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If you've been fortunate enough to avoid the first "Unfriended" film, it's a movie that takes place entirely on a user's desktop. They video chat with friends and everything is as it seems... but wait, there's actually a killer ghost in the internet killing all the people who was mean to her back when she was less dead! Oh no! Everything is actually not what it seems!!! The best part was when a girl pooped her pants if that's any indication of quality. So now there's a sequel coming, "Dark Web." It's about files or... something. Internet online (?) https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/unfriended_dark_web quote:When a 20-something finds a cache of hidden files on his new laptop, he and his friends are unwittingly thrust into the depths of the dark web. They soon discover someone has been watching their every move and will go to unimaginable lengths to protect the dark web. So take an educated guess as to what you think will happen in this movie. Here's my guesses: * A character is video chatting and sees an evil internet demon behind somebody else and says "...what's that behind you...?" and the character turns around and suddenly their camera is disconnected. * A character explains the concept of the "dark web" to a girl and the audience. It's where haunted exe files go after they're deleted. * A black guy shouts "gently caress all y'all,I ain't opening no file!!!" * Somebody gets disconnected, and then their camera comes back on... mysteriously! Because a ghost did it. Online. * Somebody gets raped by a Microsoft Zune * Somebody goes to play Pac Man but ends up in the game being chased by ghosts. Another character shouts "you can do it! Get the high score!" * Dumbass bullshit
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Jul 16, 2018 23:32
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It was a really bad movie but have you checked our The Den, it's a similar premise in that most of it is filmed via webcam but it's an actually legitimately good and deeply disturbing movie, and it's already about the Dark Web! I'll probably watch this movie tooeven though I hated the first one, and honestly I only hated the first one because of the absurd total garbage ending.
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Jul 16, 2018 23:34
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I'm sorry Lowtax I didn't finish reading your post, I bet that someone will get permabanned from the website they are using for asking where to purchase child porn with Bitcoin, but he was doing it as a lark
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Jul 16, 2018 23:34
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* That scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark where the guy gets chopped up by the airplane propeller, except it's an Amazon delivery drone. * Good guy sneaks up on the evil hacker at his computer and shoots him but then a pile of robes falls away and it's just a drinking bird toy pushing the Y key.
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Jul 16, 2018 23:36
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a teen is browsing askjeeves when their joystick turns into a tentacle
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Jul 16, 2018 23:36
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As long as there’s poop I’m in
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Jul 16, 2018 23:37
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one of the cast spends the day partying and falls asleep using the computer when he wakes up he finds out that the internet killer has cut off his arm
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Jul 16, 2018 23:37
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a reference to 4chan is made possibly reddit also
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Jul 16, 2018 23:38
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someone will see a photo of themselves standing in front of their house on google maps street view
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Jul 16, 2018 23:38
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Luvcow posted:someone will see a photo of themselves standing in front of their house on google maps street view smoking a bowl
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Jul 16, 2018 23:39
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VikingSkull posted:smoking a bowl
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Jul 16, 2018 23:39
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VikingSkull posted:smoking a bowl hey...
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Jul 16, 2018 23:42
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A bitcoin transaction completes successfully in under 20 seconds
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Jul 16, 2018 23:43
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An innocent unsuspecting teenager clicking around the internet when all of a sudden... a scary skeleton pops on screen accompanied by obnoxiously loud screaming! OMG
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Jul 16, 2018 23:43
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main character searches for something using bing. there's only one result but it's exactly what they wanted
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Jul 16, 2018 23:43
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there will be like one scene filmed by the second unit that has people acting like actual humans and cineD will seize on it as proof that the rest of this trashfire wasn't worthless bullshit fashioned with no input from the cast and crew's mammalian brain areas
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Jul 16, 2018 23:43
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When they go to open the laptop, there's a bloody a hook hanging off the laptop screen, also the call was coming from inside the computer. 
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Jul 16, 2018 23:44
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blood splatter on a webcam
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Jul 16, 2018 23:45
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Lowtax posted:* A black guy shouts "gently caress all y'all,I ain't opening no file!!!" Thats what I say all the time!
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Jul 16, 2018 23:46
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-Laptop with internet ghost haunted hinges snaps shut and cuts off someones hands right as they were writing the email that tells the whole story once and for all
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Jul 16, 2018 23:49
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Lowtax posted:* A character is video chatting and sees an evil internet demon behind somebody else and says "...what's that behind you...?" and the character turns around and suddenly their camera is disconnected. All this except they were stuck in the dark web the whole time. Also someone slips on a bunch of bitcoins and falls into the dark webs dark mulcher.
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Jul 16, 2018 23:50
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goatse
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Jul 16, 2018 23:50
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her chain email is from, a bunch of dead guys who were in a chaingang & died of cotton foot
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Jul 16, 2018 23:51
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clippy will suggest one of the characters do something and they will act dismissive and rude and will then be murdered by clippy in a gruesome manner
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Jul 16, 2018 23:51
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the dark web ghost keeps fragging them in over watch, tanking their kdr and destroying their dreams of becoming pro e sports players
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Jul 16, 2018 23:52
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Sid Vicious posted:hey... it's too late dude the internet killer is after you I hope you have plot armor
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Jul 16, 2018 23:52
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The dark web turns out to actually just be black Twitter the end
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Jul 16, 2018 23:52
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Someone mentions .onions and then the ghostmen peel off their skin layer by layer later in the film
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Jul 16, 2018 23:53
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bonus points if the villain is russian
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Jul 16, 2018 23:53
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*pushes up glasses* “Dark Web? Where have I heard that before?” *types what is dark web into bing* “Here we go. It says here that it’s a dark part of the internet hosted on pirated servers and infested by hackers. People spend their time buying and selling illegal pornography, drugs, and trade tips on something called crypto hacking.” “What’s that?” “It looks like they use a twisted form of voodoo to augment their hacking. They can access any system, but only if you let them in.” “What!?” “Don’t worry, it says here the whole thing is just an urban leg—“ *Grenade appears on screen* “Does your house have stairs?”
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Jul 16, 2018 23:53
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Sid Vicious posted:The dark web turns out to actually just be black Twitter the end *white people screaming and running out of the theater*
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Jul 16, 2018 23:53
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Sid Vicious posted:The dark web turns out to actually just be black Twitter the end it ends with the MC letting out a blood-curdling shriek as they're permabanned from twitter the camera zooms out, revealing a corpse bleeding from the eyes. lowtax
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Jul 16, 2018 23:54
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A dubstep remix of dial-up modem sounds during the final action sequence.
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Jul 16, 2018 23:55
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Tetracube posted:it ends with the MC letting out a blood-curdling shriek as they're permabanned from twitter lol
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Jul 16, 2018 23:56
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somebody gets both of their hands stuck in a blender
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Jul 16, 2018 23:56
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The kid who says, "I use punctuation in my texts," gets loving murdered, and his death is revealed via Emojis.
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Jul 16, 2018 23:59
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its just scream 3 again but the murderer(s) make(s) two references to emojis
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Jul 17, 2018 00:01
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The black-hats will take over his Windows 98 box and delete Minesweeper.
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Jul 17, 2018 00:01
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All the posts in this thread, even my terrible one, are going to be 20 times better than the actual film.
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Jul 17, 2018 00:01
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| # ? May 6, 2024 00:36 |
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Linux Pirate posted:All the posts in this thread, even my terrible one, are going to be 20 times better than the actual film. You think we can contact "The Asylum" movie producers to make these posts into an actual movie?
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Jul 17, 2018 00:03
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