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In 2006, Sean Payton and the New Orleans Saints took a chance on a quarterback whom many had believed suffered a career ending shoulder injury. That man was Drew Brees, who, since becoming the quarterback of the Saints has gone on to become the most prolific and accurate passer in the history of the league. However, I'm not here to talk to you about Brees. His story is well known, and his credentials to the Hall of Fame are easily verified. I want to talk about a different player. Sketch Zephyr entered the league in 2006, and is the very definition of a journeyman quarterback. Every week he is traded to a different team, and as a result, has played for every single team EXCEPT for the New Orleans Saints. A native of New Orleans, Zephyr dreamed of playing football in his home state, but his dreams began to turn into bitter resentment when not a single University in the state offered him a scholarship. Fortunately for Sketch, his story didn't end there, as he was offered by an out of state JuCo and was eventually able to make an impact on a number of NFL scouts. When the 2006 Combine came around, Mickey Loomis made some very inappropriate remarks about Sketch's family and ever since he's vowed to never play for any team inside of the Louisiana state line. Starting today, I will chronicle the career of this mysterious, yet undeniably all time great quarterback, and illustrate just how badly the Saints missed by leaving this prodigal talent undrafted. In 2006, Drew Brees would be named the NFL's comeback player of the year, as he rebounded from a grave shoulder injury to put up some of the best stats in the league. code:code:A.o.D. fucked around with this message at 15:35 on Sep 29, 2018 |
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Sep 28, 2018 00:43
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| # ¿ May 11, 2024 16:38 |
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2007 brought with it a great deal of hope for the fans of the New Orleans Saints. The previous season, they had a near-miraculous 10-6 season that put them on top of the NFC South, and was good enough for the 2nd seed in the playoffs, earning the team its first ever first round bye. They had beaten the Eagles for a second time that season, earning their second ever playoff victory, and first ever trip to the NFC championships. They got spanked pretty hard by the Super Bowl bound Chicago Bears, however. All in all, it was a down year for the the NFC, as 10-6 is rarely good enough to earn a bye in the playoffs. The Indianapolis Colts would emphasize this lack of parity by thoroughly trouncing the Sexy Rexy led bears. So the 2007 season began. Nearly everyone predicted that the Saints would have another successful year, building upon the success from last year. They had a lot of things going for them, a revitalized Quarterback picked up at a bargain, a first time head coach who was doing some innovative things on offense, a flashy Heisman winning running back paired with a bruising between the tackles veteran, and a defense that seemed at the very least competent. The Saints made what they thought was a key acquisition in the offseason, bringing in Jason David from the superbowl winning Colts. Everyone thought things were looking up. Here's what Drew Brees did that year: code:Meanwhile, Sketch Zephyr saw significant improvement from his rookie campaign, and had passer ratings over 100 in fully 8 of his games that season and threw for 30 touchdowns. If Tom Brady hadn't gone insane with his 50 touchdowns that year, Sketch might have been in the conversation for MVP. Clearly, things were looking up for Sketch. code:A.o.D. fucked around with this message at 15:28 on Sep 29, 2018 |
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Sep 28, 2018 12:18
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By year three, the honeymoon is over. By this point a player or coach is expected to have Figured Things Out, and we're supposed to have a clear idea of what their future holds. This wouldn't be the case for either the Drew Brees led Saints or for our guy Sketch Zephyr. Both had disappointing seasons, and in the Saints' case, a downright unlucky one. The Saints would outscore their opponents 463-393, but only end the season at 8-8 in the Standings. The defense would continue to stagnate, with 2007 acquisition Jason David's efforts in the secondary being graded worse than an uncovered receiver being thrown to, thanks to David's penchant for racking up Defensive Holding and Defensive Pass Interference penalties. However, it wasn't the Saints secondary that was losing games, but rather, the team's inability to run the ball and stop the run. Deuce McAllister was Done, and by now it was clear that no one had to respect Reggie Bush between the tackles. For his part, Drew Brees saw his number get called a LOT more, and his ball security improved, even in spite of his much higher usage rate. Except for his completion percentage, all of his stats improved, and he nearly broke Dan Marino's long standing record of most passing yards in a single season. How close did he get? Well, if he'd made one more completion as time expired in the last game of the season against the Carolina Panthers, the record would have been his. The Panthers even obliged by going back into deep prevent coverage, meaning that the record should have been Brees' for the taking. Alas, it wasn't meant to be, at least, not that year. In fact, Brees had a strong argument for being the best quarterback in the league, but Peyton Manning was the bigger name, had the bigger endorsements, and his team went to the playoffs, so that's how these things go. code:He had a few other good games, but Sketch turned in some massive stinkers. For some reason, when he played for the Oakland Raiders, he put on an extra 50 pounds and didn't bother to learn the playbook. He managed to drop the weight by the next game, but the stink from that game seemed to follow him for a while, and manifested again when he played for the Lions. Nothing he tried to do seemed to go well in that game, even though he was throwing the football to a 50 foot tall Decepticon. code:A.o.D. fucked around with this message at 15:23 on Sep 29, 2018 |
