What was your favorite part of the new Slenderman movie??

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Colonel Cancer: Sep 26, 2015; Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

Yeah that was sweet. "We are slendermankind!"

# ? Aug 10, 2018 21:19

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# ? May 6, 2024 11:05

HugeGrossBurrito: Mar 20, 2018

Honestly I thought one full penetration sex scene with slenderwoman was enough but 3 was fine too I guess.

# ? Aug 10, 2018 21:22

Stryder: Oct 3, 2002

"I enjoy playing the audience like a piano."
� Alfred Hitchcock

So does Sylvain White. �Slender Man� is an absolutely merciless thriller, a movie so violent and scary that, yes, I would compare it to �Psycho� (1960). It's a terrifying and creepy film about what one of the characters calls Evil Personified. Right. And that leads us to the one small piece of plot I'm going to describe. There's this six-year-old kid who commits a murder right at the beginning of the movie, and is sent away, and is described by his psychiatrist as someone he spent eight years trying to help, and then the next seven years trying to keep locked up. But the guy escapes. And he returns on Halloween to the same town and the same street where he committed his first murder. And while the local babysitters telephone their boyfriends and watch �The Thing� on television, he goes back into action.

Period: That's all I'm going to describe, because �Slender Man� is a visceral experience -- we aren't seeing the movie, we're having it happen to us. It's frightening. Maybe you don't like movies that are really scary: Then don't see this one. Seeing it, I was reminded of the favorable review I gave a few years ago to �Last House on the Left,� another really terrifying thriller. Readers wrote to ask how I could possibly support such a movie. But it wasn't that I was supporting it so much as that I was describing it: You don't want to be scared? Don't see it. Credit must be paid to filmmakers who make the effort to really frighten us, to make a good thriller when quite possibly a bad one might have made as much money. Hitchcock is acknowledged as a master of suspense; it's hypocrisy to disapprove of other directors in the same genre who want to scare us too.

It's easy to create violence on the screen, but it's hard to do it well. White is uncannily skilled, for example, at the use of foregrounds in his compositions, and everyone who likes thrillers knows that foregrounds are crucial: The camera establishes the situation, and then it pans to one side, and something unexpectedly looms up in the foreground. Usually it's a tree or a door or a bush. Not always. And it's interesting how he paints his victims. They're all ordinary, everyday people -- nobody's supposed to be the star and have a big scene and win an Academy Award. The performances are all the more absorbing because of that; the movie's a slice of life that is carefully painted (in drab daylights and impenetrable nighttimes) before its human monster enters the scene.

We see movies for a lot of reasons. Sometimes we want to be amused. Sometimes we want to escape. Sometimes we want to laugh, or cry, or see sunsets. And sometimes we want to be scared. I'd like to be clear about this. If you don't want to have a really terrifying experience, don't see �Slender Man.�

# ? Aug 10, 2018 21:23

OXBALLS DOT COM: Sep 11, 2005; by FactsAreUseless; Young Orc

Universe Master posted:

The two hour drama of Joel Slendermein trying to take care of his wife dying of cancer is sure to be an Oscar contender come next year.

What about the controversial legal drama Genderman

# ? Aug 10, 2018 21:55

OXBALLS DOT COM: Sep 11, 2005; by FactsAreUseless; Young Orc

Stryder posted:

"I enjoy playing the audience like a piano."
— Alfred Hitchcock

So does Sylvain White. “Slender Man” is an absolutely merciless thriller, a movie so violent and scary that, yes, I would compare it to “Psycho” (1960). It's a terrifying and creepy film about what one of the characters calls Evil Personified. Right. And that leads us to the one small piece of plot I'm going to describe. There's this six-year-old kid who commits a murder right at the beginning of the movie, and is sent away, and is described by his psychiatrist as someone he spent eight years trying to help, and then the next seven years trying to keep locked up. But the guy escapes. And he returns on Halloween to the same town and the same street where he committed his first murder. And while the local babysitters telephone their boyfriends and watch “The Thing” on television, he goes back into action.

