- Plant MONSTER.
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I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop
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Carroboscis
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Sep 9, 2018 04:17
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 3, 2024 10:02
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- Plant MONSTER.
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I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop
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Hootie the Blowfish
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Sep 9, 2018 04:19
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- Plant MONSTER.
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I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop
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Eeker beaker
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Sep 9, 2018 04:22
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- Moon Atari
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To Mr. Atari,
One man army? Um ever hear of Luigi??
Oh I'm aware of this Luigi fellow. I just felt that, despite my criticism of the effect Mario has had on our kingdom, I should still pay him the respect of not mentioning his...embarrassing green burden of nepotism. But now you've brought it into the open I may as well let it be known that Luigi only further proves our need for military power.
How demeaning that we should have to rely on the protection of someone whose defining personality trait is cowardice. How low are our standards that we should grant hero status to such a flake? Are you not aware that he has been missing in action completely during several of our most significant invasion and monarch abduction events? I notice he never fails to attend royal sporting events and parties. It's just our dire political emergencies and national (even galactic) catastrophes that he doesn't have time for. Even when he does deign to fight for us he seems to mostly hang back, rarely taking action except when necessary to relieve his brother.
I'm sure he is a very nice friend, a supportive brother, a wonderful tennis partner etc. etc. I don't wish to give the impression that I hate Mr Luigi. I just think it is important that we recognize he isn't an appropriate replacement for a properly equipped defensive force. It doesn't matter how much you love them or how cool you think they are, we can't rely on these....celebrity plumber heroes for all our kingdom's need. We should rise to meet our crises with a prepared and structured society, rather than becoming dependent on the whims of a few philanthropic and acrobatically gifted foreigners.
Arm the toadstools. Fund the fungi forces.
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Sep 9, 2018 16:10
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- alnilam
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this thread is good i just got an extra life from it
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Sep 9, 2018 20:58
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- Plant MONSTER.
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I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop
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Do we honestly trust toads with armaments? They barely have a grasp on timed hits let alone any basic military training.
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Sep 9, 2018 21:01
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- google THIS
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Quite frankly, I already feel that weapons are too common and readily available in the kingdom. Have we forgotten the Fireflower shootings? The POW block massacre? Just last week a child discovered his father's "emergency" invincibility star hidden in an innocuous brick. Not knowing what was happening, he ran to his family for help and ended up killing them all one by one, just by touching them, before the effects wore off.
Imagine having to live with that memory, that guilt. Imagine earning an extra life from that ordeal, just because you happened to have six siblings in addition to your parents in the house. No sir, I say we leave the fighting to the professionals. And let's demand some long overdue powerup cleanup in our cities while we're at it.
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Sep 10, 2018 15:57
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- Meeksha
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i did it all for the nookie
Ask me how!
-freb dust
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infrastructure wouldn't be such a mess if the tax dollars would stop MYSTERIOUSLY ending up inside bricks all the time
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come on and slam and welcome to the jam
Thank you Heather Papps for the summer sig!
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Sep 10, 2018 16:15
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- Luvcow
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One day nearer spring
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Quite frankly, I already feel that weapons are too common and readily available in the kingdom. Have we forgotten the Fireflower shootings? The POW block massacre? Just last week a child discovered his father's "emergency" invincibility star hidden in an innocuous brick. Not knowing what was happening, he ran to his family for help and ended up killing them all one by one, just by touching them, before the effects wore off.
Imagine having to live with that memory, that guilt. Imagine earning an extra life from that ordeal, just because you happened to have six siblings in addition to your parents in the house. No sir, I say we leave the fighting to the professionals. And let's demand some long overdue powerup cleanup in our cities while we're at it.
infrastructure wouldn't be such a mess if the tax dollars would stop MYSTERIOUSLY ending up inside bricks all the time
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Sep 10, 2018 16:48
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- alnilam
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infrastructure wouldn't be such a mess if the tax dollars would stop MYSTERIOUSLY ending up inside bricks all the time
When will the kingdom stop literally pouring all of our money into these infrastructure projects??