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Sep 29, 2018 12:50
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Crescent Wrench posted:I love this. I also love this thread. Can we get the touchdown/INT totals for the seasons too? Yeah, I'll do that, plus I just realized I was using a bad formula to determine the rate stats for Sketch, so I'm going to go back and revise those numbers. Like I said, I'm not the best guy to be doing this, but whatever. A.o.D. fucked around with this message at 15:23 on Sep 29, 2018 |
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Sep 29, 2018 15:20
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2009. Man, that was a bad year for our man Sketch. He threw, like, SO many interceptions. How many? 26. In just 16 games. Most quarterbacks would have gotten benched halfway through the season with that kind of performance. 2009, of course, was the best year the Saints ever had. They won 13 games straight, and went on to win the Superbowl. The team hired a new defensive coordinator, Gregg Williams and the Saints got fat off of their defensive production, setting a record of interceptions returned for a touchdown*. The offense did its part, too. Pierre Thomas came into his own as the feature running back, and though he was far from the best runner between the tackles, he had magic hands (for a back) and was a wizard when Sean Payton dialed up a screen play. Drew Brees did well, too. Very well, in fact. He set the league record for passing accuracy for the first time. He logged better passing stats than Peyton Manning, the league MVP, for the second time. He'd be named Superbowl MVP after logging an essentially flawless performance in the February 2010 game. (Note, post season stats aren't tracked here, just regular season) code:code:
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Oct 1, 2018 11:53
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2010 saw a regression for the New Orleans Saints. Not to being bad, but to being merely very good. Their defense's ability to generate turnovers at a freakish rate tapered off drastically, and their flaws began to manifest again. They couldn't stop the turn. They were overaggressive on playcalling. They weren't as good as their hype even though they were still playing dirty. The offense was still incredibly good, although without the defense feeding them extra possessions and short fields, their TD efficiency came back down to earth. The NFC South was tough that year, and going 11-5 was only good enough for a wild card slot. Their flaws on defense would lead to them getting bounced out of the playoffs by a 7-9 Seahawks squad, and probably put the most prominent entry on Marshawn Lynch's hall of fame resume. All of Drew Brees' rate stats regressed this season, even though his total yards and completions went up. It was a pro bowl year for him, but no better than that. His interception total doubled from last season garnering comparisons to Brett Favre, who retired after this season. code:code:
A.o.D. fucked around with this message at 12:56 on Oct 2, 2018 |
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Oct 2, 2018 12:49
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If you've been following this thread, you've been thinking to yourself "What the hell is this guy talking about? Except for one exceptional year, all I've seen is a hell of a lot of mediocrity and one of the worst seasons in recent history." Well hold on to your asses, rear end-holders, because Sketch Zephyr is going to take off... next season. Still, 2011 seemed like it should have been a good year for the New Orleans Saints. 2009 and 2010 were very productive seasons, and the team was looking to pick back up where it left off in spite of an early exit in the playoffs last year. THey started at 5-3, a respectable rate, but then proceeded to finish the rest of the season 8-0, and looked nearly unstoppable heading into the playoffs. The offense, if anything looked to be even better than it had been before, and the defense was hoping to return to its winning ways after a somewhat disappointing 2011. A defense schemed up by this guy:  Gregg loving Williams. Behind the scenes, good ol' Gregg had been running a paid head-hunting program that the league front office had gotten wind of and ordered to shut down. At first the team had been warned to stop that poo poo, but our buddy Gregg said "gently caress it, I just won a Superbowl, I can do whatever the gently caress I want" \ and proceeded to keep on doing whatever the gently caress it was he though he was doing. He also made adjustments to the Saints' defense. No longer did he need to scheme up coverages, or disguise packages, naw, that poo poo is for pussies. Gregg Williams declared and proceeded to send everybody rushing directly at the quarterback at historical rates. While this did rattle lesser quarterbacks and rookies still getting used to the pace of the NFL, this also left the secondary out on an island in coverage waiting to get exposed, and also opened up huge chunks of the backfield for any running back that could make it past the line of scrimmage. Man, gently caress Greggggggg Williams. Drew Brees had a great year. It was probably the best year of his career, statistically speaking, and should have been good for an MVP nod. Instead, Aaron Rodgers decided to throw no interceptions and make every other pass a touchdown, so he rightfully got it instead. Drew would have to settle for another All-pro spot, breaking his own pass completion percentage record, and finally breaking Dan Marino's single season passing record. code:code:
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Oct 4, 2018 00:23
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Is, uh, anyone reading this?
