(Thread IKs:
Josherino)
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Okan170 posted:stuff ya man, I get you. the system for finding decent mental health coverage is not loving easy. but, and i know you probably don't want to hear this, it is possible. it took me a while to find someone that got me but since finding one my life has improved immeasurably. at the time when i first met this guy (who specializes in anxiety) my anxiety was at its height and i found some rad new phobia which was elevators. when i took the elevator up to his office i told him about that and he said, "oh nice! that elevator probably makes me so much money." we laugh about stuff like that all the time and apparently that was the weird niche therapist i needed. keep looking. and if ur getting tired of telling the same story just don't even bother. literally say, "i'm so tired of saying the same things over and over to every new therapist, here's what i want to improve lets work on that. gently caress my past you can probably figure it out anyway." also sliding scale therapists are great.
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Jun 10, 2019 09:21
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Okan170 posted:Every piece I read on CBT and anxiety treatment indicates that its basically a matter of pretending you're not anxious and trying to prevent yourself from falling back into it- nothing ever stops, it just becomes a fight you have to fight every day forever. This is really common in mental health and most of us, myself included have done this: Basically our ailments become pretty substantial pieces of our lives and the thought of losing them carries with it what we perceive as a radical and therefore scary change. For an anxious person, that's a terrifying thought because at least we knew what the future held before, no future uncertainty. So naturally the brain's mechanism is to say, "no no, that won't work, this won't work," and poof, we now don't have to go through therapy and do the necessary work to get better. I can't remember the phrase but it's something like assuming we're the expert and that we know better than doctors. Case in point: the berserker style of anxiety treatment is exactly the opposite of what I quoted above. That technique never tells you to pretend you're not anxious. Sanguinary Novel posted:Can you have caregiver burnout for taking care of your dumb self? Of course, it can be exhausting just existing sometimes. Sanguinary Novel posted:And what is the limit of what I can ask of others of forgiveness and understanding of my flaws? In a perfect world, I could be my best under perfect conditions, but I still have a social contract to fulfill and there's only so much people will look past. You have the right to ask for something and they have the right to set boundaries and say no. In the context of lets say a relationship, you have to the right to tell your significant other that you tend to get irritable after work so you'd like an hour alone when you get home in the evenings. They have the right to "forgive" that or not, maybe they cite that because he/she works the graveyard shift it's the only time you two have together every day. Then it's up to you two as adults to weigh things and decide what to do. If they don't "forgive" (not my favorite word for this situation) your ask, then again it's up to you two as adults to decide what that means for the relationship. It applies to non-mental health related issues as well. My buddy snores so he and his gf have worked out a system, it's her decision as adult to say no this won't work or yes it will. Everyone has agency. thehandtruck has issued a correction as of 08:08 on Jun 11, 2019 |
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Jun 11, 2019 06:06
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Dragomorph posted:
lol that owns. had the same exchange with my very first therapist many years ago. one thing to remember in that same vein as your positive post is that there was a time when the word capitalism wasn't even in the normal american lexicon. now it's front and center. being talked about and critiqued often. even normies/centrists don't recoil at the word as quickly anymore. as things get worse (i.e. rent and healthcare become more untenable) the arguments for leftist policies become so much easier to argue: "wait you work full time and cant afford to live, does that sound right to you?" also more and more boomers are dying every day and gen z, although somewhat enveloped by consumerism, are extremely open to leftist ideology. the future looks bright good luck my friend and thanks for the website
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Aug 4, 2019 09:45
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Raskolnikov38 posted:i realize the thread title is probably a joke but a NYC psychologist has an ad in this quarter's DSA democratic left newsletter can you post the ad or take a pic of it please? I was talking to someone about this the other day but there are a few very minor code of ethics issues and Im curious to see how it's worded
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Sep 8, 2019 06:41
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Yossarian-22 posted:wwhy cspam is piss. why cspam is piss #italiano i think it's good to set boundaries and management expectations with what you want to get out of the forums. for me i try to look at them like it's a place to get some laughs and maybe some information. trying to change it or make it better is fine but imo its good to limit how much effort you put into it. the nature of the medium makes it very easy to attack someone or get into a little flame war so resist, ignore, and disengage often 13 years on these dead gay forums and magically it's still around, still interesting and still funny. it's fine
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Sep 11, 2019 08:16
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Jollity Farm posted:I am anxious about being anxious and it's not much fun. I was supposed to have an appointment with the Work and Health programme connected to the Job Centre, but I had a big anxiety attack (chest pains, thinking about suicide) and cancelled it. Now the woman from the Job Centre is going to call "at some point" to arrange another appointment, and this makes me anxious, even though I will never quite be able to explain why. I feel ashamed of my anxiety (and depression), so I end up not telling people how it affects me, because I'm sure they'll be thinking I'm just making excuses to be idle. But then pretending I'm a normal person very quickly gets overwhelming and I end up freaking out and making a fool of myself. I probably look like the world's oldest toddler throwing a tantrum. Although I would tell other people that "running away screaming is always an option", I still feel like crap when it's me doing it. I feel as though people tried to be friendly and I just threw it back in their face. I feel as though I am