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Artemis J Brassnuts
Jan 2, 2009
I regret😢 to inform📢 I am the most sexually🍆 vanilla 🍦straight 📏 dude😰 on the planet🌎
// there was a dumb joke here. It’s gone now.

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Artemis J Brassnuts
Jan 2, 2009
I regret😢 to inform📢 I am the most sexually🍆 vanilla 🍦straight 📏 dude😰 on the planet🌎
I bet if you reversed that and pitched it down a bit it would sound like somebody revving a Harley.

Artemis J Brassnuts
Jan 2, 2009
I regret😢 to inform📢 I am the most sexually🍆 vanilla 🍦straight 📏 dude😰 on the planet🌎
Wow that video is absolutely jam-packed (much like the pedestrian’s underwear)

Artemis J Brassnuts
Jan 2, 2009
I regret😢 to inform📢 I am the most sexually🍆 vanilla 🍦straight 📏 dude😰 on the planet🌎

Kamrat posted:

This seems like a very American thing, I've never heard about or seen flamethrowers being used like this over here in Sweden.
I’ve seen something very similar to the first one used in Malmö to burn weeds coming up between cobblestones.

Artemis J Brassnuts
Jan 2, 2009
I regret😢 to inform📢 I am the most sexually🍆 vanilla 🍦straight 📏 dude😰 on the planet🌎
I dunno, looks like he also has to live in 2022 like the rest of us; isn’t that enough?

Artemis J Brassnuts
Jan 2, 2009
I regret😢 to inform📢 I am the most sexually🍆 vanilla 🍦straight 📏 dude😰 on the planet🌎
I was not ready for that hellbeast gif to be the first thing I saw after waking up this morning.

Artemis J Brassnuts
Jan 2, 2009
I regret😢 to inform📢 I am the most sexually🍆 vanilla 🍦straight 📏 dude😰 on the planet🌎

HenryEx posted:

So what about if every inch of a flat surface in your house is covered in dog hair and you need to fold your laundry free handing it in the air in front of you, what's your genius solution then tough guy

Dehumanize yourself and face to dogshed.

Artemis J Brassnuts
Jan 2, 2009
I regret😢 to inform📢 I am the most sexually🍆 vanilla 🍦straight 📏 dude😰 on the planet🌎

HenryJLittlefinger posted:

It actually looks like 100% of them are having a good time together doing something they enjoy

(looks out my front window to the guys burning a cross in my lawn) aw lookit all those guys having fun doing something they enjoy together.

Artemis J Brassnuts
Jan 2, 2009
I regret😢 to inform📢 I am the most sexually🍆 vanilla 🍦straight 📏 dude😰 on the planet🌎
Yes and the young lady upthread just has a developmental issue that impedes her ability to drink champagne normally. I see nothing erotic about a lifetime of challenges and wasted alcohol.

Artemis J Brassnuts
Jan 2, 2009
I regret😢 to inform📢 I am the most sexually🍆 vanilla 🍦straight 📏 dude😰 on the planet🌎
Hey man, when ya gotta go, ya gotta go

Artemis J Brassnuts
Jan 2, 2009
I regret😢 to inform📢 I am the most sexually🍆 vanilla 🍦straight 📏 dude😰 on the planet🌎
I work in video games, so I kind of have the opposite experience; I’m over 40 but I’m so steeped in internet culture as a result of keeping up with industry trends that I relate really well to people younger than me but we never hang out because I have kids and they’re out late partying.

You still get the occasional hyper-aging moment when you’re telling someone about a game you played in high school and they’re like “that came out before I was born”.

Artemis J Brassnuts
Jan 2, 2009
I regret😢 to inform📢 I am the most sexually🍆 vanilla 🍦straight 📏 dude😰 on the planet🌎
You fell into the trap of thinking that anything in anime has any consideration beyond “does this look cool or express my fetish?”

Artemis J Brassnuts
Jan 2, 2009
I regret😢 to inform📢 I am the most sexually🍆 vanilla 🍦straight 📏 dude😰 on the planet🌎

hawowanlawow posted:

appropriately there's a guy in the youtube comments saying this simpsons joke is about one of them loving the machine and jizzing in it
The Simpsons meme thread gets one of these people occasionally; I think half the posts there are in-jokes based on such misunderstandings.

Artemis J Brassnuts
Jan 2, 2009
I regret😢 to inform📢 I am the most sexually🍆 vanilla 🍦straight 📏 dude😰 on the planet🌎

Unperson_47 posted:

Do they even make those absurd comedy movies like Hot Shots and Naked Gun anymore?

No, because mirth and laughter are for children and we’re all definitely grown-ups - not maladjusted manbabies cargo-culting the trappings of adulthood - who only watch movies that take themselves very seriously and have explosions and swears and boobs.

Artemis J Brassnuts
Jan 2, 2009
I regret😢 to inform📢 I am the most sexually🍆 vanilla 🍦straight 📏 dude😰 on the planet🌎

Android Apocalypse posted:

Zoinks!

That great dane seems kinda small.

To be fair, we don’t know how tall the lady is.

// edit: okay I didn’t notice there was another page where someone did my joke better but I will leave my shame here as a lesson for the ages

Artemis J Brassnuts has a new favorite as of 19:16 on Oct 4, 2023

Artemis J Brassnuts
Jan 2, 2009
I regret😢 to inform📢 I am the most sexually🍆 vanilla 🍦straight 📏 dude😰 on the planet🌎

minato posted:

Reminds me of the Sopranos theme where they took the time to record the guy with just one line who screeches "woke up this morning!" near the end.
That’s a real song that they edited down to use as a theme song: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Woke_Up_This_Morning?wprov=sfti1

Artemis J Brassnuts
Jan 2, 2009
I regret😢 to inform📢 I am the most sexually🍆 vanilla 🍦straight 📏 dude😰 on the planet🌎

poo poo Fuckasaurus posted:

If something was here, it's gone now

Large Testicles posted:

it's still there, try refreshing or it's something on your end

I think they mean “emotionally”

Artemis J Brassnuts
Jan 2, 2009
I regret😢 to inform📢 I am the most sexually🍆 vanilla 🍦straight 📏 dude😰 on the planet🌎

Deteriorata posted:

Pretty sure it's a Goliath Tigerfish, native to Congo.
That’s why this is the best forum. Goons and their random knowledge never cease to amaze me.

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Artemis J Brassnuts
Jan 2, 2009
I regret😢 to inform📢 I am the most sexually🍆 vanilla 🍦straight 📏 dude😰 on the planet🌎
Why do I feel like they’re about to ask me to be their third?

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