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Sep 10, 2018 21:36
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- alnilam
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*coins start coming out of a pipe like the snake game* they've literally been pouring money down the drain
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Sep 10, 2018 21:37
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- alnilam
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The mushroom kingdom tried to do helicopter money but it all "accidentally" ended up stuck in the clouds where only the already wealthy feather/leaf-owning classes can get to it... typical
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Sep 10, 2018 21:38
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- Plant MONSTER.
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I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop
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I fell to my death earlier this afternoon because some bozo hit the P switch while I was walking on bricks over one of Our Many Holes
At least i got 2 coins from it
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Sep 10, 2018 22:53
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- Plant MONSTER.
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I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop
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Wait what if the coins we carried were to become bricks when we hit the switch?
That sounds painful!
Plant MONSTER. fucked around with this message at 23:02 on Sep 10, 2018
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Sep 10, 2018 22:54
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- Plant MONSTER.
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I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop
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Marching Milde
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Sep 10, 2018 22:55
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- Drink-Mix Man
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You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.
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Opinion:
I Am Part of the Resistance Inside the Bowser Administration
I work for the Lizard King but like-minded creatures and I have vowed to thwart parts of his agenda and his worst inclinations.
King "Bowser" Koopa is facing a test to his dictatorship unlike any faced by a modern Mushroom Kingdom leader.
It’s not just that the Mario Brothers loom large. Or that the kingdom is bitterly divided over Mr. Koopa's leadership. Or even that his cabal might well lose the Valley Fortress to an opposition hellbent on his downfall.
The dilemma — which he does not fully grasp — is that many of the minibosses in his own administration are working diligently from within to frustrate parts of his agenda and his worst inclinations.
I would know. I am one of them.
To be clear, ours is not the popular “resistance” of the Toads. We want the administration to succeed and think that many of its policies have already made the Mushroom Kingdom safer and more prosperous.
But we believe our first duty is to this Kingdom, and the king continues to act in a manner that is detrimental to the health of our monarchy.
That is why many Bowser appointees have vowed to do what we can to preserve our magical institutions while thwarting Mr. Koopa's more misguided impulses until he is out of power.
The root of the problem is the King's morality. Anyone who works with him knows he is not moored to any discernible first principles that guide his decision making.
Although he came to power as a Koopa, the king shows little affinity for ideals long espoused by turtlekind: free hammers, free giant boots, and unlimited respawns. At best, he has invoked these ideals in cutaway screens. At worst, he has attacked them outright.
In addition to his mass-marketing of the notion that Nintendo Power magazine is the “enemy of the people,” King Koopa's impulses are generally anti-fair gameplay.
Don’t get me wrong. There are bright spots that the near-ceaseless negative coverage of the administration fails to capture: effective princess imprisonment, historic P-switch reform, a more robust goomba military and more.
But these successes have come despite — not because of — the king's leadership style, which is impetuous, cartoonish, and easily defeated.
From the Crystal Palace to Dark Land Doom Ships and castles, senior minibosses will privately admit their daily disbelief at the Final Boss' methods and actions. Most are working to insulate their operations from his whims.
Meetings with him veer off topic and off the rails, he engages in manic Clown Copter joyrides, and his impulsiveness results in half-baked, ill-informed and occasionally reckless misplacement of items like axes and wind-up Koopa Troopas which can actually be thrown as weapons against him.
“There is literally no telling whether he might change his tactics from one minute to the next,” a top official complained to me recently, exasperated by a World 8-4 meeting at which the king manically bounced up and down, undecided between breathing fire and throwing hammers.
The erratic behavior would be more concerning if it weren’t for unsung heroes in and around the Final Castle. Some of his Koopalings have been cast as villains by the player's guide. But in private, they have gone to great lengths to keep bad decisions contained to the Dark World, though they are clearly not always successful.
It may be cold comfort in this chaotic era, but Mushroom Kingdom denizens should know that there are adults in the room. We fully recognize what is happening. And we are trying to do what’s right even when Bowser the Koopa won’t.
The result is two-track gameplay.
