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Malik Quintan: Malik awoke to dehydration and a sore rear end. He wondered just what went wrong as he surveyed his current situation, glancing around at the rest of these unlucky bastards. They looked as disoriented and unlucky as Malik. Luckily, Malik saw an opportunity where everyone else sees the end. He could work these marks over and wrap them around his fingers - outmanned and outgunned, you need whatever protection you can get. And meatshields were the easiest solution he could improvise. So he started reading the ID cards and sizing them up, one by one. "Giuseppe Gabagool" - A brute. Slow, in more ones than one perhaps. Probably insufferable to be around, just looking at him. Probably going to have to go first. "Tad Ratliff" - probably nothing notable about him. "Austin Redguard" - Old. Oddly built for his age. Might be worth keeping around. "Mitsy O Malley" - Probably shits cum, just looking at them. Will have to give them half my ration to keep me on their good side. "Pratthew Taddings IV" - A child, who looks like they came from means before all this poo poo. Ugh. Dead weight. Pass. "Reed Albrecht" - Another loving old. Goddamn. And a loving nerd to boot. My loving luck. Malik realized how unlucky he was with this bunch of goobers, and before he could realize he was probably on his own, "Mitsy" opened her brutish mouth and Malik realized he would have to play along. A calm, cool, and collected first impression would be the first step to taking leadership of these sorry sacks of poo poo. Giuseppe yammered an insufferable response to Mitsy, and Malik realized the darkest truth of them all when it came to his waking nightmare: he was trapped in hell... with loving New Yorkers. "Word! I grew up in Bed-Stuy, believe it or not. Name's Malik, and I don't plan on staying here much longer. Who's with me?"
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Jan 24, 2019 06:26
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| # ? May 9, 2024 21:01 |
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Oh my god, they're all loving New Yorkers. Every single loving one! I stare fixedly out the window, trying to recognise which mountains those are by sheer force of will, despite not actually knowing any geography at all beyond what I learnt from my letterbombing campaigns
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Jan 24, 2019 07:02
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Crane Fist posted:I'm a swamp maoist who thinks AOC isn't going far enough and her election stands in the way of true progress Which one? 
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Jan 24, 2019 15:50
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Isn't one of them a sex weird? That one
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Jan 24, 2019 20:00
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Put me down as a DNC consultant
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Jan 24, 2019 20:50
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pushpins posted:Put me down as a DNC consultant if you want to do nothing and not play then you dont have to be aj erk about it
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Jan 24, 2019 20:52
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A little melody of electronic bells plays on the speakers, and a pleasant sounding woman's voice comes on. "Hello and welcome to the Re-education Express. You have all been selected for a special contuing adult education program, either by recommendation by one of your friends or family, or simply through a regular audit. The program will take approximately two weeks and your employers have been informed of your expected absence. Please enjoy this time to become acquainted with your base team in your adjoining seats, who you will accompany for most of the exercises over the next two weeks. Drinks and snacks are available in the dining car and can be credited on your ID card. We wil be arriving in Chopaka in Approximately one hour. " Another melody of bells, and the announcement is over.
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Jan 24, 2019 21:24
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Malik Quintan: Malik's eyes lit up. This was the perfect opportunity - with Soviet dining cars come Russian vodka, and with liquor bottles, a bit of cloth, and a source of fire - the flames of chaos would ignite a path to freedom. "Alright team - first things first I want everyone to get a bottle of vodka and a cloth napkin from the dining car. Then we just need a lighter, and we can burn our way to hijacking this train." He hoped his newfound motley crew had the courage to do something about their situation.
