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perhaps it is this dangerously irreverent and disrespectful attitude that got you in such hot water with the god of spines, richard
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Jul 9, 2018 19:54
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appropriatemetaphor posted:Holy spirit is the superior trinitarium member in my opinion. Are you kidding? That useless fucker takes credit for every single little thing any Christian does.
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Jul 9, 2018 19:56
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Also Jesus probably wasn't real and is a composite character.
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Jul 9, 2018 19:58
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Imagine if your whole identity was based on how hard you got owned
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Jul 9, 2018 19:59
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Devils Affricate posted:Imagine if your whole identity was based on how hard you got owned Im posting on SomeThing Awful Internet Comedy Forums LLC... I dont have to imagine.
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Jul 9, 2018 20:00
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Devils Affricate posted:Imagine if your whole identity was based on how hard you got owned Yeah but it was his plan the whole time, so really its us who got owned
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Jul 9, 2018 20:00
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Eight year olds, dude.
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Jul 9, 2018 20:01
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Devils Affricate posted:Imagine if your whole identity was based on how hard you got owned I’m trying to put myself in your shoes
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Jul 9, 2018 20:01
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Bip Roberts posted:Also Jesus probably wasn't real and is a composite character. So they had to put like hundreds on people on the cross?
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Jul 9, 2018 20:05
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Lowtax posted:So they had to put like hundreds on people on the cross? Literally yes.
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Jul 9, 2018 20:06
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Why do we look up to Jesus/God? Too mamy reasons to enumerate here. If you really want to know, go read stuff by people who believe in Jesus/God and don't hate Him, including history (the New Testament). Or diss it and die, I suppose. It'd be a shame to lose your gift if eternal life due to contempt prior to thorough investigation.
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Jul 9, 2018 20:07
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# of people who created an internet forum: probably a lot # of people who literally conquered fuckin death: 1
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Jul 9, 2018 20:09
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If you really want to understand I suggest you watch The Matrix Revolutions, op. It's like the bible but they put computers in to make it relatable.
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Jul 9, 2018 20:09
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Jul 9, 2018 20:10
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He's got that BDE, obvs.
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Jul 9, 2018 20:12
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Ad by Khad posted:# of people who created an internet forum: probably a lot God bless Vlad.
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Jul 9, 2018 20:12
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Well, I mean: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9w9EiLTZ_A
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Jul 9, 2018 20:13
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Ad by Khad posted:# of people who created an internet forum: probably a lot
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Jul 9, 2018 20:16
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Can you even shitpost, Jesus?
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Jul 9, 2018 20:17
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Jesus wept... Out his dick. Ayyyyyy lamo!
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Jul 9, 2018 20:18
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BigBadSteve posted:Why do we look up to Jesus/God? Too mamy reasons to enumerate here. If you really want to know, go read stuff by people who believe in Jesus/God and don't hate Him, including history (the New Testament). Or diss it and die, I suppose. It'd be a shame to lose your gift if eternal life due to contempt prior to thorough investigation. See but the people who believe in Jesus/God are literally retarded. E: look up to Dwayne (The Rock) Johnson IMO
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Jul 9, 2018 20:20
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Lowtax posted:Okay, think about it: you're the son of God. You can create miracles and get your dad to kill anybody he wants. But the whole reason he was born was so he could eventually die and essentially give the middle finger to all the haters and say "yeah, I told you so" when he broke out of his cave grave later. I mean, his dad knew they would choose that Barabbas guy over him and he'd die on the cross because that was his main purpose and the only reason he was born. So he fulfilled the prophecy and died, which is what he was supposed to do and the whole reason he existed, so why does that make him King Hot poo poo to people? If you're the son of God and was born by a miracle and your dad had all the power in the universe, you're already pretty much set up for your entire afterlife. He was basically a suckup and did all the poo poo his dad told him to and now he rules heaven or some such poo poo so I don't see why people are all goo goo ga ga over Jesus. I personally think John Saxon was cooler.
