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https://twitter.com/ewarren/status/1179851099978846209
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Oct 3, 2019 21:35
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Doc Hawkins posted:can't think of one fucker That’s Ted Cruz’s.
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Oct 16, 2019 03:49
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Have the deva posted a changelog?
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Oct 16, 2019 23:07
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Moon Slayer posted:Because when he said "shifter mashed my nut" what he actually meant was "pants pinched my nut while I was shifting," hth. The shifter mashed his nut, mediated by his pants.
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Oct 17, 2019 13:48
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“attempting”
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Oct 28, 2019 10:04
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MizPiz posted:You really can't say that if they get caught multiple times doing blackface; at that point, the other one is just more honest. There are sins worse than blackface.
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Nov 2, 2019 11:03
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https://twitter.com/Emilee3D/status/1190482934366638080
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Nov 3, 2019 03:18
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Who What Now posted:Do you also get weird when people call themselves "entomologists", considering the billions of insects? One word: “herpetologists”
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Nov 3, 2019 11:38
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Deeply cursed object.
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Nov 4, 2019 10:10
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Sorry; we’re calling it “germline”.
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Nov 4, 2019 20:00
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There are a couple of notable Romans whose examples she could follow. 
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Nov 10, 2019 10:31
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WTF Those could have been the wrong species. What if he needed more than six?
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Nov 11, 2019 03:01
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zoux posted:https://twitter.com/Newsweek/status/1194668808327376902 No photos. Sad! Usually the pigs pose for photos after making a bust.
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Nov 13, 2019 21:00
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Mr.Radar posted:My favorite is the "automotive SCSI" cable: I agree with Foone, who is using a SCSI bus in their car??? “Automotive” is just a code word for environmental extremes of temperature, vibration, humidity, et cetera. No one is a actually putting it in a car. I hope.
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Nov 16, 2019 12:00
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If you’re already law enforcement and you take an arrow to the knee, this happens: https://giant.gfycat.com/BlandUnconsciousCuscus.mp4
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Nov 17, 2019 13:09
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Not just any porn. Barely legal incest threesome porn.
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Nov 20, 2019 06:07
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Someone explain to me how this is more than semantics: https://twitter.com/betsymendelsohn/status/1196995210208780290
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Nov 20, 2019 11:57
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Sulla Faex posted:when you type the letter "s" into your phone does it immediately autocorrect to "SJWs" That’s not a very nice thing to suggest. Many of the examples in that thread were cool & good. I myself have oft repeated the story of the mysterious knives in the ceiling. The one about the attracting egg seemed less good, but it turns out that is only because the tweeter did a terrible job of summarising Dr Martin’s findings. 
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Nov 20, 2019 21:52
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Caedus posted:I love the lifted front + bottomed out back suspension on this. Great attention to detail. This might be the joke, but it was like that in the original promotional image.
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Nov 24, 2019 08:38
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Inceltown posted:This isn't so much as a good tweet as a good tweet search tweet for certain values of “good” https://twitter.com/NuclearAnthro/status/1199559207227285504
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Nov 27, 2019 11:54
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The username is intriguing, at least.
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Dec 3, 2019 10:14
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Three was snubbed!
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Dec 4, 2019 00:42
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Mak0rz posted:
Botany is worse. They don’t even allow tautonyms. Ziziphus zizyphus had been in use since 1882, but in 2011 it was decided that it was too close to being a tautonym, so it got renamed. Zoologists are like “the western lowland gorilla? Gorilla gorilla gorilla seems appropriate.”
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Dec 5, 2019 11:49
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The first ever described dinosaur fossil was named Scrotum humanum because it looked like a ballsack.
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There’s an electric eel with a Twitter account. When he zaps, it tweets. https://twitter.com/EelectricMiguel/status/1205886027581263872 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b3DFrarG390
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Dec 15, 2019 05:50
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It’s called the “calyx”. It’s where the flower, part of the plant’s genitals, used to be. Fruits are themselves the enlarged ovaries of a plant. Medlars have an extremely prominent calyx. Shakespeare referenced medlars in multiple jokes.  Romeo and Juliet, Act II, scene 1 Place: A lane by the wall of Capulet’s orchard. Speaker: Mercutio If love be blind, love cannot hit the mark. Now will he sit under a medlar tree, And wish his mistress were that kind of fruit As maids call medlars, when they laugh alone. Romeo, that she were, O, that she were An open et caetera, thou a poperin pear! Romeo, good night: I'll to my truckle-bed; This field-bed is too cold for me to sleep: Come, shall we go? Platystemon has a new favorite as of 11:16 on Dec 17, 2019 |
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Dec 17, 2019 11:14
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subpar anachronism posted:Thankfully for all our poo poo breaks, that cannot be ADA compliant in any way. It might fall under the Air Bud principle.
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Dec 18, 2019 07:15
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Milo and POTUS posted:...the toilet's gonna play basketball? It’s like Tesla’s Model 3 having no manual release on the rear doors and that’s legal because the people making the rules never contemplated anyone making such a deathtrap.
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Dec 18, 2019 07:23
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Pastry of the Year posted:why are all of his thinky-meats turning to pudding except the ones that regulate autonomous functions He’s a cannibal and prions are unravelling his brain.
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Dec 20, 2019 14:55
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Rarely.
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Dec 23, 2019 15:27
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Inceltown posted:e: ^ we're through the looking glass here people Tape a tube to the inside of the bin to allow air exchange and break the seal. A wrapping paper tube would work.
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Dec 27, 2019 03:27
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Darth Walrus posted:Dear lord, what kind of microscopic gene-pool gets you that? Fetal alcohol syndrome
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Jan 2, 2020 14:23
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lemonadesweetheart posted:Fixed it Did you intend this as a vampire bat joke or a Mussolini joke?
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Jan 16, 2020 16:54
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Shut up Meg posted:https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2020/jan/16/adrian-chiles-must-we-settle-for-fanny Steal from Sanskrit.
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Jan 16, 2020 16:56
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zoux posted:I see... Galaxy brain: glass is a liquid
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Jan 16, 2020 17:17
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What is this dunking on?
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Jan 18, 2020 08:59
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MizPiz posted:Snake emojis are sexist Gotta love how the snake people just accept that Eve was responsible for the Fall of Man. What’s next? Calling a black policeman “pig” is racist because, you see, the black race descends from Noah’s accursed son Ham.
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Jan 18, 2020 14:14
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luxury handset posted:i've only ever met one person who didn't like princess bride, and they didn't like big lebowski either, and i realized on that day that there are some people who you can immediately banish from ever having a credible opinion about any sort of media Ask them about Office Space.
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Jan 20, 2020 00:31
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christmas boots posted:I’m guessing there was a shower there before a remodel and they didn’t want to redo the pipes. lol no It’s a feature. Orvin posted:Nope, that’s intended. I stayed a couple nights at the Kohler resort & spa, right outside their factory in Wisconsin. I went to fill the tub, and it was an identical design with the water coming down from the ceiling. It just didn’t have the voyeur window to the world.
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Jan 21, 2020 10:28
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Read a page, rip it out, crumple it, and throw it onto the floor.
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Jan 22, 2020 14:49
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They will furnish credits which will serve us for the support of the Communist Party in their countries and, by supplying us materials and technical equipment which we lack, will restore our military industry necessary for our future attacks against our suppliers. To put it in other words, they will work on the preparation of their own suicide.
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Jan 23, 2020 15:45
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