(Thread IKs:
Josherino)
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CW: The following discusses suicidal ideation in the context of my personal experiences . I have no intention to act upon these thoughts, but they are omnipresent I feel that bringing them up, and the frustration they bring, is important to the post. I am seeing a psych, and getting some of the medication I need for the (minimal) improvements it has given. I posted this elsewhere, and I know its a text bomb, the following is very E/N, and very tl;dr, and for that I apologize. However I feel I need to express all this disgust and trauma that's built up around my mental illness. As someone who has struggled with mental health issues to the point I am disabled and constantly suicidal, the trip through the mental health system has always been with a focus for "getting back to work". After two decades of attempted employment, I had my fourth or fifth mental breakdown and applied for disability. I was recently denied social security disability because I made the mistake of one time in the middle of the process telling a doctor I was "feeling better", which was used by the judge as evidence I could improve, and therefore wasn't consistently disabled for a year per their definitions i.e. only "moderately" depressed rather than the "severe" qualification. My pain and suffering was means-tested and I was found wanting. The judge said my constant desire for suicide and being completely overwhelmed was "neither particularly moving nor relevant" in his judgement. Yes, I appealed, this WAS the appeal. Denials all the way. I've started a new case. Let's hope this works. This looks like getting disability might take longer than my bachelor's degree. Mental health is, it seems, largely an ideological position. Someone pointed out a lot of conditions, like ADHD, are named after the symptoms that annoy neurotypicals/bosses/authority figures the most, rather than the things that harm the affected person the most i.e. in my case it would be the constant feeling that my mind is a misfiring, cloudy, mush of rapid fire, incoherent thoughts, moving far too fast to articulate. An engine set in neutral and the gas slammed on, revving it to 7000 RPM but going nowhere. When I get grilled everytime I mention suicidal ideation, they ask about anger. Literally any and all anger is seen as bad and something to learn how to control and suppress and not express. I feel I am being interrogated for trigger phrases so they can have me involuntarily committed; to be deprived of my liberty and incarcerated for "helpful" reasons, is a fate I find worse than death. Sometimes it feels like mental health is just to keep rent-generating bipeds minimally functional and compliant. I cannot function in a job. Its not lack of skills, its inability to perform "work theater", i.e. the APPEARANCE of being productive. I want to tell everyone who said "fake it until you make it" to gently caress off; for people with autism like myself, who was misdiagnosed as high functioning (because I could temporarily hold down jobs and pay bills but nothing else), you NEVER learn to be nuerotypical or even how to temporarily fake it, even when trying to do so for over two decades of extremely sporadic employment. I am CONSTANTLY twitching and mumbling and pacing and doing stereotypical crazy people behavior and the horror of it is, I'm watching myself do it from own eyes, as if a stranger is controlling my body and I'm helpless to stop any of these bizarre behaviors I see myself constantly doing. At this point, I'm so run ragged that even showing up anywhere on time, even for telecommuting, and reliably doing anything for a period of time, is out of the question. I am functional for approximately 45minutes to an hour every day, including hygiene and eating. If something takes longer to do than that, I am useless for the entire next day or two. In fact, your mere existence is a burden around those around you due to constant weird behavior. I remember all those Pick threads of her talking about how autistic men were scum who hurt all those around them just by existing, and while she is a piece of poo poo, the fact of the matter is, while you can build a wheel chair ramp for someone in a wheel chair and give them a higher desk with no chair to work on, accommodating conditions for a moderate functioning autistic person is just forcing neutroypticals to deal with all the weird poo poo we're constantly doing. The stimming, the mumbling, the rocking back and forth, the weird ritualizations of behavior. Everything about this triggers neurotyptical people's "Something is profoundly wrong, go to fight or flight" instincts. Since I'm not doing anything specifically to break the rules, they don't say anything, so the distrust builds and builds and builds until they're knifing me in the back with the boss to get rid of me. Since I can't play it cool, or however you want to phrase it, the eyes of authority figures have always been on me, I have never been able to escape rule enforcers constantly monitoring me and slamming me for any violation. I held onto jobs for months, or over a year, after I was in full mental breakdown, before quitting. My parents said I gave up too quickly, the disability judge used it as proof I could hold a job since I held on that long. In the face of this, constant humiliation, constant pressure even among sympathetic people to shape up or gently caress off and die in a gutter, in a world that is smaller and smaller and getting worse and worse as the walls close in on me, self-termination and the total ceasing of existence becomes preferable to any alternative. All the commie talk about forging some kind of new hopeful world comes off as more of a sick joke everyday. I don't want hope, I don't give a poo poo about luxury automated communism or whatever the gently caress, I just want my pain to end as quickly and as painlessly as possible, and I see no possible future in which I am both alive and not in constant agony. All these fuckers saying "hold on...I know its not fair...but hold on" seem like people admitting they got nothing, the whole loving thing is doomed and none of them have answers. Making this even worse is all the assholes who say things like "Disabled non-working-in-any-capacity people are lumpenproles, and counterrevolutionary" or that I'm a leech and should gently caress off and die or kill myself. On an industrial, societal wide level, mental health feels like its sweeping all the people who squirt out or fallout of the system and trying to figure a way to throw them back into the hopper of the machine, and those that break entirely get discarded.