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Oct 4, 2018 16:16
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Barudak posted:Its a low badwith forum abd yes Excuse me sir, but there is plenty of bad and it has a lot of width.
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Oct 4, 2018 16:25
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I'll try to have an update tomorrow. I've been held up by trying to photoshop an rear end on top of Gregg Williams' neck in such a way that you guys can tell the difference from his normal arrangement, and I'm not having much luck.
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Oct 6, 2018 03:41
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2012. That was a really bad year for the Saints. 2011 ended in the second round of the playoffs in which the Saints fell short in a game against the 49ers on an Alex Smith touchdown run that saw something like 4 lead changes in the 4th quarter (don't @ me, I'm not bothering to look it up, it was one of the best playoff games of all time, so go watch it if you haven't already). The off-season saw bombshell after bombshell unloaded by the league office about a pay-for-performance scheme by the defense that was quickly dubbed "Bountygate". Details had been leaked about the scheme, and how big hits and injuries were rewarded. I'm not going to recap the whole thing, and if you want to catch up, you can do so by reading here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Orleans_Saints_bounty_scandal Needless to say, everyone was duly outraged, hands were wrung, and poo poo was posted. It was a great time for all. League toadstool Roger Goodell saw an opportunity to take some moral high ground and whip out his authoritative dick, two of his three favorite activities* handed out steep penalties an suspensions. Here's a quick summation of those suspensions: Sean Payton, as the head coach and man responsible for all team activities, was suspended for a full season. Gregg Williams, the architect and executor of the pay for performance scheme, was suspended indefinitely. Mickey Loomis, the Saints director of personnel, was suspended for half a season for failing to shut the program down. Joe Vitt, the Saints linebackers coach, was handed a 6 game suspension and would serve as an interim coach for the remainder of the season while Sean Payton was out. A number of defensive players were also handed suspensions. Here's a summary of what happened after the league handed out their penalties: None of the players served any suspensions. What was particularly galling is that at least one of the players penalized definitively had nothing to do with the program and was simply penalized because "he was a team captain". That guy was Scott Fujita. Who is Scott Fujita? https://www.theplayerstribune.com/en-us/articles/steve-gleason-scott-fujita-documentary-saints Just some guy that carried another guy with ALS up a mountain so that guy could visit Macchu Picchu. No big deal. It was discovered that  had possibly run bounty programs at other teams he'd coached for; to include the Tennessee Titans (including the game in which Peyton Manning received the neck injury that would cost him a season and eventually his career), the Washington Redskins, and as head coach of the Buffalo Bills. The League opted to not pursue any investigations into the conduct of those teams during Williams' career.Sean Payton went off to the Caribbean to put some moves on some thoroughly disinterested women. He would serve his entire suspension. Meanwhile, Gregg Williams would run to the league, blubber out some mea culpas, and actually be reinstated a full week before Sean Payton's suspension would end. A year is a year, but indefinite? Meh, whatever. As for the actual conduct of the Saints players? Well, they must have been really awful at their jobs, because they injured players at a rate below the league average. On to the actual season. The Saints would start their campaign with 4 reasonably close losses. They would go on to end the season 7-9, which was disappointing for the amount of talent on the team, but far above expectations considering everything else that happened to the team. Steve Spagnuolo was an absolute disaster as a defensive coordinator and the defenses he coordinated rarely made effective adjustments and were typically not suited to the personnel available to him. Aaron Kromer, the O-line coach, filled in for Joe Vitt for the first six games as head coach, and he was clearly overmatched in the role. Vitt, the long-time assistant head coach and linebackers coach, would do much to steady the ship and keep the entire season from turning into a shitfest. Even with everything working against the Saints, the offense was still spectacular. Brees had found a new favorite target in Jimmy Graham, and week after week would see the Saints engaging in, and almost as often as not winning, a high scoring shootout. There was even one game where the Saints won a 41-0 shutout over Tampa Bay. Jesus Christ, Tampa, get your poo poo together. In all, Brees had another great year, but because of the defensive ineptitude, was forced to make throws that were questionable or even impossible. His interception rate went up, and his completion percentage went down. He had yet another 5000+ yard season, and threw a bunch of touchdowns, mostly because that was the only way the team could win. For almost any other quarterback who had ever played the game, this would have been a good year. For Brees, this was a slightly down season. code:code:* his third favorite being destroying the players' union. A.o.D. fucked around with this message at 14:59 on Oct 6, 2018 |