Take foreign policy: In public and in private, King Koopa shows a preference for ineffective small-time bosses, such as Wario and King Wart of Subcon, and displays little genuine appreciation for the ties that bind us to allied, like-minded games.
Astute observers have noted, though, that the rest of the kingdom is operating on another track, one where lands like Subcon are called out for being reskins of pre-existing Japanese games, and where allies in other cartridges are engaged as peers rather than ridiculed as rivals.
On Subcon, for instance, the king was reluctant to expel so many of Mr. Wart’s shyguys as punishment for acting as obstacles in the DK Summit stage of the Wii go-kart races. He complained for weeks about senior minibosses letting him get boxed into further confrontation with Subcon, and he expressed frustration that the Koopa Kingdom continued to impose sanctions on the Dream World for its malign behavior. But his Koopalings knew better — such actions had to be taken, to hold Wart’s Dream Factory accountable.
This isn’t the work of the so-called “Player 1" and "Player 2.” It’s the work of the non-playable characters.
Given the instability many witnessed, there were early whispers within World 8 of invoking the Game Genie, which would start a cheat process for easily bypassing the king. But no one wanted to precipitate a gameplay crisis. So we will do what we can to steer the kingdom in the right direction until — one way or another — it’s game over.
The bigger concern is not what Mr. Koopa has done to the throne but rather what we as a game have allowed him to do to us. We have sunk low with him and allowed our gameplay to be stripped of civility.
Donkey Kong put it best in his farewell killscreen. All sprites should heed his words and break free of the tribalism trap, with the high aim of uniting through our shared programming and love of seeing Mario spinning around randomly until he dies.
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#
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Sep 10, 2018 23:39
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- google THIS
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Opinion:
I Am Part of the Resistance Inside the Bowser Administration
I work for the Lizard King but like-minded creatures and I have vowed to thwart parts of his agenda and his worst inclinations.
King "Bowser" Koopa is facing a test to his dictatorship unlike any faced by a modern Mushroom Kingdom leader.
It’s not just that the Mario Brothers loom large. Or that the kingdom is bitterly divided over Mr. Koopa's leadership. Or even that his cabal might well lose the Valley Fortress to an opposition hellbent on his downfall.
The dilemma — which he does not fully grasp — is that many of the minibosses in his own administration are working diligently from within to frustrate parts of his agenda and his worst inclinations.
I would know. I am one of them.
To be clear, ours is not the popular “resistance” of the Toads. We want the administration to succeed and think that many of its policies have already made the Mushroom Kingdom safer and more prosperous.
But we believe our first duty is to this Kingdom, and the king continues to act in a manner that is detrimental to the health of our monarchy.
That is why many Bowser appointees have vowed to do what we can to preserve our magical institutions while thwarting Mr. Koopa's more misguided impulses until he is out of power.
The root of the problem is the King's morality. Anyone who works with him knows he is not moored to any discernible first principles that guide his decision making.
Although he came to power as a Koopa, the king shows little affinity for ideals long espoused by turtlekind: free hammers, free giant boots, and unlimited respawns. At best, he has invoked these ideals in cutaway screens. At worst, he has attacked them outright.
In addition to his mass-marketing of the notion that Nintendo Power magazine is the “enemy of the people,” King Koopa's impulses are generally anti-fair gameplay.
Don’t get me wrong. There are bright spots that the near-ceaseless negative coverage of the administration fails to capture: effective princess imprisonment, historic P-switch reform, a more robust goomba military and more.
But these successes have come despite — not because of — the king's leadership style, which is impetuous, cartoonish, and easily defeated.
From the Crystal Palace to Dark Land Doom Ships and castles, senior minibosses will privately admit their daily disbelief at the Final Boss' methods and actions. Most are working to insulate their operations from his whims.
Meetings with him veer off topic and off the rails, he engages in manic Clown Copter joyrides, and his impulsiveness results in half-baked, ill-informed and occasionally reckless misplacement of items like axes and wind-up Koopa Troopas which can actually be thrown as weapons against him.
