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Barudak posted:Not my family but gossip: the current sole heir to one of the big real estate groups of Singapore is such a gently caress up their father at 60+ is having another child with another woman with his wifes approval so they can leave the new child the business and money. you are one of my favorite posters, do you know that
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Aug 20, 2018 20:47
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seconded
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Aug 20, 2018 21:37
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My dad's family came to the US on the Mayflower. My paternal great-however many grandfathers was Captain Kidd. My maternal great great grandfather came from Wales. He was apprenticed to a clockmaker and hated it, so he ran away and emigrated to the US. He met his wife (who was emigrating from Sweden) and they moved to Utah. They were one of the first families to settle in the town I live in. He was a blacksmith for the Ute Indian tribe for over 50 years. He held a patent on some kind of horse hobble that he invented. I was born and raised on the Navajo Reservation in southern Utah. As a very pale red head, I really stood out. My dad's family are all polygamists and have their own offshoot of the RLDS church.
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Aug 20, 2018 21:56
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my great aunt was friends with che and convinced my great uncle to help smuggle one of his men through a checkpoint my great aunt on my mom's mom side went to private school with castro my biological paternal grandpa was an irish nyc murder cop who had many bastard children and died drunk in a ditch also my paternal grandma's family are descendants of https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrea_Guarneri also supposedly my paternal grandma's family is part hessian because one of their ancestors was a mercenary captain who hosed over his italian employer and usurped his dukedom, basically the plot of flesh and blood except rutger hauer wins at the end Percelus fucked around with this message at 22:29 on Aug 20, 2018 |
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Aug 20, 2018 22:23
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Catastrophe posted:My grandmother on my mom's side was almost one of Ed Gein's victims. She was living in Marshfield, WI, at the time. Plainfield, WI, was just up the road and was Ed's home. I think your grandma was mistaken, Plainfield is a good 60 miles away from Marshfield - that would be quite a trip for Gein back in the 50s. roffels fucked around with this message at 01:16 on Aug 21, 2018 |
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Aug 21, 2018 01:12
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This isn’t my story, but years ago, back during the time of Old GBS (so some time before October 31, 2013), there was a thread about some assisted suicide doctor that had just died, and everyone was talking about how awesome assisted suicide was. One goon (can’t remember who it was) came into the thread and told the story of how one day their grandma just couldn’t take the pain of living anymore, and asked the goon to “go get grandpa”. The goon then casually mentioned that their dead grandfather’s body parts had been made into a gun after he died. No further details were provided, nobody else in the thread batted an eye or asked any questions about this, and the thread went on as if the goon hadn’t said anything at all. I hope that goon still posts on these forums, because I would LOVE to find out more about how and why somebody would turn a human corpse into a real working firearm. I. M. Gei fucked around with this message at 07:46 on Aug 21, 2018 |
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Aug 21, 2018 07:39
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Dr. Gitmo Moneyson posted:This isn’t my story, but years ago, back during the time of Old GBS (so some time before October 31, 2013), there was a thread about some assisted suicide doctor that had just died, and everyone was talking about how awesome assisted suicide was. One goon (can’t remember who it was) came into the thread and told the story of how one day their grandma just couldn’t take the pain of living anymore, and asked the goon to “go get grandpa”. if i had to guess that goons surname is either hatfield or mccoy
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Aug 21, 2018 07:56
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for years my brother stole jewelry and TV's from my mom to pay for his heroin addiction, just like in requiem for a dream he is now getting a masters degree in counseling he yelled at me and called me a human being on my birthday the other year in front of all the other guests. i'm actually gay my mom is adamant that he's a victim of my dad's poor parenting. (and believe me it was poor, basically he spent 90% of his time smoking weed in his office and the other 10% behaving like a robot pretending to be human) she keeps suggesting that my brother and i do stuff together so that we can "bond" my grandmother is a lifelong lover of opiates and is over 90 i think and spends most of her time managing her withdrawal symptoms or searching for a cure for what she insists is a condition that is entirely the fault of doctors. she has amnesia about how shittily she treated my immigrant mom around the time me and my brother were babies. funny or sad? you decide inkajoo fucked around with this message at 08:13 on Aug 21, 2018 |
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Aug 21, 2018 08:10
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i'd be shocked if a heroin addict didn't end up stealing from family and friends in which case i'd be curious if they were a successful musician or actor because those are like the only people who get into smack and don't steal a tv or two
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Aug 21, 2018 08:24
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Ah nvm nobody is gonna believe me
Thin Privilege fucked around with this message at 09:05 on Aug 21, 2018 |
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Aug 21, 2018 08:58
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Thin Privilege posted:Ah nvm nobody is gonna believe me Go ahead, I believe everything I read.
