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 Premise: quote:Sasquatch are relict Neanderthal populations. Being adapted to cold woodland environments, their range was restricted by climate change after the last Ice Age and they were mostly wiped out in Western Eurasia, but there are still populations in North America and some parts of Siberia. Their lifestyle has changed greatly over the centuries as a result of the arrival of European colonists in the Americas, forcing them to retreat into the depths of the forests and vigilantly avoid humans, to the point that they now live in a constant state of guerrilla warfare. Imagine people as intelligent as modern humans in many ways, but with limited social structure, the mental abilities of autistic savants, great physical strength, and impressive natural abilities of wilderness survival. A Sasquatch like a cross between a bear and the Viet Cong, employing tactics of survival honed over the course of many years that allow them to remain largely undetected. Points of discussion: How would society react if authorities declared the existence of a race of monstrous semi-humans in North America? As a fellow taxonomic homo, would a captured Bigfoot be protected by the Geneva convention? Should they be classified as a Native American tribe? How would we as a society prevent them from being quickly hunted to extinction? Should they be prosecuted for attacks on people, or vice versa? What policies should be enacted regarding Bigfoot and the study of bigfoot?
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Aug 2, 2018 18:22
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Bigfoot Stats     
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Aug 2, 2018 18:24
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dont stop im almost there
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Aug 2, 2018 18:26
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibyZZfVe014 According to GOP candidate Denver Riggleman, JFK was killed because he learned that the US army was conducting weapons tests on Bigfeet
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Aug 2, 2018 18:26
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Are Sasquatch eligible to vote? Which party best represents the interests of Sasquatch?
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Aug 2, 2018 18:28
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yH82NOH14okquote:Christopher Noel is a Burlington, Vermont-based sasquatch researcher. Are the Sasquatch autistic? Should we treating or medicating them? Does a Sasquatch have the right to healthcare?
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Aug 2, 2018 18:32
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Is it gay if you suck a sasquatch penis??
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Aug 2, 2018 19:39
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kdw1KSkO1tI
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Aug 2, 2018 19:40
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quote:The Sasquatch would be in great danger of extinction if ever they became known to the general public, but this unique and peculiar population of Native Americans is protected by the fact that most people adamently refuse to believe they exist. If this is true then I guess the purpose of this thread is to accelerate the genocide of the Sasquatches?!
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Aug 2, 2018 21:37
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oPM-bDxG1sA
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Aug 2, 2018 21:38
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twoday posted:Are Sasquatch eligible to vote? Which party best represents the interests of Sasquatch? oh poo poo https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lrv-VLsS0G0
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Aug 2, 2018 22:33
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I present you with an important source of primary documents about Sasquatch.
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Aug 2, 2018 23:42
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good poo poo
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Aug 3, 2018 00:09
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The term "Bigfoot" is problematic: in proportion to its body size, its feet are relatively normal sized. After all, you wouldn't call a horse BigDick, would you? (Unless you were Mike Pence, that is...)
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Aug 3, 2018 04:29
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technically sightings in florida are classified as skunk apes. whether or not they are distinct from bigfoot is debatable.
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Aug 3, 2018 06:42
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anyone who thinks bigfoot lives anywhere other than the pnw is a god drat idiot
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Aug 3, 2018 06:47
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I just read a pretty interesting paper by an Archaeologist named Rudy Reimer. He has a PhD in Archaeology and teaches at Simon Fraser University in British Columbia, and is also a member of the Squamish first nation people. He did his PhD thesis about findings of evidence of stone tools and other signs of ancient habitation in remote high-altitude regions of BC. A few years later he wrote a paper called Smaylilh or Wild People Archaeology, where he attributes similar findings to a tradition that is still practiced by his tribe. It pretty much involves someone going into the wilderness alone on a spirit quest for 5-10 years. Over that time the Squamish spirit quester takes on a pretty wild appearance, dressed only in animal furs, and lives off of hunting and gathering, avoiding contact with humans, and roaming around hundreds of miles through the mountains. So at least some sasquatch encounters in the pacific northwest can be explained by the obliviousness and insenstivity of the white man to a continuing First Nations tradition. Also it's pretty to mind-boogling to think about the people who are doing this, which is confirmed by the tribe as something they do. I watched an interview with him where he theorized that maybe at some point in the past some of these "wild people" just stayed in the wild and reproduced, effectively making them an uncontacted tribe in North America. Pretty neat. The paper can be found here, and is a good read: https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Rudy_Reimer
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Aug 3, 2018 15:31
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So if Sasquatch are just a tribe of native americans, it puts everything in a radically different perspective that makes bigfootologists look even more like idiots and assholes "They can't be natives, we killed all those. it must be an apeman!"