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Jul 29, 2021 08:06
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| # ¿ May 10, 2024 17:50 |
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I'm sorry Pillow. I lost my pet recently, and I know you gave them the best life you could for as long as you could.
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Aug 2, 2021 02:01
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Equeen posted:Hi everyone, sorry if this is a weird post, but here goes... This reply is probably not that uplifting but I resolved these problems by having a massive mental breakdown, quitting, and being semi-homeless. I realized, when I'm couch surfing, and waking up drenched in sweat when I sleep in my car, and when I don't get enough to eat, that despite how much it sucks, it sucks far less than working in an office. I feel more fulfilled now that my only goals day to day are finding 2000 calories of food that won't make me sick and enough gas to keep the car moving. Jesus hoss, I'm sorry. I'm in a hosed up with a similar situation to my folks too, sadly, the only way I found to solve problems was to start screaming at them. "I am your kid, you are hurting me, why are you doing that?" Ronwayne has issued a correction as of 02:44 on Aug 9, 2021 |
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Aug 9, 2021 02:41
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quote is not edit
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Aug 9, 2021 02:44
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Uganda Loves Me posted:Thanks for your kinds words! I admire your bravery to stand up to them in such a direct manner. Its more a "nothing left to lose/at the end of my rope" thing than bravery, but yeah, next step is reminding them that as they grow older I will be making choices for them, so we'd better start sorting out and moving towards that.
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Aug 9, 2021 14:59
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Yeah, most pets teach kids about death, parrots and turtles are something you get with the intent of inflicting them on your grandkids. I hope your parrot isn't like that one that screams racial slurs it learned in 1950 at random.
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Aug 9, 2021 16:07
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Ouch, that's miserable. I've ridden that roller coaster before. I've just had to deal with writing off entire weeks when my brain chemistry changes.
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Aug 11, 2021 00:29
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Good luck hoss, I've been playing the brain medication slot machine. I hope it hits jackpot but mostly I get a fascinating new array of occasionally life threatening side effects. First I had to find a free doc, then after a year of seeing them ask for something to tread my ADHD, they make me get EKGs and blood tests, for which I have to go to a second free doc to get (and months of paperwork to see for free) Then first doc tells me is a controlled substance so they can't prescribe it but will write a letter to another doc that can. I take letter to second doc, who informs me they can't prescribe it either. I take the letter to third doc, who makes me get more EKGs, and more blood tests, and, yes finally prescribes me ADHD medication. Its $367 dollars a month.  And i can't get it from the free pharmacy attached to the doc because its a controlled substance, so I have to go to a commercial pharmacy that will charge full price.
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Aug 13, 2021 18:00
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I was informed by the pharmacy there was no generic, but there might be afterall? Vyvanse
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Aug 13, 2021 18:19
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Probably Magic posted:One of my cats is dying. It's a family cat, not my favorite cat, but I love her, and the worst part is, I'm having a hard time spending any time with her even though I know she only has so much time left. I just can't stand watching someone die. One of my least favorite experiences was visiting an old folk's home for caroling, it just depressed the poo poo out of me. I just feel myself kinda emotionally shutting down instead of processing and cherishing her, where I just want to stay away from her but also can't do anything else. She's getting a love from my family, she's not alone, but I just feel like poo poo. I cut short a visit with my grandpa when I visited him a year before he died, and that's always haunted me, and that feeling is just coming back. As someone brokebrained enough to feel I need to be there when pets get put down and *make direct eye contact and watch the spark go out*, I will say that's completely acceptable hoss. Not everyone can just bathe themselves in the awful final moments of people. We do what we can with what we have and as long as someone is doing something to alleviate their misery, its fine. I will say though that while grief is inevitable, feeling guilty shouldn't be. You all gave your pet the best life you could, and that's far better than 99%+ of the critters on this planet get.