causing everyone no small amount of trouble. I wish I could stop being human and not have to deal with people and society. I could be a formless spectre and just observe everything without having to be involved. I could be a statue, I sometimes feel as though I'm so inactive that I might be turning into a statue anyway. Clinical depression is where you're turning into a statue on the inside. I'll post about this again so apologies to anyone who's had to read this already but the kind of things you're talking about make me think you might respond well to sentence repetition/exposure therapy. I had crippling anxiety for years and all of the calm yourself down by breathing and counting the colors in the room techniques did jack poo poo. Anyway I found a therapist who taught me sentence repetition and it gave me my life back. The gist of it is you pick a sentence that is so awful to you that it can actually hurt to think about. For me it was the embarrassment of having anxiety and needing to leave wherever I was and go home like from a restaurant, movie theatre, whatever. So my therapist would have me close my eyes and repeat either in my head or out loud, "I'm going to be anxious. I'm going to be anxious. I'm going to be anxious. I'm going to be anxious. I'm going to be anxious. I'm going to be anxious." over and over until eventually either A) the sentence lost its meaning and became boring, or B) my brain would go, "nah, ur fine". The tougher the thing, the longer it took. For really hard things it may take 10 minutes for my brain to switch over. It's a way to take advantage of our stupid poo poo brains' obstinate side and use that to our advantage. The secondary positive of this is YOU get to choose when you're anxious, not your stupid loving brain. YOU get to choose when you feel bad. That first session when I got to play offense instead of defense for the first time in years was amazing. It's a technique that is most successful with very intense anxiety but works with all levels. I don't remember the exact neuropsychology but iirc you are essentially letting your hypothalamus do the work it wants to do and then move on like it's supposed to. Just using your post and the post of the goon who moved to Australia here are some examples of sentences you and they could try: "I'm going to be anxious and I'll look stupid." "I won't be able to fall asleep." "People can tell I'm anxious/different/weird." "I'm going to die (from the chest pains)." If some seem more difficult than others start off with ones that are less intense. It took me some time to work up to "I'm going to die" in reference to chest pains or bullshit psychosomatic symptoms I used to get. Reiterating: 1) Say the sentence aloud or in your head. The sentence should hurt, ideally physically (for me it's always in my stomach). 2) Picture the thing, if the sentence is you being unable to sleep, picture yourself tossing and turning and crying because you can't get to sleep. 3) Do it until your brain switches over. And echoing the thread, see a therapist. They don't care if you're weird, they're weird too.
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Sep 20, 2019 02:01
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BrokenGameboy posted:But why have principles of there is no way to act upon them? This post and your other post show that you have a good heart and care about others. Your frustration is felt and you just need to channel them into your own growth first. Also the principles are not important. What philosophical axis you (or internet weirdos) have determined is correct is also not important. What's important is trying to live your best life with the best version of you that's possible in that moment. If you feel organizing is important but aren't sure if it has substantial value to our leftist goals, do organizing 1 week and the next week give some food to a homeless person or volunteer at a shelter. That way even if you're wrong about the more cerebral things like principles, organizing, whatever, you're still literally helping others and the rest is bonus.
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Oct 30, 2019 02:52
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VomitOnLino posted:I guess I'll come forward with some stuff of my own. I dunno if I need therapy or anything, but I guess it couldn't hurt? I've been doing comparatively well financially, as in: I can pay my bills, I have no outstanding debts and even have a bit of cash saved although that supply has been dwindling recently. I have a creative hobby that I pursue with great relish (and sometimes great disappointment - as all creative endeavors) and a small but close circle of friends, so it sounds - to me - as if I'm whinging on a very high level, but alas. These are very profound dream elements you've been able to extract. It's not easy and you should feel proud at that ability. When you do search for a therapist, try adding the "Jungian" tag on psychologytoday profiles. These therapists will have a lot of experience with dream interpretation and will probably be insight based; my 2c says that could be pretty effective for you right now. Personally I had a lot of trouble making progress with solution-based therapy and/or cognitive-behavioral theory. I needed deep insights and the ability to sit safely with my pain with a professional to move forward, and your post resonated with my history quite a bit. And just a note on CBT. It's a very common type of therapy right now because when you bill your insurance they want firm timelines and increments and eventually an end to therapy so they don't have to keep paying for it. A therapist can much more easily get paid by insurance if they have those timelines, whereas saying, "well I dunno we're going to explore what we explore for some undefinable amount of time and hopefully they will see improvements." Which is a real shame because CBT, which can be INCREDIBLY effective for MANY scenarios, doesn't always provide the opportunity to really sit with your poo poo and process it. In American society we are taught to avoid all negative feelings and supplant them with consumerism (thanks capitalism) even if those "negative" feelings are actually there to help us. Insight based therapies are really there to help you explore those feelings and understand why you have them and where they come from. edit: if that sounds like an attack on therapists it's not it's directed at insurance companies/capitalism
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Nov 14, 2019 09:06
