Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Let's write six word sad stories
«‹›19 »
 
  • Locked thread
JediTalentAgent
Jun 5, 2005
Hey, look. Look, if- if you screw me on this, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, you rat bastard!
All your heroes did bad poo poo.

* # ? Aug 13, 2018 01:05
  • Quote
Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 16, 2024 22:34
  • Quote
504
Feb 2, 2016

by R. Guyovich
Lol, good user name/post combo

* # ? Aug 13, 2018 01:45
  • Quote
Salty Josh
Jul 13, 2016

Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.
Nap Ghost
I didn't think you were serious.

* # ? Aug 13, 2018 02:25
  • Quote
JediTalentAgent
Jun 5, 2005
Hey, look. Look, if- if you screw me on this, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, you rat bastard!
Your car loses value every second.

* # ? Aug 13, 2018 02:30
  • Quote
Salty Josh
Jul 13, 2016

Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.
Nap Ghost
Ate rear end and got strep throat

* # ? Aug 13, 2018 02:40
  • Quote
JediTalentAgent
Jun 5, 2005
Hey, look. Look, if- if you screw me on this, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, you rat bastard!
Asked girl out once, now incel.

* # ? Aug 13, 2018 02:42
  • Quote
504
Feb 2, 2016

by R. Guyovich
Jedi are not meant to date

* # ? Aug 13, 2018 03:52
  • Quote
Im Ready for DEATH
Oct 5, 2016

 Banned. The goon registered another account.

* # ? Aug 13, 2018 05:25
  • Quote
CannonFodder
Jan 26, 2001

Passion’s Wrench
Jjust wanted to bbe a moderator.

* # ? Aug 13, 2018 06:21
  • Quote
Screaming Idiot
Nov 26, 2007

JUST POSTING WHILE JERKIN' MY GHERKIN SITTIN' IN A PERKINS!

BEATS SELLING MERKINS.
Former admin fell in the terlet. :(

* # ? Aug 13, 2018 07:07
  • Quote
OB-GYN Kenobi
Dec 4, 2017

504 posted:

Im home schooled, and work from home.

Second forum infraction, no 6er probation.

* # ? Aug 13, 2018 07:22
  • Quote
The Human Crouton
Sep 20, 2002

 Don't talk politics or religion --Voter.

* # ? Aug 13, 2018 07:42
  • Quote
Aesop Poprock
Oct 21, 2008


Grimey Drawer

CannonFodder posted:

Jjust wanted to bbe a moderator.

You've got to be extremely masochistic

It's like being the worst politician

except you don't get any payment

and people will still hate you

* # ? Aug 13, 2018 10:35
  • Quote
CannonFodder
Jan 26, 2001

Passion’s Wrench

Aesop Poprock posted:

You've got to be extremely masochistic

It's like being the worst politician

except you don't get any payment

and people will still hate you

If offered, I'd decline the job.

* # ? Aug 13, 2018 13:24
  • Quote
Winifred Madgers
Feb 12, 2002

CannonFodder posted:

If offered, I'd decline the job.

The sad part is the offer.

* # ? Aug 13, 2018 17:23
  • Quote
DrPossum
May 15, 2004

i am not a surgeon
"Mother doesn't play" - my first memory.

* # ? Aug 14, 2018 00:34
  • Quote
JediTalentAgent
Jun 5, 2005
Hey, look. Look, if- if you screw me on this, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, you rat bastard!
Trump 2020 Slogan: Bernie Would've Won

* # ? Aug 14, 2018 03:41
  • Quote
Obsidianheart
Apr 26, 2017

Throwing off the shadow of a better man.
No one will ever remember you.

* # ? Aug 14, 2018 06:35
  • Quote
JediTalentAgent
Jun 5, 2005
Hey, look. Look, if- if you screw me on this, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, you rat bastard!
Sorry, we closed five minutes ago.

* # ? Aug 14, 2018 06:50
  • Quote
Screaming Idiot
Nov 26, 2007

JUST POSTING WHILE JERKIN' MY GHERKIN SITTIN' IN A PERKINS!