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Aug 13, 2021 18:45
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Oh wow. Thanks all. I will look into all that info, also, GOOD NEWS! i've been told that with a several week long application and being means-tested for the fourth time, i can get the meds for free  Dance monkey, dance, and you can have a little brain medication as a reward!
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Aug 14, 2021 03:57
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Thanks, I'm very excited about it, my primary limiting factor when it comes to creative projects has been lack of energy and lack of ability to focus, so who knows, maybe I'll be able to hit that middle age creative surge a lot of artists and writers get.
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Aug 14, 2021 04:57
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WhyZodiac posted:I am in that creative surge right now but it has it's ups & downs. I know the feeling. I've been able to start writing against more seriously and started drawing again, the desire for which was killed dead by my previous job and I lost 5 years of productivity. Being an accountant (and more likely, the awful details of that office environment) literally and actually killed my creative drive like it does in stereotypes, it sucked! I also managed to make the last payment on my car. I'm now a millennial that owns their own home.
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Aug 21, 2021 20:13
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mawarannahr posted:It is an embarrassing failure of the entire medical and academic establishment that so few are trained in disaster and mass trauma psychology when all the signs for this need have been there, laid plain to see by our neoliberal masters. A failure of resource allocation and societal priorities. Nobody is trained in anything political and a therapist with insight in these matters is extremely rare. I told a therapist I was considering joining the DSA and made an off-handed joke about being the one non-cop at the meeting and she told me any organization the police are watching is extremist and should be avoided.
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Aug 22, 2021 20:08
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WhyZodiac posted:Well keep at it, I find it is extremely helpful to just be doing something that isn't sitting or lying, staring at a screen, refreshing websites which is something I was doing far far too much and for way too long. Thanks. Yeah, while I was trying to force my way out of it, it seems like that didn't happen until I was ready to. The amount I produce, however, does seem linked to how much I try to do it. Uganda Loves Me posted:
I'm starting to develop a perverse enjoyment out of pushing liberals by pointing out my condition and its proof the liberal world order is crumbling around them and getting sick joy when they turn into a chud right there, like a werewolf, and point out that between socialism and genocide of the global south and the poor, they'd pick the latter in a heartbeat. That a cis, white guy from a middle class background with a college degree could fall into homelessness and joblessness through structural rot despite making all the "correct" choices in life is NOT what, grasping, up and coming young neo-libs with masters degrees want to hear. Ronwayne has issued a correction as of 02:12 on Aug 26, 2021 |
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Aug 26, 2021 02:09
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DoubleDonut posted:I had literally nothing to do at work all day starting from 10 am today so I just sat in an empty room and watched youtube videos on my phone and worried about someone finding out that I wasn't working even though I didn't have any work to do Not gonna lie, the classmate I envy the most was the guy that dropped out and smoked out these past two decades. We both ended up in the same place but I'm gonna guess he suffered a lot less.
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Aug 27, 2021 05:56
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silicone thrills posted:I feel like screaming all the time for so many reasons and I need to get off the loving internet for a while but my job requires it. My experience is you have to decide you want to get disability and start asking for help with it. If you don't, the default I've found, is therapists and mental health providers in general trying to cycle you into a "skills training" program designed to give people with marginal abilities back into entry level labor. "Capitalism as a whole is making me even sicker than I am, usually" is not in their wheelhouse and you have to go looking on your own and asking for it. I posted earlier about my experience in trying to get SSI, the long and short of it is its a complete shitshow, and you're gonna need about a year of ironclad evidence you can't work in any capacity (The first case, the judge ruled I would work as a "part time photocopy machine operator or hand packager" and thus was not disabled), the intial application (you want a lawyer that specialized in disability cases, and one that will only take money if you win since they can award you backpay from up to a year before your initial date of claimed disability) takes four months, they deny almost all first applications, then they deny most 1st appeals, then it goes before a judge who, hopefully, with your lawyers assistance, rule in that favor. Each of these steps takes four to six months. I'm on my second case, by the time this is done I probably will have spent more time trying to get disability than it took to get my bachelor's degree (and it providing me more stable income than my bachelor's degree ever did) However, please do not let what I just posted discourage you, the ghouls that run this demon cracker nation want you to gently caress off and die. Fighting through this nightmare and getting assistance is just one more way to tell them No.