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SunAndSpring posted:Feel like I’ve got issues with control. I just get really irritated when people do stuff or act in ways I consider improper and I get really upset when I get into situations where it seems like everything is out of my control, like job interviews. I’m not really sure if that’s a specific psychological thing or just a side effect of other stuff, but what kind of therapy would, I dunno, let me feel more ok with not being able to order everything how I want? Absolutely it would. Probably through CBT; i.e. training you into being ok with that. Or unconscious exploration; i.e. what event(s) in your life did not having control really effect you? Both are drastically different avenues and both could be helpful. (But you don't have to pick one exclusively, some therapists use blended treatments/theories.) edit: Just read some other posts you made itt. Group therapy (process groups, not psychoeducational groups) might be right up your alley. It can be really loving beautiful to be in a room healing with other people as they heal and trans people really need each other right now, given the current state of things. I promise the other people there would benefit from your spirit and you would benefit from theirs too. Good luck my friend. thehandtruck has issued a correction as of 23:39 on Nov 18, 2019 |
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Nov 18, 2019 23:12
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Ditched my therapist after 2-3 months of biweekly sessions. I sensed a bit of counter transference but I just assumed it was me being hyper-critical to try and find a reason to stop going so I powered through. There were a few other tiny issues and I was fine with that since all therapists are people and can make tiny mistakes and most mistakes you won't notice unless you're in the field or adjacent to it. The straw that broke the camels back though was that she'd have her phone in front of her and would check it when it would buzz from a text. Pretty loving distracting when I'm crying etc. The last sessions she checked it 5 times and I decided that was enough for me. A shame because she was pretty adept in other important ways. Anyway my point is if you aren't jiving with your person it's time to move on. The thread title, again, is all I can think of.
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Dec 5, 2019 19:51
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everyone please watch ds9 for solidarity purposes it is the most cspam television show of all time and ill feel good knowing one of you feel good watching it okay bye yes yes i know drive through
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Dec 12, 2019 08:07
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Jollity Farm posted:I do also worry that I'm making the death of my brother's cat "all about me", and that it's horribly selfish. I have the best brain, just the absolute best You are an empathic person and genuinely feel your brother's pain and his cat's pain strongly. Your brain is trying to make sense of that and the box of "making it about me" works nicely because it lets you A) hate yourself and B) ignore your empathic side. Both A and B are clear by products of our society and fit perfectly within our society since they both dovetail perfectly with capitalism. People who feel other's emotion have a tough time fitting into our modern, atomized society and I'm willing to bet they are over-represented in this thread for that reason. Just to add a related tidbit here: In Iceland, the worlds highest educated country per capita, 54% of people believe in faeries or invisible folk. And people who claim they speak with invisible folk on a daily basis have businesses where they are consultants for civil engineering projects by either private construction companies or governments who are building something. thehandtruck has issued a correction as of 03:24 on Dec 13, 2019 |
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Dec 13, 2019 02:03
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D1Sergo posted:It's $40 for a tumbler and a month of free drip coffee, its a corporate souvenir and I'm posting on C-SPAM. She married wealthy and has an entitled view of people's time, I've worked near-minimum wage for much of my life and rely on the bus to get around. It was 2 o clock and I was scheduled to take the bus home at 4 o clock while she was wasting my Christmas family time with corporate junk, but apparently she intended to drive me home but never told me about it so I'm the jerk for not just letting her do her Starbucks thing. I'm gonna 360noscope a bunch of assumptions on this one and give it a whirl: That post and the one before it scream Family Systems imbalances. We all become the person and take on the role that we need to to survive our family system and help it to maintain homeostasis. Eventually we grow up, move out, sometimes marry partners, and create our own system where we might have different roles. The problems come when we go back home for the holidays and everyone expects us to fit back into that role that we were growing up. Sometimes it's not a problem and we can feel ourselves assuming that role again. But other times we've learned that role wasn't healthy for us. Maybe we decided we don't want to be the Absorber of poo poo anymore and attempt to break out of that role into another. Other elements of that family system like the Prince/Princess/Giver of poo poo are usually not going to like that, and altercations arise. It sounds to me like you broke the rules and assumed a different role than the one you were assigned, and your sisters got mad. Often when families show up to session they will point to one person (the Identified Patient) and say, "Look at him, he's the one with depression, anxiety, drug addiction, FIX HIM!". And in a lot of those cases, the therapist barely has to speak to the IP because the issues exist within the family SYSTEM, not the IP. Often the IP is the absorber of the families problems and that's why he presents with clinical issues. https://www.innerchange.com/parents-resources/family-roles/ Which role do you think you are? (Hint: 95% itt myself included are that same role) I guess what I'm trying to say is, go easy on yourself. Give yourself some love and understand whatever happened wasn't all on your shoulders. If you have any other questions feel free to PM me.
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Dec 27, 2019 01:11
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new kind of cat posted:what kind of anxiety/depression mixture causes compulsive plucking of facial hair any time my fingers are idle and how do i stop feeling this because i’m developing bald patches in my fuckibg beard and it’s just adding on to the poo poo pile of emotional volatility that i am and i really need to be better for my infant sons sake but i really feel like i’m failing him and my wife in enormous ways lately and i’m just so sunken and feeling like me being dead would be better for all involved gently caress GODDAMN even though i know that ain’t true goddamn man just want to scream but that poo poo is caught in a painful knot in my throat ahh All kinds. It sounds like you could really benefit from talking to a professional. Are you able to do that right now? Also there's nothing wrong with punching a pillow or going into the woods and screaming as a healthy release valve.