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Jul 9, 2018 20:23
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Ad by Khad posted:# of people who created an internet forum: probably a lot Every 9th level cleric has conquered death, idiot
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Jul 9, 2018 20:26
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It is because he invented america, you communist
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Jul 9, 2018 20:28
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Because he was hung like thiiiiiiis *spreads arms wide mimicking the crucifixion*
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Jul 9, 2018 20:30
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The Bloop posted:It is because he invented america, you communist
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Jul 9, 2018 20:31
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Being raised catholic and participating in the vampire rituals leads me to believe that this Jesus motherfucker was drunk 24/7
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Jul 9, 2018 20:32
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Lowtax posted:Yeah but how many people have run an internet forum for nearly two decades? Checkmate Jesus RIP CJayC
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Jul 9, 2018 20:36
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1redflag posted:RIP CJayC What I'm trying to ultimately get at here is that when the nomination for the next Jesus comes around, I do not only expect to be on the short list, but I expect to WIN.
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Jul 9, 2018 20:40
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I'm not directly saying JesusCoin is going to the moon, but others are. Do your research. Get in on the ground floor. JesusCoin.
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Jul 9, 2018 20:41
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I like how petty Jesus was, always blowing his stack when his disciples didn't understand his cryptic word salad.
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Jul 9, 2018 20:41
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Not getting owned by fire and brimstone, or living in times so awful that cannabilizing your children becomes appealing is pretty cool. Jesus taught us better on how to avoid those fates while also being a bit more intelligible than 4-headed seraphim surrounded by flaming wheels of eyes.
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Jul 9, 2018 20:45
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Jesus once spied a dude eating handfuls of dirt and told him to cut it the hell out!
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Jul 9, 2018 20:46
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My favorite part of Jesus is this: He knows he's the son of God. Knows he'll be resurrected. Gets nailed up and instantly goes, "wtf dad?! I thought you loved me?" Even the son of God doesn't believe his bullshit.
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Jul 9, 2018 20:49
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hevnz 2 murgatroyd posted:Jesus once spied a dude eating handfuls of dirt and told him to cut it the hell out!
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Jul 9, 2018 20:49
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Ad by Khad posted:# of people who created an internet forum: probably a lot Wrong, idiot. All who post are immortal. This dead, gay forum will make my posts float eternal through this world.
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Jul 9, 2018 20:50
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Lowtax posted:What if the guy suffered from that mental illness that makes you eat couch cushions and poo poo, instead of telling at that poor man, perhaps he could've offered him mental health care??? It was a simpler time
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Jul 9, 2018 20:50
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Lowtax posted:Okay, think about it: you're the son of God. You can create miracles and get your dad to kill anybody he wants. But the whole reason he was born was so he could eventually die and essentially give the middle finger to all the haters and say "yeah, I told you so" when he broke out of his cave grave later. I mean, his dad knew they would choose that Barabbas guy over him and he'd die on the cross because that was his main purpose and the only reason he was born. So he fulfilled the prophecy and died, which is what he was supposed to do and the whole reason he existed, so why does that make him King Hot poo poo to people? If you're the son of God and was born by a miracle and your dad had all the power in the universe, you're already pretty much set up for your entire afterlife. He was basically a suckup and did all the poo poo his dad told him to and now he rules heaven or some such poo poo so I don't see why people are all goo goo ga ga over Jesus. I personally think John Saxon was cooler. Jesus is the guy who gives out the blue checkmarks, isn’t he?
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Jul 9, 2018 20:54
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Kak posted:Slimer loves wieners. i never really thought about that when i saw the movie as a kid but now it makes so much more sense in a really progressive and ground breaking way also: OP jesus could turn water into wine which was probably pretty loving cool back in those days
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Jul 9, 2018 20:58
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the bible doesn't mention the infinite other timelines where jesus decided to just get drunk and gently caress whores and barabbas ends up on the cross and so now everyone just goes to hell immediately on death because God is one WACKY CHARACTER what im saying is you ought to be thankful we got a good jesus this time around
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Jul 9, 2018 20:59
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