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Aug 3, 2018 15:34
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Oh my god I was wrong It was man all along You've finally made a monkey out of me
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Aug 3, 2018 15:39
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Double post
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Aug 3, 2018 15:40
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twoday posted:So if Sasquatch are just a tribe of native americans, it puts everything in a radically different perspective that makes bigfootologists look even more like idiots and assholes this is just the Pygmy Theory explanation for fairies and little people but somehow dumber
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Aug 3, 2018 17:40
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Whay is that and why do you say so
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Aug 4, 2018 02:25
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Also for the record, I do not believe in bigfoot but find it fascinating for the sheer amount of time and effort that people put into it. Also as a thought experiment, I find it nice to imagine what it would imply if any of these theories were true
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Aug 4, 2018 02:28
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twoday posted:Also for the record, I do not believe in bigfoot but find it fascinating for the sheer amount of time and effort that people put into it. Also as a thought experiment, I find it nice to imagine what it would imply if any of these theories were true i'm glad you too are finding copious amounts of time to keep doing this thing you like to do 
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Aug 4, 2018 02:38
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I'm both amazed and disgusted by how little this thread talks about Sasquath loving https://mobile.twitter.com/jameswackenhut/status/898326984945573888
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Aug 4, 2018 05:07
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I will only discuss sasquatch loving in a scientific manner The main circles for both sexes in comparison to the black circle to the right indicate the degree of sexual dimorphism in size (the relative body size of the male and the female within each species). The main circles for males of all great ape species are larger than the female comparison figure, and the main circles for females of all species are smaller than the male comparison figure. This is because males of all great ape species are larger than their females. The pair of smaller circles indicates the relative size of testes (for male) and breasts (for females) across species. The appendage indicates the relative size of the penis (for males) and ovaries (for females) acrossspecies. As I mention in my last post, men have testes which are larger than gorillas and orangutans (whose females are largely sexually exclusive to their mates) but smaller than bonobos and chimpanzees (whose females are highly promiscuous). Incidentally, the figure indicates that, relative to males of other great ape species, men have an unusually large penis. As humans have by far the biggest dicks of all primates relative to their body, my question is this: would Sasquatch dicks be bigger or smaller than human dicks, given their greater body size? Do Sasquatch have human-like ratio of dick to body size? Or do they have tiny primate dicks?
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Aug 4, 2018 15:41
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im a bigfoot maoist
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Aug 4, 2018 15:45
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answer is to organize with the sasquatches and wage a guerrilla insurrection from the mountains and woods with them eventually driving the capitalists into the sea. same struggle same fight.
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Aug 4, 2018 15:46
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i hope it's true bc then i might be able to live my dream of having a big strong hairy neanderthal waifu 
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Aug 6, 2018 19:28
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I believe that whenever there is a sasquatch/non-sasquach couple, the non-sasquach is always the waifu
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Aug 6, 2018 22:09
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Given that Shabani the Gorilla exists, ladies have already demonstrated a penchant for large hairy hominids.
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Aug 6, 2018 22:22
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i once heard the hooting sound that big foot 'researchers' associate with big feet while hiking at night in the woods in the puget sound area i think it was just the mythical beast known as other people in the woods
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Aug 6, 2018 22:24
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It has been theorized that when Bigfoot researchers in the forest beat loose branches against trees in an attempt to replicate Bigfoot “woodknocks” and communicate with bigfeet over large distances, and they actually hear a reply, that the reply is usually coming from other Bigfoot researchers. Thus it seems that they have developed a novel but primitive form of medium-distance communication that they use to alert each other of their presence in the area
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Aug 6, 2018 22:30
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OP you forgot to mention that the Squatch (that's what people "in the biz" call him) subsists entirely on Jack Links beef jerky. Primarily original and teriyaki flavors, but will eat peppered if no alternatives can be found.
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Aug 7, 2018 01:30
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wait there are bigfoot sighting reported in loving florida wth vvv look man i'm not the one saying those are bigfoots Prav has issued a correction as of 01:37 on Aug 7, 2018 |
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Aug 7, 2018 01:33
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Prav posted:wait there are bigfoot sighting reported in loving florida thats not bigfoot you dipshat, thats the skunk ape. different species of hairy wildman hominid (he smells like cuban baby diapers)
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Aug 7, 2018 01:36
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also i'll go on the record as saying that the patterson film is fake as fuckkkkkkkk
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Aug 7, 2018 01:36
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Prav posted:wait there are bigfoot sighting reported in loving florida It's Florida. Why not?
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Aug 7, 2018 01:36
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Florida Hominid attempts to trade live allligator for beer Florida Hominid breaks into house, masturbates, falls asleep, and is discovered by homeowners Florida Hominid disappears into forest after throwing feces at gas station clerk
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Aug 7, 2018 12:39
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Aug 7, 2018 12:47
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