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Worthless! They're all so worthless! You saw-read! You know the truth! That it was me-me, my cunning! My planning! That is what won Clan Mors back Pillar City! Not some ugly, pea brained, patchy furred whelp, a half-half wit lunatic! Me! Previous warlords had tried, had run around with their worthless plans, but it was I, the still unappreciated genius that was able to do what no other rat could even dare to attempt!  And what do I see when I read the secret mailings of clan warlords? What do they whisper-squeak to each other, in craven awe-fear? Not of shadow sneaky warlord! No, instead, its how Queek Headtaker, with his stupid weapons charged into Pillar City and slaughtered the big things within! How he slashed and gnashed like rabid-thing, and tore the war boss of the Moon Gits to shreds before the eyes of the entire clan! He only did it because I ordered it, I deemed him barely suitable to the task-job, and yet these fool-rats act like he did it with but his two paws alone!  I'll have my revenge on these renegade-scum, on each one! Traitor rats too stupid to know they're even traitors! Perhaps it is simple testament to my forgery, or to their idiocy, that they don't notice how keen and brilliant their orders have been, but rather than wonder about that, its Queek, Queek, raugh! At this rate, they'll be no credit left for me to take-take! So... I have new plan. An even more cunning, brilliant one! And decisively executed! I only came up with it three days ago, and behold, already, my machination-plots breeds results!  Yes-yes! I can see the shock in your face, to see an elf-thing here! But that only shows how many steps-leaps ahead I am of you! It is that elf-slave that had been among the beardling dwellings. A most cunning-sneaky spy he must be, none of the dwarf-thing captives couldn't-wouldn't even recognize him as a creature of importance. Other rats were fooled, thought he was only good as slave-meat, thought there was no way a powerful elf could be found in pub-den in a destitute dwarf-thing outpost, but not I-I! See-see, man-thing, I know much about elfs-things, from reading grey seer letters. And I know, many things, enough so elf-fool will be useful part of my plans. How can I be so sure, you ask? Well allow me to educate-teach you. Firstly! All elf-things are powerful-strong wizards! They try to hide it, but I know; how else could island they live on fly in sky, unless everything on it was magic? Impossible! Too heavy, no wings, would fall otherwise. Simple-simple deduction. Second-two, they're all sneaky-spy things; they can cover up how magic they are, and they act like they all fight each other for many dozen-dozen years, but thats because they are fool-tricking everyone! Clearly to hide a vast plan-conspiracy! Thirdly, and most-first important, they're like weak beard-things and man-things, in that they believe that if someone does a "favor" for them, they have to do a "favor" back! I think-guess its because they dumb and think they might die of curse-spell if they don't. Its very-much pathetic.  So, I saved this magic elf-thing with sneaky letter, saved his hide from becoming slave-fodder, so it think-believe it owes me much! I don't ask-beg for anything now-yet, but I know I can get elf to curse-blight Queek and Gnawdwell to make their weapons break and whiskers wilt, and summon his elf-friends to kill-slay all the fool-things that will try to stop me from ruling Clan Mors! Perfect plan, unstoppable! But thats for later-while. I must see to more distractions that worthless fool-minions can't fix on their own... The stench of rot-decay at City of Pillars is too much for many weak-stomached skaven to stand. Already, the numbers of clanrats is only increasing half as fast as before, so many of them are becoming corpse-fodder. For some reason, our army-pack isn't impacted at all by this sickness. Which is good-blessing; already stupid green-scum have come crawling back to try to take back their stinky hovels. Or, whats left of the green-things; many of them starved out in fields, because they're homeless! Ha!  Meek Deadfaker tries to steal credit-glory again! He ambushed one of the Moony Gits armies. The smaller one, of course. Queek bragged-lied about his "lightning-quick strike" ability, but it proves to be worthless; even simple warlord knows that best quick strike is perfect skaven ambush!  W-what this? New orders from Warlord Gnawdwell... sending an order to Queek, to attack the big green wagh? I, urghk, w-what? Is Gnawdell's brain-matter being eaten by worm-things?  B-but to defy this order, it might make Gnawdwell suspicious. Too early to do so! Maybe plan isn't so bad, with some adjustment. After all, h-how hard can it be to kill more green things?  W-while his back is turned-weak? Is that t-true? Does that make it easy-simple?  ...  Too risky to let letter exist. Clearly plot by sneaky Gnawdwell, order so stupid other rats would think its a trick! I'm too cunning to fall for such a stupid-clever trick! We kill other green-things instead! The larger Moon Traitor army comes back-back, but now more skaven have arrived to make them all die-die! This time I'll make sure Queek gets NO credit, no mistakes!  MUTINOUS GITS LAST STAND VIDEO: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INm-a_XQ23E(thankfully shorter) Battle Summarized:   Rrrgh, certain-sure now that Credittaker will now be able to act like killing goblin-thing mattered at all. I can't just remove-banish him from command, all rats know Gnawdwell would never do that to his little pet-project. But can't take-control Mors while that lunatic-moron is around to try to steal command from me! Best chance is while he thinks my orders are from his master. Elf-curses too slow, still can't even get elf to cast them, need something faster, need it now-now! Now all Mooned Gits are dead-gone! Another rival destroyed by my paws, my schemes! All who hear my name should fear-tremble!  Weak assassin ChickenWing managed to learn new tricks; maybe he learn how to not be hit-struck, maybe then he actually do something and not be worthless flea food!  But now new problems come-arrive. Even with Pillar City taken, warptokens and food are slowly draining away. Wasteful, indolent Mors-kin need more land, more space to grow and take from! Army too scared-craven when they don't know Clan will have food for them when they come back from battle. Its only a slow leak but Mors cannot let itself weaken, become another's prey!   So, where should Mors skitter-spread now? Claw-packs are up north, but up north is Grimgor and his horde-army, and it is foolish to try betray-kill them until we get more plunder to use to build stronger forces. Worse-worse, quick-march upwards has left many-weak rivals near our main warrens: if they try to turn on us while we were busy, only thing left to defend headquarters of Mors is army of slave-chaff lead by some fool-seer. No-no, answer is clear! Mors will march south-down!  And who is first to fall? All are weak prey, but some corpses are more nourishing to gnaw upon. Dead things in big sandy land have tomb-junk, some worth taking, but big area and little to eat means a slow fight. Can also steal access to port-warrens, maybe first step in new grand-plan? But not what I, what Mors needs now. More dead things to our east, and also lizard-fools; read of shiny towers and swamp food, good reason as any to kill-devour hated scalies that keep things from us. But directly south of our main warrens are more dwarf scum, and those dwarf scum are now alone, with no friend-fodder to protect themselves with. They think our no-fight pact makes them safe from us... typical dirt-crawler stupidity to think that is enough to guard their warren-mines!  With those orders to move south sent, there is still time to make adjustments, to shuffle our pawns around. Dumb Metal Host in east are worthless allies! And yet treaty-pact we have means we are supposed to help them fight? They rot in badlands while tomb-things are at their warrens! They did nothing to further our war-plans, are we are supposed to care-think of them because they think we are friends? Because they trust Mors clan?  