- vanisher
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Step 1: Read recipe for Beef bourguignon
Step 2: Microwave a potato
Step 3: Forget the potato
Step 4: Eat cold potato after watching a documentary about trash in the Pacific
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Jan 28, 2019 19:22
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May 22, 2024 13:19
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- vanisher
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Forgotten microwaved water you drink because you are thirsty
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Jan 28, 2019 19:25
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- vanisher
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Depression Cookies:
1 - Spoon, preferably large
1 - Container of pre-mixed chocolate chip cookie dough, preferably Papa Murphy's
1 - GODDAMN DAY WITHOUT YOU TELLING ME COOKIE DOUGH ISN'T A MEAL, YOU PAY TO BE MY ROOMMATE DAVE, NOT TO JUDGE MY NUTRITIONAL CHOICES
-Preheat oven to loving nothing, then eat the entire container of cookie dough in one sitting, in an industrious and unwavering fashion
-watch Twin Peaks for the umpteenth time, preferably while also passive-aggressively guilting Dave into watching it with you
-BECAUSE I'M GOING THROUGH SOME poo poo, AND A GOOD FRIEND WOULD BE SUPPORTIVE AND LET ME JUST BASK IN AGENT COOPER'S WHOLESOME WEIRDNESS FOR EIGHT HOURS STRAIGHT, DAVE
-IT'S NOT LIKE I NEED TO BE ANYWHERE RIGHT NOW
-COULD YOU GRAB ME A MOUNTAIN DEW, I'M LIKE SUPER COMFORTABLE AND THE CAT IS SLEEPING ON MY LEGS, JUST LET ME HAVE THIS DAVE
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Jan 29, 2019 18:52
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- vanisher
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Status update: Sharpening my kiwi knife, listening to sad country music
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Feb 5, 2019 21:35
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- vanisher
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Eating a banana with a fork and knife. Trying to peel the thing with your fork and knife without touching it.
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Feb 5, 2019 21:56
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- vanisher
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"How sad are you?"
Heh.
(I pull out a small leather roll and carefully unsnap the pearl clasp, opening it to reveal an array of strange knives and spoons, presumably for eating fruit)
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Feb 6, 2019 01:38
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- vanisher
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A friend passes, I somberly stand in line at Williams Sonoma clutching a Wusthof Garnishing Kit to give to the widow.
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Feb 6, 2019 16:45
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May 22, 2024 13:19
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- vanisher
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Feb 6, 2019 16:49
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Jan 28, 2019 19:22