Period: That's all I'm going to describe, because “Slender Man” is a visceral experience -- we aren't seeing the movie, we're having it happen to us. It's frightening. Maybe you don't like movies that are really scary: Then don't see this one. Seeing it, I was reminded of the favorable review I gave a few years ago to “Last House on the Left,” another really terrifying thriller. Readers wrote to ask how I could possibly support such a movie. But it wasn't that I was supporting it so much as that I was describing it: You don't want to be scared? Don't see it. Credit must be paid to filmmakers who make the effort to really frighten us, to make a good thriller when quite possibly a bad one might have made as much money. Hitchcock is acknowledged as a master of suspense; it's hypocrisy to disapprove of other directors in the same genre who want to scare us too.

It's easy to create violence on the screen, but it's hard to do it well. White is uncannily skilled, for example, at the use of foregrounds in his compositions, and everyone who likes thrillers knows that foregrounds are crucial: The camera establishes the situation, and then it pans to one side, and something unexpectedly looms up in the foreground. Usually it's a tree or a door or a bush. Not always. And it's interesting how he paints his victims. They're all ordinary, everyday people -- nobody's supposed to be the star and have a big scene and win an Academy Award. The performances are all the more absorbing because of that; the movie's a slice of life that is carefully painted (in drab daylights and impenetrable nighttimes) before its human monster enters the scene.

We see movies for a lot of reasons. Sometimes we want to be amused. Sometimes we want to escape. Sometimes we want to laugh, or cry, or see sunsets. And sometimes we want to be scared. I'd like to be clear about this. If you don't want to have a really terrifying experience, don't see “Slender Man.”

Is this from CD?

# ? Aug 10, 2018 21:56

kecske: Feb 28, 2011; it's round, like always

when the protagonist opened a door to reveal a man stretching his anus

# ? Aug 10, 2018 21:57

Lowtax: Nov 16, 1999; by Skyl3lazer

Stryder posted:

"I enjoy playing the audience like a piano."
� Alfred Hitchcock

So does Sylvain White. �Slender Man� is an absolutely merciless thriller, a movie so violent and scary that, yes, I would compare it to �Psycho� (1960). It's a terrifying and creepy film about what one of the characters calls Evil Personified. Right. And that leads us to the one small piece of plot I'm going to describe. There's this six-year-old kid who commits a murder right at the beginning of the movie, and is sent away, and is described by his psychiatrist as someone he spent eight years trying to help, and then the next seven years trying to keep locked up. But the guy escapes. And he returns on Halloween to the same town and the same street where he committed his first murder. And while the local babysitters telephone their boyfriends and watch �The Thing� on television, he goes back into action.

Period: That's all I'm going to describe, because �Slender Man� is a visceral experience -- we aren't seeing the movie, we're having it happen to us. It's frightening. Maybe you don't like movies that are really scary: Then don't see this one. Seeing it, I was reminded of the favorable review I gave a few years ago to �Last House on the Left,� another really terrifying thriller. Readers wrote to ask how I could possibly support such a movie. But it wasn't that I was supporting it so much as that I was describing it: You don't want to be scared? Don't see it. Credit must be paid to filmmakers who make the effort to really frighten us, to make a good thriller when quite possibly a bad one might have made as much money. Hitchcock is acknowledged as a master of suspense; it's hypocrisy to disapprove of other directors in the same genre who want to scare us too.

It's easy to create violence on the screen, but it's hard to do it well. White is uncannily skilled, for example, at the use of foregrounds in his compositions, and everyone who likes thrillers knows that foregrounds are crucial: The camera establishes the situation, and then it pans to one side, and something unexpectedly looms up in the foreground. Usually it's a tree or a door or a bush. Not always. And it's interesting how he paints his victims. They're all ordinary, everyday people -- nobody's supposed to be the star and have a big scene and win an Academy Award. The performances are all the more absorbing because of that; the movie's a slice of life that is carefully painted (in drab daylights and impenetrable nighttimes) before its human monster enters the scene.

We see movies for a lot of reasons. Sometimes we want to be amused. Sometimes we want to escape. Sometimes we want to laugh, or cry, or see sunsets. And sometimes we want to be scared. I'd like to be clear about this. If you don't want to have a really terrifying experience, don't see �Slender Man.�

"Slenderman, is gay, and bad."
- Albert Einstein Edison

# ? Aug 10, 2018 22:06

OXBALLS DOT COM: Sep 11, 2005; by FactsAreUseless; Young Orc

I think anyone who goes to see this movie is definitely getting played

# ? Aug 10, 2018 22:06

Doug Sisk: Sep 11, 2001

It had to be when the fat-activist shamed slenderman and he had to apologise to the audience for his privilege.