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Jan 7, 2020 04:25
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I'm very sorry to hear about your aunt. Capitalism has separated us from the tools of processing grief that we've used for thousands of years and now we are cold and alone and are just starting to figure out how to reacquire those tools. Secondly all of your thoughts and feelings are totally founded and in many ways healthy. They are proof of your love for your aunt and your wanting the world to be better and to exist in it without so much pain and fear. But, it will take some time really sitting with those "negative" feelings and not pushing them away to process your aunt's quick death as well as your place in this world, and your purpose. If you're suicidal, or feel you could be, all of this should be done with the help of a professional. Armchairing here but you probably have had those feelings towards the world and your place in it for a very long time, were able to push them down, and your aunt's death has forced them to resurface. She has given you a gift, reminding you to reexamine your life so that you can be fulfilled and maybe even happy. I'm very sorry you've had bad experiences in the past with therapy. Sometimes it takes a couple tries to find the right therapist, I recently terminated mine and am starting to look for a new one (a healthy process I've done on and off for a decade). Also many therapists slide so it should be doable to find something in your price range. Psychologytoday.com lets you sort by modality, theory, cost, etc. Feel free to PM me or ask here if you have any questions about finding a therapist. It's scary but really beneficial. thehandtruck has issued a correction as of 06:07 on Jan 9, 2020 |
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Jan 8, 2020 16:25
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There was a time when the mental health profession at large viewed gay people as unhealthy and ill by definition. The people changed it and now that view would literally cause a professional to lose their license, full loving stop, instantly. I'm extremely convinced that there will be a time when wealth addiction and rich people will be viewed as the insidious things they are and that leftist views will become the norm. Whatever people did to accomplish that first goal, do that but with this and have faith in the mental health community. And if it's important to you, bring it up to your therapist! 
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Jan 14, 2020 00:57
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Saw a few posts asking 'How do I find a therapist?' and "How do I know they're good" so I wrote some stuff: The first thing to do is try to think about what you want to get out of therapy. Are you anxious and want to be less anxious? Are you depressed and want to be less depressed? Is the piss tape real?(Yes) Are you having relationship issues and want them to get better? Or, you don't know what you want to get out of therapy but you do know something isn't right, which is fine too. After you've thought about the above, go to PsychologyToday.com and put in your city. On the left you can start adding filters such as insurance. You can also sort by price and if they slide (meaning do they have a sliding scale based off of what you're able to pay, which most do). There are also options for Online Counseling if you are unable to go in person due to any reason. (I would encourage in-person but online is better than not going at all.) You'll also see "Issues" on the left where you can pick something that speaks out to you. Most issues are related so don't worry too much diagnosing yourself and picking the right issue. These are professionals and they will know what the issue is. You can also sort by theory. So if you've read about DBT for instance and really think it's right for you, click that. If you're not sure, don't worry, these are professionals and they will know what theories to try. All therapists you'll find on here will favor 1 or 2 theories of treatment but will be experienced in working in a variety of theories/methods so I wouldn't get too hung up on this unless there is something you're looking for in particular. Okay I've populated a huge list of mind nerds, now what? Take a look at their picture first off. Does anyone strike you as off-putting, or chuddlike? Go with your gut here! It doesn't mean your gut is right, but your gut is telling you that you won't be able to work well with that person. And that's okay. Don't force yourself to work with someone who isn't the right fit for you. Notice how on the left you can also sort by man or woman. This is also okay. And this may not be kosher for this forum but even if someone is of a certain group that you have prejudice towards do not force yourself to see them. You aren't doing anyone any favors or changing the world or ending racism/classism/sexism by wasting your time and money going to see someone you can't make progress with. Once you've filtered some people out, take a look at their bio. Does anyone strike you as interesting? Anyone say something that really resonates with you? If someone sneaks in, "kids today don't have any grit," they're probably not for you. Conversely if they mention how powerful economic issues are in influencing our mental health, it might be working talking to said comrade. Once again, go with your gut. Okay I've got 4-5 people that seem weird enough for me. Give 'em a call! All therapists should do a free 15-20 minute FREE phone consultation. You will never have to pay for that phone call even if you decide to continue with them. Talk to them, be open, tell them what your reservations are. Then, listen. When they responded did you feel like you could open up to that person in session? Or did you feel like it'll be an uphill battle? If you didn't click with them, dump their fuckin rear end and move on. I jumped in and have been seeing a therapist weekly for a month. Is my therapist good/is therapy working? Great question. Generally I would ask you, "do you feel like you've been able to open up to that person, and how do you feel when you do open up?" If you've been able to explore things with them and you feel comfortable with them, I think that's good. There's no perfect metric because let's say you went into your first session wanting to work on your depression, there may be other things that have to be worked through first before the depression can be alleviated. Or if you're anxious, you might always be anxious going into session, it doesn't mean that therapist isn't good or that therapy isn't working. I think in some ways it's better to ask, can I see myself growing in this space with this person or have we hit a wall? It's very difficult because someone who is just starting to work through some very scary stuff might start to tell themselves their therapist sucks as an excuse to quit. It's a tricky question but for me I could usually tell between 4 and 8 sessions if I could work with this person. So ya jump the gently caress in and get your brain fixed. You can always tell them something isn't working and see if they can change it, if not, dump 'em and move on to someone else. That's their job. You are paying them, you are the client. And if you're unsure if a thing is you or the therapist, feel free to ask in the thread or if you're wondering what a certain theory will be like, ask away.
