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Duzzy Funlop
Jan 13, 2010

Hi there, would you like to try some spicy products?
New Year resolution: maybe I should try dudes for a change

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Riot Carol Danvers
Jul 30, 2004

It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

Hot Karl Marx posted:

his comedy was always kinda like that but he's now fully leaning in into right wing/old bigot territory. ill be surprised if he gets many big shows after this, then against that racist puppet guy still tours so who knows

Dude goes and hides from the public because he got outed as a sexual predator, and the first thing he does when he comes back is insult the parkland shooting survivors.

Dude needs to go jerk off in a Quiznos and eat a lobster sandwich

Generation Internet
Jan 18, 2009

Where angels and generals fear to tread.

Holy gently caress what a piece of poo poo

Hot Karl Marx
Mar 16, 2009

Politburo regulations about social distancing require to downgrade your Karlmarxing to cold, and sorry about the dnc primaries, please enjoy!
Louis CK and Tim Allen will do an anti-PC police tour in '19

BigDave
Jul 14, 2009

Taste the High Country

Hot Karl Marx posted:

his comedy was always kinda like that but he's now fully leaning in into right wing/old bigot territory. ill be surprised if he gets many big shows after this, then against that racist puppet guy still tours so who knows

He's kinda merging into a hybrid of Dennis Miller and Andy Dick.

Riot Carol Danvers
Jul 30, 2004

It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

Hot Karl Marx posted:

Louis CK and Tim Allen will do an anti-PC police tour in '19

I hope their tour bus explodes

Vasudus
May 30, 2003
2018 went from being one of the best years to one of the worst for me so I'm glad it's almost over.

iKon
Oct 4, 2000

CAN'T TEST
WON'T TEST
gently caress YOU 2018

Casimir Radon
Aug 2, 2008


Duzzy Funlop posted:

New Year resolution: maybe I should try dudes for a change
Feel free to be the new GIP GAY. The old one isn't fun anymore.

Hot Karl Marx
Mar 16, 2009

Politburo regulations about social distancing require to downgrade your Karlmarxing to cold, and sorry about the dnc primaries, please enjoy!
get an account for that aerobatic gun guy and make him an admin

CommieGIR
Aug 22, 2006

The blue glow is a feature, not a bug


Pillbug

WAR CRIME SYNDICAT posted:

Dude needs to go jerk off in a Quiznos and eat a lobster sandwich

Well, for that to work, he has to be anti-vaxx too, like that lady was.

https://twitter.com/kelly2277/status/1079517233162960896

CommieGIR fucked around with this message at 22:16 on Dec 31, 2018

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbJDjNLzv8U

Godholio
Aug 28, 2002

Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

psydude posted:

The United Kingdom.

This is a really good one.

Handsome Ralph
Sep 3, 2004

Oh boy, posting!
That's where I'm a Viking!


Mattis' final words to the DOD.



https://www.washingtonpost.com/nati...m=.5aab9a87ceb2


What a loving turd. I think the only thing that gave me a slight chuckle was him talking about his mom sending him articles about him being a perv. Also, brilliant idea, try to dunk on kids who are pissed off about school shootings. That'll win you over with the public at large.

Handsome Ralph fucked around with this message at 22:43 on Dec 31, 2018

LongDarkNight
Oct 25, 2010

It's like watching the collapse of Western civilization in fast forward.
Oven Wrangler
Putting in a lot of effort to do no work for the last 90 minutes of 2018.

That Works
Jul 22, 2006

Every revolution evaporates and leaves behind only the slime of a new bureaucracy


.

Vasudus
May 30, 2003
I got to shake Mattis' hand today. I went over with my boss who was delivering a thank-you note and he was heading out the door to go do something. My boss got a challenge coin and talked to him for like five minutes.

1) He's quieter than I expected
2) He doesn't like being handed things

He then wrote a thank-you note to our office and had a runner deliver it about four hours later. We're gonna frame it.

MA-Horus
Dec 3, 2006

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

You never wash that hand again.

I'm up at a cottage in the Canadian wilderness and have spent 2 days drinking and skating on a frozen lake. poo poo owns.

Handsome Ralph
Sep 3, 2004

Oh boy, posting!
That's where I'm a Viking!


MA-Horus posted:

You never wash that hand again.

I'm up at a cottage in the Canadian wilderness and have spent 2 days drinking and skating on a frozen lake. poo poo owns.

loving jealous.

Duzzy Funlop
Jan 13, 2010

Hi there, would you like to try some spicy products?

Casimir Radon posted:

Feel free to be the new GIP GAY. The old one isn't fun anymore.

Yo, it's NYE, man, if I can manage to not be a dick to my girlfriend, don't be one either <3


I'm on my fifth beer, and I'm starting to feel kinda "relaxed" and "free" in the bottom of my heart, but it's probably also just the alcohol and I'll be loving shattered once I wake up in the morning. Or, more probably, when I have to get up three times during the night to go take a piss because of these loving anti-coagulants, UGH

Woof Blitzer
Dec 29, 2012

[-]
I’m smoking this big, legal joint.

dscruffy1
Nov 22, 2007

Look out!
Nap Ghost

Vasudus posted:

2018 went from being one of the best years to one of the worst for me so I'm glad it's almost over.

Sounds like my 2016. The good news it gets better, even if it's not fast.

2018 has been a year of weird highs and lows. The first week of the new year ought to be a good restart in a few ways. The last two weeks have been a struggle, but poo poo's almost through.