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Aug 21, 2018 09:10
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Not really weird but my dad was a motorcross mechanic for the czech prince for a while during the 70s I think, it was czechoslovakia then so I guess the prince was just some guy with a fancy last name. He was also out sailing in the atlantic alone, and his boat flipped over and stayed like that for a while until it flipped back, and he still loves sailing. He's crazy.
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Aug 21, 2018 10:20
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cnut posted:Go ahead, I believe everything I read. COMRADES posted:My grandmother on my mom's side was part of some noble elite family and the Communists took her family's estates/factories/etc when they came to power in the 40s. Alrigh alright since this guy posted a similar story it’s pretty much this except the communists killed my grandfathers parents and before they died they sent most of their kids to Germany except my grandfather who they sent to live with some lady on some lovely farm in some village. Don’t know why. I’m not gonna say which noble family cause it would make it easy for some creepy goon to figure out who I am. Anyway my grandfather really doesn’t like to talk about the details so we all sneakily collected details piece by piece, but we still don’t know the full story. E: eventually my grandfather got out of that shithole farm village where everyone was an alcoholic and became a super high up engineer who developed some type of fancy scanner or copier, don’t remember which. Well, HP (I think, or was it Xerox? One of them) came over to look at it and cause of communism and no international copyright laws they took the blueprints or whatever and made “the first [whatever type of fancy] scanner (or copier).” I saw the blueprints when I was in high school and the times matched up as I recall so he’s not lying. Kind of sucks a whooooole lot. Thin Privilege fucked around with this message at 10:51 on Aug 21, 2018 |
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Aug 21, 2018 10:35
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Thin Privilege posted:Alrigh alright since this guy posted a similar story it’s pretty much this except the communists killed my grandfathers parents and before they died they sent most of their kids to Germany except my grandfather who they sent to live with some lady on some lovely farm in some village. Don’t know why. I’m not gonna say which noble family cause it would make it easy for some creepy goon to figure out who I am. Anyway my grandfather really doesn’t like to talk about the details so we all sneakily collected details piece by piece, but we still don’t know the full story. I saw before the edit and with the number of people who claim to be descended from them I'm not sure you need to worry.
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Aug 21, 2018 10:55
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TTerrible posted:I saw before the edit and with the number of people who claim to be descended from them I'm not sure you need to worry. My aunt is crazy and did some blood testing so E: and also piecing together the weirdly vague stories my grandfather says and he’s not the type of person to lie. I’ve known him for over 80 years so there’s that too. E2: I should have sneakily asked him some more while he was here but he’s leaving to Russia tomorrow 
Thin Privilege fucked around with this message at 11:07 on Aug 21, 2018 |
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Aug 21, 2018 11:00
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Thin Privilege posted:E: and also piecing together the weirdly vague stories my grandfather says and he’s not the type of person to lie. I’ve known him for over 80 years so there’s that too. Wowie you and your family must have good genes! What's your secret
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Aug 21, 2018 14:18
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You're right, I don't believe you
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Aug 21, 2018 14:24
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My old man hitchhiked across Europe in his youth and got impatient that the greek/turkish border closed for the night so that same day he helped some dude drive across the nomans land with a truckload of pot in order to get to the other side. On a similar note my families parties from photographies mass marketing to whenever pot became officially illegal in the states was to sit in a huge circle and get completely stoned and eat so most of the family photo album is a hodgepodge of people in white collar work attire on couches complete and utterly baked out of their gourds until it all just suddenly stops and nobody took photos anymore.