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Jan 17, 2020 17:00
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Hey team had a question for you guys just out of curiosity: What kinds of therapy/treatment have you tried and what kind of success did you see with them and what did that success look like and was the success lasting? Probly going to get a lot of CBT itt so I'm curious about that but also other types of therapy people might have tried like humanistic, existential, psychodynamic, jungian, etc etc. If ur not cool with this chokes no prob lemme know and I'll remove this
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Jan 25, 2020 08:39
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Honest Thief posted:An hr person suggested me to see therapy, because I lack to show any motivation and am kinda up and down most of the time, specifically the type she goes to cognizant behavioural? I'm probably going to take her suggestion at heart but what sort of therapy is that? CBT. CBT is the capitalist's attempt at therapy. In fact many argue that it isn't therapy at all but an "approach". In CBT the therapist's job is to help the client become aware of their thoughts, how those thoughts are "wrong" (aka Cognitive Distortions) and how those "wrong" thoughts lead to behaviors. It has become a very common form of therapy as wages have gone down over the years and insurance companies have become more strict. CBT offers a strict timeline of when you'll get better (  ) and insurance companies love this because they want to know when it will be over so they can stop paying for it. It assumes all humans are the same and therefore they will be able to follow a similar schedule so it's no wonder it often follows a normative stance on people. Here's an example: Kid comes and presents with some anger issues. Mom says he yells at her sometimes, usually after he gets back from his dad's house. CBT will have the kid use replacement behaviors like punching a pillow. Okay, great, that is actually a healthy behavior. But what happens when that replacement behavior gets tiresome, or the kid gets older? CBT will never address the unconscious dilemma his kid has of getting mad at his mom since he lives with her and knows she won't leave him -- whereas his dad already left him twice and he's worried if he gets mad at his dad he'll leave again. CBT never tries to heal past trauma. Got raped and now you're anxious in alleys? Tough poo poo, here's some homework. CBT never takes the family system or social system into account. Anger issues because you live in a bad neighorhood and you're addict mom makes you into a lookout to make some extra money, tough poo poo, punch a pillow (real case btw). CBT never looks at the origins or issues, never looks at the unconscious. There's a reason most CBT studies don't go past 3-4 years and it's kind of a joke in my circle tbh. I will say this though, CBT has two really good points to it: 1) In this shithole country we teach people to avoid and ignore their emotions people barely know what they're thinking and feeling on the day to day basis. Americans only know how to ask themselves, "am I happy?", to which the answer is always gently caress NO, to which the next course of action is to spend money to try and change that answer. So getting people to at least learn to be aware of their thoughts and emotions is pretty cool and if you only have maybe 3-10 sessions with someone because they're coming from a government agency, it makes sense to use this approach. 2) I did CBT 3-4 years ago and although now I see where it was a lot less useful and didn't really allow me to solve underlying issues, at the time I couldn't even leave my room and it patched me up and gave me some techniques I still use today. In a way it's a bandaid, patching you up so you can get back to doing whatever. It doesn't really ask the question of, are you fulfilling your purpose in life? Which is exactly why corporate gods lean towards it, so you can be patched up and ready to go back to the office. So it makes sense your corporate HR husk would suggest CBT. So yeah I mean even though it gets poo poo on it's actually pretty useful in a lot of ways and I don't want to say you shouldn't do CBT. But just look around, read a bit, see if CBT or anything else clicks with you. There's some info in the op too that might help u find stuff
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Jan 29, 2020 19:02
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Chokes McGee posted:this is a gross misinterpretation of CBT and falls under “don’t tell people not to get therapy,” even if you walk it back later. Don’t do this. Wait what part of that don't you like? If anything I thought I was pulling punches and being pretty tame. CBT has been described that way by therapists for a while now
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Jan 29, 2020 19:24
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Chokes McGee posted:Seriously, I've never been put on a "timeline" for CBT and in fact it got me out of the goddamn hospital and functional again. Any therapy can be poorly applied, but if you think catastrophizing like "I embarrased myself once, therefore I'm worthless" isn't maladaptive and needing of correction then I don't know what to tell you. fair about the timeline but isn't the rest exactly what I typed out?