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Aug 28, 2021 03:43
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Your therapist is a loving rear end in a top hat Uganda. Your parents are getting a worker they know, don't have to verify, is on call as needed and so forth. Devaluing labor done within the family is not just a problem with modern death cult capitalism but predates capitalism entirely. You could have brought up if there were no therapists, life would be miserable but would still go on. If there were no manual laborers, food transport, cleaning, etc, civilization would cease to exist. Technocrats and degreed people in general love making GBS threads on 'lesser' labor.
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Aug 28, 2021 06:01
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thehandtruck posted:(bold mine) Yeah, it does take going to new professionals until one "clicks." It is exhausting redoing the first one of two sessions over and over. A repeated PREVIOUSLY, ON DRAGON BALL Z but relating your personal demons to an entirely new person.
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Aug 28, 2021 08:24
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AceOfFlames posted:I’m afraid that the same thing will happen to me. Well yes, they're telling you to seek out and do extra work for no additional pay. It was part of the final bullshit that drove me to a mental breakdown, the boss told me I was being paid for minimum 40 hours of work, and that I had to find some if I didn't have any, and now I had to do my coworkers work and also make my coworkers like me. Specifically he meant the unrepentant rear end in a top hat who openly said things like police should round up and execute the homeless.
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Aug 31, 2021 07:21
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AAAAH loving CHRIST  Had a meeting with a new counselor. i got some good info but overall I'm kinda pissed. He prided himself on being "blunt" which meant talking loudly to me in a preacher/outside voice from six feet away, reminding me i'm almost 40 and need to have some kind of plan in case my current situation becomes worse He wants me to go to this local in-patient clinic that doesn't permit electronics/phones/laptops, and I'd have to stay there, without leaving, until the caseworker gets me medicaid, which may take weeks. I would not be allowed to leave the premises or the medicaid process will end. I was told this was the only real mental health facility located here and I'd just have to deal with the restrictions. I'm sorry, if i have to choose between suicidal thoughts and voluntary minimum security prison, I'll take the risk involved with the former. I said i'd go look at what they offer but I'm only going to get information on what out-patient stuff they have and any info i can get from the caseworkers on getting medicaid for me. But Jesus H. "You can sit in your car in the parking lot but someone will stay next to you the entire time" Motherfucker did you not get my years long history with hating authority figures bossing me around. No, you read my medical history and then lectured me for an hour in that 'big boss man taking no poo poo and speaking TRUTH' horseshit every toxic authority figure has hurt me with my entire loving life.
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Sep 1, 2021 20:59
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Josherino posted:Communicating your needs with your therapist is not as uncommon as you might think. Part of what helps therapist and counselors across the board is having a client that can effectively articulate and communicate what is and isn't working. That friction point might be anxiety provoking, but I feel as though you may benefit from it quite a bit. This is what enraged me about my visit. He didn't ask anything about me, he told me how it was gonna be and just pressured me to do things and told me I had to suck it up and didn't let me say that the haunting nightmare of my entire life is people bossing me around while I try to get through life. ...god, I just realized, he was talking poo poo about how my mental health was only "moderately" bad and if that torpedos my second social security disability case...I don't know where the gently caress to go. While trying to get social security disability, if a *single* one of these rotating cast of randos and assholes says I'm not severely disabled to the point of not being able to work, the judge will gently caress me, and another year of trying will go to waste. Ronwayne has issued a correction as of 14:33 on Sep 3, 2021 |
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Sep 3, 2021 13:44
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Except the villagers didn't get their lives destroyed when the boy cried wolf and it was a false alarm. lovely therapists can damage you even more, to the point where the risk of constantly seeing new ones might be even greater than receiving no therapy at all. Sometimes it feels more like a wolf in a sheep suit telling another sheep their wolf-related anxieties are completely irrational and harmful. Even when done correctly, therapy is, at least for me, exhausting and draining. I have to bring yet another individual up to speed on the decades long wrestling opera as I swing wildly at whatever demons are haunting the bare caverns of my skull. Ronwayne has issued a correction as of 08:03 on Sep 4, 2021 |
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Sep 4, 2021 07:59
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What the definition of "physical health" is is highly ideological. What the definition of 'mental health' is is almost entirely ideological. When you get past the howling, non-lucid schizophrenics and extreme cases, society has to pass judgement on what constitutes a proper mind, and that mind is apparently one that holds down a job and doesn't complain too much about stuff. And I guess like that goon above experienced, apparently reporting dissidents and potential ones to three letter agencies.
