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a classic https://twitter.com/i_zzzzzz/status/733518431740252160
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Aug 14, 2018 23:18
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*on phone* "What's that? We lost? poo poo, cancel all the credit cards right away!" *puts on best poker face and assures other campaign staff that they'll have enough money to get home*
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Aug 14, 2018 23:21
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https://twitter.com/InternetHippo/status/875167152860520448
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Aug 14, 2018 23:25
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All we need to do is hold out til 2020 and then everything will be back to normal. Would you believe 2024?
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Aug 14, 2018 23:29
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Probably Magic posted:People love a familiar face. Running a Kennedy or another Clinton is more than fine, it's optimal. What was that one tweet from when Joe Kennedy III slobbered out the SOTU response which argued for aristocracy
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Aug 14, 2018 23:31
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have we tried getting a celebrity to endorse out candidate?
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Aug 14, 2018 23:38
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Don't let perfect get in the way of go- begins barfing uncontrollably
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Aug 15, 2018 03:35
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corporations are people, which is why i don't believe in the death penalty
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Aug 15, 2018 03:37
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any problems that our means tested tax credits cause can be fixed with more means tested tax credits
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Aug 15, 2018 03:39
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Sorry gang - we'll have to table this outreach strategy meeting until next week. Lena Dunham' s on the other line
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Aug 15, 2018 03:46
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*Sees a library being actually built* *eyes roll back, collapses to the ground seizing uncontrollably*
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Aug 15, 2018 04:31
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"And that's my plan to eventually turn the excess poor into delicious, highly profitable foodstuffs." *thunderous applause from gathered Republican politicians* *Leaves, changes hat, applies fake mustache* *Walks into DNC* "Let's talk about my new plan for healthcare."
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Aug 15, 2018 14:10
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Literally can't process the words Abolish ICE as a direct statement
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Aug 15, 2018 14:12
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Poco posted:*Sees republicans chanting lock her up* we actually should lock her up tho
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Aug 15, 2018 14:14
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pushpins posted:Literally can't process the words Abolish ICE as a direct statement "We could approach this from the center and get all the votes. Get this: 'reform ice'. The socialists will be running scared"
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Aug 15, 2018 14:43
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Never interrupt your enemy while they are making a mistake. *Stands on the sideline as the democrats lose over a thousand seats while the GOP takes control of the entire government down to dog catcher*
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Aug 15, 2018 16:15
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*crushes half-full la croix in my hand because im apoplectic that half my party doesn't even know how to dab correctly on cue*
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Aug 15, 2018 16:27
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 we need to make 100,000 of these buttons and distribute them at the DNC
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Aug 15, 2018 16:39
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Weed's legal but you get a tax credit for not smoking it
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Aug 15, 2018 16:49
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A Gnarlacious Bro posted:Weed's legal but you get a tax credit for not smoking it Actually that sounds like a gooddamn killer plan. You can win the selfish retarded teetotalers on board AND pitch totally legal weed
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Aug 15, 2018 16:52
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we should have a national conversation about healthcare
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Aug 15, 2018 17:00
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What's that? Republicans want to limit abortion mehods? Maybe we can compromise! ***10 years pass*** What's that? Republicans want to limit abortion according to gestational age? Maybe we can compromise! ***5 years pass*** What's that? Republicans want to limit abortions to hospital-style facilities? Maybe we can compromise! ***3 years pass*** Republicans want to pass personhood amendments and punish women for faults in their pregnancies? Maybe we can compromise! ***2 years pass*** Republicans want me to work this chain gang 12 hours per day instead of 10 hours per day? Maybe we can compromise!
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Aug 15, 2018 17:04
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pls vote for us instead of dumdum bad man https://mobile.twitter.com/Rhiannnonn/status/1029153004753231878
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Aug 15, 2018 17:06
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DariusLikewise posted:we should have a national conversation about healthcare I designed something just for this! 
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Aug 15, 2018 17:08
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WampaLord posted:I designed something just for this!
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Aug 15, 2018 17:10
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Suburban Republican women who believe that Hilary Clinton literally murdered Vince Foster and is a key player in a global pedophile ring will vote for her if she moves to the right
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Aug 15, 2018 17:31
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I wonder what megacorps we can get to sponsor our convention?
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Aug 15, 2018 18:16
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old beast lunatic posted:I wonder what megacorps we can get to sponsor our convention? Uber will send a clear message to our supporters that were hip and cool.
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Aug 15, 2018 18:18
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WampaLord posted:I designed something just for this! I mean Obamacare is great, as anyone would love to navigate the system on the site that doesn't mention whether you're eligible for subsidized insurance or medicaid, but what'swith a gay bug on this ad? I think it might distract. Oh, that will be ten thousand.
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Aug 15, 2018 18:21
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I think that this is finally the year the 18 year olds get out in droves
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Aug 15, 2018 18:23
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no we shouldn’t try and encourage them to vote, this is just the year when they finally stop being lazy millennials.
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Aug 15, 2018 18:24
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fatal oopsie-daisy posted:I think that this is finally the year the 18 year olds get out in droves They will pokemon go out to vote if we give them a passionate and dynamic candidate with ideas that resonate with today's youth. I've got just the guy! *pulls back curtain, revealing 800-year old white guy who loves consolidated data centers*
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Aug 15, 2018 18:26
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really queer Christmas posted:no we shouldn’t try and encourage them to vote, this is just the year when they finally stop being lazy millennials. Wait. Maybe we should try. Kids like Pokemon go right?
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Aug 15, 2018 18:49
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"Ellen's people are on the line, and they want you on next week. Quick question: do you know how to do the dougie? [long pause] its a dance. ok, it's real easy, let me send you some youtubes"
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Aug 15, 2018 18:55
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im a new media consultant and gently caress yes now im King of the Blue Bottle on foursquare!
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Aug 15, 2018 18:58
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we should get an intern to walk all our office dogs!
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Aug 15, 2018 18:58
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let me see which union tshirts i can buy off amazon
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Aug 15, 2018 18:59
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I've gone ahead and penciled in 100% of the minority vote.
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Aug 15, 2018 19:10
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instead of campaigning in michigan what if we just make a vine addressed to michigan
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Aug 15, 2018 19:14
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| # ? May 9, 2024 00:57 |
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if we spend another billion on election advertising in Texas it might actually go blue this cycle
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Aug 15, 2018 19:51
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