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Aug 21, 2018 14:42
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SciFiDownBeat posted:Wowie you and your family must have good genes! What's your secret I dunno, Russian food and...? No idea. I’m 34 and new employees are like, “wtf you’re 34? I thought you were like 23 (or similar age in the 20s).” My parents don’t look their age, especially my dad. He’s 54 but looks likes he’s 40. My great grandma died at 85 from heart problems and I think depression cause her husband died and she was completely alone (e: she had a cat who was amazing for her but he died too) so she was alone for like 5 or so years  My dads father is 86, and the aforementioned grandpa is 85. BUT. I’m gonna die by 45 max cause of my many bad decisions in my life. Thin Privilege fucked around with this message at 15:25 on Aug 21, 2018 |
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Aug 21, 2018 15:19
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The point/joke is if you're 34 you haven't known him for 80 years
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Aug 21, 2018 15:26
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i like nice words
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Dr. Gitmo Moneyson posted:This isn’t my story, but years ago, back during the time of Old GBS (so some time before October 31, 2013), there was a thread about some assisted suicide doctor that had just died, and everyone was talking about how awesome assisted suicide was. One goon (can’t remember who it was) came into the thread and told the story of how one day their grandma just couldn’t take the pain of living anymore, and asked the goon to “go get grandpa”. 
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Aug 21, 2018 15:52
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grampy bone goes in the nose not the gun
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Aug 21, 2018 16:58
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Thin Privilege posted:Alrigh alright since this guy posted a similar story it’s pretty much this except the communists killed my grandfathers parents and before they died they sent most of their kids to Germany except my grandfather who they sent to live with some lady on some lovely farm in some village. Don’t know why. I’m not gonna say which noble family cause it would make it easy for some creepy goon to figure out who I am. Anyway my grandfather really doesn’t like to talk about the details so we all sneakily collected details piece by piece, but we still don’t know the full story. my mom's side was wealthy too ... owned a hat factory ... during the Peruvian socialist revolution it was seized by the government. that left my grandfather destitute and being a single father with no money he had to put my mom in a boarding school run by nuns.
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Aug 21, 2018 17:06
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When my mom was like 8 she had a dream that her guinea pig Henry was running all around her bed and she half-asleep grabbed one of her toy horses that were nearby and stormed downstairs to where my grandparents were playing bridge with some of their friends and screamed “Do something with this!!” And they all paused and then laughed at her while she angrily stormed back upstairs
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Aug 22, 2018 01:33
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Aesop Poprock posted:When my mom was like 8 she had a dream that her guinea pig Henry was running all around her bed and she half-asleep grabbed one of her toy horses that were nearby and stormed downstairs to where my grandparents were playing bridge with some of their friends and screamed “Do something with this!!” And they all paused and then laughed at her while she angrily stormed back upstairs lol
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Aug 22, 2018 01:45
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My late aunt was a model and an artist. She wore clothes in private shows for the celebrities/socialites who she matched in size and shape. As an artist, she painted with Norman Rockwell. I have a couple of her pieces, but unfortunately most were destroyed.
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Aug 22, 2018 01:59
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My mom got my 89 year old grandpa to tell all his stories and she recorded them and made them into a book for the family. quote:RAY’S CURLY HAIR I’ll have to go through it for some of the more juicy bits of small town Louisiana during the 30s
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Aug 22, 2018 02:15
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My grandpa said he looked way older than all his friends back in high school, so it was always his job to get booze for parties. Before one party he was at the store getting a bunch of beer and they actually asked for his ID, so he started making a huge scene saying he fought in the war and was a hero and doesn't deserve this treatment until they relented and just sold it to him.
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Aug 22, 2018 03:35
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My aunt was married when she was in college, but got divorced and moved back in with her folks before meeting a well-off man and starting a family. This was a secret known only to my mom (her sister), and her parents, and I guess the ex-husband, who I'm going to call [EX]. It was in the sixties, when divorce was frowned upon. Anyway, my aunt was rich, her kids were spoiled rotten and snobby about their wealth. Then my mother got divorced, and all we heard about was how classless that was, and how it was my mom's own fault that she was now poor and destitute, and how having us around even for holiday gatherings was unpleasant because what would the neighbors think? Christmas would roll around, and my aunt's family would give me a pack of socks, ad mom would get nothing at all from them, because she was an adult. Around this time my mom started secretly abusing prescription drugs, and I started developing what would later be called "antisocial mannerisms". I was 11, and had a hard time walking because of a car accident, so everyone just left me alone most of the time. I learned a lot of unfortunate lessons about greed from my parents' fighting over assets during the divorce. One Thanksgiving, while my mom was helping my aunt clear the table just for an excuse to hang out with her sister for a while before being ushered out the door, they began arguing. My mom, I found out decades later, was high as a kite, and finally snapped that things would have been better if my aunt had never left [EX]. I was sitting around a corner drawing in my sketchpad, and heard the namedrop. They started hiss-arguing with each other before my aunt told my mom to "collect the brat and leave". After a few days of pushing the issue, I got my mom to spill about [EX]. Then I called my grandparents and told them that mom and auntie were fighting, and I didn't know why, and didn't understand, and didn't like it since I already saw my family get broken up once. My grandparents made my aunt make up with my mom. Thanksgiving rolled around, and my aunt asked me what I wanted for Christmas, like she always did, to humor me. I volunteered to help her clear the table this year, and basically laid out blackmail terms where she'd give me a hundred bucks in a Christmas card, and I wouldn't tell anyone about [EX]. She was furious with my mom, but couldn't lash out because the grandparents were doing a lot of 'checking up' on the two of them. She acquiesced to my demands. This went on for four Christmases, until, the Thanksgiving when I was 17, my grandmother, now heavily under the spell of Alzheimer's, began yelling "Where's [EX]!?" at the dinner table during grace. My oldest cousin said "I don't know who [EX] is grandma," and grandma started screaming "[Aunt's] husband [EX]! I don't know what you people did with him, but you better get him out here!" And just like that, my blackmail scheme fell apart when everyone started arguing about the identity of [EX] and my pilled-up mom started cackling about how this was long-overdue. We stopped doing family gatherings that year. I got the package of socks I deserved mailed to my mom's house.
