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ng. please, I just need five minutes. stop appearing in my mind. no, I do not want to think about a specific rat that I saw once and his comically big balls right now. I am trying to calm my mind and recenter myself. please stop slowly creeping in from the left to fill the void where my thoughts used to be. no, do not start spinning 360 degrees like a flat image someone is using the rotate tool on. I admit you are hilarious. is that what you want from me? humor isn't going to help me get ready for this presentation. meditation is. please stop changing colors, variant album covers for Alice In Chains' self titled album style. you are not helping. master trevor at the rec center never prepared me for this. |
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Jun 19, 2018 14:37
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| # ¿ May 20, 2024 06:28 |
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many years of struggle for self mastery later, sitting cross legged in a temple on the top of a mystical meditation mountain, I wait for the guru to unveil the hidden truth. he produced a wood carving of a rat's big balls. *freeze screen, audience laughs and claps, different still images from my life play as the credits roll. final shot is me on my death bed, grimacing with my arms crossed* ---------------- |
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Jun 19, 2018 17:54
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FutonForensic posted:coming soon to a beach store near you lol ---------------- |
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Jun 21, 2018 04:01
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D'ooooooooooooooooooooooohmmmmmmmmmm :3 ---------------- |
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Jun 21, 2018 16:11
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master: what is the sound of one hand clapping? me: *imagining a rat jumping rope and their big balls flopping up to hit their belly when they leap, then smacking the ground with a loud thud when they descend* uh, wait... what? ---------------- |
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Jun 21, 2018 16:46
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me: *looks around furtively, sweating* hey, I mean, what ISN'T the sound of one hand clapping, am I right?
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Jun 21, 2018 16:47
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that wii fit meditation game, except all the distractions are rat nuts.
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Jun 21, 2018 21:25
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Jun 25, 2018 15:12
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| # ¿ May 20, 2024 06:28 |
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*I sit cross legged meditating on the hood of my Dodge Neon, parked off the side of a dirt county road outside of town. Parabola by Tool begins playing on the car stereo as the mushrooms kick in. Soon I feel concentric rings of divine energy radiating off of my body and interlocking with other rings of energy which flow from everything that exists in the universe, forming incomprehensibly complex patterns of life, awareness and existence. Eventually the hoops of energy begin converging in such as way as to give the impression of a constantly replicating set of rat nuts which start above my head and flow downward to mantle my shoulders like a cape. The once lush instrumentation of the song is replaced by a chorus of kazoos. A deep peace settles upon me as I release a long, low fart and try to lean back against the ballsack of the universe. I fall off the car with a muffled thud, sending up a cloud of dust when I do.*
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Jun 25, 2018 15:24
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