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Jan 29, 2020 19:28
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If you're in the area: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/groups/ca/los-angeles/164265?sid=5e32e26e5c4fe&ref=16&rec_next=421&tr=ResultsName
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Feb 9, 2020 11:40
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Ruth Bader Meinhof posted:Hey, so this is kind of a weird way to do this, but this is my all time first post. I was scrolling back a little bit killing time at work, being kinda sad, and thought I'd respond to this, or at least speak to the psychodynamic therapy right now. Caveat is: all this is my experience. Ultimately everybody's brain works differently and I don't want to say one thing will work when another will do better. Hey cool, thanks for sharing!
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Feb 11, 2020 05:34
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Strep Vote posted:I'm giving up on getting out of bed. how come?
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Feb 12, 2020 04:08
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Alvarez IV posted:This is gonna be mega-depressing and political in nature, so if you need to remain optimistic to complete a task, or tasks, or for any reason at all, maybe don't read this. Also, formatting is hard, so it's going to be a wall o' text. Political stuff can be very hard to weather. The ramifications of elections are so great and so many people are affected and the level of affectedness is so great that in order to ignore it or not be as affected by it takes a great deal of compartmentalizing. Some people, normies, libs, whatever, do this by employing defense mechanisms which usually look something like, "those people choose to be homeless - if they didn't want to put in cages they should have stayed in their country - just work harder - etc". These people are not stupid, but have shoved the realities of politics and life in this country into their unconscious closet because it is so incredibly painful to feel the vast amount of pain and have no way to fix it. Walking down the street every day and seeing homeless people, or needing a shirt for a job interview and knowing every shirt was made in some way through child labor, these are sometimes impossibly painful truths to face, and so they throw them in the unconscious closet and the door to that closet is the silly things you hear like the "choose to be homeless" and other stuff. But what happens is someone has to acknowledge these painful realities, someone has to be extremely aware and politically knowledgeable to actually push for the changes, since the normies or libs or broke brained chuds aren't strong enough to face it. Unfortunately, that's us. Maybe because of our roles in our family system or some other unknown reason we are the Absorbers. We absorb the pain and more importantly the information and truths that society is trying to forget. Most people in cpsam had that role of the absorber of problems (and hence present with clinical issues) in their family system and now that they've graduated to a larger societal system they are the absorbers of there too. The Absorber is as we've seen a very painful role and the only way to survive that role without committing suicide is to find others. Other like-minded people and other people to share, or dilute the pain and information with. Trying to take it on all by ourselves will not work because the human brain did not evolve to be able to do that. I sincerely hope you give therapy another try. If you've tried one type of therapy (it was probably CBT) try another type, maybe something insight-based. If you've tried a therapist who is insight based, maybe look for someone who does CBT. I also sincerely hope that you diversify where you put your time and energy. Try to work on changing the world on the big political stage, but also the small stage. Yes, if you campaign for Bernie and canvas and knock on your doors until your knuckles bleed and he loses, that will loving suck. No way around that. But if you are doing that and helping the local homeless population, then even if Bernie loses, you still literally helped people. That is a fact that cannot be taken away from you. Lastly what I want to say is, there are people whose job it is to get Bernie into the whitehouse. He has teams of lawyers going over the Iowa stuff and teams of smart weirdos whose actual job it is to win. Let them carry some of the weight, it's not all on you. Mentally give them some of that responsibility and leave some of your responsibility at home where you can take care of yourself because you deserve it because you have been carrying and absorbing all your life. Good luck.
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Feb 14, 2020 20:02
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Equeen posted:Another rejection after I what thought was one of my best interviews. I thought I made an honest connection with the interviewer while giving good answers. God, I'm a failure. What's wrong me, is it my speech, how I look, am I too low energy? Am I just that undeserving of having a decent paying office job with benefits? Can the interviewers sense how much of a desperate loser I am? I'm very sorry about the rejection and would like to offer a short anecdote to hopefully lessen that sinking feeling even a tiny bit: I worked in human resources for a few years in small to medium sized tech companies. I was present during almost every interview and assisted the hiring manager (usually the lead of the department, sometimes executives) in making the final call. In one interview we were looking for a backend engineer to help with some apps and it had taken one month from him applying to him coming into the office after reviewing his resume, sending it to the hiring manager, phone screening, and finally a code test. The salary was around 100k/yr and the interview took 3 hours total with 2 hours coding with our engineers and about 45 min with me and the hiring manager afterwards for "culture fit". When I met him he was a little drained after the code test but was decently nice, maybe a tad quiet, definitely nervous, but definitely within the acceptable range to work with 3-4 other people and crank out some code. Typical engineer personality and both me and the HM would have given him the green light except when we quickly regrouped with everyone from the code test portion they said he did terribly. The HM and I were a little bummed but hey if he couldn't do the job and his code wasn't up to par, what can we do right? We ended up hiring some dumbass yangganger who did a terrible job post-hire but nailed the interview. Firing people is a huge chore so we just had everyone work extra to make up for his lovely work and paid overtime to half the engineers. It was probably 500% more expensive than hiring a competent engineer but what the gently caress do I care, it's not my money. Anyway a few months later our water cooler breaks so I have to walk all the way to the other side of the office (which I rarely go to) in the engineering section to fill my water bottle. I overhear the engineers who did the code test with the original guy and laughing at how badly he did and asking each other why'd he even apply to be a frontend developer. I stopped them and asked to repeat that and it turns out they were testing him as if he was a frontend engineer instead of a backend and obviously that's why he crashed in the code test. This kind of poo poo happens all the time, everywhere. There are a 1000 nonsense reasons why people get rejected. There's almost no rhyme or reason to it at all (unless you smell bad) and you shouldn't hate yourself for getting rejected because it's total chaos theory. One of my colleagues rejected someone because he didn't want to do the paperwork and he has no incentive for a department he's not connected to to being successful. Another colleague rejected people because he wanted to go with the guy who would talk about "art" with him. The interviewing world is all a complete farce and that job drove me to getting out of the corporate world and into mental health. So it may not make you feel better to know the hiring system and companies are totally loving idiotic, but hopefully you can at least know it's them and not you.