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Aug 22, 2018 03:41
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Ha, nice.
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Aug 22, 2018 21:07
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George H.W. oval office posted:My mom got my 89 year old grandpa to tell all his stories and she recorded them and made them into a book for the family. lmao this rules, please post more from the book when you have time
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Aug 22, 2018 21:21
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The Something Awful Forums > Main > GBS > Weird Tales about your Family: I got the socks I deserved
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Aug 22, 2018 21:23
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My ancestors were master imperialists and
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Aug 22, 2018 21:39
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strange feelings re Daisy posted:My ancestors were master imperialists and Weird, same, check out this family tree of mine 
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Aug 22, 2018 21:48
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Obsidianheart posted:My aunt was married when she was in college, but got divorced and moved back in with her folks before meeting a well-off man and starting a family. This was a secret known only to my mom (her sister), and her parents, and I guess the ex-husband, who I'm going to call [EX]. It was in the sixties, when divorce was frowned upon. Does anyone have a link to that story where some goons family were like 1980s movie jocks who constantly bullied him and one Christmas his gift was a sweater with FAG on it written with bleach
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Aug 22, 2018 22:10
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Kazak posted:Weird, same, check out this family tree of mine That’s actually super rad, who made this?
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Aug 22, 2018 22:11
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Norman Rockwell, dig it
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Aug 22, 2018 22:12
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Kazak posted:Norman Rockwell, dig it God is there anything that guy isn’t great at The Mr Rogers of art Edit: now I see the signature
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Aug 22, 2018 22:14
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https://www.somethingawful.com/movie-reviews/shotgun-jones/1/ This guy was my uncle. He was an insanely kind and funny motherfucker and he died a couple years ago after walking around with terminal colon cancer for a decade. My most vivid memory of him was when he spent a big chunk of every evening during a week-long family reunion in 1999 doing dramatic readings of the first couple Harry Potter books to a crowd of ~15 kids sat in a semicircle around him and hanging on his every word. This was a boozy destination vacation kinda trip and while all the other adults were busy getting trashed every night he spent all his time entertaining everyone's children instead. He and my aunt were Lost in Space hyperfans and they had a huge and elaborate shrine to the show in their basement featuring photos going back to the early 80s of the two of them hanging out with Jonathan Harris and everyone else. RIP Stuart, you were way too loving pure for this world
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Aug 23, 2018 04:04
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My little brother and I fought a lot as kids. My parents got to repeating a line whenever I complained about him that was said with the same words and intonation every time: "Be nice to your brother!" Finally when I was 6, after another fight and parental dismissal, I got fed up with their chiding mantra and I told them clearly, "'Nice nice nice!' Fine, I'm going to call him 'Nice' now!" And I turned to him (5yo at the time) and said in my most passive-aggressive voice, "Hello, Nice! How are you, Nice!" My parents burst out laughing and decided to call him "Nice" too. I didn't back down and we ended up addressing him as "Nice" for what felt like months, which frustrated me to no end. Years later I learned that they both thought I actually believed his name was 'Nice.' Chalk that up as a pretty big own
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Aug 23, 2018 20:57
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