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Athanatos
Jun 7, 2006

Est. 1967
Can the Texans stop Deshaun Watson from getting sacked 62 times this year?

Give the kid some time back there.

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dirty shrimp money
Jan 8, 2001

Athanatos posted:

Can the Texans stop Deshaun Watson from getting sacked 62 times this year?

Perhaps if they cared to, which they don't

Intruder
Mar 5, 2003

I got a taste for blown saves
The Texans line sucks which causes them to keep a RB plus two tight ends in to block which leaves only two receivers running routes which means they can't get open which means Deshaun holds the ball a long time which makes it look like he holds it too long when actually no one can get open because no one's running routes because the line is crap

*breath*

But the stat about Deshaun holding the ball a long time is misleading

Comrayn
Jul 22, 2008
The Texans support Watson is his quest for the sack record.

Play
Apr 25, 2006

Strong stroll for a mangy stray
I'll go on record saying these rookie tackles are gonna blow and it's gonna be another Deshaun running for his life year. It'll be a miracle if he doesn't get hurt by the end of the year

Shadow225
Jan 2, 2007




Colts rule

EvilBeard
Apr 24, 2003

Big Q's House of Pancakes

Fun Shoe

Shadow225 posted:

Colts rule

Fact.

edit: poo poo, I didn't realize then when I changed my avatar, I'd lose my colts tag. Can I get that fixed?

EvilBeard fucked around with this message at 16:58 on Jul 9, 2019

Comrayn
Jul 22, 2008
No

Athanatos
Jun 7, 2006

Est. 1967
Maybe

Randaconda
Jul 3, 2014

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
we all suck poo poo in the afc south, fellas

EvilBeard
Apr 24, 2003

Big Q's House of Pancakes

Fun Shoe

Randaconda posted:

we all suck poo poo in the afc south, fellas

if by "we", you means Titans, Jags, and Texans, then yes.

actually: I think the division will be pretty good top to bottom. I think the biggest wildcard will be how the Jags progress.

Metapod
Mar 18, 2012
The only bad team is the jags everyone else is good

Comrayn
Jul 22, 2008

EvilBeard posted:

if by "we", you means Titans, Jags, and Texans, then yes.

actually: I think the division will be pretty good top to bottom. I think the biggest wildcard will be how the Jags progress.

He also means us the fans and he’s right.

No Safe Word
Feb 26, 2005

Metapod posted:

The only bad team is the jags everyone else is good

this except also all the teams are bad but the jags are double bad

Athanatos
Jun 7, 2006

Est. 1967

Metapod posted:

The only bad team is the jags everyone else is good

What if Foles is the real deal?


What if Mariota has 2 arms this year?


What if the Texans don't kill Watson?


What if Luck discovers World of Warcraft: Classic?

Intruder
Mar 5, 2003

I got a taste for blown saves

Athanatos posted:

What if Luck discovers World of Warcraft: Classic?

*record scratch*

What now?

Randaconda
Jul 3, 2014

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
I'd be happy if Big Dick Nick is just reasonably competent

Metapod
Mar 18, 2012
I'm excited to see how our tightend coach turned OC makes the offense as unimaginative as possible

Intruder
Mar 5, 2003

I got a taste for blown saves
I still can't believe the way Vrabel failed upwards, turning the Texans defense from one of the best to middle of the road in his one year as DC and immediately getting a head coaching job

EvilBeard
Apr 24, 2003

Big Q's House of Pancakes

Fun Shoe

Intruder posted:

I still can't believe the way Vrabel failed upwards, turning the Texans defense from one of the best to middle of the road in his one year as DC and immediately getting a head coaching job

Patriots. Everyone wants to try to build a shittier Patriots.

Metapod
Mar 18, 2012
Vrabel is shockingly not a bad hc. I quite enjoyed his aggressiveness last year

Intruder
Mar 5, 2003

I got a taste for blown saves

EvilBeard posted:

Patriots. Everyone wants to try to build a shittier Patriots.

