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I honestly don't know how TV IV feels about singing competitions these days, but Fox's bizarre new show The Masked Singer might be something goons can get into because, as my household and the Internet in general seem to agree, it's just so god damned weird.  What Is it? Based on (copied from) the South Korean reality show King of Mask Singer, this singing competition is everything about the modern celebrity landscape and reality TV mashed together in a nightmarish pastiche featuring admittedly incredible costumes, synthesized voices, terrible puns, and brick stupid panelists. Twelve public figures ("celebrities" doesn't really work here) are dressed in full garish costumes and face off against one another by singing song covers in their real voices. Before and each song, they play a sizzle real of the singer offering (in a concealed voice) a short biography in order to give clues as to their identity. After each duel, one singer is voted the winner. The loser is then at risk of being unmasked at the end of the episode. The show airs Wednesday at 9PM ET on Fox.  Sounds pretty simple. But we're already one episode in and the surreality of the show in its premiere is really hard to describe. Nick Cannon hosts in what appears to be an afro that someone smooshed down before he went on stage. There's a panel of... not judges, but commenters? who make pointless guesses and lame jokes and are really the weak point. Let's meet them briefly: Robin Thicke: Songwriter, record producer, and noted domestic shitbag. He appears to be trying very hard to be The Serious One on the meaningless panel. Jenny McCarthy: Yes, her. Everyone's favorite anti-vaxxer observes things around her and makes preposterous guesses that reveal she's never actually listened to the artist she's trying to identify (see thread title). Ken Jeong: Former MD and current prolific comedic actor. Gives up the veil of taking any of this remotely seriously almost immediately into the first episode. Nicole Scherzinger: Formerly of the Pussycat Dolls, Nicole is the other person seemingly making guesses in earnest. Why Should I Watch? I'm going to let other sites speak to this. Vulture posted:The vibe of the whole thing is “what if Gritty walked out on a soundstage made to look like an arena concert, belted out Sam Smith’s ‘Stay With Me,’ was described as ‘a professional’ by Jenny McCarthy, took off his head to reveal he was Joey Fatone, and the entire experience felt three clicks away from an episode of Black Mirror?” Cosmopolitan posted:This lovable show is the only pure thing on television as far as I'm concerned, and I'm convinced it has the ability to heal our country. I'm also semi convinced I've hallucinated the entire thing Vox posted:What’s wild about The Masked Singer — which is a reality show singing competition, but only nominally — is that it’s essentially all of those things at once. Something Awful Forums Member Toxic Fart Syndrome posted:Holy crap I am watching The Masked Singer on Hulu and I have no idea what's going on but I really expect Katniss Everdeen to break through my door or take over the broadcast... The A.V. Club posted:Just... just watch this. Just watch it. For us. Watch this, for us. I will make the next post about the singers themselves, and I warmly invite you watch this beautiful tragedy with me.
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Jan 10, 2019 00:36
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Vulture has a running list of all the contestants and their possible identities, and I'm going to borrow a lot of this content from there. I'm admittedly pretty clueless about the celebrity-sphere these days, but that doesn't stop me from wondering who in the hell these people are. By contrast, my wife will immediately latch onto a solid guess thanks to one weirdly-specific clue. What kind of viewer are you? Who cares, let's meet the twelve singers in season one: Meet the Masks For each week, I will include the matchups, the person's height (the only rock-solid bit of info they offer), a breakdown of the clues (copied from Vulture), the panelists' guesses, and the most recent consensus or guess as provided by the Internet's infinite genius. WEEK 1:  Round 1: PEACOCK vs. HIPPO Peacock Height: 5'9" Clues: He started in show business as a kid. “Putting on a show is in my DNA,” he says. And follows that with: “It’s probably been a while since your mom had a poster me on her wall.” Plus, he claims to be best buds with Michael Jackson. Finally, “I have never been mauled by a tiger, but I have been part of a magic act.” Internet consensus: Donny Osmond. Lots of Vegas references in the hint package. He was a teen heartthrob, so posters of his face lined many bedroom walls. Osmond and Michael Jackson were pals. He was a magician in some of the Osmond variety acts. Plus, y'know, it sounds exactly like him. HIPPO - unmasked on Week 1 Height: 5'10" Clues: Performs in a mask for huge crowds regularly. Likes big breakfasts, and signed a $10,000 check for one in a diner scene. His favorite pastime is "bowling." **REVEALED** to