Ha! No more!  In fact, no treaties with you! Idiot! All treaties cancelled!  Idiot brain rotters! No treaty with the worthless-weak ought to be respected! Mighty skaven have no need of you, so-so mighty skaven will watch you fall!  Zero Seer's army will stay and guard Pillar City, but Mors strongest army still have time-while to get here. Hrmm.  Hrmmm... Queek fool moving through former dwarf lands. Letters say dwarf things still hiding in area, say they somehow have Queek's gouger? Fool-rat doesn't deserve it anyways!  And... maybe I don't need elf-thing magic after all... when a simple courier-bait, carrying letter-details of Queek's movements, being caught by beard-pawns will suffice! Queek may hate beard-things, but beard-things would do anything to kill Queek!  Good-smart plan! Can't possibly fail! Worthless elf-thing hasn't made Queek's tail wilt with elven magic despite all my clever hint-requests... elf just sits with dumb-stinky pipe in middle of floor all day, while Queek continues to steal glory! Instead, I-I will make Queek's tail wilt, on his rotting-dead corpse! Stupid dwarf things, stupid Queek thing, all just there for me to use-control! With courier-fool sent to run through dwarf-thing lairs, one last thing to do. Snake fondling dead-thing was happy to hear Mors threw away friend-pact with idiot counts, so now we make new treaty-pact with it! Stronger allies, more useful to Mors, and more respectful of our might!  Treaty pact may not last. Desert lands are rich-valuable, much to take from them. And snake-things are scary and gross! They writhe and hiss and bite and erugh! Stomp their little heads, no more wriggling!  No response from Queek army, must mean minion-bait was caught! Dwarf things are sure to attack Queek, even beard things know that if they sneak-strike they'll kill the Headtaker scum dead! Oh joyous, perfect, perfect day!   Much risk-danger, of course. Dwarf-things finding a skaven army, dwarf things managing to pull off a perfect ambush? If they find dead courier, or worse, a not-dead courier, even stupid Queek might find out what happened. So, I ask-tell elf-thing to put death curse on Queek to make sure he die-dies. Then I order-tell. Still, elf-thing just sits there! Why won't you cast your magic spells, elf?! Why won't you summon your fairy-dragons?! Your mighty giant-birds!?  Can you say-speak words!? What is this!? What is-is this supposed to mean?! Do you know what will happen if Queek lives? To ME?! Your SAVIOR-FRIEND!?  This is most you've done in weeks and its still dumb-stupid! Worthless, stupid, idiot- What kind of elf-thing ARE you!?  ... ... addict-elf actually might not be powerful magic sneaky spy. Might be other things.  Ambush-plan better work. Might be bad if it doesn't. Might be much-bad. ps: thanks for all the nice words, everyone Tiler Kiwi fucked around with this message at 11:34 on Aug 20, 2018 |
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Aug 20, 2018 11:26
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Holy poo poo please retire and post for our entertainment for the rest of your life. You realise you've killed this LP stone dead right? Nobody is going to step up to this bar now.
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Aug 20, 2018 12:06
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A perfect summary of Rat-Elf relations, I am speechless. Tiler, are you an actual Skaven IRL?
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Aug 20, 2018 12:40
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probably smell as bad as one, heyooooooo
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Aug 20, 2018 12:50
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if only the game had ratling guns 
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Aug 20, 2018 13:14
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You wanted a High Elf advisor, you got a High Elf advisor dohohohohohohohoho EDIT: 
CommissarMega fucked around with this message at 13:47 on Aug 20, 2018 |
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Aug 20, 2018 13:44
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This is the best LP thread ever.
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Aug 20, 2018 15:47
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Glad to see Squigglevision return as an artform.
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Aug 20, 2018 16:14
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Mordja posted:Glad to see Squigglevision return as an artform. The elf is voiced by H. Jon Benjamin. Shame he had no lines.
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Aug 20, 2018 21:31
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This is the best LP. "OI! You knowz how many gitz youz krumped in youze loife!?"
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Aug 20, 2018 21:46
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The JoJo Grimgor is the best thing ever 
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Aug 21, 2018 00:17
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You sir have won the Game.
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Aug 21, 2018 06:16
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Hang on, I thought I already did the Dwarf Gouger quest battle?
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Aug 22, 2018 13:27
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SirPhoebos posted:Hang on, I thought I already did the Dwarf Gouger quest battle? I don't have anything particularly witty to say in reply except, uh, I guess you didn't do it? Because I'm 100% sure I did it, and have a recording of me doing it, and so on and so forth.
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Aug 22, 2018 15:39
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Maybe one of you did Warp Shard Armor instead and mistook it for Dwarf Gouger.
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Aug 22, 2018 19:53
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Well it doesn't matter regardless, my best guess is that I uploaded the wrong save file
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Aug 22, 2018 23:54
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I'm planning to have the last update done on the 26th or some time around then, but to tide people over / give my arm a bit of a rest tho I'm could take a bit longer and write up an intern update to focus on some mechanical things to tide over folk. My current plan would be to either go over skaven units and their roles / strengths / drawbacks, or I can talk about skill choices in leveling lords and what is/isn't terribly effective. But I am willing to rant on anything, so if you're more a fan of those kind of LP updates, boy howdy here's your chance to get some twenty five hundred word essay on whatever video game numbers you wanna hear about!!
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Aug 23, 2018 06:53
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I guess it'd be nice to hear some basic tactics I ought to be using in this game. And I'd definitely like to hear how Skaven units ought to be used as examples.
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Aug 23, 2018 07:40
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Rant on, I hunger for number death.
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Aug 23, 2018 11:35
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Sign me up as a general or assassin or something-something, yes-yes. This is a fantastic campaign.
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Aug 23, 2018 16:35
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The Bold Kobold posted:I guess it'd be nice to hear some basic tactics I ought to be using in this game. And I'd definitely like to hear how Skaven units ought to be used as examples. Throw rats at the enemy. If you lose, you needed more rats.
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Aug 25, 2018 06:06
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Or more war crimes.