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Jan 24, 2019 21:35
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I immediately make a dash for the dining car in search of alcohol. I've been sober for nearly a day and I am not enjoying it. Maybe I'll see if any of the others want to come with me- the New Yorkers are a lost cause, they're probably on artisanal juice cleanses or something, but maybe the other old guy or that weird kid want to get their heads straight? I'll holler incoherently at them about booze, seeing as that's all I can currently manage, conversation-wise, and hang on, this guy wants to burn the booze? Is he serious? Must be one of those straight-edgers who didn't get wiped out in the Siege of CBGBs. I holler even louder to drown out his attempts at heresy
some plague rats has issued a correction as of 21:37 on Jan 24, 2019 |
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Jan 24, 2019 21:35
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VODKA! The rubbing alcohol girls pour in OJ. You ain’t having none of that. You’ll have a nice American bourbon any day, any hour (except in front of your Mama), but never that. The feathery haired pretty boy might be a little on the fanook side but his mind’s on the prize. “I’ve got an idea! We’ll torch our way outta here!” Now time for Giuseppe to grab his trusty Limited Edition 9 carat gold Frank Sinatra Commemorative Lighter and ah gently caress the Ivans took that as well. “Any of you’s not fall asleep while watching the Discovery Channel ovah here?”
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Jan 24, 2019 22:02
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Malik: I follow Austin's lead to the dining car, trying to calm my new friend. "Dude. Dude! Don't get toasted off this goatshit. I can get us the good poo poo, but we have to get a way out of here first." twoday, what is the likelyhood of us finding the ingredients to improvise molotov cocktails in the dining car? I need vodka bottles, cloth napkins or towels, and at least one lighter.
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Jan 24, 2019 22:07
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Okay, seems like this Malik guy might know where to get the good poo poo? My hands are shaking pretty bad and I think I'm starting to hallucinate so I'm going to follow his lead and turn my hollering down a notch to a low muttering
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Jan 24, 2019 22:13
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Reed Albrecht: The thoughts of bravely joining his large adult sons in the camps quickly faded at the thought of finding a way out. Reed pushed past the other occupants of his car to frantically search the dining room for someone, anyone, who worked here and would listen to reason. "I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE," he shrieked, "I'M A LIBERAL!"
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Jan 24, 2019 22:42
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Pratthew: I swing to high five my dad for the sixty-ninth time (hell yeah, bring it dad, I love you). But I hit dead air. Dad morphs before my eyes into a thousand toys. Ted-E-Bears. Bumble Boys. Muscle Cops. The toys of our legacy. A Latina mouth opens up in the ground and mooches my dad. Mooches him whole. I wonder if I am dreaming and pinch myself.
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Jan 24, 2019 23:06
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dorf me
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Jan 24, 2019 23:28
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Jan 25, 2019 01:20
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take me off the list i didnt realize it was starting so soon :V
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Jan 25, 2019 02:29
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Zyla posted:take me off the list i didnt realize it was starting so soon :V no don't I'll help you fill out your character sheet just give me some general guidelines and I'll do the work
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Jan 25, 2019 02:31
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Taintrunner posted:Malik: You get to the dining car and are dismayed to see no hard liquor on the menu. This is a government train, the odds are low, but you never know what the cook will have hidden away if you befriend him I will let any random C-SPAM poster play the role of the cook in the dining car
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Jan 25, 2019 03:14
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"Hullo chaps, fancy a spot of jam from the British People's Republic?"
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Jan 25, 2019 03:18
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AceRimmer posted:"Hullo chaps, fancy a spot of jam from the British People's Republic?" Reed Albrecht: *extremely red-faced and panting voice* "Oh thank god you're here. Look, you have to help me out. I'm not one of these right wing nutjobs! I voted for Obama for Christ's sake, the second time! You gotta tell the guards, please!"
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Jan 25, 2019 03:21
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AceRimmer posted:"Hullo chaps, fancy a spot of jam from the British People's Republic?" Malik Quintan: Oh bloody hell lad, you got a sip of the old Queen's blood for a chap in wicked need, yeh? Maybe a few extra for me fellow lads 'ere for their daily brexit?