be Pittsburgh Steelers wide receiver Antonio Brown Round 2: MONSTER vs. UNICORN Monster Height: 5'8" Clues: He’s here to “rewrite” his mixtape, to prove that he’s more than just “puff and fluff.” He says: “I was at the top of my game, but the game turned on me. So I retreated into my cave and took a break from the public eye.” After he’s asked if he’s a “professional singer,” he says: “Not to everyone.” Internet consensus: T-Pain. Sounds exactly like him, fell out of style in the mid-late 2000s, and use of Auto-Tune makes people think he's not a "real" singer. Some dissenters think it's Cee-Lo Green, but pretty much everyone thinks it's T-Pain. Unicorn Height: 5'6" Clues: She was born and raised in Beverly ("Unicorn") Hills. She had a difficult childhood and always wanted to sing, but someone she admired told her she was “tone deaf.” One of her nicknames is “Bird” and when she’s singing, Robin Thicke says, “She doesn’t sound like a trained singer.” Internet consensus: Tori Spelling. She sure was born in Beverly Hills, the daughter of producer Aaron Spelling and socialite Candy Spelling. Her childhood wasn’t great (just read one of her three books) and thanks to her dad, she appeared on many of his TV shows, including 90210. She definitely has thought of herself as a singer. (Donna Martin graduates!) Bonus fact: “Bird” in Japanese is pronounced “tori.” Other guesses include Nicole Ritchie or Paris Hilton but the heights and talent levels don't seem to match. **REVEALED** to be Tori Spelling Round 3: DEER vs. LION Deer - unmasked on Week 3 Height: 6'3" Clues: Easily the most unsettling costume in the first round. He’s “incredibly competitive,” and considers himself a singer but is “not sure everyone’s going to agree with that.” He says: “I’ve been knocked down many times, but in the Wild Wild West you learn how to get back up and get back in the saddle.” And another suggestive quote would be: “Ravens, beware.” There’s also a slight southern accent to his highly altered speaking voice. **REVEALED** to be Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback and current FOX NFL analyst Terry Bradshaw Lion Height: 5'6" Clues: She says that some might say she’s “Hollywood royalty.” She’s stepping away from her pride to “sing my heart out,” adding, “in my pride, there are lots of women.” Internet consensus: Rumer Willis. She’s on Empire right now, she’s already won Dancing With the Stars, and, yes, she sings. She’s the right height and she’s Hollywood royalty: the daughter of Demi Moore and Bruce Willis. Plus, she’s part of an all-female “pride” with two sisters, Scout and Tallulah Belle. She’s a Leo and at one point had a huge lion tattoo on her shoulder. I personally have zero guesses for this one. **REVEALED** to be Rumer Willis! WEEK 2: They did away with heights this week. Maybe they thought it was too big a clue? It doesn't matter, since the Internet has already figured out the identities of the second batch of masked contestants. Let's meet them!  Round 1: RABBIT vs. ALIEN Rabbit Clues: He’s spent most of his life onstage, but he was “never alone.” Now he “pops up here and I pop up there.” Synchronized singing is his forte. “This rabbit’s gonna win and you believe the last mask standing is gonna be me.” Internet consensus: It's former N*SYNC member Joey Fatone (aka "the Fat One"). The N*SYNC song references were all over the clue package, it sounds exactly like him, he's known for doing goofy poo poo, and Joey is exactly at the right celebrity tier to appear on this show. Also was (twice) on "Dancing With the Stars," which seems to be a huge giveaway for the celebrities on this show. Second guess: fellow N*SYNC member JC Chavez. He and Fatone are the only two at the right vocal range and fame levels to do the show. **REVEALED** to be Joey Fatone Alien Clues: She “comes in peace,” whatever that means. The Alien grew up in the public eye: “In my family, anonymity is a completely alien concept.” “No one will ever control me again,” she says. “For the first time, the world gets to hear my voice on my terms.” Later, she’ll tell the judges she has “many sisters” and in another video, they show a photo of a gold record as a clue. Internet consensus: This one was tough at first, but the web managed to piece it together as LaToya Jackson. She has two sisters, and references Janet Jackson's album "Control." A snake in the clue video is a reference to her 1989 Playboy shoot where she appeared with a snake around her. Plus, the voice and speech match perfectly. **REVEALED** to be LaToya Jackson. The internet has a 100% success rate so far! Round 2: RAVEN vs. PINEAPPLE Raven Clues: All her life, she’s listened to “other peoples’ stories.” She calls herself a sunny person, and say she’s always found an audience. “No one talks like me.” Recently, she suffered a tragic loss, and “like a phoenix, she’ll rise up.” “So don’t cry baby, this one’s for you." A clue on a previous video is a hand holding a pregnancy test. She confirmed that she hosted a talk show. Internet consensus: The talk show clue was a pretty big one. Ricki Lake starred in John Waters's film "Crybaby." She spent a lot of time listening to other people's stories on her acclaimed 1990s talk show. Her ex-husband killed himself in 2017. **REVEALED** to be Ricki Lake PINEAPPLE - unmasked on Week 2 Clues: He survived a life-threatening disease and was shown washing a car with Michigan plates and a "Pipe Dreams" bumper sticker. He has an extremely recognizeable voice. Then he mentioned "Up in Smoke," which is really all we needed and why nobody should have been surprised to see he was... **REVEALED** to be actor Tommy Chong.  