Duzzy Funlop posted:

Yo, it's NYE, man, if I can manage to not be a dick to my girlfriend, don't be one either <3

I'm on my fifth beer, and I'm starting to feel kinda "relaxed" and "free" in the bottom of my heart, but it's probably also just the alcohol and I'll be loving shattered once I wake up in the morning. Or, more probably, when I have to get up three times during the night to go take a piss because of these loving anti-coagulants, UGH

Good luck dude. Don't go too beer crazy.

Milo and POTUS
Sep 3, 2017

I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?

Handsome Ralph posted:

Mattis' final words to the DOD.



https://www.washingtonpost.com/nati...m=.5aab9a87ceb2


What a loving turd. I think the only thing that gave me a slight chuckle was him talking about his mom sending him articles about him being a perv. Also, brilliant idea, try to dunk on kids who are pissed off about school shootings. That'll win you over with the public at large.

It will win you over with the part of the public he's pandering to.

joat mon
Oct 15, 2009

I am the master of my lamp;
I am the captain of my tub.

In its entirety:

quote:

SUBJECT: Farewell Message

On February 1, 1865, President Lincoln sent to General Ulysses S. Grant a one sentence telegram. It read: "Let nothing which is transpiring, change, hinder, or delay your military movements, or plans."

Our Department’s leadership, civilian and military, remains in the best possible hands. I am confident that each of you remains undistracted from our sworn mission to support and defend the Constitution while protecting our way of life. Our Department is proven to be at its best when the times are most difficult. So keep the faith in our country and hold fast, alongside our allies, aligned against our foes.”

It has been my high honor to serve at your side. May God hold you safe in the air, on land, and at sea

Bummed that he didn't complete the phrase 'support and defend the Constitution,' with "against all enemies, foreign and domestic"

BigDave
Jul 14, 2009

Taste the High Country

Vasudus posted:

I got to shake Mattis' hand today. I went over with my boss who was delivering a thank-you note and he was heading out the door to go do something. My boss got a challenge coin and talked to him for like five minutes.

1) He's quieter than I expected
2) He doesn't like being handed things

He then wrote a thank-you note to our office and had a runner deliver it about four hours later. We're gonna frame it.

Is he a Skin Bracer or Old Spice man? This is important.

Duzzy Funlop
Jan 13, 2010

Hi there, would you like to try some spicy products?

dscruffy1 posted:

Sounds like my 2016. The good news it gets better, even if it's not fast.

2018 has been a year of weird highs and lows. The first week of the new year ought to be a good restart in a few ways. The last two weeks have been a struggle, but poo poo's almost through.


Good luck dude. Don't go too beer crazy.

It's all good, I'll drop another 20 pounds to feel better about myself and focus on advancing my career, poo poo's gonna be fine.

I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul and all

Handsome Ralph
Sep 3, 2004

Oh boy, posting!
That's where I'm a Viking!


Milo and POTUS posted:

It will win you over with the part of the public he's pandering to.

True, but his days of selling out the Kennedy Center and Madison Square Garden are long behind him.

Vasudus
May 30, 2003

BigDave posted:

Is he a Skin Bracer or Old Spice man? This is important.

old spice

generic old man cologne

rather disappointed it wasn't sulphur or napalm, the memes all lied

i asked my boss if it would be in bad form to have him sign a st. mattis picture and let me tell you, a month is not long enough of a time to work with your boss to ask that question

SquirrelyPSU
May 27, 2003


*deep breath*

Get hosed 2018. My decorum limiter gets disabled at 12:01. I will be maneuvering to punt a very particular piece of poo poo out of my life shortly and will be holding an MS and a Professional Engineering license this time next year.

I did good business things, but my personal life is a tire fire, and 2019 will be the resolution of such matters. Bring it on.

redneck nazgul
Apr 25, 2013

you know what, 2018 was pretty okay

went from the contracting gig to the actual civilian side for more money, more benefits

upgraded apartments, more space for cheaper

gonna start actually being a loving adult and saving money next year

CRUSTY MINGE
Mar 30, 2011

Peggy Hill
Foot Connoisseur
I grew up in an old spice house and I continue to use old spice. I just get the bearglove version. Also because Bruce.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xjX84gNrv8

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

i plan on spending 2019 as high and belligerent to non-leftists as possible

be gay do crime

Godholio
Aug 28, 2002

Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?
Between Bruce and Terry, Old Spice commercials have been wonderful for probably about a decade.

CRUSTY MINGE
Mar 30, 2011

Peggy Hill
Foot Connoisseur
Isaiah Mustafa had some great ones too.

I'm on a horse.

Vasudus
May 30, 2003
i've been redlining my career as hard as i can this year because my happiness left the country forever and unfortunately i'm pushing the absolute limits of how far i can go in a short time

so that's exciting

Bolow
Feb 27, 2007

some words of wisdom

https://twitter.com/officialmcafee/status/1079863420458074112

That Works
Jul 22, 2006

Every revolution evaporates and leaves behind only the slime of a new bureaucracy


EBB posted:

i plan on spending 2019 as high and belligerent to non-leftists as possible

be gay do crime

sharknado slashfic
Jun 24, 2011

My life has been going slowly but steadily downhill since 2016

maffew buildings
Apr 29, 2009

too dumb to be probated; not too dumb to be autobanned
Looking forward to 2019 being even worse for true believer military and civil service professionals than 2018 :)

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BUG JUG
Feb 17, 2005



EBB posted:

i plan on spending 2019 as high and belligerent to non-leftists as possible

be gay do crime

You're alright ebb you're all right.

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