Even the Colts did. How happy must you be that the Patriots saved you from yourselves?

Defensively the Texans go the opposite direction from the Patriots. The Pats famously give up a ton of yards but not a ton of points, the Texans are in the top 5 in yardage defense every year and like mid 20s in scoring defense

Shadow225
Jan 2, 2007




so you guys play man and they play zone primarily

Play
Apr 25, 2006

Strong stroll for a mangy stray

Shadow225 posted:

so you guys play man and they play zone primarily

The Patriots played more man defense than anyone else last season I'm pretty sure.

EvilBeard
Apr 24, 2003

Big Q's House of Pancakes

Fun Shoe

Intruder posted:

Even the Colts did. How happy must you be that the Patriots saved you from yourselves?

Defensively the Texans go the opposite direction from the Patriots. The Pats famously give up a ton of yards but not a ton of points, the Texans are in the top 5 in yardage defense every year and like mid 20s in scoring defense

I'm super happy. I hated the McDaniels hire from Day 1. I was hoping we didn't get hosed by all the good candidates being gone, and we got really lucky to get Reich.

Intruder
Mar 5, 2003

I got a taste for blown saves

quote:

Lewan: Matt Neely (an assistant for the show) said he would cut off his dick for a, uno, Super Bowl, and I said No I would not do that. Would you cut your dick off for a super bowl?

Vrabel: Been married 20 years. Yeah, probably.

Lewan: You’ve got three?!

Vrabel: As a player.... You guys will be married for 20 years one day. You won’t need it.

Lewan: If you come home with a bag of ice, and Jen is like ‘Oh honey what did you do.’ I cut …my dick off, we’re gonna win a Super Bowl, she’d be like “eh,” or would she be upset?

Vrabel: She’d be like do you want me to do it? Do you want to do it now?

Mega64
May 23, 2008

I took the octopath less travelered,

And it made one-eighth the difference.
The Titans are winning the Super Bowl with our dickless coach.

Demon Of The Fall
May 1, 2004

Nap Ghost
Vrabel rules

Play
Apr 25, 2006

Strong stroll for a mangy stray

quote:

Vrabel: Been married 20 years. Yeah, probably.

Vrabel: She’d be like do you want me to do it? Do you want to do it now?

lmao, Vrabel with the cliched but still pretty good marriage humor

Nis
Feb 21, 2011

:allears:

I immediately love Mike Vrabel. Long live Mike Vrabel.

EvilBeard
Apr 24, 2003

Big Q's House of Pancakes

Fun Shoe
It is almost upon us. The Colts Era of NFL dominance begins!

Eltoasto
Aug 26, 2002

We come spinning out of nothingness, scattering stars like dust.



EvilBeard posted:

It is almost upon us. The Colts Era of NFL dominance begins!

https://twitter.com/Colts/status/1154043624394391552

EvilBeard
Apr 24, 2003

Big Q's House of Pancakes

Fun Shoe

stop, I can only get so erect.

Athanatos
Jun 7, 2006

Est. 1967


Eltoasto
Aug 26, 2002

We come spinning out of nothingness, scattering stars like dust.




Hmmm maybe it's time...Dwight is retired now

EvilBeard
Apr 24, 2003

Big Q's House of Pancakes

Fun Shoe

Eltoasto posted:

Hmmm maybe it's time...Dwight is retired now

yes, join the Big Q avatar club. Let the rest of the thread have to look upon the face of their destroyer.

No Safe Word
Feb 26, 2005

Eltoasto posted:

Hmmm maybe it's time...Dwight is retired now

but it also has David Carr's life flashing before his eyes, it's so good

EvilBeard
Apr 24, 2003

Big Q's House of Pancakes

Fun Shoe
breaking news: Taylor Lewan has taken a polygraph. He totally didn't do it.

Bismack Billabongo
Oct 9, 2012

Wet
I’m excited for Taylor to discuss it more on his podcast, MAGA with The Boys.

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Metapod
Mar 18, 2012
going to be powerful finishing 9-7 after starting 1-3

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