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Sep 4, 2021 23:12
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Maybe its because I'm pushed past the point of exasperation but I told my parents if they hated communism, then they had better find a way to shelter, feed, and house all these houseless people or communists are going to have an easy time recruiting and handing out guns. Well off upper petit boug seem not to grasp that that huge swathe of america they look down on could easily rise up, kill them, and take their stuff, and upon realizing that, instead of asking why they'd be the bad guy, the typically go full fash. That's what would worry me Uganda, I personally, would push to see what would happen, but I fear your brother and his friends would reveal themselves to be vile technofash willing to unleash any kind of violence necessary to protect their little sliver of private property in alliance with the rich. The 1% is the primary enemy, buts its the minor nobility, the 2%-10% that make it possible for them to rule. I guess they're counting on the technology they are creating in alliance with the security state to make both peaceful and violent revolution impossible. We certainly saw federal and state agencies, both electoral and enforcement, whip out some sick turn on a dime moves with endless money to back them up and try to memory hole that police stations can be taken and burned and that socdems attempting to infiltrate the DNC would be almost instantly shut down in a spectacular manner. Ronwayne has issued a correction as of 09:10 on Sep 5, 2021 |
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Sep 5, 2021 09:05
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Yeah, the idea pain must meet some threshhold before it's "real" is bullshit. If its genuinely bothering you and preventing you from going about life, its a real problem.
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Sep 7, 2021 00:08
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Jesus, I'm sorry ACAB. Does she have any church or therapists or close real life friends or other such folks that could come over and have a talk about all of this and the need to go?
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Sep 25, 2021 02:56
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Talked to the therapist today and showed pictures of my folks house. he concurred "that's a hoarder thing" when i showed him the stacks and stacks of stuff surrounding the 3x2 meters of space i have He uh, basically told me that due to my inability to find permanent houseing elsewhere until/if SSI comes in i need to pretend i'm a biorobot at chernobyl and try to limit my toxic exposure to my parents by going in and out
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Sep 25, 2021 06:14
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One of the reasons I like this thread is we don't have to put on the usual rictus-grin punchy persona you do in most of the rest of c-spam. Part of why this thread helps is to just vent things completely earnestly.
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Sep 25, 2021 10:00
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AceOfFlames posted:It's a persona? For many of us, yes. So when we feel we have to put on a fake act to keep up with the, uh, vivacity and high energy here in C-Spam which apparently comes naturally to other folks, it can get draining. We're so used to putting up a persona in real life to get along with others that it can be very draining to come online and have to do it elsewhere too. And at least for me, after a certain point seeing people really excited, and angry, and in despair can get contagious. I try to stay mindful that, when I post about a bad day that's happening elsewhere, I might be ruining the life of someone who is also marginal and near-the-edge. This is one of the reasons I enjoy the thread is everyone comes into it with the understanding this is a live bait shop and everyone is showing off their brainworms. Ronwayne has issued a correction as of 03:10 on Sep 27, 2021 |
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Sep 27, 2021 03:05
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loving hell. I'm glad some things are getting better though. I know you don't want to deal with more stuff but it might be time to start talking with an attorney about what assets in your state they cannot seize (residences and one car per person count here in Texas) and also as awful as it sounds, it might be time to start putting your mom's will/estate together. Not having that in order when she goes is going to make her loss even more traumatic.
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Sep 27, 2021 10:18
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Arivia posted:hey there are a lot of baying hounds at the gates hoping this thread in particular gets shut down Worse it was an ironic shitposter making a 'joke' that cutting off people in c-spam from mental health resources would cause them to go on more rampages they could sit back in the comfort of their computer chair an lol hearty lols at. Gross levels of irony poisoning. I hope it works out Captain, mental health issues are so hard because they affect not just the sufferer but everyone else around them.
