|
It's October! Let's write some scary, spooky, creepy, and otherwise seasonally-appropriate short stories and win FABULOUS PRIZES! Horror stories are great, but not everyone can get into a horror-writing vibe. Feel free to go broader on the prompt, just give us something that feels "right" for Halloween--a down-on-his-luck wizard who works at a haunted house, or teen angst at a costume party. (Disclaimer: judges may dislike teen angst) If you’re feeling uninspired, request a SPOOKY FLASH RULE and we will give you something you must incorporate into your piece. Maybe a picture, maybe a one-sentence idea, maybe a song if we can’t come up with anything else. The rules 6,666 words or less No fanfiction (it's ok to write in a public-domain milieu like the Cthulhu Mythos, or to draw from folklore, just don't make it straight-up Harry Potter And The Sexy Ghosts) No erotica Post the story in the thread (no Google Docs) and don't edit it after you post. Just because the word limit is high doesn't mean you have to write a ton of words. Have pity on the judges. A 1000 word story has as much chance of winning as one that hits the word limit.  The DEADline Friday October 26 2018, 11:59PM PST. Winners announced on Halloween. The Prizes The prizes will be Something Awful upgrades, in the interest of buying Lowtax a new spine. If you already have every upgrade you want, you can designate somebody else to receive your prize.
The Judges Pham Nuwen Thranguy Antivehicular  Signups/Flash Rules You don't have to sign up to compete, but it's good motivation to actually finish your story. Flash rules will also be recorded here.
Pham Nuwen fucked around with this message at 22:20 on Oct 16, 2018 |
#
¿
Oct 6, 2018 17:15
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ May 15, 2024 00:41 |
|
|
Capfalcon posted:Signing up. Give me a SPOOKY FLASH RULE too! I'd prefer not a song, if it's all the same. Your story is set in/around that creepy old house
|
|
#
¿
Oct 8, 2018 19:03
|
|
|
incredible flesh posted:i'm in and i'm up for a flash rule, given you shot my harry potter and the sexy ghosts idea out of the water like a bunch of fascists Your flashrule is sexy ghosts (still no erotica allowed)
|
|
#
¿
Oct 9, 2018 04:55
|
|
|
SolusLunes posted:Flashrule me, I need to write more and suck less Your flashrule: 
|
|
#
¿
Oct 9, 2018 15:27
|
|
|
Here's another cool image if anybody wants to use it as inspiration: No ring, 7/10
|
|
#
¿
Oct 11, 2018 14:45
|
|
|
Aleph Null posted:I would like to participate in your contest. Your story takes place in the desert
|
|
#
¿
Oct 13, 2018 00:39
|
|
|
Sitting Here posted:hmmm i want to try to write about this Ok, use the picture AND All your characters must be animals. Rad-daddio posted:yo hit me with a flash rule! Forget creepy kids, I want you to tell me a scary story about old people Pham Nuwen fucked around with this message at 03:52 on Oct 15, 2018 |
|
#
¿
Oct 15, 2018 03:50
|
|
|
Weltlich posted:Signing up, and go ahead and give me a flash rule too. An eerie radio broadcast
|
|
#
¿
Oct 16, 2018 22:19
|
|
|
Everyone remember that it's only 1 week until the submission deadline! Write fast, write well.
|
|
#
¿
Oct 20, 2018 04:27
|
|
|
Elephant Parade posted:Good on you for getting into writing, then. Let the judges decide about the paragraphs (they certainly seem to have made you poo poo your pants). Take it to the fiction advice thread if you want.
|
|
#
¿
Oct 23, 2018 17:10
|
|
|
Antivehicular posted:To follow up on this: if you want to critique other people's entries, that's great, but wait until after the contest is over and don't be a dick about it. I'll leave it up to Pham as to whether those critiques should be posted here or elsewhere. Crits are welcome in this thread AFTER the contest is over.
|
|
#
¿
Oct 23, 2018 18:19
|
|
|
Submissions close in just over 2 days so finish up and get ready to submit your story!
|
|
#
¿
Oct 25, 2018 01:27
|
|
|
Submissions are CLOSED!
|
|
#
¿
Oct 27, 2018 15:18
|
|
|
Goblins and ghouls, witches and werewolves, warlocks and wargs, the results are in. We asked for some bone-chilling tales, but got plenty of eye-rolling tales instead (and one boner-chilling tale). After deliberation, the judges have picked winners (and losers!). First, the good news. The Numbers Station by Weltlich takes first place; although it’s not by any means a horror story or even particularly scary, it feels lonely and isolated and it hits the flash rule squarely. In second place is MURDER by Saucy_Rodent, a well-written story about crows and cannibals that was only slightly brought down by an annoying stylistic affectation. Third place goes to A House That Breathes by SENTIENT HOUSEMEAT, purely on the strength of the Lovecraftian style. Congrats to you all; contact me either via PM or by emailing phamnuwenSA@gmail.com in order to claim your prizes, or just post up an email address here. I considered not having any losers, but some of you wet yourselves before you even got into the haunted house. The loss is shared between Ghost Tour by Aleph Null, in which poor execution and poorer editing let down a potentially cool idea, and Untitled (Not 6666 Words) by Despera for a hard-to-follow story with way too much focus on child penises. Special shout-outs go to Elephant Parade for making GBS threads on Aleph Null’s story while failing to submit his own story, and to incredible flesh aka avshalom for whatever that was. SolusLunes, I’m disappointed I didn’t get to read a story based on that gif. Chili, Sitting Here, and Slughead42, I’m just disappointed in you for failing to submit. I've got brief crits for all entries and will post them in the next day or so. At this point, winners having been announced, anyone who feels compelled to crit stories may go ahead and post those critiques too.
