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E-commerce has created a situation where pretty much every niche thing you can imagine exists but a lot of things pretty much everyone wants still don't.

"Can I get a cure for cancer?"

"Nope."

"How about Buffalo Wild Wings Mango Habanero wing flavored chewing gum?"

"Traditional or boneless?"

"Traditional."

"Do you prefer drumette?"

"Flat is fine."

"Order two cases and it's free shipping."

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I'm here to kick rear end and chew rear end-flavored gum, and I'm all out of rear end.

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No thanks, I've seen that movie.

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Gum flavored gum, ad infinitum (infinigum?)

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Dubble Bubble? Ugh, I don't like blends. I only chew single bubble gum.

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It's a slice if you personally observed said gum being sliced off a full loaf of gum, a piece if the gum is considered a firearm, and a stick if it broke off of a gum tree.

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Triplemint
Quadent
6

The ghost of Victor Borge approves

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Carrie panics as she starts bleeding profusely in the shower. Suddenly Shakira walks in. "Looks like you're having a youthful event," she says. "Here, have some gum."

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