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Feb 27, 2020 02:34
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Unsinkabear posted:If you don't mind me asking, what are you doing in the mental health field and how hard was it for you to make that transition? Dont wanna doxx myself but its not a hard transition. Regarding you not feeling qualified: 1) All therapists are weirdos and crackpots with issues just like everyone else. One of my professors used to ask, "What was your family system like that made you need to become a therapist?" Therapists are the one's who got squeezed out of society, and their fuckedupness is what helps them know how to help other people's fuckedupness. What's that Jung quote? "Bring me a sane man and I'll cure him." 2) Anyone can be a therapist. I know people love to gatekeep their jobs but the truth is 99% of people can do 99% of jobs, therapists are no different. Sure you learn some theories and treatments in school and while getting your hours but imo the hardest work is on yourself, to prevent unwanted countertransference and give good treatment in the room. All the non hosed up people just became normies, how boring is that? Go get yourself a brain degree. thehandtruck has issued a correction as of 10:50 on Feb 28, 2020 |
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Feb 28, 2020 10:09
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Chokes McGee posted:Parents calling, potentially using a routine operation to guilt me into thinking my mom is on her deathbed and getting me to apologize for being an abuse victim Sunday Funday!
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Mar 1, 2020 20:51
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Lightning Knight posted:I’ve been having manic episodes and severe mood swings the past four days that are completely new symptoms for me. I need to go see a therapist but that’s really hard with my work schedule even tho I have insurance. In that case I strongly recommend you consider therapists who do video counseling (many do). It's much easier to work around tight schedules. and I have one in about 10 minutes. `
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Mar 3, 2020 18:54
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Feeling deflated, but not quite depressed or anxious. I know that even if Bernie loses the country has been pushed so much further left than it was and M4A is permanently inside the overton window. Fast forward 4-6 years and people's health insurance is still loving them beyond belief. Capitalism itself does better marketing for M4A than any commercial Bernie could run. I'm going to let myself feel down tomorrow and not push it away, not to try and hurt myself but to create a space to process the lovely feelings. Then I'm going to canvas. edit: oh ya and I read every post so it's never shouting into nothingness thehandtruck has issued a correction as of 08:52 on Mar 4, 2020 |
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Mar 4, 2020 08:48
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Zvahl posted:Also I made myself make a phone call just to talk to the Urgent Care people, and if anyone was curious, it's like Chokes said, they will do refills for scrips you have and are out of for psych meds, but won't prescribe them themselves. Good job, you did a hard thing and deserve the r&r after it. As for the other stuff, I've been reading your posts and it sounds like you're going through a lot. I wish I could help more than just saying a few words but this is what I have: The place in your life where you're at right now is really challenging, your past experiences and brain have teamed up to tell you: I Can't Be Happy, I Don't Deserve To Be Happy, I Don't Have Any Power Over My Life. While the cards are certainly stacked against you, each of those statements is factually and logically incorrect. You make a little progress in getting better and your brain freaks out. It thinks some big change is coming, something new and different (sobriety, happiness, whatever). So it pulls out alllll the stops to make sure that change doesn't happen, "No I can't post in the TCC thread because it will make them sad, No I can't do this because it will hurt other people, etc." And those mechanisms your brain is using don't make you a bad or lovely person, these are 100% normal things our brains do to return to a state of familiarity, even if that familiarity/status quo is loving awful. (Does this remind you of a certain political climate?). The constant dance of taking a few steps forward and then a step backwards is incredibly draining, and you are courageous for continuing to do that dance and trying to get better even though it's immensely painful. It is proof that you do want to get better but your brain wants to stay the same. The tension between those two opposite goals is where anxiety, depression, and tiredness come from. The last thing I want to say is that not a single thing you're going through or emotion you're feeling is "wrong". Don't poo poo on yourself for not wanting to go to group therapy because you don't have the energy or whatever, it's good actually! You know your own pace, nobody else does. Do we yell at the obese guy who goes to the gym for the first time in 10 years to lose weight when he can only do 1 minute on the elliptical? gently caress NO. Even posting your problems in this thread, you're that guy at 1 minute on the elliptical! Give yourself some credit  . Anyway, I wish you the best and feel free to PM me anytime.
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Mar 5, 2020 22:19
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Who Is Paul Blart posted:all conservatives are happier than me, I’m considering converting I can promise you without a shadow of a doubt they are not happy. The psychological basis of spite (hurting yourself in order to hurt others) does not come from a place of happiness.
