As Nero Danced posted:

If big burly men in underwear and spandex grabbing each other and rolling around on the ground is fake, then I don't want to know what's real anymore.

Cugel the Clever posted:

Get thee to Urgent Care, you silly goon.

quote:

I am the queen of France.
I have a question as a military dependent-to-be, I hope it's ok to ask in this thread as other information resources have not been clear. Fiance is a 2nd Lt in the USAF.

Here's our situation:
Fiance is finishing up intel school at Goodfellow AFB, graduating in May. He just received orders to Kadena AB in Okinawa. I am planning on staying here until my work contracts are done at the end of 2014 then joining him early 2015. In order for the USAF to foot the bill for me to join him later, when should we get married?

Some sources say before he leaves so I'm on his orders from the start.

Some say we should wait until he gets there so his orders will be amended and hope I get command sponsorship.

His current command says if we get married now they'll "for sure" pay for me to move later but we both agree that sounds like a lot of bullshit.

Thoughts?

quote:

Go ask the career development folks at the MPF. Also pimp the TMO folks and ask them.

The final answer comes from one of those two sources. And in the end you have a 50/50 chance of being told the wrong thing anyway.

But you asked for thoughts, and after smoking a bowl and contemplating things, I had a thought I'd like to share with you.

Have you considered not marrying your fiancee?

I can count on one finger the number of guys that were USAF intel officers that I wouldn't line up outside the gas chambers if the fourth reich became a thing.

A few years from now, when you can't even stand to look at him without feeling a sense of extreme hatred and disappointment simultaneous to realizing that at 28 years old you spend 50% of your day thinking about becoming a divorcee, remember this advice: Run the gently caress away now.

Seriously, there is a 100% chance your fiancee is a tool and a loving nitwit. There is a 100% chance that he will be peer pressured into becoming a distilled version of fighter pilot gay bro'ness not by dudes that fly fighter jets, but other sperged out intel retard officers. He's going to start saying things like "Check, Rodge, Vector, Burner" and other associated lame as gently caress things, while also sometimes randomly wearing a flightsuit to work on Fridays despite his only flight time being the fam flight he poo poo his pants or puked his guts up during.

Also he's going to cheat on you. Oh man is he going to cheat on you. And there is a not too bad chance that it won't be with some good looking gal, but rather some dumb bitch enlisted intel girl that almost got a degree in psychology from her podunk state school before she decided she hated the taste of gargling frat sperm and dropped out and joined up to get a chance at being the hottest little twat in a windowless SCIF in Japan.

But don't worry about that breaking your heart, he'll never tell you. You'll be too busy caring for the 3-4 kids he demands you squeeze out in repayment to the base model BMW 3 series he's going to buy you when he gets to his second assignment at Tinker AFB.

When he's not deep dicking some borderline inbred dipshit Airman who's a civilian 5 and intel 12, he'll be lording over you how his job and career come first, and pray he doesn't make more money than you because that'll come up everytime you sigh audibly at the dinner table where you two will passive aggressively try to grind down each others will to live and breathe.

By this point as a captain he's going to be TDY 1-2 months a year, where he's getting half assed hand jobs from third tier strippers on excursions with the least socially inept enlisted guys in his flight-- this is probably the point where his raging alcoholism will be so clear and obvious to you that you two will start fighting every saturday before kick off when his colleges football team inevitably will take a beating. This fight won't stop until his next TDY when the sweet release of his toothless stripper infidelities and lack of home presence gives you time to bust out your big giant purple *BZZZZZ* friend whenever those walking talking pants making GBS threads machines you call children fall asleep long enough to let you deaden the nerves in your clitoris.

Soon after he'll take his third assignment, the one right before he pins on Major, and suddenly he'll be pressuring you into becoming a fundamentalist christian, and he'll delete all of his whores off of his facebook account and spend his home time posting image macros about 2nd amendment rights, and how jesus spoke english in the bible so these loving mexicans should too. At this point you two will be consigned to bi-annual loving, and only when you've drank enough cheap boxed wind to be able to stand the idea of him pounding away on you missionary style but still refusing to look you in the eyes.