Jenny McCarthy was VERY close and kept saying Cheech Marin, and I really think she knew who he was, but was too stupid to know the difference. He talks about his experience on the show here.Round 3: POODLE vs. BEE POODLE - unmasked on Week 4 Clues: “Ever since I was a little girl, I loved to be onstage and in character,” Poodle said, also adding that she comes from a musical family even though she’s famous for something else. Her reel also showed a rainbow, leading some of the panelists to guess that she’s part of the LGBT community. The clip package also noted that she’s from the Bay Area. ** REVEALED to be comedienne Margaret Cho. Her Wikipedia page is really sad. She's from the Bay Area, she's openly bisexual, and she advocates for civil rights. BEE Clues: She’s had a long career, and never wanted to stop doing what she loves. Being a worker bee “keeps [her] young.” “You can call me Queen B, but Empress also suits me.” She wants to reach a new generation and prove that she still has what it takes to create a buzz. Another video reveals yet a clue: a picture of tennis balls. She tells the judges later that she started singing “in the ’50s.” Internet consensus: The Empress of Soul herself, Gladys Knight. She created the Pips with family members in the 50s. She loves tennis. Tina Turner is not doing this show. Hazo fucked around with this message at 04:01 on Feb 21, 2019 |
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Jan 10, 2019 00:37
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What a strangely familiar premise.
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Jan 10, 2019 00:59
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lmao that pineapple is totally tommy chong. Rabbit could be Joey Fatone
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Jan 10, 2019 03:33
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KungFu Grip posted:lmao that pineapple is totally tommy chong. Rabbit could be Joey Fatone Yeah those are the two for-sure guesses. My house thinks Raven is Ricki Lake. Alien we have no idea, partially because her clues were useless. Also I noticed they got rid of the heights. Maybe they underestimated how fast the internet would figure out the celebrities.
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Jan 10, 2019 03:39
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Hazo posted:Yeah those are the two for-sure guesses. My house thinks Raven is Ricki Lake. Alien we have no idea, partially because her clues were useless. Ricki Lake has sang before so that checks out and she did lose her exhusband in 2017 so last year when this was taped checks out. No idea who Poodle is but twitter is saying Jane Lynch but Jane Fonda sounds like a close guess too. Better than "Obama!" from fuckin Jenny.
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Jan 10, 2019 03:46
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Margaret Cho ticks all the boxes for Poodle except for the “musical family” part. At least from what I can tell from skimming her Wikipedia page. Also, fyi: Margaret Cho’s Wikipedia page is really loving sad.
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Jan 10, 2019 03:49
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no one should be surprised by tommy chong lol
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Jan 10, 2019 03:59
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KungFu Grip posted:no one should be surprised by tommy chong lol Twitter is pretty sure Bee is Gladys Knight.
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Jan 10, 2019 04:02
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I want to give the show credit for the nifty costumes, and that it seems to go by quickly. Wonder if the whole season is in the can already? What if someone milkshake ducks during the season? Do they dump em and not say anything?
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Jan 10, 2019 06:58
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Soulcalibur's Create a Soul mode has gotten strange AF
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Jan 10, 2019 12:06
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I don't want to like this show, but it's got me so morbidly curious. The "judges" are such a trainwreck, and without them the show would be about 150% more entertaining. Also yeah, that Raven is def Ricki Lake.
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Jan 10, 2019 22:25
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That Pineapple walked like an old man. I wasn't too surprised it was Tommy Chong and once I heard it sing I knew.
