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aperion
May 15, 2007

i want to believe
Grimey Drawer

Maybe, but those first two series came from the 2016 Chargers.

Series 1:
Run for no yards.
Confused timeout.
Pick-6.

Series 2:
Checkdown pass
RB hit behind the line, barely gets back to it.
Incomplete pass
Punt

Series 3 is gonna be:
Run set up from QB under center for no gain
Incomplete pass
Timeout/Delay of Game because playcall wasn't gotten in on time.
Incomplete Pass
Punt

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aperion
May 15, 2007

i want to believe
Grimey Drawer

Quiet Feet posted:

You know how after you watch a team for a little while you kind of get an idea of what their office is supposed to be? Like a bruising rushing attack, deep passing game, etc? What in the hell is this Cardinals offense supposed to be? They suck. Obviously they suck but what is it they're actually trying to do?

Mike McCoy would answer this question by saying that he runs the Erhardt-Perkins playstructure.

aperion
May 15, 2007

i want to believe
Grimey Drawer
The Cardinals don't get to loving play the Immigrant Song with how poo poo they're playing tonight.

aperion
May 15, 2007

i want to believe
Grimey Drawer

420_Power_Rangers posted:

They only get public domain songs with this effort

elevator music from a Vegas off-strip casino is too good for them

aperion
May 15, 2007

i want to believe
Grimey Drawer
ahahahaahahahaha holy poo poo Mike McCoy can't loving call plays in time here either!

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aperion
May 15, 2007

i want to believe
Grimey Drawer
Real talk, I'm gonna try to lay out why Mike McCoy (Cardinals OC) is utter poo poo. Because this game is everything I saw when he was the head coach for the Chargers (San Diego variety).

1. Runs up the gut all day every day. In San Diego, Rivers would line up in shotgun for most all run games, and it was obvious. Defenses could stack the box because they didn't fear Melvin Gordon going anywhere except up the center's rear end. David Johnson does not have the offensive line or the skills to power run like that. He's loving fast, he needs to bounce to the outside. He kicks the poo poo out of defensive secondary players in open space.
2. Run > Run > Pass > Punt. Also known as 'trying to establish the run'. McCoy is obsessed with establishing the run, even when he's got one of the best QBs available.
3. McCoy doesn't actually have an offensive identity in mind. I said it sarcastically earlier, but he really would say he runs the Erhardt-Perkins system in response to the question of "What do we do?"
4. He doesn't communicate worth a poo poo. Three times tonight, the play was either confused or too late. Blowing timeouts in that fashion is entirely too familiar to me. Now the Cardinals have it. To expand on this point, McCoy had this problem with Ken Whisenhunt as his OC, then Frank Reich, then Whisenhunt again, now he's OC and it's happening again.
5. Another problem with McCoy not communicating -- he can't tell you what sort of players he needs because he doesn't have any talent in player evaluations at all. He plugs them into HIS system. He doesn't change his system for the personnel available. Ever. The only times he's been successful, he blindsided other teams with an unpredictable Tim Teebow, then Peyton Manning who could overcome his lovely playcalling, then a season with Rivers who could overcome his lovely playcalling, but even that wore off after long enough.
6. When he became HC for the Chargers in 2013, he had a good playbook, which I assume he built that offseason because it was his job. But he has not updated his playbook since. Seeing the Cards play tonight, it's loving predictable as ever. He made the playoffs that year despite all odds as a rookie head coach. But the year after, nothing changed. And the year after that, and after that. And lo and loving behold, the Chargers got worse with every year offensively.

Yeah, that's a lot of words to say Mike McCoy shouldn't be employed in football for any reason ever. But I don't feel like I've missed any of this game typing this poo poo up.

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