This will also be the point when your oldest childs ADHD and pyromania are diagnosed, and one of your parents die. There is around a 85% chance one of you is going to be eating zoloft and klonopin out of loving pez dispensers, and waking up angry that the sweet release of death hasn't taken one of you out of this loveless hosed up marriage.

Somewhere in here the idea of swinging is going to come up casually as an almost joke when you are both in the blissful release of a nice drunken buzz, and one of you will actually be very open and interested in the idea. The other is going to wind up being an unhappy accomplice wondering why your partner wants to gently caress almost chubby guys with spray on tans, or watch the sacred hole through which your children came into this world be filled with all manner of different ethnicities of cock.

I'm late to bring this up, but sooner rather than later you're also going to screen positive for HPV, and your intel officer husband is going to take every bit of research skills he has from his job to convince you that you got it from donating blood or sitting on a toilet seat.

You didn't get it from the Red Cross or a trip to the shitter.

As it stands now though, you can walk the gently caress away and enjoy a life that I'm pretty sure would be better than the above. And you'll never have to see the inside of an officers wives meeting which is a lovecraftian hell that makes my description of your future seem like Charlie's trip through the chocolate factory.

LingcodKilla posted:

“I won’t debate with anyone who brings emotion to talks”

quote:

“It will put a weapon in your hand that you can conquer and begin to help other men,” Roberts says in the series trailer.

“The Conquer Series is designed for men’s small groups, but is also ideal for self-study,” the site advertises.

Bolow posted:

Woof Blitzer posted:

What is that man doing to his border??

Hot Karl Marx posted:

https://twitter.com/ESCochrane/status/1083503205538037760?s=19

Best Friends posted:

Park rangers are the best cops because they did not become Park rangers to be cops and they act really embarrassed about their cop functions.

Nice and hot piss posted:

I personally feel more inclined to protecting animals and wildlife (park ranger) than protecting humans (normal cop)

Melthir posted:

....did he just try to make a joke?

Vasudus posted:

he doesn't even have to wait for the va to kill him

facialimpediment posted:

Trump has been especially idiotic on twitter today, but gently caress that, here's what I want.

https://twitter.com/ajc/status/1084631946574118913

As Nero Danced posted:

Someone needs take Trump's phone away until a budget is passed, either with his signature or over his veto.

We need to treat our president like a drat 14 year old girl.

quote:

Trump not dumb enough

facialimpediment posted:

Edit: Wow, the BuzzFeed article made the Special Counsel's office talk!

https://twitter.com/BuzzFeedNews/status/1086419880025284608

Milo and POTUS posted:

On the brighter side you're usually going to be right

shame on an IGA posted:

I smell a great photoshop thread in the offing yall

LingcodKilla posted:

Sincerely,
Nancy “Big Balls” Pelosi

Richard Bong posted:

pilotwings 64, goldeneye, and Mario Kart 64

Crakkerjakk posted:

I grew up in Fairbanks. Gets down about -50 F every winter when I was living there.

I do not live there anymore, and would not want to move back. It's loving cold.

quote:

White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders on Friday said the arrest of former Trump campaign adviser Roger Stone has no links to President Trump, seeking to distance the president from the ensnarement of one of his close associates in the Russia investigation.

“This has nothing to do with the president and certainly nothing to do with the White House,” Sanders said on CNN. “This is something that has to do solely with that individual.”

Sanders downplayed Stone as “somebody who has been a consultant for dozens of Republican presidents and candidates and members of Congress,” even though he had been known to speak frequently with Trump after leaving his campaign in 2015.

BigDave posted:

"Who keeps doing that?"

MaxPowers posted:

Walls getting built boys, boy I love God Emperor Trump. Build that wall and build it tall!