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Jan 11, 2019 02:18
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This show's dumb as hell and I wish the judges would shut up but god I can't not watch it.
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Jan 11, 2019 03:20
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I universally loathe reality TV and faux competition shows. It's so manipulative and lovely. But for some reason I'm watching this. The problem with this one is the same as every other 'celebrity' show. They don't actually have celebrities, just mildly well-known people. The fact that multiple people have admitted they're the children of famous people just confirms this. Instead of trying to convince us the singers are super famous by pulling the 'emmy winners, grammy winners' thing, they should just own up to the fact that these people are C/D-list, or just famous decades ago, and have more fun with it. The concept and the costumes are solid, and the performances are actually kind of good. Robin Thicke is fine as a judge, and Ken Jeong at least foregrounds how ridiculous it all is, but gently caress Jenny McCarthy. They need more comedians on the panel, and stop cutting to them saying "They said group! I know that must mean they were in a musical group!" But gently caress me also, because I'm going to watch every drat episode. And yeah, Raven is for sure Ricki Lake. EDIT: And like Ken Jeong, I would also take Alien out for pancakes. As long as she left the costume on.
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Jan 11, 2019 17:43
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Blazing Ownager posted:Soulcalibur's Create a Soul mode has gotten strange AF LOL This show is so ridiculous and dumb, but it's a total hoot, lovely 'judges' aside. Peacock was spoilered by Good Morning America they we're interviewing Marie Osmond and mentioned Masked Singer and said 'Donny's AMAZING as the peacock, then steamrolled Marie when she tried to play coy. I'm actually hoping for some super 'Who the gently caress?!' reveal on one of the contestants; but at the same time most seem to have been internet sleuthed to Hell and back; my favorite 'out there' theory is that the Monster is Dave Chappelle And if anyone is familiar with King of Mask Singer, what was the 'standing' of contestants? Were they A-list people, or like people that were hits in decades past or former K-Pop idols out of the limelight?
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Jan 11, 2019 18:18
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Come on. This show deserves more than 15 posts.
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Jan 18, 2019 00:59
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This last episode was a lot better with the extra comedian on the panel. They had way less of the panelists turning to each other and just repeating the clues we just saw. I don't think McHale is sticking around permanently, but I hope they keep bringing in guest comedians just to snark at the premise. Giving Ken Jeong another comedian to play off of was really effective.
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Jan 19, 2019 16:16
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LadyPictureShow posted:my favorite 'out there' theory is that the Monster is Dave Chappelle I've heard Dave Chappelle sing a handful of times and trust me; we won't be seeing him on this show. I thought for sure that the peacock is Neil Patrick Harris. He does or used to MC at the magic castle in Hollywood and is a good singer. I don't watch this kind of stuff so the format is killing me. I just want a performance, a fun panel make a few guesses, then the mask comes off.
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Jan 20, 2019 06:57
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LadyPictureShow posted:And if anyone is familiar with King of Mask Singer, what was the 'standing' of contestants? Were they A-list people, or like people that were hits in decades past or former K-Pop idols out of the limelight? It's mostly the latter. But there have been some exceptions. Also Ryan Reynolds when he was promoting Deadpool 2. And the costumes get weirder and weirder as the concepts and theme well begins to dry up. Dart board face, a piece of cake, a matroyska doll, etc. Gildiss fucked around with this message at 23:37 on Jan 20, 2019 |
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Jan 20, 2019 23:32
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The Alien is a real bad singer lmaoo. If they don't lose tonight then everything is fake drat it
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Jan 24, 2019 03:33
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I'm glad Joel was back this week.
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Jan 24, 2019 03:40
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KungFu Grip posted:The Alien is a real bad singer lmaoo. If they don't lose tonight then everything is fake drat it gently caress everything
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Jan 24, 2019 03:55
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I'm really surprised they don't have live voting but if I had to guess, they'll do it next season. Fox probably didn't want to spend any money on this show to gauge interest.
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Jan 24, 2019 04:02
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"How did we get this wrong???" Golly gee, Jenny, that's the real mystery here, isn't it EDIT: also the raven is absolutely Ricki Lake
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Jan 24, 2019 04:14
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Color Printer posted:"How did we get this wrong???" Golly gee, Jenny, that's the real mystery here, isn't it To be fair, a lot of the clues are obvious in hindsight for this one. Plus Dr Ken knowing her well. Totes agree on Ricki Lake. Did you listen during the spoken word parts of her song? That is definitely Lake's voice. My mom's been watching too and she's happy as long as Jenny McCarthy is wrong in her guesses, because she hates her so much.
