preparation for the car crash that is Brexit
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Jun 1, 2018 09:48
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bump_fn posted:I payed money to get to live on this loving island lmao 
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Jun 1, 2018 09:50
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Miftan posted:That Saville photo looks like he's a gym rat who always skips leg day NooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAARGH 
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Jun 1, 2018 09:51
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Rarity posted:All posters in this thread had better be wearing their legally mandated helmets in preparation for the car crash that is Brexit I am revving up my Euromobile to plow into all of you. Best wear helmets and padding.
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Jun 1, 2018 09:54
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This sounds like a terrorism. Reporting u to Sajid Tojás so he can ban cars.
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Jun 1, 2018 09:57
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Guavanaut posted:Kelvin. You mean to prevent them from driving in relativistic speeds? Alternatively idgi
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Jun 1, 2018 10:04
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Okay I was out of things, did David Davis literally propose leaving NI in the EU as his chosen solution?
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Jun 1, 2018 10:04
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Or do you mean they'd heat up from friction 
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Jun 1, 2018 10:05
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Tijuana Bibliophile posted:You mean to prevent them from driving in relativistic speeds? Alternatively idgi I mean you could argue that temperature is a measure of molecular motion.
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Jun 1, 2018 10:08
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Tijuana Bibliophile posted:You mean to prevent them from driving in relativistic speeds? Alternatively idgi Alternatively there will also be a particles moving in a random chaotic fashion when someone tries to blow part of it up. e: ^^ Yeah, what OwlFancier said, but it gives a broad range of speeds because nobody knows what the gently caress is going on at the level of the individual when you're talking Kelvin.
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Jun 1, 2018 10:12
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The border will make Brownian motion look low entropy
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Jun 1, 2018 10:13
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hhrrnnnngggggnoooooooo https://twitter.com/UKandEU/status/1002455405698613248
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Jun 1, 2018 10:13
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Ok can we bring back harry potter politics please I do not like this new replacement.
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Jun 1, 2018 10:16
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Lookin forward to the artillery sown minefield across the Irish DMZ
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Jun 1, 2018 10:19
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It’s the most stupid proposal yet. It’s like the government is having one, long collectivised stroke. It would explain the fixed grins.
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Jun 1, 2018 10:21
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I'm glad the government came round to the idea of supporting a 32 county republic tbh
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Jun 1, 2018 10:22
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OwlFancier posted:Ok can we bring back harry potter politics please I do not like this new replacement. Pesmerga posted:It’s like the government is having one, long collectivised stroke. It would explain the fixed grins.
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Jun 1, 2018 10:23
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I honestly don't know what that leaked proposal actually means - the fact it's a bleeding Sun exclusive isn't really helping on the detail
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Jun 1, 2018 10:23
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Just responding to a post in the last threadquote:Is Scotland big/contested enough that seats won there is likely to counterbalance lost seats elsewhere? I'm pretty sure if labour was able to take seats back from the SNP we'd be the largest party at the next election. Corbyn economics are popular in Scotland but I think the tacit support for brexit is holding us back. I don't think labour would lose seats by opposing brexit because the nutters who want to leave that badly are already voting Tory.
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Jun 1, 2018 10:26
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kustomkarkommando posted:I honestly don't know what that leaked proposal actually means - the fact it's a bleeding Sun exclusive isn't really helping on the detail It’s either non-sensical because it’s The Sun reporting half-heard whispers that it’s failed to understand, or its non-sensors because it’s David Davis uttering half-heard whispers he’s failed to understand. Either way it’s all brain spiders and unworkable idiocy. Edit: Arlene Foster is going to lead an Orange march in Scotland. loving hell. 
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Jun 1, 2018 10:26
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Gonna have a Letterkenny Peace Village, speakers blasting out British pop music on one side and EU trade figures on the other, huge flegs, the works.
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Jun 1, 2018 10:28
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OwlFancier posted:I mean you could argue that temperature is a measure of molecular motion. Guavanaut posted:Kelvin can be used to estimate a distribution of speeds when you're looking at a very large number of objects moving in a random chaotic fashion, which is what the Irish border will look like with the amount of traffic and the amount of thought that has gone into the process. Oh right, I should've got that It's also convenient for the times the speed across the buffer zone approaches 0 K, and to use that same value to describe the relations between the parties which need to agree to make it all happen
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Jun 1, 2018 10:29
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Tesseraction posted:Okay I was out of things, did David Davis literally propose leaving NI in the EU as his chosen solution? Not just in the EU, but also in the UK, with the system based on some microstate that has dual Swiss/EU regulations. One that apparently is a logistical nightmare as they have to have dual whatevers to comply with both Swiss and EU regulations. With the addition of this 10-mile thick "buffer zone*", which is either no-mans-land, or some unworkable location where EU/UK regulations are super ambiguous depending on how many miles in you are. *Not to be confused with the similar word "border"** **It's a loving border. The one thing they knew was unacceptable, they've tried to include as a feature of their plans. Tesseraction posted:hhrrnnnngggggnoooooooo https://twitter.com/UKandEU/status/1002455405698613248 Sooooomebody once told me, the world is gonna own me, DD ain't the sharpest tool in the shed, He was looking kinda glum with his finger and his thumb On the map of Ireland, the shape of an "L" used to represent an unworkable border which no-one is going to be satisfied with ever, as we face-palm our foreheads.
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Jun 1, 2018 10:29
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OwlFancier posted:Ok can we bring back harry potter politics please I do not like this new replacement. Three Little Pigs = Gammons Donkey = Corbyn Dragon = Diane Abbott It's really much more fertile ground for political commentary about Britain than Harry Potter. a pipe smoking dog posted:I'm pretty sure if labour was able to take seats back from the SNP we'd be the largest party at the next election. Corbyn economics are popular in Scotland but I think the tacit support for brexit is holding us back. I don't think labour would lose seats by opposing brexit because the nutters who want to leave that badly are already voting Tory.
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Jun 1, 2018 10:31
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I'm genuinely amazed at how poo poo David Davis is.
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Jun 1, 2018 10:32
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w7J2Nnl7Ano This but it's Nigella Lawson talking about our great UKSA Satellites NELSON and MONTGOMERY that guide our mighty industry from sea to shining sea
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Jun 1, 2018 10:34
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A Buttery Pastry posted:Shrek = BoJo BoJo and Corbyn aren’t friends  Also I can’t wait for what happens in Spain and Italy, this is hilarious. What a lovey day today is 
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Jun 1, 2018 10:35
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That 10 mile buffer zone is going to become the world's biggest lorry park
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Jun 1, 2018 10:37
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Aphex- posted:I'm genuinely amazed at how poo poo David Davis is. I still maintain that he's Not The Worst, he's just dangerously incompetent and has been put in a job that even a highly competent person would struggle at and been told to deliver results that are literally impossible. (Which is in no small part his own fault, but I'd fault BoJo and Pob and Farage and the British press to a greater degree).
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Jun 1, 2018 10:42
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