|
|
#
¿
Nov 1, 2018 05:22
|
|
|
Here's my crits. Although I had to create the anonymized document containing the stories for the judges to use, I did my best to forget who wrote what and judge them purely as stories (I don't know most of you anyway). I edited in users & flash rule stuff after judging. The Watchers of Santa Lucia - Rad-daddio This needed editing. There’s a handful of mistakes in the first paragraph that might have been caught given another pass. The first two paragraphs are also infodumpy as HELL. Feels like you could have explained the watchers in dialog between Aaron and the old man instead of another infodump And don’t use interrobangs. “The metamorphosis was like watching a couch unravel and deflate.” is not a particularly, uh, approachable metaphor. I rarely see couches unravel and they NEVER deflate. Aaron barely does anything; mostly he watches, and even when he takes action, it’s hardly of his own choice: “the thought caused him to kneel down”, “Before Aaron knew what was happening, he was running down the hillside.” He’s not active. That was a weird ending. Aaron was “saved” by the magical Indian who lives at peace with nature and blah blah, theoretically halting the transformation… but then at the end he appears to embrace the transformation, turn into a monster, and glory in the slaughter of the Watchers. This felt like a cut subplot from a Dresden Files novel. I love me some secret orders of immortal dudes, but old missionaries eternally murdering shape-shifting Native Americans for no apparent reason beyond… spite? is not quite what I’m looking for. Low, possible loss (Flash rule use: I’ll give you this, it is a story about scary old people.) Ghost Tour - Aleph Null “tanned skin, framing a tight smile” what was framing the smile? Her tanned skin? I mean… I guess. Ok this is a story with a lot of problems despite a concept which could have been interesting. You needed to edit this a LOT. You need to figure out how paragraphs work. Descriptions are all over the place. You also have a bad habit of omitting the first dialog attribution in an exchange between two people in places where it’s not quite clear who’s talking right now. On the other hand, I’m cool with the core concept. Weird insect colonies are trying to be human? Why? Do they want to lure in travelers and eat them? Do they just yearn to be humans? I’m into it. Putting them in a haunted house makes sense if they’re trying to go relatively unnoticed, although I mean being bugs they probably could have just hidden when the guys showed up. How did these dudes originally mistake a huge pile of bugs on the floor for mold, though? Note that our character does nothing except complain (to no effect) to his friend and then pull the rolls out of the oven. When his friend comes back with the cliched DUDE WE GOT TO LEAVE RIGHT NOW, JUST BELIEVE ME WE GOTTA LEAVE, they go, and then at the end he sees the spoooOOooky pictures that made his friend a cliched catatonic. This wasn’t a good story, but it was an ok idea. Low. (Flash rule use: You barely, barely touched it.) The Numbers Station - Weltlich Oh snap it’s an after-the-bombs story, I like those. Don’t disappoint. “I’m from Buenos Aires, and I say kill ‘em all!” Ok I didn’t take a lot of notes because I was pretty into this the whole way through. It’s not a scary story, except in the sense that it’s scary to think about dying alone in an almost empty world. Miguel’s motivations and characterization are great. Now, I don’t know Russian, and I didn’t get much back from Google Translate when I pasted some of the phrases in (probably would have had better luck with Cyrillic), but if I understand right, she’s telling him not to communicate any more because… some demented Soviet general is sitting behind her shooting missiles at anyone who responds? I’d have appreciated some broken English on her part as she tries to make him understand that he needs to shut up. Good story. High. (Flash rule use: Very good. You even did good on some radio terminology like “keyed up”) Sexy Ghosts - incredible flesh Goonish inability to put an earnest effort into anything strikes again, which is a drat shame because I wanted to read a (non-erotic) story about sexy ghosts.... They really get my ectoplasm rising, if you know what I mean. Possible loss for cowardice. (Flash rule use: lol) MURDER - Saucy_Rodent I liked this story. It’s funny that we’ve had (so far) two stories about animals taking human shapes. I actually don’t think the human-shaped Murder was necessary; I would have been completely happy with a small group of crows following her around and saying the same things. The crows seem to have such contempt for humans it feels strange that they would take human form. I have to assume it was a conscious choice to start like 25% of your sentences with the word “And”. People do that when they want to have a heavy, ominous-sounding story, old-fashioned feeling because modern style recommends against it. I also recommend against it. Can you imagine a whole novel written like that? It can be effective in small doses, but it goes from effective to grating in about 1 page. I like the end. Good job. High. The Creepy Old House That No One Lives In - Capfalcon