Ask me about weirdos in public libraries!

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Ask me about weirdos in public libraries!

Proteus Jones: Feb 28, 2013

JacquelineDempsey posted:

Shrimp Guy

That�s awesome and you�re awesome for that.

(So is your co-worker letting him snag food from the buffet)

# ¿ Oct 22, 2018 22:45

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# ¿ May 21, 2024 10:26

Proteus Jones: Feb 28, 2013

My Lovely Horse posted:

Once I had to tell a lady that she'd already racked up �80 in late fees for some books she wanted to renew. I braced myself for a big ugly discussion, but all she said was "oh really? Shoot, but I guess it happens", all very calmly. After she'd paid and left I looked in her account to see what she'd been so hooked on.

Ten books on conflict management.

Well, poo poo. Looks like she read them at least.

# ¿ Oct 25, 2018 15:43

Proteus Jones: Feb 28, 2013

I pay part of your salary!
:eng101:

I will give you precisely $1.75 of service, if that's your attitude. My attention is all yours.
:byodood:

Well, you see I need...
:eng101:

Times up!

# ¿ Oct 26, 2018 13:15

Proteus Jones: Feb 28, 2013

Anomalous Library Incident is my band�s name.

# ¿ Oct 31, 2018 00:17

Proteus Jones: Feb 28, 2013

JacquelineDempsey posted:

County, well... we had less to work with, all they had was a big community room, no fancy lighting or sound. But they also had tons of country acreage surrounding the building. One year, a youth services librarian piped up: "I can bring a unicorn!"

She owned a few horses, one of which was that pure white you always see in movies. She crafted a horn for him, very nice handiwork. He was a very docile horse that accepted not only wearing that, but being surrounded by people. The librarian tethered (roped? leashed? I don't know the right term, I'm no equestrian) him right outside the library, much to the delight of all the HP fans flocking to that event.

While poor Freckles thought of ants and died, this guy got harassed by children for hours and was way more chill than I would have been being surrounded by squeeing tweens wearing robes, waving sticks, and yelling faux Latin spells. All while wearing a fake horn strapped to his head. That horse deserves a medal, maybe made of carrots or something.

This is amazing and wonderful and probably a (ahem) magical thing for those kiddos.

# ¿ Nov 10, 2018 02:15

Proteus Jones: Feb 28, 2013

AnonymousNarcotics posted:

I liked the City Watch series the best. Start with Guards! Guards!

Vimes is my spirit animal

# ¿ Jan 5, 2019 00:37

Proteus Jones: Feb 28, 2013

Lurking Haro posted:

Ignoring the article for archiving is better form.

Yeah, that'd be like sorting every band that started with "The" under "T".

# ¿ Oct 21, 2019 14:17

Proteus Jones: Feb 28, 2013

Grand Prize Winner posted:

Imagine if you drop a penny or a key or something when you're on the top floor.

CLANG CLANG CLANG GLANG

If I dropped a key, that clanging would be accompanied by a very loud "GOD drat IT!"

# ¿ Dec 29, 2019 07:16

Proteus Jones: Feb 28, 2013

Mary Annette posted:

I'll give you the Reader's Digest version:

Over twenty years ago, a child checked out a book from their elementary school library that their father thought was inappropriate, and he devoted his life from that day forward to having extremely wrong opinions about the operations and governance of school and public libraries. He would scour the internet every day for mentions of 'library porn', offering to help every small-town wingnut who wanted Harry Potter or Pokemon removed from the shelves under the guise of 'local control'. A former patent attorney, he had just enough legal knowledge to impress laypeople, but routinely got destroyed by anyone with actual familiarity with libraries and the rules governing them.

Despite getting endlessly dunked on, he never admitted defeat, never conceded a single point, never acknowledged that his opponents could possibly be acting in good faith. He would rather hit himself in the dick with a hammer than admit he was wrong about anything, ever.

Eventually, his all-consuming crusade likely coupled with undiagnosed, untreated mental illness drove away his family and friends, save for other extremely online conspiracy theorists. By the time of his twitterban, his content was as much about George Soros, Pizzagate, and Qanon as the ALA.

All in all, a sad, strange little man, and my all-time favorite Internet Crazy Person.

More here for the masochistic:
https://litwinbooks.com/rory-litwin-interviews-safelibraries-dan-kleinman/

https://catecinem.wordpress.com/2011/10/20/kleinman/

Hold on. His whole thing started because a book *mentioned* skinny-dipping? I mean that's what I'm getting from the first link (which honestly I couldn't get far in, I kept getting Internet Angry)

# ¿ Aug 13, 2020 12:37

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# ¿ May 21, 2024 10:26

Proteus Jones: Feb 28, 2013

Scarodactyl posted:

It's a book about a giantess who likes skinny dipping so it could be totally innocent or someone inserting their fetish into a nominally innocent context (like Kevin and Kell). I'm sure as hell not going to try and judge that though.

Not the point, but OK

# ¿ Aug 16, 2020 22:50

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Ask me about weirdos in public libraries!