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Oct 6, 2018 14:51
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The 2013 season saw the reinstatement of head coach Sean Payton and a new DC in Rob Ryan. Things improved immediately. Offensive production increased and the defense gave up fewer big plays through the air, and Mark Ingram had become a valuable running back. The team looked very much like its old self circa 2011, but with the addition of an improved running attack. This season would see the Saints win every home game, which combined with 2011, means that New Orleans hadn't lost at home under Sean Payton since the last game of the 2010 season. It looked like the woes of 2012 were an anomaly brought about by the heavy handed penalties of Bountygate. The team would make it back to the playoffs, only to be bounced out in the divisional round by the ascendant Seahawks. Drew Brees rebounded from his reduced output last season. While his raw touchdown count went down, his efficiency went up, and he protected the ball more. The team didn't miss the extra touchdowns, as the running game became far more efficient, which helped Brees make better decisions as he rarely needed to force the ball into difficult situations. For a second straight year he broke the 5000 yard mark, and this made the fourth time he'd done so. code:code:
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Oct 8, 2018 18:14
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2014 came and went with a wet fart. The Saints lost to good teams, they lost to bad teams. They lost when they should have won, even when they won, they couldn't put teams away. Curiously, they managed to get a win over a good Green Bay packers team and a decent Pittsburgh Steelers, but other than that, they kind of sucked. Rob Ryan's defense couldn't protect a lead, and once the opposing team had a lead, they surrendered touchdowns faster than the prolific offense could generate them. For most of the season, anything less than perfection by the Saints offense was a recipe for disaster. Drew Brees was good, but not good enough to bail out the team. With him, they were 7-9. Without him, they probably would have been in contention for the 1st overall draft pick. He wouldn't set any records this year, nor would he get any sort of recognition for his futile efforts to bail out the team, but he kept at it, never taking a snap off, and producing at his expected high level. With the defense sucking rear end, he had to force the ball a lot more than last season, which accounts for his modest drop in production and efficiency. code:code:
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Oct 10, 2018 23:58
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Sweeper posted:This is a good thread and I guess the saints defense isn’t as bad as I previously imagined Sadly, this narrative isn't including the running stats. Also, bear in mind the entire time the Saints are putting up losing seasons, they're near or at the top of offensive production in the league. The only reason why this team has produced mixed results over the past 12 years is because of the defense. Other than the 2006 NFCCG and the A.o.D. fucked around with this message at 11:04 on Oct 11, 2018 |
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Oct 11, 2018 00:52
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This is it. The post you've probably been waiting for. Today is the day Sketch Zephyr goes super saiyajin 2015, pops all the performance enhancing drugs, and goes absolutely batshit insane. Just take a look at this poo poo:  Who are those lines on the spreadsheet you might ask? IT DOESN'T MATTER. Guys who are riding the pine this year posted career games in 2015 against the Saints. Week after week the guy under center benefited from the performance enhancing drug known as the Saints Defense. By my reckoning, 6 different quarterbacks had the best games of their career against the Saints that season. For Brees' part, he did not let the team down, though he did miss a game thanks to an injury to his throwing shoulder, the same one that had been repaired during the 2006 offseason that led the elite QB to the Saints as a free agent. This would be only the 2nd game Drew would miss, and the 1st he'd miss due to injury. Drew put up his typically excellent numbers, but they just didn't matter. With half the team being so abjectly miserable, he'd be ignored, and unjustified speculation that his career was done would begin in earnest this season. code:Sketch would feast upon the Saints defense all season long. His worst game was merely good, his best games, and there were many of them, would count as career days for almost every quarterback that had ever played the game. In our world, Cam Newton won the MVP, but here, Sketch wins it, and it the voting isn't even close. Even in losing efforts Sketch was almost always the best quarterback on the field. He was accurate, efficient, and prolific. code:Next time: More of the same. A.o.D. fucked around with this message at 00:50 on Oct 15, 2018 |
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Oct 14, 2018 14:13
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Barudak posted:Something you didnt touch on is Sketch Zephyr sets the single seaon passing yardage record and its not close. He's never broken 5000 yards.