# ? Aug 10, 2018 22:10

OXBALLS DOT COM: Sep 11, 2005; by FactsAreUseless; Young Orc

My favorite comic book movie is probably American Splendourman

# ? Aug 10, 2018 22:12

Fried Watermelon: Dec 29, 2008

When they logged into SA with no paywall blocking them

# ? Aug 10, 2018 22:12

Solar Tornado: Aug 9, 2016; A true fool keeps on fighting, even when there is no more glory to be gained

The whole movie was just a big build up for the creepy-pasta universe (pastaverse? slenderverse? awfulverse?)

next movies in the lineup:

Agents of Goatse
Slenderman 2: Rise of the Slenderman
Cheeseburger Delight: Red Sky at Night
the N*gger Stomper: 58 Ways to gently caress You and Die
YTMN Dogs

They are all still horror movies, by the way.

# ? Aug 10, 2018 22:29

504: Feb 2, 2016; by R. Guyovich

lol!

you guys are all so random!!!! have you heard of this rad site called 9gag??????

so many lolz!!!

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Aug 10, 2018 22:35

Big Beef City: Aug 15, 2013

Fried Watermelon posted:

When they logged into SA with no paywall blocking them

alternative:

When they tried opening the forums without being logged in and the window crushed him as he shouted "SLENDERMAN"

# ? Aug 10, 2018 22:36

OXBALLS DOT COM: Sep 11, 2005; by FactsAreUseless; Young Orc

Solar Tornado posted:

The whole movie was just a big build up for the creepy-pasta universe (pastaverse? slenderverse? awfulverse?)

next movies in the lineup:

Agents of Goatse
Slenderman 2: Rise of the Slenderman
Cheeseburger Delight: Red Sky at Night
the N*gger Stomper: 58 Ways to gently caress You and Die
YTMN Dogs

They are all still horror movies, by the way.

The next movie will be about this article: https://www.somethingawful.com/news/alex-jones/

The working title is Slanderman

# ? Aug 10, 2018 22:36

HugeGrossBurrito: Mar 20, 2018

OXBALLS DOT COM posted:

The next movie will be about this article: https://www.somethingawful.com/news/alex-jones/

The working title is Slanderman

libelman sorry bro

# ? Aug 10, 2018 22:38

Gatekeeper: Aug 3, 2003; He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

i invited a nice woman who lives in the condo next to my mom to go see this with me during lunchtime, so we could eat lunch and watch it

i made us both turkey provolone heroes with lettuce tomato and mayo

she got us BANG energy drinks from the store

we hid everything in my cargo short pockets since they look in ladies.purses these days for guns ever since the joker died for Aurora's sins

i don't remember what happened in the movie because i just couldn't contain my excitement for cold cut meat. i get a major chubbs for deli subs. the lady misunderstood my erection and thought i was sexually excited by a combination of eating, slenderman, her own self, and the kids on the screen shouting in terror

she made a "well, let's see where this crazy train takes us" face and tried to unbuckle my car seat belt style pants belt

i shooed her away

there were families present!

the movie was ruined for me and Slenderman in general is just ruined for me, marble hornets, the whole drat thing.

# ? Aug 10, 2018 22:50

Deadbeat Poetry: Mar 6, 2004; Sorry if my costume scared you

the part with Vin Diesel

# ? Aug 10, 2018 22:52

Foul Ole Ron: Jan 6, 2005; All of you, please don't rush, everyone do the Guybrush!; Fun Shoe

I loved when that guy was walking around the play ground and slenderman kept moving the rides in the playground but you could see slenderman as he kept running out of the camera of the guy real fast and it was all scary and uber spooky.

# ? Aug 10, 2018 22:53

Mozi: Apr 4, 2004; Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die; Nap Ghost

looking forward to slenderman 2: homecoming

# ? Aug 10, 2018 22:57

Big Beef City: Aug 15, 2013

The part where Slenderman had used his transformative powers to get to the center of the earth and was close to causing such a massive super-volcano that it would destroy the world as we know it, but Bruce Willis' character and the team of kids frantically piloted their huge boring machine ever deeper in an attempt to get to him first was super intense.

Called in from out in front of the Whitehouse where he was wearing a 'Kiss the Chief" apron right in the middle of 1600 Pennsylvania Ave, where he was helping to grill for an annual charity function, the president screamed into the phone "YOU CAN'T BUST THE CRUST" and I got super scared for them.