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Jan 24, 2019 04:23
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I just thought to look for this thread and am glad it exists. I have no idea why I love this show so much but I'm totally hooked. Also I think if they just ditched McCarthy the show would be way better. Not mentioned in thread that I can tell but I'm pretty sure the Rabbit is JC Chazes (who one of the judges mentioned). Not sure if that one had been internet sleuthed out yet like the other three remaining from their group but I think he matches up best from the clues. Failson posted:I want to give the show credit for the nifty costumes, and that it seems to go by quickly. I'm pretty sure I read it was all taped well ahead of time, which makes sense both because if how long it was advertised and because there's zero chance they could get Antonio Brown during a possible playoff run IcePhoenix fucked around with this message at 07:30 on Jan 24, 2019 |
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Jan 24, 2019 07:26
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Joel makes this all so much more watchable, though him being on a show that The Soup would have shredded is some kinda twilight-zone irony. Monster is indeed probably T-Pain, but has Akon done anything in a while? I think I guessed Margaret Cho earlier, but can't remember clues between episodes. Special mention for Nick Cannon's turban collection.
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Jan 24, 2019 20:53
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Disagree on Raven. My guess is Perez Hilton.
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Jan 24, 2019 21:20
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Saucy_Rodent posted:Disagree on Raven. My guess is Perez Hilton. 1968 was mentioned in the Raven's clue package and Perez Hilton was born in 1978
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Jan 24, 2019 21:25
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I think the whole thing of the Raven being taken away from her flock by a man might be a reference to Ricki Lake getting cast in Hairspray which was her first acting role. I had no idea that was Margaret Cho. That's one where if they'd actually made a usable set of clues it would have been insanely obvious.
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Jan 25, 2019 01:33
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Updated the OP. I'm very late and I'm sorry. I saw it wasn't getting much response and I sort of tuned out. Ajaxify posted:Come on. This show deserves more than 15 posts. I also thought the "who is it" factor would inspire some fun discussion, but FOX clearly underestimated how fast the Internet would figure out every single indentity after the first two episodes.
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Jan 26, 2019 04:35
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Are they doing full songs during the performances that are cut down, or are the actual performances cut down versions of the songs? I'm curious.
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Jan 26, 2019 05:32
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This show is so weirdly fascinating to watch and McCarthy should die in a fire.
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Jan 26, 2019 19:04
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Humbug Scoolbus posted:This show is so weirdly fascinating to watch and McCarthy should die in a fire. Having McHale there really highlights how useless she is. Robin Thicke and Nicole Scheringer - Music industry veterans. There to let people know if the person is a trained singer or an amateur. Ken Jeong and Joel McHale - There to point out how silly the concept is and add some lightness to the proceedings. Jenny McCarthy - There to...repeat what Robin says and then make dumb guesses, falling all over herself to self-congratulate.
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Jan 26, 2019 20:59
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My only issue with the list above is Latoya Jackson as Alien. She's pretty old, is she actually in that good shape? The body under the skintight suit seems to be someone pretty young.
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Jan 26, 2019 21:01
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mangler103 posted:My only issue with the list above is Latoya Jackson as Alien. She's pretty old, is she actually in that good shape? The body under the skintight suit seems to be someone pretty young. I think the Rabbit is JC Chazes and assumed that was the internet consensus but I guess not. I don't think the Alien possibility is too old for that body type if she puts the effort forth to stay in shape
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Jan 26, 2019 21:13
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mangler103 posted:My only issue with the list above is Latoya Jackson as Alien. She's pretty old, is she actually in that good shape? The body under the skintight suit seems to be someone pretty young. The snake in the hints really sold me on it being Latoya. She did a playboy shoot with a snake. And the voice and cadence seems to match.
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Jan 27, 2019 00:40
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IcePhoenix posted:I think the Rabbit is JC Chazes and assumed that was the internet consensus but I guess not. The rabbit hints seem to point to one of the NSync guys that isn't Timberlake but by god am I hoping its Donnie Wahlberg just to see McCarthy's brain explode.
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Jan 27, 2019 00:50
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IcePhoenix posted:I think the Rabbit is JC Chazes and assumed that was the internet consensus but I guess not.
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Jan 28, 2019 02:34
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