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Aug 26, 2018 12:28
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Warhammer Total War 101: Units As a break from me getting real mad at trying to use a tablet instead of a mouse, here's a post for covering some of the basic concepts you'll see in a WTW battle. Now, some of this stuff I'm more or less going to gloss over, but if you want a really long in depth look at dumb math poo poo, don't worry, I've got you covered on that angle as well. So, let's just dive right in by looking at a unit card. The numbers here are kind of out of date and may not actually reflect what you're going to see in game, but I'm feeling lazy as heck so lets just go with it.  So, the humble clanrat. Well, not so humble, but definitely not the first candidate for "top tier line infantry". Lets just go ahead and tear this card up so we can look at it line by line to get an idea what each thing means.  Unit name and general descriptor. The text here is more or less fluff, but it can give you an "at a glance" idea of what the unit is suited for.  Unit size category, unit count, kill count, XP. Skaven, being trash generally, have large unit sizes. Units gain XP via killing things, and gain ranks represented by little chevrons, up to rank 9. Each rank gives bonuses to some stats (leadership, attack/defense, and ranged unit accuracy being the big ones). Unit sizes are either Large, or Small.  Overall unit health. Each "model" in a unit has its own HP pool, tracked individually, dying when it runs out. Low health alone doesn't change the model's performance, so a unit at half HP can sometimes be missing half its models, or still have the majority of its models still around, depending on the circumstances. Generally, however, the overall health is a useful enough barometer for how much oomph the unit has to give in battle. Units can heal as well, via regeneration, magic, or items, with caveats. Some magic cannot restore dead models, and all healing is limited by a regen cap.  Armor gives variable damage reduction. The reduction value is a random percentage value between Armor/2 and Armor, with a maximum of 100% reduction (altho even at 100% reduction a model will still take 1 hp of damage). One result of this formula is that as a units total armor amount increases, each point of armor offers more value in terms of effective health than the last. So this clanrat's 25 armor ends up being worth... not really that much, in terms of providing longevity to this unit. Something not seen here, but seen on some other units, is a shield icon of various colors (  ). This represents a units chance to block incoming missile fire from the front (generally 35% for bronze, 55% for silver). Leadership is morale; when it hits zero, the unit runs from the fight, and may or may not return (broken units can return, shattered units are gone for good). Lots of things can adjust morale, such as having friendly units on your flanks, being flanked, fighting scary things, taking damage, taking a lot of damage in short time, a general dying, and so on. These are all flat maluses/bonuses. Generally, its much more useful to try to break units morale than to try to whittle them down via attrition alone, altho some armies are much more skittish than others. The important thing to note here is that 44 leadership is loving dire for a frontline unit. This is the biggest, most overwhelming weakness (statwise!) of rat armies. By comparison, a dwarf warrior unit has 80 morale.  How quickly a unit covers ground. For something so straightforward, this stat is the one I understand least; theres a lot of things in the game that influence a units speed without giving you feedback in terms of adjusting this number. 42 speed is pretty good for a line infantry unit; baseline for most infantry of their time is around 30.   Melee attack is the chance a unit hits another unit in melee combat. Melee defense counteracts that directly. That chance to hit is (30 + (AttackerMA - DefenderMD)), with a lower bound of 8% and an upper bound of 90%. Since this is yet again a percentage value, the scaling effect I mentioned with armor is in effect. The short takeaway is that, as the chance to hit something falls from 100% to 0% at a linear rate, the effective HP of the defender doubles at 50%, then 25%, then 12.5%, then 6.75%, and so on. The bounds help mitigate the more extreme ends, but it still means that suitably elite units can end up butchering an extremely high number of chaff units. Clanrats have a 54% chance to hit something with 0 melee defense. Which, to be fair, isn't really all _that_ dreadful, especially given their cost. Their melee defense is absurdly bad, but as they actually end up with 24 while over half health due to a trait they possess, its... still pretty freaking bad. This means that despite their high model count, against anything vaguely mid-high tier, they're not going to last.  Weapon strength is how much damage an attack does to an enemy's HP. Its actually two different types of damage, however, regular and armor piercing. Regular gets impacted by armor's damage reduction, AP does not. Anything that buffs a units damage gives regular/ap damage in proportion to their current damage ratio. Clanrats have 20 regular damage and 6 AP damage which is... honestly, pretty par for course for crappy front line infantry. Anything past like, 70-ish armor is going to take like four times as long to kill, but after all the other stats we've seen, its probably one of the lesser terrible things about clanrats, really.  When a unit attacks another unit while running for a sufficient distance, they'll charge in and get a charge bonus, which is a 13 second long buff to melee attack and damage, which decays linearly to nothing over the time span. 12 charge bonus is absolutely nothing to get excited over, but its still worth making sure you charge your rats into combat.  The last things are some icons representing buffs/debuffs a unit possess, both applied and innate. There are an _awful_ lot of these in this game so trying to list them all is futile, so I'll just cover the ones listed here. The eye represents that a unit can hide in forests and some other terrain. The second icon is "Strength in Numbers", a trait found on most (all?) skaven units, which grants 8 melee defense, 6 leadership, and reduces speed to 88% as long as the units health is over 50%. The speed loss is eh, but the other two things are fairly important considerations for rat units, since it means that they're a little better than they first appear, but will fold even harder than other armies units once they pass that health threshold. The last icon is "scurry away", which grants skaven units 112% speed when leadership falls past a certain point. This is actually not such a bad deal for the rats, since it means that when they break, they're harder to get run down by pursuing units, giving them a chance to reform. A vital skill for a skaven leader is making sure to micro these cowards back into combat instead of letting them hang out in a distant forest or wherever they scattered off to. There's more stats and more icons in this game; ranged units have values representing their ranged damage over 5 seconds of fire, and their range/reload speed. Some other icons represent specific types of damage / damage reduction, such as magical and fire damage, and magic/fire/physical/ranged/"ward" resistance. Resistances offer a flat reduction of all incoming damage of that type, and overlapping types are added together (so magical ranged fire at a unit with 5% physical resist and 5% ranged resist gets reduced by 10%). Ward resistance resists everything, and is accordingly fairly rare, although in single player you can end up stacking it on some characters to absurd results. The final thing that ends up important is that some units have a bonus vs large units or small units. The bonus applies to both melee attack and damage. The most common one is a bonus vs large that you'll see on spear units.  Fatigue! Units get tired as they do things on the battlefield. Running, fighting, shooting, and climbing stuff are the big things that make units tired. What does being tired do? Well, obviously, it slows a unit down, makes them worse at hitting things, and... uh, reduces the value of armor. Its actually kind of weird how stats get adjusted, hence, the table. Note that since these values are scalers, this means that the more elite the unit, the more being exhausted screws them up. So the clanrat, being crap, actually gets a bit of a boon due to this. Their stats are already low, so multiplicative reductions to them doesn't really impact their chance to hit or change to avoid/reduce damage as much as something that was actually decent to start with. Similarly important is flanking, which can either be a flank from the side, or a flank attack from behind. Aside from giving a large malus to morale, it also nerfs the defender's melee defense by a fairly harsh multiplicative value, which yet again, doesn't really hurt crappy units that much, but devastates elite units. An elite unit that could have killed nigh-infinite clan rats at a choke point can end up dying if surrounded. Its a bit of a black box in how it works in practice, but generally, skaven ought to try to flank with infantry whenever possible. The Skaven Roster, Summarized Rather than covering each unit individually, I'm going to talk about the skaven roster in terms of broad categories. These categories can overlap, and are a bit more vaguely defined, but I figure its a more illustrative thing for getting an idea for how armies are comprised in Total War as opposed to just babbling about how significant x points of melee defense matters on one unit at y cost compared to