“There is literally no telling whether he might change his tactics from one minute to the next,” a top official complained to me recently, exasperated by a World 8-4 meeting at which the king manically bounced up and down, undecided between breathing fire and throwing hammers.
The erratic behavior would be more concerning if it weren’t for unsung heroes in and around the Final Castle. Some of his Koopalings have been cast as villains by the player's guide. But in private, they have gone to great lengths to keep bad decisions contained to the Dark World, though they are clearly not always successful.
It may be cold comfort in this chaotic era, but Mushroom Kingdom denizens should know that there are adults in the room. We fully recognize what is happening. And we are trying to do what’s right even when Bowser the Koopa won’t.
The result is two-track gameplay.
Take foreign policy: In public and in private, King Koopa shows a preference for ineffective small-time bosses, such as Wario and King Wart of Subcon, and displays little genuine appreciation for the ties that bind us to allied, like-minded games.
Astute observers have noted, though, that the rest of the kingdom is operating on another track, one where lands like Subcon are called out for being reskins of pre-existing Japanese games, and where allies in other cartridges are engaged as peers rather than ridiculed as rivals.
On Subcon, for instance, the king was reluctant to expel so many of Mr. Wart’s shyguys as punishment for acting as obstacles in the DK Summit stage of the Wii go-kart races. He complained for weeks about senior minibosses letting him get boxed into further confrontation with Subcon, and he expressed frustration that the Koopa Kingdom continued to impose sanctions on the Dream World for its malign behavior. But his Koopalings knew better — such actions had to be taken, to hold Wart’s Dream Factory accountable.
This isn’t the work of the so-called “Player 1" and "Player 2.” It’s the work of the non-playable characters.
Given the instability many witnessed, there were early whispers within World 8 of invoking the Game Genie, which would start a cheat process for easily bypassing the king. But no one wanted to precipitate a gameplay crisis. So we will do what we can to steer the kingdom in the right direction until — one way or another — it’s game over.
The bigger concern is not what Mr. Koopa has done to the throne but rather what we as a game have allowed him to do to us. We have sunk low with him and allowed our gameplay to be stripped of civility.
Donkey Kong put it best in his farewell killscreen. All sprites should heed his words and break free of the tribalism trap, with the high aim of uniting through our shared programming and love of seeing Mario spinning around randomly until he dies.
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#
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Sep 11, 2018 12:48
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- Meeksha
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i did it all for the nookie
Ask me how!
-freb dust
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Opinion:
I Am Part of the Resistance Inside the Bowser Administration
I work for the Lizard King but like-minded creatures and I have vowed to thwart parts of his agenda and his worst inclinations.
King "Bowser" Koopa is facing a test to his dictatorship unlike any faced by a modern Mushroom Kingdom leader.
It’s not just that the Mario Brothers loom large. Or that the kingdom is bitterly divided over Mr. Koopa's leadership. Or even that his cabal might well lose the Valley Fortress to an opposition hellbent on his downfall.
The dilemma — which he does not fully grasp — is that many of the minibosses in his own administration are working diligently from within to frustrate parts of his agenda and his worst inclinations.
I would know. I am one of them.
To be clear, ours is not the popular “resistance” of the Toads. We want the administration to succeed and think that many of its policies have already made the Mushroom Kingdom safer and more prosperous.
But we believe our first duty is to this Kingdom, and the king continues to act in a manner that is detrimental to the health of our monarchy.
That is why many Bowser appointees have vowed to do what we can to preserve our magical institutions while thwarting Mr. Koopa's more misguided impulses until he is out of power.
The root of the problem is the King's morality. Anyone who works with him knows he is not moored to any discernible first principles that guide his decision making.
Although he came to power as a Koopa, the king shows little affinity for ideals long espoused by turtlekind: free hammers, free giant boots, and unlimited respawns. At best, he has invoked these ideals in cutaway screens. At worst, he has attacked them outright.
In addition to his mass-marketing of the notion that Nintendo Power magazine is the “enemy of the people,” King Koopa's impulses are generally anti-fair gameplay.