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Oct 14, 2018 22:30
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Barudak posted:Im missing something here because if you average 365 yards a game over 16 games you end up well north of 5000 Very good catch. My Formulae were all hosed up. Like I said, I'm not very good at this. Sketch still had an amazing year, and his hallmark has been efficiency, not raw stats, though his raw numbers this year were still pretty great. A.o.D. fucked around with this message at 00:53 on Oct 15, 2018 |
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Oct 15, 2018 00:50
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How many consecutive years can a team finish 7-9 and not be labelled  ? The Saints would post their 3rd straight 7-9 season, their 4th in the past 5 years, and their 6th in Sean Payton's 11 year tenure*. Amazingly, the team never did get called that. The offense was too stellar, the defense was too putrid. The only aspect of the team that could be considered average was special teams, as they did little to help or hurt the team's overall chances.*reminder that 2012 was the suspension season. That's not to say there was no attempt to improve. Rob Ryan was given the boot after his 2015 defense proved to be the worst in league history. Dennis Allen was promoted to take his place and some personnel changes were made, though they weren't enough. The pass defense was nearly as bad as last year, and teams knew to air it out at will. Turnovers were generated at a very low rate, and too many games required the offense to score 30+ points just to stay competitive. What was more frustrating was the defensive unit's lack of consistency. They produced a few decent games, but at their worst they were every bit as bad as the previous season. There was some reason to hope, however. The 2016 defense proved to be effective at the run, and the Saints were considerably more effective on the ground than their opponents. Drew Brees blah blah carried the team,  let's laugh the people that suggested he was done, tl;dr he was "merely" great. Oh yeah, and he had yet another 5000+ yard season. No biggie.code:code:
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Oct 19, 2018 01:49
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It's 2017, and we've come to the end of our journey so far. The Saints would finally claw their way out of the mire of mediocrity, but not without some changes. Long time Payton cohort Joe Vitt was fired from the time, as was most of the coaching staff. This was almost certainly a job saving measure by Sean Payton, as three consecutive years of 7-9 finishes had eroded most of the patience he'd earned from the good years, as well as the Superbowl victory. Dennis Allen was brought in to be the DC, and an almost completely new staff installed around him. In truth, this only marginally improved the Saints' defensive performance that season, as what really mattered was that the team had produced one of the greatest draft classes in its history. This year the Saints would have both the Defensive and Offensive Rookies of the year in Marshon Lattimore and Alvin Kamara. They'd gain 4 wins from the previous year, finishing the regular season at 11-5, take the NFC South over the Carolina Panthers (whom they managed to defeat three times that year), and lose to the Minnesota Vikings on a missed tackle as time expired in the divisional round of the playoffs. A disappointing end, to be sure, but a massive improvement over the previous three years. Some of Drew Brees' raw stats saw a sharp decline from previous seasons. His touchdowns were way down, but so were his interceptions. A closer look showed that his efficiency was way up. Thanks to the combined rushing attack of Kamara and Ingram, the most effective rushing duo in the league, Drew no longer needed to carry the team. His passing attempts went down, as did his yardage, but his yards per attempt went up, as did his passer rating, even though, or rather, BECAUSE he was throwing the ball less. For the entirety of Drew's career in New Orleans, he was always the first look to make a play happen, but 2017 finally saw that dynamic shift, and it wasn't at all because of Drew's age. When he had to, he was more than capable of carrying the team on his shoulders. He just didn't have to as much. On a final note, Brees would again set a new record for best completion percentage all time. code:code:
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Oct 25, 2018 23:51
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| # ¿ May 11, 2024 16:38 |
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WinnebagoWarrior posted:Yeah this is what I was going to ask for. It would also be cool to find someone who put up very similar numbers in a similar time span (like how pfr does automatically ) but I have no idea if there is an easy way to do that It'd be easy to do on a year by year basis, but in order to do it on a career basis, you'd have to compile a SHITLOAD of stats. I ain't doin' that poo poo. Nuh uh. I'll do a career to date for Sketch, and compare him to the QB he was closest to each season in a future post.
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Oct 27, 2018 21:38
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