another. Chaff Front Line       Skavenslave, Skavenslave Spears, Clanrats, Clanrat Spears, Clanrat(Shield), Clanrat Spears(Shield) Generally, these units are not going to win you a battle, unless you're up against a clearly inferior enemy army. They instead have one, very simple, yet very vital role; be a line to protect the other units. Don't expect triple digit kills from these; hell, don't even expect double digit kills from the lot of them. Its just not what their job is. Skaven units that have to fill this role are pretty mediocre, but on the plus side, they're cost effective. If it wasn't for their leadership, you might even call them "good" at this specific role, but as is, they need support or they will break very quickly. Spears have some bonus vs large, slightly lower MA, and somewhat higher MD, shields grants a 35% missile parry chance and some higher MD, but cost a bit more. Spear rats can deter some larger units but their bonus really isn't enough to deter serious large units from smashing them to bits, so trying to use them as dedicated anti large is rather a waste (altho they're cheap as chips, so eh). Spear clanrats with shields, along with Strength in Numbers, end up with a rather serviceable 36 melee defense and thus are probably the best overall for the specific role of "being a line of crap to hold things in place and maybe not die super fast". Skavenslaves are really crap and have terrible everything but otoh are ultra cheap and have the Expendable trait, so their horrible demise doesn't do anything to reduce your other rats morale, and they can still do stuff like run after ranged units and tire out other units, and if you throw enough of them at a problem it can give you enough time to win the fight with your other units before they all die. Actually Lethal Line Infantry    Plague Monk, Stormvermin(Swords/Shields), Plague Monk (Censer Bearers) Lethality, of course is a somewhat relative concept, but these units are the ones you can put in a front line for the purpose of them actually being able to slay enemies. They're generally a little more specialized in what you want to throw them against, and generally they're usually too expensive or situational to use them as the main unit for your frontline (until lategame in single player), but if used in the right situations, can be counted on to cut through an opponents front line or, at least, provide an elite core/reserve for your front line to be based around. Stormvermin are the only skaven unit to have high (90) armor, and the sword/shield variety also posses fairly decent combat stats (36MA/36-44 MD). This means that against anything lacking AP damage, they can at the very least trade well, and if the enemy also lacks decent armor, they can end up putting up a surprisingly fearsome fight for a skaven infantry unit. Plague monks have smaller unit sizes than other skaven infantry but in exchange have fairly good charge bonuses, fairly high melee attack and damage, and a bonus vs infantry, meaning that they can be very punchy under the right circumstances. Censer bearers have even better stats and a very high amount of magical AP damage, but are also very expensive for what they bring. And despite all of this, all these units still have pretty lousy leadership for their cost, and still can't really go toe to toe with other races' elite units without some manner of support. None of them really like anything large, or armored, either, and the stormvermin will die quickly if anything actually elite/antiarmor comes after them. Specialist Infantry   Stormvermin(Halberd), Death Runner This is kind of a bullshit category but my own definition is "infantry that you wouldn't put in the front line", or otherwise have to use them for some fairly specific role or you'll be failing to get value out of them. Censer bearers kind of fit that definition as well but they're still more focused around the infantry fight so, eh. People mistake halberd stormvermin for their sword bearing kin, but their melee attack and damage stats are rather too lousy for that (although their damage is at least around 2/3 AP) considering how expensive they are compared to a clanrat. No, their specific niche is messing up large units, particularly heavy cav; clanrat spears can be a danger, but stormvermin can rapidly tear apart big scary things, making them good for serving as a reserve. They're not likely going to actually catch these foes (especially if its a human player who isn't asleep at the wheel), and these large foes are often able to just push their way through them, so they're not really a menace to these foes, they're just there to ensure nobody smashes apart your valuable artillery pieces for free. Death Runners are more special. At first glance, they look like something that could menace ranged units given their ability to remain concealed until nearly on top of enemies, but they don't perform that well when shot at, and their stats really aren't that great if something intercepts them, and anything large like some reserve cavalry will wreck them, and they're a bit too pricy to throw away like that. No, their utility comes from a rather insane debuff they place on enemies they strike in melee, which reduces their armor by half. Remember that I noted that each point of armor gets more valuable than the last? Bringing a 100 armor unit down to 50 downright cripples their survivability, turning an average 75% reduction in non-AP damage to an average reduction of ~38%, which results in a unit losing around 60% of its effective HP vs non AP damage. Against anything not highly armored, however, they're generally a waste. Foot Ranged     Skavenslave Slingers, Night Runner Slingers, Gutter Runner Slingers, Gutter Runner Slingers (Poison) I classify foot ranged as units that like to stand in some kind of line behind the main line and throw/shoot things at the enemy line or any particularly valuable enemy foes. They generally are terrible in melee, although there are notable exceptions, and lack armor and shields, tho yet again there are exceptions, and have a limit to their ammunition which may or may not ever be relevant. For many factions, their foot ranged component is their real source of damage, and they can put out a blistering rain of fire, striking down scores of enemies from a distance without a care in the world. Some factions in particular can obliterate conventional armies just by focusing hard on their line ranged, as anything short of a dedicated cav force will simply die before reaching them. Then there are skaven foot ranged. Slingers are... well, they're alllllmost passably mediocre, in some circumstances. Skavenslave slingers are at least super cheap and can harass and wear down units if given time and space to operate (and they have annoyingly large formations so they need a lot of space or they get real prissy about actually firing). The eshin slingers are nominally decent, but slingers have poor accuracy, lackluster range, bad damage, and can't arc as well as conventional bowmen. The eshin units at least are somewhat better in melee than other ranged units and are rather quick, but this comes at a price of making them rather pricey; you end up paying a premium for a unit that is just mediocre at everything, which is generally a losing proposition. The poison gutter runners at least can do some decent work by tagging units with a rather nasty stat debuff from a decent distance, and even slingers can output some hurt en masse, but they're just not as good at this role as other faction's ranged units. Foot Skirmishers    Night Runners, Gutter Runners, Gutter Runners (Poison) Foot skirmishers are evil. Everyone hates them, because they're super annoying, and can make absolute jokes of armies that lack the means to counter them. Their big defining features are generally quick movement, and usually the ability to shoot while moving, and in their most evil configuration, the ability to fire in any direction while moving. They will run up to your lines and start peppering your most expensive units, then scatter off into the distance if something tries to catch them, often picking their pursuers to bits before simply coming back to harass and harry again. Eshin units without slings use throwing stars instead and gain 360 degree fire while moving, turning a somewhat mediocre unit into a menace. Night runners are not too terrible, although they're fairly cheap as skirmishers go, but are ideal for running down and decimating broken units and isolated foot archers (whose typical tendency to fall back when approached does nothing to defend them from being riddled with pointy metal stars). Their melee stats come to be more useful in this situation, as they can swarm and destroy lone units that try to chase them. Gutter runners are veritable rat cancer; not only are they just better in all regards, but they also have a passive that slows down enemy units near them, and the poison debuff slows down units even further. They're somewhat expensive and still rather fragile on the whole, but can carry out vital disruption attacks and are great for circling around the lines to fire into the opponent's rear. Specialist Foot Ranged    Poison Wind Globadiers, Death Globe Bombardiers, Warpfire Throwers This is yet again another sort of grab bag of odd things out, and usually would be a fairly narrow category. Just like the specialist infantry, these are units that I would consider to have a rather particular niche; outside that niche, they're cost ineffective at best. Inside that niche, they're nominally great but in actuality..., well... Poison Wind and Death Globes are fairly similar. They throw short ranged, inaccurate projectiles that have a small "explosion" on impact. They both have pretty good AP damage, surprisingly