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Jan 25, 2019 03:44
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Flavius Aetass posted:"Oh thank god you're here. Look, you have to help me out. I'm not one of these right wing nutjobs! I voted for Obama for Christ's sake, the second time! You gotta tell the guards, please!" The wizened old man laughs nervously, glancing in the general direction of the upper right corner of the roof of the traincar. "Perhaps some warm milk to calm you down, mate?"
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Jan 25, 2019 03:58
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Taintrunner posted:Malik Quintan: "Well, let me get you some *cough* tea" The cook leans under the counter and produces a cup of clear liquid. "ID card please, lad. Also please help your mate calm down."
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Jan 25, 2019 04:13
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Jan 25, 2019 04:41
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twoday posted:You get to the dining car and are dismayed to see no hard liquor on the menu. Having collapsed and wept softly for a while, I'm now considering my options. This train must have brakes! And brakes have fluid! I can work something out from there. I'd better try and explain to Malik that we need to get to the brakes, he seems to get it. No Brit would leave a man in my.condition to his own devices!
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Jan 25, 2019 05:18
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Mitzy sat there for a while. Her children. Her husband. What were they eating? Oh, Matt. Probably takeout. Probably takeout every night until she got home. She thought of one of her happiest times with Matt. He had just come back from his Mission in Pattaya and he was so worldly. They stayed up all night drinking Jolt cola he had smuggled through customs and watching blurays of a show called the Simpsons. Unknowingly doped up on caffeine, Mitsy kept pointing at the Thai subtitles and shouting, "Look! Tic-tac-toe!" until she vomited from hyperventilating. On the show, a lady named Margaret had gotten addicted to gambling. Her nuclear technician husband struggled to support the family in her absence, and in one scene he sent their son to school with nothing but peanut butter on a playing card for lunch. The thought made her sad. What kind of family kept gambling tools in their home? Matt was useless in the kitchen. She was afraid something just as awful might happen to her children. Communism may haven documented her children, and had most certainly taken out massive loans against her children's allcaps corporate personhoods, but she wouldn't let it take their mother away. She scanned the faces of the crowd. Due to her inherent charisma, one face stuck out: Reed's. She knew that look of worry, the intuitive sensing of another parent in despair. She made her way over to his seat and sat down. "You're a father. I can tell." cumshitter has issued a correction as of 06:57 on Jan 25, 2019 |
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Jan 25, 2019 05:55
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AceRimmer posted:The cook turns and laughs: "Oh, and what are you doing here so far from Blighty, lad?" Ah, wicked legend mate. Now I’ve got a party of very confused chaps back there, you think you could pass me a couple bottles of the Queen’s “tea” to pass around? Crane Fist posted:Having collapsed and wept softly for a while, I'm now considering my options. This train must have brakes! And brakes have fluid! I can work something out from there. I'd better try and explain to Malik that we need to get to the brakes, he seems to get it. No Brit would leave a man in my.condition to his own devices! The brakes? Why that would leave us trapped in arm’s reach of these no good commies! We need to hijack this train and make for the wilderness! You can always trust the safety and refuge of a good swamp!
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Jan 27, 2019 17:33
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cumshitter posted:Mitzy scanned the faces of the crowd. Due to her inherent charisma, one face stuck out: Reed's. She knew that look of worry, the intuitive sensing of another parent in despair. She made her way over to his seat and sat down. Reed didn't even look, continuing to scan a nebulous range just ahead of his feet. "This is really happening huh?" "They already took my boys in the Youtube purge. They weren't even into the hard stuff, just like you know, Shapiro and maybe Milo once or twice at a party. I knew it was going on but I wanted them to experience both sides. I remember the last thing Kyp said to me-- 'get the gently caress out of my room. Shut the gently caress up, dad. You soy cuck. Go vote for Obama again lmao.' I know we can still find common ground, so I'm hoping I'll see them in the camp when we get there."