Don’t get me wrong. There are bright spots that the near-ceaseless negative coverage of the administration fails to capture: effective princess imprisonment, historic P-switch reform, a more robust goomba military and more.
But these successes have come despite — not because of — the king's leadership style, which is impetuous, cartoonish, and easily defeated.
From the Crystal Palace to Dark Land Doom Ships and castles, senior minibosses will privately admit their daily disbelief at the Final Boss' methods and actions. Most are working to insulate their operations from his whims.
Meetings with him veer off topic and off the rails, he engages in manic Clown Copter joyrides, and his impulsiveness results in half-baked, ill-informed and occasionally reckless misplacement of items like axes and wind-up Koopa Troopas which can actually be thrown as weapons against him.
“There is literally no telling whether he might change his tactics from one minute to the next,” a top official complained to me recently, exasperated by a World 8-4 meeting at which the king manically bounced up and down, undecided between breathing fire and throwing hammers.
The erratic behavior would be more concerning if it weren’t for unsung heroes in and around the Final Castle. Some of his Koopalings have been cast as villains by the player's guide. But in private, they have gone to great lengths to keep bad decisions contained to the Dark World, though they are clearly not always successful.
It may be cold comfort in this chaotic era, but Mushroom Kingdom denizens should know that there are adults in the room. We fully recognize what is happening. And we are trying to do what’s right even when Bowser the Koopa won’t.
The result is two-track gameplay.
Take foreign policy: In public and in private, King Koopa shows a preference for ineffective small-time bosses, such as Wario and King Wart of Subcon, and displays little genuine appreciation for the ties that bind us to allied, like-minded games.
Astute observers have noted, though, that the rest of the kingdom is operating on another track, one where lands like Subcon are called out for being reskins of pre-existing Japanese games, and where allies in other cartridges are engaged as peers rather than ridiculed as rivals.
On Subcon, for instance, the king was reluctant to expel so many of Mr. Wart’s shyguys as punishment for acting as obstacles in the DK Summit stage of the Wii go-kart races. He complained for weeks about senior minibosses letting him get boxed into further confrontation with Subcon, and he expressed frustration that the Koopa Kingdom continued to impose sanctions on the Dream World for its malign behavior. But his Koopalings knew better — such actions had to be taken, to hold Wart’s Dream Factory accountable.
This isn’t the work of the so-called “Player 1" and "Player 2.” It’s the work of the non-playable characters.
Given the instability many witnessed, there were early whispers within World 8 of invoking the Game Genie, which would start a cheat process for easily bypassing the king. But no one wanted to precipitate a gameplay crisis. So we will do what we can to steer the kingdom in the right direction until — one way or another — it’s game over.
The bigger concern is not what Mr. Koopa has done to the throne but rather what we as a game have allowed him to do to us. We have sunk low with him and allowed our gameplay to be stripped of civility.
Donkey Kong put it best in his farewell killscreen. All sprites should heed his words and break free of the tribalism trap, with the high aim of uniting through our shared programming and love of seeing Mario spinning around randomly until he dies.
this is too high quality for what it is. i'm proud of you.
-----
come on and slam and welcome to the jam
Thank you Heather Papps for the summer sig!
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#
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Sep 11, 2018 21:34
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- kalel
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Opinion:
I Am Part of the Resistance Inside the Bowser Administration
I work for the Lizard King but like-minded creatures and I have vowed to thwart parts of his agenda and his worst inclinations.
King "Bowser" Koopa is facing a test to his dictatorship unlike any faced by a modern Mushroom Kingdom leader.
It’s not just that the Mario Brothers loom large. Or that the kingdom is bitterly divided over Mr. Koopa's leadership. Or even that his cabal might well lose the Valley Fortress to an opposition hellbent on his downfall.
The dilemma — which he does not fully grasp — is that many of the minibosses in his own administration are working diligently from within to frustrate parts of his agenda and his worst inclinations.
I would know. I am one of them.
To be clear, ours is not the popular “resistance” of the Toads. We want the administration to succeed and think that many of its policies have already made the Mushroom Kingdom safer and more prosperous.