This Jason kid is totally a ghost or some poo poo trying to get Pete into the house… oh yeah the reveal comes pretty quick, doesn’t it. Story was so quick I barely got settled into it. I enjoyed not knowing, honestly not knowing, if Pete was going to get out. Here’s my opinion: I would have liked to see Pete get out. I would have liked a little more time spent in the house, exploring the house. I would have liked to have a LITTLE more time before Jason gets revealed as a ghost. I think having Pete get trapped and repeat the cycle turns it more to the “Scary Stories to Tell In The Dark” children’s ghost story sort of thing, and looking at the title I think you may be giving a nod in that direction. It was decently written, easy to follow, no big glaring errors. If you intended it as an homage to kid stories, I think you succeeded. If not, well… Mid. (Flash rule use: Appropriate.) Untitled, ‘not 6666 words’ - Despera What the hell is “Chappa Kai tongue-job”? Sounds like a lesbian Goa’uld or something. You needed to edit this. What does “After all planes fall out of the sky all the time, it’s just not as often are the survivors immediately mass murdered.” mean? (it becomes clearer later, yes) I’m glad we’re informed that the murderous natives of this island do not practice circumcision. This was a loving weird story, poorly edited, sometimes incoherent, with motivations and reactions and timeline all over the place. Where the gently caress did “she could already imagine [her son] a grown up frat boy diddling some unsuspecting sorority girl like it was a favor” come from, and why? Low. Quite low. A House That Breathes - SENTIENT HOUSEMEAT A couple paragraphs in: you’re channeling Lovecraft nicely. Nice use of ‘daubed’. Am I entirely clear: this guy sat trapped in his room without food or water for about 11,000 days? Or was he just counting seconds? Either way he spent at least a few days in that room. The story feels like a combination of Lovecraft, the briefest outline of “House of Leaves”, and two tracks from Neil Cicierega’s “Spirit Phone” album (‘When He Died’ and ‘Cabinet Man’). I like it. I just wish there was more. I wanted another 1500 words after he gets stuck in the house, and maybe a few hundred more as he explores it before it locks him in. High. (Flash rule use: Good. Sadly the house didn’t appear to be made of meat but that was optional.) The Lady of Milwaukee - Ravioli Khameni Ok in terms of technical execution you did fine here. Decent descriptions, etc. My problem is that nobody does anything. Joshua pushes buttons but nothing happens. Darlene waves a flare but nothing happens. They paddle but it doesn’t do much. “Three people see a ghost ship while one of them thinks about how hot the other two are” isn’t much of a story. Also, if there was a point to having Darlene thinking about banging the other two, I didn’t figure it out. Mid. Untitled - Railing Kill Don’t preface your stories with excuses. If a guy says “pinched by the cops” this better take place before, oh, 1970. And then “grandpappy” and “duds” It must be a hard job making traps big enough to catch a fir. “Shotgun-toting goons” So did this guy breed a bull or a heifer? Because I gua-ron-teeeee there’s a difference, podner. Also, rodeo bulls don’t have reins, they have a rope. Ok look, you have got to pick a voice for this guy and stay with it. Don’t just throw in whatever random colloquialisms and idioms you can dredge up, or else the guy ends up sounding like a 30s mobster mixed with an old-timey prospector mixed with a modern fiction author. All-dialog stories are risky, but this could have worked if you had a consistent voice for the speaker and dropped the dual cliches of “evil raving rural Christian cultist who all the idiot hicks immediately follow” (he was literally foaming at the mouth at one point, wasn’t he?) and “the cops were in on it the whole time!!!!!!”. Low middle. (Flash rule use: Rodeo clowns kick rear end, so good job there.) Screams in the Basement - Screaming Idiot Short and sweet. I liked it. (Next time don't use "Scream" or "Idiot" in your title, this was the one story whose author I remembered for that reason) High.
|
|
#
¿
Nov 1, 2018 18:34
|
|
|
Weltlich posted:
That's an interesting explanation and one I'd be interested to read in full. If you do decide to write it all out, feel free to post here of course, I think all 3 of the judges would love to read it. I see you've already got plat and an avatar, but you can PM me for any other gift cert option you want (except a new smilie obviously)
|
|
#
¿
Nov 2, 2018 02:40
|
|
|
Railing Kill posted:Thanks for the crits! In a weird way, it's good to hear my misgivings about the clown's voice were justified. Thanks for entering! I think I got as Thunderdome with your entry as with any, but I've got a lot of respect for anybody who's willing to take a crack at horror because in my opinion it's hard.
|
|
#
¿
Nov 2, 2018 03:01
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ May 15, 2024 00:41 |
|
|
I'm not dead I just had to go work out of town for 2 weeks with no days off and too drat tired to think about anything in the evenings. I will get prizes out, just gotta pick the right avatars.
|
|
#
¿
Nov 17, 2018 01:31
|
|