BEATS SELLING MERKINS.

Obsidianheart posted:

No one will ever remember you.

Good

* # ? Aug 14, 2018 07:45
  • Quote
Icochet
Mar 18, 2008

I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~

Grimey Drawer

Obsidianheart posted:

No one will ever remember you.

But they will remember my chlamydia

* # ? Aug 14, 2018 07:58
  • Quote
JediTalentAgent
Jun 5, 2005
Hey, look. Look, if- if you screw me on this, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, you rat bastard!
My Star Wars Fanfic? Nobody cares.

* # ? Aug 14, 2018 08:31
  • Quote
The Protagonist
Jun 29, 2009

The average is 5.5? I thought it was 4. This is very unsettling.

JediTalentAgent posted:

My Star Wars Fanfic? Nobody cares.

Comforting stories were not called for.

* # ? Aug 14, 2018 08:34
  • Quote
JediTalentAgent
Jun 5, 2005
Hey, look. Look, if- if you screw me on this, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, you rat bastard!
Both jugs of milk are spoiled...

Redbox kiosk gave me wrong disc.

* # ? Aug 14, 2018 08:37
  • Quote
504
Feb 2, 2016

by R. Guyovich
loss part two, next baby dead.

* # ? Aug 14, 2018 09:11
  • Quote
Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Porpoise noise continues.

504 posted:

loss part two, next baby dead.

Guess some got in after all...

* # ? Aug 14, 2018 09:27
  • Quote
Fur20
Nov 14, 2007

すご▞い！
君は働か░い
フ▙▓ズなんだね！

504 posted:

loss part two, next baby dead.

BUckley's poison sperm making heaven overfull

* # ? Aug 14, 2018 10:06
  • Quote
Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Porpoise noise continues.
Three balls means I never gently caress.

* # ? Aug 14, 2018 14:42
  • Quote
neato burrito
Aug 25, 2002

bitch better have my chex mix

 Dead baby jokes never get old.

* # ? Aug 14, 2018 15:27
  • Quote
Winifred Madgers
Feb 12, 2002

 I think Stalin was good. You?

* # ? Aug 14, 2018 23:07
  • Quote
JediTalentAgent
Jun 5, 2005
Hey, look. Look, if- if you screw me on this, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, you rat bastard!
Expensive repairs didn't actually fix car.

* # ? Aug 14, 2018 23:46
  • Quote
Fallows
Jan 20, 2005

If he waits long enough he can use his accrued interest from his savings to bring his negative checking balance back into the black.
For sale, clown shoes never worn

* # ? Aug 14, 2018 23:47
  • Quote
Pththya-lyi
Nov 8, 2009

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2020
My milkshake does not bring boys.

* # ? Aug 14, 2018 23:55
  • Quote
Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
Rented a bike, could not ride.

* # ? Aug 14, 2018 23:58
  • Quote
JediTalentAgent
Jun 5, 2005
Hey, look. Look, if- if you screw me on this, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, you rat bastard!
Kicked out of house, December 24th.

* # ? Aug 15, 2018 00:04
  • Quote
WatermelonGun
May 7, 2009
 Bedknobs and prolapses won’t buy love.

* # ? Aug 15, 2018 00:07
  • Quote
Whooping Crabs
Apr 13, 2010

Sorry for the derail but I fuckin love me some racoons

WatermelonGun posted:

Bedknobs and prolapses won’t buy love.

For sale: pink sock, worn out

* # ? Aug 15, 2018 00:13
  • Quote
JediTalentAgent
Jun 5, 2005
Hey, look. Look, if- if you screw me on this, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, you rat bastard!
Prom date's dad calls you trash.

* # ? Aug 15, 2018 00:30
  • Quote
Winifred Madgers
Feb 12, 2002

 For sale: crate full of poopsocks.

* # ? Aug 15, 2018 00:38
  • Quote
Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 16, 2024 22:34
  • Quote
Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"
 Name is Richard Spenser, not "Spencer"

* # ? Aug 15, 2018 00:40
  • Quote
  • Locked thread
The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Let's write six word sad stories
«‹›19 »