# ? Aug 10, 2018 23:00

Hairy Right Hook: Sep 9, 2001; Hee to the ho

Gatekeeper posted:

the movie was ruined for me and Slenderman in general is just ruined for me, marble hornets, the whole drat thing.

I am so sorry

Admittedly slenderfandom are very horny people but please don't let this sour you on the slenderverse forever

# ? Aug 10, 2018 23:03

Lowtax: Nov 16, 1999; by Skyl3lazer

I admit the movie was very artistic and used plenty of analogies to convey its message, but why was there an uninterrupted 22-minute long hardcore anal sex scene in the middle of the chase in the woods?

# ? Aug 10, 2018 23:05

OXBALLS DOT COM: Sep 11, 2005; by FactsAreUseless; Young Orc

Jawdins posted:

I am so sorry

Admittedly slenderfandom are very horny people but please don't let this sour you on the slenderverse forever

Slenderfandom has got to be the most literally misleading name ever

# ? Aug 10, 2018 23:06

FactsAreUseless: Feb 16, 2011

Lowtax posted:

I admit the movie was very artistic and used plenty of analogies to convey its message, but why was there an uninterrupted 22-minute long hardcore anal sex scene in the middle of the chase in the woods?

He wasn't in her rear end, he was in her pussy from behind.

# ? Aug 10, 2018 23:08

Lowtax: Nov 16, 1999; by Skyl3lazer

FactsAreUseless posted:

He wasn't in her rear end, he was in her pussy from behind.

It's not gay if the rear end cheeks don't touch.

# ? Aug 10, 2018 23:09

HugeGrossBurrito: Mar 20, 2018

Lowtax posted:

I admit the movie was very artistic and used plenty of analogies to convey its message, but why was there an uninterrupted 22-minute long hardcore anal sex scene in the middle of the chase in the woods?

It was symbolic commentary on how slenderman as a concept represents society probing into the darkness of the mind repeatedly and embracing the ID

# ? Aug 10, 2018 23:11

Stryder: Oct 3, 2002

OXBALLS DOT COM posted:

Is this from CD?

That is Roger Ebert's review of the original "Halloween"

Stryder fucked around with this message at 23:16 on Aug 10, 2018

# ? Aug 10, 2018 23:12

free hubcaps: Oct 12, 2009

I counted at least 4 instances of graphic bestiality in this movie, honestly I�m pretty suspicious about that aspca approval logo at the end

# ? Aug 10, 2018 23:23

Gatekeeper: Aug 3, 2003; He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

Lowtax posted:

I admit the movie was very artistic and used plenty of analogies to convey its message, but why was there an uninterrupted 22-minute long hardcore anal sex scene in the middle of the chase in the woods?

women tend to be more comfortable giving in to male demand for anal sex if the man is slender if youre pickin up what im throwin down

# ? Aug 10, 2018 23:26

Hustlin Floh: Jul 20, 2009; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

It was really hosed up of them to have that one minor character "MoTax" who was stuck in a wheelchair while slenderman dangled wads of cash over his head, just out of reach, before turning into a kicker ramp that launched his wheelchair into the sun. Did you sign off on that, Rich?

# ? Aug 10, 2018 23:30

The Protagonist: Jun 29, 2009; The average is 5.5? I thought it was 4. This is very unsettling.

OXBALLS DOT COM posted:

Slenderfandom has got to be the most literally misleading name ever

lol

# ? Aug 10, 2018 23:37

Foul Ole Ron: Jan 6, 2005; All of you, please don't rush, everyone do the Guybrush!; Fun Shoe

What about the bit where Slenderman tried to commit suicide because he drew a Stephen universe character slender?

# ? Aug 10, 2018 23:40

Solar Tornado: Aug 9, 2016; A true fool keeps on fighting, even when there is no more glory to be gained

Foul Ole Ron posted:

What about the bit where Slenderman tried to commit suicide because he drew a Stephen universe character slender?

Slendersonas are problematic by definition!

# ? Aug 11, 2018 00:04

Gatekeeper: Aug 3, 2003; He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

i liked when ron swanson was all "i don't believe in you, you're from the internet and the internet is stupid" and slenderman just poofed into nonexistence

# ? Aug 11, 2018 00:41