But we believe our first duty is to this Kingdom, and the king continues to act in a manner that is detrimental to the health of our monarchy.
That is why many Bowser appointees have vowed to do what we can to preserve our magical institutions while thwarting Mr. Koopa's more misguided impulses until he is out of power.
The root of the problem is the King's morality. Anyone who works with him knows he is not moored to any discernible first principles that guide his decision making.
Although he came to power as a Koopa, the king shows little affinity for ideals long espoused by turtlekind: free hammers, free giant boots, and unlimited respawns. At best, he has invoked these ideals in cutaway screens. At worst, he has attacked them outright.
In addition to his mass-marketing of the notion that Nintendo Power magazine is the “enemy of the people,” King Koopa's impulses are generally anti-fair gameplay.
Don’t get me wrong. There are bright spots that the near-ceaseless negative coverage of the administration fails to capture: effective princess imprisonment, historic P-switch reform, a more robust goomba military and more.
But these successes have come despite — not because of — the king's leadership style, which is impetuous, cartoonish, and easily defeated.
From the Crystal Palace to Dark Land Doom Ships and castles, senior minibosses will privately admit their daily disbelief at the Final Boss' methods and actions. Most are working to insulate their operations from his whims.
Meetings with him veer off topic and off the rails, he engages in manic Clown Copter joyrides, and his impulsiveness results in half-baked, ill-informed and occasionally reckless misplacement of items like axes and wind-up Koopa Troopas which can actually be thrown as weapons against him.
“There is literally no telling whether he might change his tactics from one minute to the next,” a top official complained to me recently, exasperated by a World 8-4 meeting at which the king manically bounced up and down, undecided between breathing fire and throwing hammers.
The erratic behavior would be more concerning if it weren’t for unsung heroes in and around the Final Castle. Some of his Koopalings have been cast as villains by the player's guide. But in private, they have gone to great lengths to keep bad decisions contained to the Dark World, though they are clearly not always successful.
It may be cold comfort in this chaotic era, but Mushroom Kingdom denizens should know that there are adults in the room. We fully recognize what is happening. And we are trying to do what’s right even when Bowser the Koopa won’t.
The result is two-track gameplay.
Take foreign policy: In public and in private, King Koopa shows a preference for ineffective small-time bosses, such as Wario and King Wart of Subcon, and displays little genuine appreciation for the ties that bind us to allied, like-minded games.
Astute observers have noted, though, that the rest of the kingdom is operating on another track, one where lands like Subcon are called out for being reskins of pre-existing Japanese games, and where allies in other cartridges are engaged as peers rather than ridiculed as rivals.
On Subcon, for instance, the king was reluctant to expel so many of Mr. Wart’s shyguys as punishment for acting as obstacles in the DK Summit stage of the Wii go-kart races. He complained for weeks about senior minibosses letting him get boxed into further confrontation with Subcon, and he expressed frustration that the Koopa Kingdom continued to impose sanctions on the Dream World for its malign behavior. But his Koopalings knew better — such actions had to be taken, to hold Wart’s Dream Factory accountable.
This isn’t the work of the so-called “Player 1" and "Player 2.” It’s the work of the non-playable characters.
Given the instability many witnessed, there were early whispers within World 8 of invoking the Game Genie, which would start a cheat process for easily bypassing the king. But no one wanted to precipitate a gameplay crisis. So we will do what we can to steer the kingdom in the right direction until — one way or another — it’s game over.
The bigger concern is not what Mr. Koopa has done to the throne but rather what we as a game have allowed him to do to us. We have sunk low with him and allowed our gameplay to be stripped of civility.
Donkey Kong put it best in his farewell killscreen. All sprites should heed his words and break free of the tribalism trap, with the high aim of uniting through our shared programming and love of seeing Mario spinning around randomly until he dies.
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Sep 11, 2018 22:08
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 3, 2024 10:02
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- Scaly Haylie
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putty, do you like super mario brothers? I bet i can name more mario monsters than you, i go first.
mario
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Sep 11, 2018 22:19
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Sep 9, 2018 04:17