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Sep 29, 2021 07:45
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Also, sometimes that is not the case. Someone who needs insulin needs it for as long as the condition continues, which is often life. I don't see a point I ever go off adhd meds barring simply not being able to acquire them, for example. They regulate a persistent problem that will never go away. Medications absolutely can be part of something that continues well into the forseeable future, or even indefinitely. Ronwayne has issued a correction as of 02:07 on Sep 30, 2021 |
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Sep 30, 2021 01:43
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Uganda Loves Me posted:Same. It's not just the lack of the medication's help, but some of them give me nasty withdrawal side effects. I bought 2 weekly pill organizers, and when I'm feeling ok enough I fill them both up. I put them on my desk where I can't help but see them, so I don't forget to take it. The pill dispensers are big, so I can easily drop my big multivitamin and omega 3 pills in there with everything else. The bottom is removable, so it's very easy to fill it. When I only had one pill organizer, I would use all the meds and sometimes not feel like filling it back up at the appropriate time. Now I just switch to the other pill organizer and fill the first one when I feel up to it. I notice the difference if I take my meds a few hours later than usual. I tried to make it as easy as possible to take my medication when I need it. Heads up, while those things are handy, they're also technically illegal since you can't store medication in anything beyond its labeled container. The pharmacist/docs hammered in this point that if cops wanted to be dicks, they could charge you with meth possession for having adderal/its generic out of its container, just something to keep in mind if you're travelling. Any other medication on a schedule has this risk. (ALWAYS keep meds in original containers when traveling)
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Sep 30, 2021 19:24
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My recent therapists have kept telling me to go to this local shelter and both don't seem to care that I freak out when I get shoved into yet another regimented, controlled environment no matter how nice the people around are. I have a lot of respect for folks in grad school because to me it just sounds like ritualized hazing and gate keeping. In addition to being out of the workforce for good, I don't think I could ever deal with any sort of in-person classroom setting or deadlines.
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Sep 30, 2021 19:33
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Chuka Umana posted:Started a job at a psychiatric hospital this week and I'm already wanting to quit. The level of misconduct and incompetence in that facility is incomprehensible, and I researched on Google and disability rights advocates have condemned the place as well as it having been put on probation by the state regulator. I thought I was signing up to take part in counseling and helping other addicts and people in a rough spot, instead I got paperwork and taking out the loving trash gently caress my life. Doesn't help I was put in the most unit with the most aggressive patients to start. loving hell, I'm sorry CU. As someone who had to visit such places (in the professional capacity rather than the client), I know first hand poorly run mental health inpatient facilities are one of the closer examples we have to Hell on Earth, which is one of the reasons I'm extremely hesitant to go to one voluntarily and am actively terrified of being sent to one involuntarily. Ronwayne has issued a correction as of 23:36 on Oct 9, 2021 |
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Oct 9, 2021 23:33
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That is a tough spot, I agree, but please do not hurt yourself just to build a resume. Pete Buttigeig is an example of the kind of creature you get when someone devotes their entirely life to building the perfect resume. I might be an extreme example, but I've found the most happiness when I fell out of the workforce entirely and even though it loving sucks trying to get food and disability and medication, I'm far less miserable than when I was working and trying to "build a career". I am less miserable making $0 a year beyond what I can beg for than I was making $60,000 and wanting to die. At the end of the day there are ways to live, that are not entirely awful, that don't involve an endless parade of classes, certifications, and long hours worked with awful people. Don't worry about wasting your life if you're not building a career, the parts of my life I think were most wasted were working, especially in awful situations I felt I had to continue in. Ronwayne has issued a correction as of 23:11 on Oct 12, 2021 |
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Oct 12, 2021 23:06
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gently caress everyone who encourages self destructive, miserable behavior because if you don't do it "It'll look bad on your resume/bad for your career". Its like the career is the actual person and me, I'm just a vestigial attachment to it like one of those anglerfish.
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Oct 13, 2021 04:39
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There's a difference between making kids eat their vegetables and get their vaccines vs making them study four hours a night and driving them relentlessly to get 4.0 gpa at top schools.
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Oct 13, 2021 06:22
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| # ¿ May 10, 2024 17:50 |
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I got a degree and about 20 years of work history before I snapped. It just really was one final awful boss who humiliated me constantly, gave no raises beyond a 2% CoL and told me I was getting too old to hire and they could get a new grad from Brigham Young Uni whenever they wanted before I realized this whole 'work' thing was a scam that was never going to get better. After half a dozen mental breakdowns over the years the message finally got through.
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Oct 13, 2021 19:15
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