great armor, and are slow and poo poo in melee combat, with bad stats and small unit size. Where they differ is that poison wind (for some odd reason) are dedicated anti-large units with an extremely high ranged bonus vs them and the only thing in the skaven arsenal that can be said to be capable of "melting" large monsters like dinosaurs, while death globes are anti-infantry, with a much more limited ammo count but extremely devastating damage. Despite this, they tend to be troublesome to utilize; they're forced to get fairly close to danger due to their slow speed and bad range, and thus frequently find themselves having their target simply push through the skaven lines to try to maul them. Warpfires shoot large streams of "projectiles" that also "explode" on contact with a foe, which is a reasonable approximation of a flamethrower, all things considered. What is less reasonable is that they're slow, badly armored, and require careful use to allow them to fire into the flanks of enemy foes as their fire can't arc well and lacks stopping power vs any foe that wanting to tangle with it. On top of that, their damage is rather anemic for the work required to get use out of them; they don't deal much AP damage and even regular damage wise they're just okay, and just like the globes, their short range and bad speed tends to result in them bumbling into trouble (their dispersed formation doesn't help matters). To top it all off, they are somewhat inaccurate and thus will often burn your own units, which is very skaven and all, but they also drop a -leadership debuff on units which is useless against most things that are not rats, so they can do more harm than good. They're iconic units but tragically are also possibly the worst unit in the game. Light / Heavy / Skirmisher Calvary This space is intentionally blank For most factions, cavalry is the third arm of their army, and perhaps the most "killy" of them all, serving as the hammer to the anvil of infantry. They tend to be more expensive than other units, with better stats and smaller unit sizes (but with around the same overall health pool), and whose greatest asset is their sheer mobility and large charge bonuses. Skirmisher cav is much like foot skirmishers but even more mobile and annoying. Light cav tends to be the most mobile of them all and useful for running down isolated units or foot ranged but can't do much in sustained combat, and heavy / ultra heavy cav is used for smashing apart the enemy army one bit at a time, using their charge bonus and mobility to pick the most advantageous engagements. There are also more specialized cavalry units, some anti large, some more built around "cycle charging", where you charge into a unit, withdraw, and charge back in to maximize a high charge bonus, and some are anti-cav units themselves. Skaven have no cavalry. They have a few units that can pretend to be cavalry, like rat ogres and their skirmishers, but they can't approach true cavalry in their mobility and sheer deathrolling potential and will suffer if they forget that fact. Forget the leadership problems: this is the skaven armies largest weakness. In tandem with the lack of foot ranged makes them ironically a fairly slow, static faction overall, as they cannot let themselves be pulled apart as a more mobile cavalry force can then defeat them in detail fairly easily, and they lack the ability to pressure and punish enemy units that are out of position, meaning skirmisher armies can often pick them apart fairly easily, and their plethora of slow specialist units means the skaven have a backline that is often extremely difficult to defend. This also means they have to lean harder on their strengths to stay competitive, making them a somewhat predictable opponent in multiplayer. Of note that there's also "Monstrous Cavalry", which are really just cavalry units, except with less models in their units and better stats. Functionally, they fill the same role, but are usually more on the elite end of things. Monstrous Infantry  Rat Ogres This category is a rather broad one, since these types of units can still be fairly varied in their playstyle and utility. However, they share a few common characteristics that end up resulting in them being more alike than different; generally these are large units, with small unit counts, that have mediocre combat stats but high damage. They're capable of batting around smaller units but if left unsupported tend to get overwhelmed and slain. There's a tendency for them to be a mite cost-ineffective, all things considered, but are still often utilized in an army as a shock force capable of smashing into valuable units in the main line to help break the opponents army. If left unchecked, they can rack up rather impressive kill counts. Rat Ogres are actually a bit of an odd duck, among this unit, partially since they're forced to serve as bootleg cavalry for the rats, and partially since they're fairly lacking in defensive capabilities. Their melee stats are on the low end of monstrous infantry, and they lack armor as well. They are, however, more mobile than most of their kind, and have very high charge bonuses and exceptional AP damage capabilities. They're maybe the only monsterous infantry unit I would seriously call a dedicated cycle charger; if left stuck in melee, they'll die very quickly, even among rat infantry. Their more useful capability in multiplayer is being the only rat unit with high enough mass that large units and lords/heroes can't simply path straight through them, which is a big problem for skaven armies when up against single entity monsters or chariots. They're still fairly fragile units and must be shepherded cautiously to avoid enemy cavalry and ranged fire, making them rather unsuited to serve as "real" cavalry. Chariot(s)  DOOMWHEEL Whether a single entity unit or a multiple entity squad of chariots, this type of unit is based around two things; disruption, and charges. Only charges, nothing but charges, constantly cycling charges into infantry formations. They don't like being shot, they don't like being hit by things they can't charge through, they just wanna roll over dudes until nothing but a collection of mangled limbs and shattered bones lies beneath their wheels. Although more mobile than most units, these guys are still often slower than real cavalry and are even worse at coping with sustained combat than cavalry, and rather than really being utilized as a real mobile force, they're instead mainly based around repeatedly pulverizing the enemy line once anything that can threaten them is occupied or dead. If mishandled or caught out, however, they suffer horribly, with lousy melee defense stats. Doomwheels straddle the line between monster and chariot, as they're actually capable of mixing it up a bit in sustained combat due to their armor and sheer damage output due to their love of firing lightning guns into blobs of foes. They're still a chariot unit, tho, and thus can end up being surprisingly flimsy in the wrong circumstances. Large units and massed range fire can be a problem, but they can often just roll over any ranged unit that dares to stand against it without much trouble. There's not actually much specific to say about them, other than that as a bonus they have "Terror" a trait that can cause low morale foes to temporarily rout when nearby, which can be an extremely powerful asset in its own right. Single Entity Monster    Hellpit Abomination, Plague Priest (Plague Furnace), Grey Seer (Screaming Bell) A single entity monster is an expensive, large unit with only one model in it. Its often an immediate target for ranged fire or other nasty things, it can sometimes get caught out and ripped up by cavalry (particularly anti-large cavalry), and, oh, they can also just smash the gently caress out of anything that looks at them funny and can simply walk straight over any small unit that tries to get in their way, much to the annoyance of the multiplayer scene. Even dedicated antilarge infantry can get destroyed by large monsters, although given enough time and effort they will usually be able to bring it down (if it doesn't just cycle charge them like a big fat jerk). Their big weakness generally is concentrated ranged fire, particularly AP damage, and heroes/lords with high damage output. Monsters, moreso than other unit types, often have some kind of gimmick or niche to them. The hellpit abomination is the traditional monster for the skaven aaaaand it's bad. Well, not as bad as the warpfire, but it is more of the "extreme specialist" variety of monster; its meant to be an anti-large anti-monster unit. But its kind of bad even at this role; against cavalry, it melts. Against most other monsters, it gets slapped around silly. Against anything else, it tends to barrel into trouble and die stupidly. Its large health pool is irrelevant as it has little armor and bad defense skills. It's gimmick is the ability to regenerate some health when near death, which makes it unreliable and is the justification for bloating its price tag, and to spawn skaven slave spears when it dies, which is entirely useless. The plague furnace and screaming bell are technically mounts for a hero and lord, respectively, and are "war machines" by the games definition, but their functionality is the same as other monsters, in that they're capable of smashing apart enemy lines. The plague furnace is generally better at this, as it has an ability that damages nearby units when in melee, and has a nice amount of AP damage. Early skaven MP armies were often built around two plague furnaces simply rolling over the enemy force. Flying Units Here be dragons Basically every unit type I've described elsewhere can be placed here with an additional quirk of "can fly"; flying