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Jan 28, 2019 07:24
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Taintrunner posted:Ah, wicked legend mate. Now I’ve got a party of very confused chaps back there, you think you could pass me a couple bottles of the Queen’s “tea” to pass around? The cook winks. "Do your friends prefer chamomile, rosehip or something stronger?"
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Jan 28, 2019 17:49
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AceRimmer posted:"OK three thermoses coming up...as soon as you pay the appropriate amount" "Oh you're a propa mate, bruv. I'm trapped with these bloody wankers and I need the strongest stuff you got. I can give ye the hook up with whatever's on this ID card, but I can promise once I get back to the olde ZX8100, I can wire ye a baker's dozen of bitcoins. 'dat sound like a fair trade for a full monty?"
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Jan 29, 2019 03:49
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Taintrunner posted:"Oh you're a propa mate, bruv. I'm trapped with these bloody wankers and I need the strongest stuff you got. I can give ye the hook up with whatever's on this ID card, but I can promise once I get back to the olde ZX8100, I can wire ye a baker's dozen of bitcoins. 'dat sound like a fair trade for a full monty?" He sighs wistfully, then heads off to the back of the kitchen for a while returning with three thermoses and a tray of jam sandwiches. "There you go, some blackberry-apple jam from the Chairman's own orchards and some Earl Gray for the rest of you to wash it down with!" A hissing and beeping, accompanied by loud cursing diverts his attention to the back of the kitchen. "Oh, the bloody instant pots are on the fritz again, Christ on a bike! Now I can see how they've increased production of the bloody things by 1000%...." "Anything else I can help you with, lad?"
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Jan 29, 2019 06:03
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Well I have no idea what language these guys are speaking. I've zoned out of the conversation and drifted into a reverie about having burgers with chairman mao
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Jan 29, 2019 06:11
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OOC: Hey twoday, what are the rules for like, improvising explosives? Can I get an idea of the internal layout of the train and the number of guards, as well as their equipment?
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Jan 29, 2019 22:12
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Sorry for neglecting my DMing duties, I will try to figure out the answer to that question tonight.
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Jan 29, 2019 22:58
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Pic: some fuckin bumpkin in overalls who spits a lot Personal Info: Name: Vladimir Russiaman Age: 33 just like our savior Jesus Christ Gender: enby Race/Nationality: White, like JEsus Politics: we should murder all the commies and libtards Background: victor is strong as an ox but also as stupid as one and frequently has heated gaming moments, also he comes from wisconsin and doesnt understand why people think he's russian. his favorite hobby is throwing cows. people have started referring to him as the clown prince of the alt-right recently. victor learned to do karate by watching steven seagal movies, somehow he manages to actually hurt people doing it but its likely thats just because he's seven feet tall and has hands like hubcaps. he loves jesus, but comes from a church that preaches that jesus toted an m16 and killed the commies to usher in the glorious reign of the free market. also he fucks. Attributes: Strength: 25 Dexterity: 5 Alertness: 5 Wokeness: 0 Healthiness: 15 Skills & Knowledge 1. cow throwing: 20 2. slurs: 20 3. steven segal karate specializing in neck snapping: 30 4. knowing things about jesus: 2 5. shooting: 15 6. ability to gently caress: 13
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Jan 29, 2019 23:21
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BENGHAZI 2 posted:some fuckin bumpkin in overalls who spits a lot poo poo dude don't doxx me BENGHAZI 2 posted:6. ability to gently caress: 13 Oh wait you aren't
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Jan 30, 2019 06:07
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randomly remembered this and I think it would be great to revive it, but I apparently don't have the dedication it takes to be a proper GM 
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Aug 7, 2020 02:49
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why didn't they just call it the 2SSR
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Aug 8, 2020 10:16
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twoday posted:randomly remembered this and I think it would be great to revive it, but I apparently don't have the dedication it takes to be a proper GM just start it over again, cop
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Aug 8, 2020 10:25
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