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UNCUT PHILISTINE
Jul 27, 2006

lol that these guys are still triggering goons left and right

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DicktheCat
Feb 15, 2011

I genuinely wish these guys would just die. Just kill themselves. Not anyone else, just themselves. The world would be better for it.


Then again, I wish the same on most Republicans, so take it with a grain of salt. :shrug:

cardiacarrest123
Apr 10, 2016
stacy, chill. He was drafting. *rolls eyes*

KomodoWagon
May 10, 2013

by R. Guyovich

UNCUT PHILISTINE posted:

lol that these guys are still triggering goons left and right

what a take. well done

cowofwar
Jul 30, 2002

by Athanatos
What is a femoid?

KomodoWagon
May 10, 2013

by R. Guyovich
I think it's like an android with boobs? I dunno, I didn't play Detroit yet.

Skutter
Apr 8, 2007

Well you can fuck that sky high!



When a man leaves our bedroom, we add the Sex Beads to our Bead Hoard, lie down on it and bask in their warmth. Much like dragons in fantasy novels, except we are more lizard-like and evil.

Cubone
May 26, 2011

Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.
lol

HugeGrossBurrito
Mar 20, 2018
Lol if you’ve never drafted a Chad. Walking around like a drat chump.

Kak
Sep 27, 2002

lmao

Dukemont
Aug 17, 2005
chocolate microscopes

UNCUT PHILISTINE posted:

lol that these guys are still triggering goons left and right

you are a moron, with some odd sympathy for incels

Motherfucker
Jul 16, 2011

I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Pick posted:

It's really messed up to me, because in a lot of ways I'm an incel dreamgirl, yet these guys are always super vicious to me and I know if I were to marry one he would beat the poo poo out of me for no reason. :(

mods

Salty Josh
Jul 13, 2016

Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.
Nap Ghost

fruit on the bottom posted:

Actually I should clarify that I have a particular fetish you’ll have to get on board with, which is to feed me Fritos with chopsticks as I watch anime while dressed as Vanna White*

*you, not me**. I almost had a taker once but this ended up being the deal breaker.


**i will be dressed as a cross between Humphrey Bogart and Fat Val Kilmer.

PM me

Vaginal Vagrant
Jan 12, 2007

by R. Guyovich

KomodoWagon posted:

I think it's like an android with boobs? I dunno, I didn't play Detroit yet.

Uh that would be a gynoid, look at this guy without even a basic understanding of ancient Greek.

I learnt it from DnD Sphinx types.

UNCUT PHILISTINE
Jul 27, 2006

Dukemont posted:

you are a moron, with some odd sympathy for incels

I guess I just can't spare the derision for a group that probably shouldn't have been born in the first place :shrug:

Dr. Snuggles
Dec 3, 2012

Tbh some of us (Pick) use this website more than others and I feel that I am unfairly subsidizing picks posting. Unless some kind of fee by post usage is enabled were basically instituting a forced welfare state of posting.
Im really glad that lowtax's brushes with death taught him the importance of making his life about the things that really matter.

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc

uber_stoat posted:

book club. lol. imagine the crazy energy you'd get with a room full of men like this dude.

So basically it's like a ship full of Marines except they're also all horribly out of shape

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc

fruit on the bottom posted:

Lmao Chad gets it.

Salty Josh
Jul 13, 2016

Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.
Nap Ghost
I have sympathy for them. But it seems like they aren't willing to put any effort into their sense of humor, the way they look, or how they talk to women.

Their fault imo.

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

UNCUT PHILISTINE posted:

lol that these guys are still triggering goons left and right
Cut your drat dick, son.

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc
The chads in these stories usually seem like pretty cool dudes

Zelder
Jan 4, 2012

UNCUT PHILISTINE posted:

lol that these guys are still triggering goons left and right

Okay how many posts are we from you coming out as incel

Because that's how this one always plays out

Honky Dong Country
Feb 11, 2015

I just poured an entire pallet of beads onto a girl and not only is she not giving me sex but she's not even digging herself out from under the mountain of beads.

Please advise.

Zelder
Jan 4, 2012

You've killed her, Honky Dong Country

fruity no gay
May 7, 2018

by Cyrano4747
careful with the jokes guys, you're gonna make them become nazis

Honky Dong Country
Feb 11, 2015

God drat it the sex manual didn't mention anything about this.

Instruction Manuel
May 15, 2007

Yes, it is what it looks like!

UNCUT PHILISTINE posted:

I guess I just can't spare the derision for a group that probably shouldn't have been born in the first place :shrug:

Very disrespectful to say this about goons right in our own hallowed forums

Bored
Jul 26, 2007

Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Lowtax posted:

I love how, according to incels, women are all whores yet they refuse to sleep with them... that is strange, considering they're whores. Or at least should be whores, if somebody buys them dinner.

He can't afford the beads. Sandwich artists don't make a lot of bead money.

Jihad Me At Hello
Apr 23, 2002

by FactsAreUseless
Fun Shoe

Dr. Snuggles posted:

Im really glad that lowtax's brushes with death taught him the importance of making his life about the things that really matter.

Are you trying to say this doesn't matter? You make me sick.

Honky Dong Country
Feb 11, 2015

Exactly how many beads am I supposed to insert to receive sex? Because frankly I feel like I over-did this one.

KomodoWagon
May 10, 2013

by R. Guyovich

Honky Dong Country posted:

Exactly how many beads am I supposed to insert to receive sex? Because frankly I feel like I over-did this one.

If you're at the point where beads are being inserted you are already having sex my friend

Salty Josh
Jul 13, 2016

Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.
Nap Ghost

KomodoWagon posted:

If you're at the point where beads are being inserted you are already having sex my friend

Dude. Very clever.

Beet Wagon
Oct 19, 2015





It depends on the Sexual Market Value of the lady you’re trying to bone down with. Pretty sure they’re all required to keep some sort of price range on their body somewhere.

Honky Dong Country
Feb 11, 2015

I just poured three gallons of beads into a vehicle containing a female human but she's clearly not getting my message because she's screaming something about calling the police while her boyfriend menaces me with a tire iron.

Please help me I don't know what I did wrong. Was this the wrong amount of beads???

Honky Dong Country
Feb 11, 2015

I'm never going to be able to return to this drive-in theatre again.

Senior Management
Jul 3, 2011



They should just skip the middle man and put the sex beads straight up their butts. Cram them up there real deep until they find inner peace.

tankadillo
Aug 15, 2006

OXBALLS DOT COM posted:

The chads in these stories usually seem like pretty cool dudes

The boyfriend in this story seems hella cool http://www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/2017/07/14/and-the-creepy-boss-of-the-week-award-goes-to-this-dude-posting-on-reddit/

Bored
Jul 26, 2007

Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Beet Wagon posted:

It depends on the Sexual Market Value of the lady you’re trying to bone down with. Pretty sure they’re all required to keep some sort of price range on their body somewhere.

Yeah. But we hide the market value paperwork in our vaginas, so the incels will never see it anyway.

uber_stoat posted:

me: browsing the beads aisle at Michaels, my turgid dingus' outline clearly visible through my jorts

"bitches love they beads! I am getting LAID TONIGHT, mofos!"



I'm ready :bigtran:

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc

Bored posted:

Yeah. But we hide the market value paperwork in our vaginas, so the incels will never see it anyway.


I'm ready :bigtran:

Clever girl

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Lowtax
Nov 16, 1999

by Skyl3lazer

Dr. Snuggles posted:

Im really glad that lowtax's brushes with death taught him the importance of making his life about the things that really matter.
Something Awful: the place to talk about the things that really matter

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