units hover in the air, and have all the intuitive traits one would gather from that. They can either fight other flying units in the air, or land and duke it out on the ground before taking off again if out of melee for a long enough period. They tend to be not that great melee combatants, due to both their stats and their cost, but there are exceptions. Skaven have no flying units, making this a simple category to cover. Instead, skaven have to worry about enemy air forces landing on their back lines and making a mess of things, particularly flying large units. Foot ranged is the usual counter to these sorts of shenanigans, but skaven foot ranged is pretty bad, and the units that can actually hurt them (poison wind globes and warp lightning cannons) are also inaccurate against the high flying, bobbing and weaving fliers. Their big recourse is that they have a cheap aoe "net" spell (a spell that prevents an enemy from moving) that exclusively works against flying units, giving even the mediocre ranged of the rats a chance to eviscerate any out of position flying unit. Artillery   Plagueclaw Catapult, Warp Lightning Cannon Artillery are bad in melee and generally hate being touched by just about anything. They're incredibly slow, and will require dedicated babysitters to ensure nothing at all can tie them up and render them useless or dead. In return, they allow tremendous battlefield control due to long range, powerful fire. If you have the superior artillery force, every battle is a defensive engagement, as a foe that refuses to engage will simply be annihilated with zero comeuppance. Artillery tends to be fairly pricey and is often specialized to perform some kind of role or gimmick, and by and large requires nice lines of sight and clear terrain to be used effectively. They also can be used to destroy towers and walls in siege battles. Skaven only have two varieties of artillery, but both are tremendously powerful. Plagueclaw fires arcs of lethal, explosive AP damage, most suited to destroying blobs of infantry. Its fire also reduces morale of enemies struck by it. Warp Lightning is even more devastating; it shoots straight volleys of high voltage green death that explode on contact with foes but are only stopped when striking very large targets. A single volley into the flank of any unit is capable of utterly annihilating it. Its bolts are also anti-large, and thus can devastate enemy cav from obscene distances, and can blast away at single entity monsters. The Warp Lightning Cannon, and to a only somewhat lesser extent, the Plageclaw Catapult, is the ultimate in "compensating for something"; all the other glaring weaknesses of the skaven roster fall blissfully away as long as your guns can be left unimpeded to wreck havoc. The downside is... that they're insanely good and strong. They're so valuable, useful, and vital to many skaven army compositions that the entire rest of your army ends up being centered around protecting them, and ensuring that if they somehow get taken out of play, that you're stuck up poo poo creek without a paddle. In multiplayer, this is the other half of the reason skaven armies end up static both buildwise and playstyle wise, where much of the deciding factor on the battle ends up being based on how well the artillery performs while a sizable chunk of your opponent's army is dedicated to taking them down. At worst, they can end up being too obviously good to actually take. Lords and Heroes       Warlord, Grey Seer, Queek Headtaker, Skrolk, Tretch Craventail, Plague Priest, Warlock Engineer, Assassin Lords are generals. You can only have one in an army, but you must have one. "Legendary Lords" are specific characters with unique stats, traits, and items. Heroes behave much the same as lords, but you can take as many as you want in an army, altho they take up a unit slot. Covering lords and heroes in depth is rather beyond the scope of this screed as there's an awful lot to say on them, as they can be customized with various mounts and items, and many can also take a variety of spells, and their roles and gimmicks are numerous and many. What they all have in common is that they generally have high stats, deal splash damage with each strike, and spellcasters are generally squishier than melee units altho some dudes just rock the gently caress out with both badass melee skills and crazy magic spells. Magic alone is its own concept worth covering, and offer a variety of damage and utility, but even the roles that melee lords/heroes can cover is a wide topic, altho you can likely categorize them in largely the same fashion as units. Generally, these units perform best in the midst of supporting units, as they can be focused down quickly if caught alone. A lord dying causes a large leadership malus to the entire army, as a final note, so "lord sniping" is a tactic often used in mutiplayer and in singleplayer. Skaven lords and heroes are generally not that great, unsurprisingly. Warlords are the generic melee lord and their only asset is that they can be kind of hard to snipe out and are inexpensive, and grey seers, while offering a wide variety of spells from either the Lore of Plague or the Lore of Ruin, and capable of mixing it up when on a bell, are prime targets for any competent foe and ill suited for self defense. Queek is the most killy melee skaven lord and a veritable can opener and he's still not that great at being a solo death bringer(especially our Queek, who just doesn't have that many yellow stat buffing skills). Tretch is a melee lord with some anti-large bonuses and is very hard to kill, and in campaign has some funny means to give army wide melee attack bonuses. Skrolk can fight a bit and is a caster and has some very good items, which makes him the go-to multiplayer skaven pick. As for the heroes, assassins are dedicated melee hero/lord killers and in singleplayer mainly serve as cheap battlefield thugs for running down casters or lords (before getting ganked by a squad of horsies or monsters that repeatedly knock them over (a common failing of on-foot melee lords/heroes)), but when skilled and armed up in single player can also put out a lot of hurt against regular dudes. Warlock Engineers can buff skaven ranged fire and also can bring spells from the Lore of Ruin, and Plague Priests have some capability for melee fighting (and become positive menaces on their plague furnaces) and can cast from the Lore of Plague. Final Notes On Rat Armies So what do the skaven have? Cheap infantry, some of it actually fairly nasty, most of it at least very cost effective at serving as a line. Some fairly fiddly specialist units. Bad foot ranged, no cavalry. And perhaps the most insanely good artillery in the game. While they can swarm at foes (and generally like having superior numbers), their strengths are in holding down an enemy army's most valuable assets and either blasting them to bits or striking them down piecemeal and slowly crushing them like a big, ratty amoeba. Their real problem doesn't come from their cowardly infantry, but from their inability to punish enemy units that are out of position or over extended, resulting in big issues if the enemy is allowed to take out counters to their game winning units, such as nasty chariots, elite armored infantry, heavy slaughtering cavalry blobs, or just a swarm of skirmishers and ranged units, as they can then pretty much take these units and use them as they please without any fear of them coming under threat. Hopefully, me spending way, way too many words going over this poo poo can give you a bit of insight into not just how the rat army works, but how other armies in this game can function and operate. There's way too much poo poo in this game to really break everything down without going crazy, but if you can get your mind around the idea of roles and the like, you shouldn't need to worry about the little details too much. ANYWAYS, I should have the final post coming up in the next few days. Hopefully at least before this ends up being the longest 15 turns in this LP, as aside from just the second longest. Tiler Kiwi fucked around with this message at 01:43 on Aug 29, 2018 |
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Aug 28, 2018 17:08
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I am now better prepared to lead an army of rats than I am for my exams. Bring it on, life!
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Aug 28, 2018 23:34
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Let's move this poo poo along people
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Sep 6, 2018 16:25
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kidkissinger posted:Let's move this poo poo along people It's Memorial Day week in the US: everyone is either on vacation, starting school, or busy making up for the people on vacation. It's not the best week for LPs.
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Sep 6, 2018 20:36
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I may have been gone for memorial week, and also spent the prior weeks staring at walls and eating paint chips, but the two important things here to note are A. last thing ive got is four more pictures left to bash out so it wont be terribly long hopefully and B. any delays are unequivocally not my fault
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Sep 8, 2018 11:18
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Tiler Kiwi posted:I may have been gone for memorial week, and also spent the prior weeks staring at walls and eating paint chips, but the two important things here to note are A. last thing ive got is four more pictures left to bash out so it wont be terribly long hopefully and B. any delays are unequivocally not my fault drat you Queek!
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Sep 9, 2018 03:23
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Dreadful news! Predictable, awful, annoying news! Stupid dwarf-things, stupid, stupid dirt eating beard havers! It has taken-took too long, but letters have arrived, detailing the news of pathetic dwarf-thing ambush. Praising Queek's might, Queek's skills, Queek's viciousness, Queek's, augh, continued survival! BATTLE FOR DWARF GOUGER VIDEO:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1Fmk7-Cxzs (standard health warnings apply) Battle Summarized:     This is wrong, so very-very wrong! How could it be that the entire dwarf army was made up of such pathetic fools? True, under my command Mors has been viciously purging-flaying the beard-things from their stone-deep hovels, but that should mean remaining dwarf-things should be toughest yet! Elf-thing magics should have worked to destroy Queek but instead they give him victory! Elf-thing trying to put on a masquerade-scheme of being useless idiot, but elf-thing thinks I-I am stupid indeed, for thinking such a ploy could work on me! I know! Elf-thing... elf-thing is in league with Queek! In league with patchy furred, sniveling Gnawdwell! I hide my knowledge for now-now, but even as worthless fool-elf fills mail chambers with his noxious smoke from ghastly pipe-device, I can see right through him!  Elf-smoke magic burns nostrils, waters eyes. Room feels smaller, too small, too vulnerable. Head hurts, can't sleep, will never sleep! They'll know that I'm asleep-weak, they're too scared to face me head on, but weakness, any weakness, and jealous rivals will move to cut my throat. Heard already that Queek and other warlords believe Gnawdwell orchestrated dwarf-trash ambush to keep Queek on his paw-toes, but I can hear them, I can SMELL them, outside, outside! How could they think it wasn't me, how could they not already be cursing my name, my great name, in utter contempt, at how powerless and stupid I've shown them to be? Closed all doors, closed all holes-cracks, but they're still out there, still plotting against my hide!  Won't let this setback stop me. I must make sure I continue to keep Mors strong! Otherwise, other rivals, other things, come to hunt me down. Grimgor, dead-things, all know that they have to stop me-me! I'll get them first! I'll make sure they will rue the day they were born-spawned!  Queek's army devoured the beard-scum, driving them forever from Mors' tunnel-mines. Another dutiful victory, earned by my paws, in such a genius manner. This humble servant of Mors-clan is yet again forced to see another, lesser rat claim my glory. Cursed-thing even got his ugly gouger-tool back from dwarfs, somehow. Not know why worm-beards had it, don't-don't care that it goes from one runt to another. Credittaker does not deserve such a weapon!  As I wrote-stated, other rats think Gnawdwell behind ambush. A foolish notion, no way such a clod could orchestrate such a task, but I suppose perhaps I can concede he may have made his own attempt and is simply trying to save face. It would explain why dwarf-thing army was so pitiful-pathetic, stupid Gnawdwell! Ruining all my plans with his worthlessness! Mors will know ruin if fool-rat continues to have his way!  The Dwarf Gouger itself, I admit-concede, is a fine tool. And Queek finding it does suit my other plans, as his fangs chatter-brux in anticipation to turn its edge against the gold-hogging dirt-crawlers to the south of us. Even now he marches, by my order-command, to their mines. He will meet-join with the Seer Phoebus, whom I have set towards gathering a clawpack of skavenslaves to assist in overrunning their fortifications.  On their march back south-home, Mors armies pass by the stupid dead things, our worthless ex-pact-friends. Whom are still rotting outside our nest-warrens. For some reason. Our clawpacks made sure to keep many-many skitterleaps upwind from them.  Construction-building is done on an expansion to a skryre enclave. Many warptokens it took to bribe the warlocks in Skavenblight to send their lab-rats to us-us, but I was able to redirect enough bribe-cash from between the warlords to see that it was done. A few mangy-furs presumably will gnash their fangs at this, but I have more than enough enemies that a few more are worth gaining if it means acquiring engineers and warp-technology!  Already a promising engineer-candidate was found. A prized apprentice of many a warlock, this rat-scribe somehow managed to acquire such a bounty of certificate-prizes in such a short time that I saw fit to draft an order snapping him up into Mors' service-thralldom. Once he figures out how to actually cast some zzap-lightnings, he will be a worthy pawn indeed.  Queek's forces met up with those of the Seer Phoebus and together continued to stomp-march southwards. The dead-things to our west proved too stubbon, too empty-skulled to agree to treaty-pact to let us pass, so Mors' armies simply trod though their deserts in a show of force-awe. Dead-things sent emissaries later with usual boasts and curses.  I-I don't see problem with Mors marching through tomb-lands. Ugly rock piles got significant improvement from Mors clanrats decorations. More "noble history" for dead-things to obsess over, yeuck! Who studies-cares about past, hrm? Worthless, Mors should always look towards its future! Tomb things will become nothing more than history soon enough, faster if they keep annoying-bothering us!  Mors armies arrive at last to border with dwarf-scum. Stunty fools have already failed the blame-game, and have now taken all responsibility for failed ambush. Such treachery, is in clear violation of skaven-dwarf no-fighting pact! Mors armies already prepare to cross the border, to bring ratty vengence upon the unsuspecting short-things! For a while, however, they will all learn to wait, both to gather some more strength, but also so I can make sure new equipment and prizes earned in the campaign for Pillar City are doled out correctly. While they are busy-idle comparing trash-piles and tail lengths, I set towards finalizing all the logistic-junk to ensure Mors armies don't starve amidst dwarfy hovels. Not a major task, seeing as dwarf-things are isolated and hated by all, but moments like this are rare enough to be worth grasping-stealing. Queek and his ilk could stand to brush up on their basic-plans, maybe be less pathetic in the field.  Aside from a trove of junk and slaves, a few of Mors' puppet-minions have gained sufficient talents to be worthy of noting. Queek, despite his incompetence, has at least stolen enough fame to be able to see that stormvermin are recruited much faster across our lands. He has become proficient at using both them and our warp-artillery to great effect, ensuring his worthless tail is never exposed to danger.  The Warp-Seer Zearo has also been acquiring some worthy abilities, mainly focused on scorching a great many foes with warp lightning. He is currently waiting-plotting at Pillar City, but knows his place well enough that he will not raise his whiskers in defiance even if left alone.  Speaking of worthy knowledge, under my direction our scribes have recorded some of my more genius-effective plans, to be used by the rest of Mors-kin. My great scheme-tactic of "run fast or be whipped-lashed extra hard!" has already garnered results, which will surely allow our clawpacks to run circles around slow plodding dwarf-runts.  Final preparations are being made. Rat-warlock has been renamed. Had strange vision while fighting sleep, saw curse-name hover before my eyes! Bad elf-omen magic trying to blight my whiskers, but I cleverly made sure curse-name was assigned to this fool-rat instead. He thinks he so-smart-smart, lets see if he figures out how doomed he is! Sent him to join with Queek-fool, maybe this way elf-curse can finally rub off on him.  Word comes back that snake fondling tomb things want a better friendship with Mors. Snake scum! Thinks we are to be friends with slithery dead things?! Madness! Never trust scale things, never trust scale lovers!  Run-flee! Use run-fast scheme to get away!  At last, final plot plan is underway! Queek shall be sent against the dwarf-scum. Either gold and stunted-meats will fill Mors' halls, or Queek will die under beard thing tide. Maybe both, if I can be so lucky-smart. Skavenslave messengers are sent to the dwarf halls, and even as their claws skitter in their warren-halls, beard-things seem to not quite understand what is to take place.  We see fit to make sure our intentions are clear, by driving our blades deep into their weak backs! Metaphorically, of course. Skavenslave messengers were cut down the moment they whisper-squeaked that our armies were on their way.  Such an act of treaty-breaking, I'm sure, is enough to make a few of you man-things wince. It is a trifling thing, rest assured; there's already plenty of jealous lies claiming skaven cannot be trusted; adding a little truth to it will not change things. I'm sure even the dwarf-things won't bother to remember such a trivial act of treachery in their ledger-things.  The first act of the dwarf-thing scum is to... run away from Queek. I am no longer capable of being shocked-surprised by the cowardice of Mors' foes.  Nor can I be stunned by the incompetence of Queek, who let the dwarf-runts scurry away to their holes. They will be much more difficult to crush-squeeze. We will have to dig them from the dirt and hoist them by their fat necks!  W-whats this? Just as I have sent out orders for Queek's army to march-move, new orders were passed through here, ordering dwarf-thrashed assassin ChickenWing to kill same dwarf that Queek armies have been sent to kill.  Orders make no-no sense, even for Gnaw-fool... why send eshin blades so far south to kill some worthless beard-dolt? Eshin assassin is with Zearo seer, has been there for much time, guarding warrens from greenthing plans, what possible reason could there be to send-order him so far away, when there's no way he could arrive in time, even with our best skryre-tech shuttling him southwards?  Unless... no... no! I see it all to clear now-now! They are finally acting against me! All of them! Eshin, Gnawdwell, the grey seers... and Queek Headtaker! They've all come south to do away with me!  I knew-smelled it would come to this. It's all this elf-scums fault! And after all I did for it! After all the strings I pulled, all the incompetence it wrought, all the warp tokens I wasted ensuring its pipe was ever lit and billowing with that cursed stench! I never knew an elf-scum could be capable of such duplicity, such treason! To take advantage of the generosity-kindness of a skaven is... its unforgivable! But-but I may be backed into this corner, but I have my methods. I still have plans. They can't do away with me so simply! After all, the simple things are MY tools. I have had to struggle-fight all my wretched life with nothing, while other rats-kin steal all from me, even my accomplishments. But they can't take what I've learned!..., like how one can deal with traitor-meat. All I need, is my little knife-blade... and... and...  Just need to take-take it... and with much stealth-skill... much precision-art...  And I will take... -take its filthy, stinking HAIR GIVE ME YOUR HAIR ELF THING I KNOW ITS THE SOURCE OF YOUR MAGIC GIVE IT GIVE IT GIVE IT GIVE IT STOP SQUIRMING  Is it not your hair?! Do I need to GNAW AWAY your vile-long EARS?  Maybe I need to stab out your stupid, worthless little ELF THING EYES wait what are they looking at why is it so hot-bright all of a sudden  Oh, Oh that's, that's..., that was very fast-quick.  Fire-stuff burns to even look at. So-so much that I can barely feel, feel that.... ...that its very, awfully, hot now. And its not-not stopping.  I can feel, that my fur is wilting... that my work is burning away!... Does fate itself curse-envy my skills and work against me? No other explanation! No other reason! Not my fault I didn't notice where elf-pipe landed, in pile of old mail-rubbish.... pile shouldn't have even been there, meant to be rid of it it, but worthless dolts didn't write the recipient address clear enough..., meant to check it again to make sure it was right. Never got around to it, got too busy, too busy ruling worthless Mors-clan. Will anyone know-learn now? Will anyone care? About the battles? The victories? How it all, every, last bit of it, was rightfully mine? Its all being burned-flamed away! My evidence to my vision! My destiny! My glory-credit! My whole life! Clever skaven don't care about history-past. A cunning rat should only look forwards. But fire-smoke, and heat, made me think of it all again. And I know now, now that I can see back again, that I regret many things in my life. I regret being stuck in worthless mail room. I regret idiot minions, stupid dwarfs, ugly elfs, all forcing me to waste time to work-gnaw through their turgid idiocy. So much time spent, so much time wasted... Just so scum-fools know my name? How worthless... how worthless! Useless, useless, its all been so useless! I never once even enjoyed it! Later, I learned that I still live. In a way.  But, I can no longer be the true warlord of Mors. I'm can't even be a feeble clerk-thing anymore. And perhaps, perhaps, the elf-fool is right for once. And perhaps its to my credit to not be so well known, after this. Maybe even... maybe even, its not so bad to be a nobody. To be worthless. For now-now. Tiler Kiwi fucked around with this message at 04:10 on Sep 14, 2018 |
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Sep 14, 2018 03:36
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Save File for Turn 65: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1NXX-hfMzL8aVaXoSSrAE7ItkKKIV_EXa/view?usp=sharing It's been fun, tho I may have gone too far in a few places. I didn't mean to hijack this for an entire month but e: vvv Yeah part of the reason I concocted the little story was that the actual interesting game events for my play session were super front loaded. Eight Peaks was a good, if grindy as hell fight, but the other two were pretty much stomps without much to say on their own. The rest was a bit of clean up and moving the armies south, and doing the quest battle since hey, it was in the way. I was hoping Karak Zorn or whatever would come out and do a big fight against Queek but they wimped out instead. Tiler Kiwi fucked around with this message at 04:16 on Sep 14, 2018 |
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Sep 14, 2018 03:39
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Gods, My Neighbour Rat-Ogre-o has to be a thing now And our favourite rat clerk Til'Quee should see this not as a setback, but as an opportunity! Now he can lie and scheme his way back to the top without anyone knowing his name! Seriously though, good update, even if the battles were a little lacking. Whoever's next is going to have to work that little bit harder 
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Sep 14, 2018 04:11
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You sir have set the standard for the rest of the LP to follow and are an inspiration to us all
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Sep 14, 2018 04:50
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Man, the reboot for My Neighbor Totoro is a lot grimmer-looking than I expected for Ghibli. Seriously though, congrats on this run. May your throat find solace now that it no longer has to do funny Skaven voices for our amusement.
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Sep 14, 2018 05:27
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Man, turns out the Lord Pack for Skaven is getting delayed because CA is trying to negotiate a contract with Tiler to do voicework and animations. I think this is my favorite from this last update.
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Sep 14, 2018 15:48
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who's picking this up now?
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Sep 15, 2018 08:11
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Tiler Kiwi posted:good stuff Sir, you are the best thing that ever happened to Skavendom since the invention of the doomwheel.
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Sep 15, 2018 11:49
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Lurksion?
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Sep 15, 2018 15:06
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He doesn't have PMs so hopefully he's reading the thread. If not I'll move onto the next guy in a day or two.
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Sep 15, 2018 23:25
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Got the save. Will take a look this week Report will likely be quite dry in a absolute sense, not just relative to Tiler Kiwi
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Sep 16, 2018 03:51
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lurksion posted:Got the save. Will take a look this week https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tpHILeOSV8
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Sep 16, 2018 05:17
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