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Mar 8, 2020 22:37
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Uncle Wemus posted:this week has just been one long stomach ache of depression. how do you guys cling to life at this point? Man I just lean the gently caress in. Trying to avoid depression when I know it's coming is the worst feeling ever. Instead of avoiding it I try to bring it on faster through sentence repetitions, sad music and sad movies. Eventually I mine all of that sweet sweet coal by bringing it to the surface and then the mine is empty and I feel better and can be productive and fight and kill the things that made me depressed in the first place. I posted about sentence repetitions/exposure therapy earlier ITT. Even though I'm not a fan of CBT, these particular CBT techniques are really powerful and useful. thehandtruck has issued a correction as of 08:17 on Mar 9, 2020 |
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Mar 9, 2020 08:09
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reptilians posted:I've also been doing a lot of meditation as a sort of side bet. Its never been relaxing for me but it helps a lot with dealing with general anxiety and nihilism, although it can also bring up all sorts of crazy poo poo. Would you mind sharing what kind of meditation you're doing or what steps you take/what your goals are with it? It's interesting to hear that it doesn't relax you but helps you deal with things.
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Mar 10, 2020 06:32
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Halser posted:Strange that I'm in a better paying job, in better shape, much less debt and yet I'm still the pretty much same mentally as I was one year ago, just thankfully not suicidal Bio -> Psycho -> Social -> Spiritual Edit: Sorry I just reread this and I didn't mean for this short response to come off as glib or condescending. I will add some more when I get home tonight. I am happy for your growth and healing. thehandtruck has issued a correction as of 21:28 on Mar 11, 2020 |
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Mar 11, 2020 21:26
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Halser posted:Don't worry, it didn't. Cool .A person is comprised of 4 fully enmeshed, overlapping and interconnected circles: Biological, Psychological, Social, and Spiritual. For example if someone presents with like, anger issues or whatever you have to look each of those 4 circles. What use is psychotherapy if they have an endocrine issue making them angry all the time? Or what if their anger issues are caused by them getting beaten every day by their parent? Or their family just moved and they have no friends? Or if they have zero connection to nature and the spiritual aspects of life? The long and short of it is to be a fully individuated and happy all 4 circles need to be attended to. And mental health tends to try and go in the order I posted for obvious reasons and Maslow had a good and similar take on it too. Armchairing a shitload here but if you are starting to get back on your feet, you probably have the biological (meds/working out/creature needs met) and psychological (therapy, decent job, not suicidal) and maybe some social aspects of each circle met. And that's loving awesome and for many people it takes a REALLY REALLY long time to get there. But I see this happen a lot where people have those first 2 and a half met but they still aren't happy because they aren't fulfilling their purpose. Addressing the spiritual certain doesn't necessarily mean you have to like go to church or whatever, it means (in my opinion) you are fulfilled your purpose which (again imo) is a spiritual act, even if you are FULLY atheistic and don't believe in anything invisible whatsoever. Sometimes that means helping other, sometimes it means hiking, if hiking is your purpose. For some people it means working on Bernie's campaign or volunteering at homeless shelters. For some people it may actually mean going to church, and that's fine too. It's why the 12 step model of addiction is really successful, because it's includes all 4 circles and understands that they all need to be addressed. Maybe you're in a good place and are ready to continue on your path and maybe you're irritable cause you are aren't moving forward on that path. Did this info resonate with you? Anyway, I'm pumped as gently caress you're feeling good man. Don't sweat feeling lovely, that's healthy too sometimes but def bring all this up to your therapist.
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Mar 12, 2020 06:21
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Consummate Professional posted:how does that differ from the hierarchy of needs if at all? I don't think I've heard this exact idea but I can dig it It really doesn't differ that much! They are both systemic lenses to view a person. One is just used a little bit more in treating mental health and has a tad more depth and nuance. Overall same idea though. Here's one example that may help illustrate it a little better: A person believes in Gaia or other natural gods and stuff. They spend more time in nature. Spending more time in nature makes them physically healthier and also happier. Being happy makes them nice to be around so they have friends. Even just by starting from the Spiritual circle, it influenced all other circles enough to fulfill each of them.
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Mar 12, 2020 08:04
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Hey everyone, I wanted to share an episode of a podcast I really enjoy with you all. Some of the things but be a bit jargony but overall the ideas were very affirming and calming to me, maybe you'll feel the same way. Episode 098 - Climate Change: How Can We Welcome Upsetting Truths? http://thisjungianlife.libsyn.com/episode-098-climate-change-how-can-we-welcome-upsetting-truths?tdest_id=659938 This episode is specifically about climate change but applies very well to our current situation. Normally at the end of every episode they do a dream interpretation which I really enjoy but this is one of the few times they skip it to give more information so if you like that sort of thing their other episodes have them and are generally very very interesting. Other topics they've gone over are negative father complexes, histrionic behaviors, and pessimism. I'd be curious to hear anyone else's thoughts on these as well .
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Mar 14, 2020 22:22
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Jewel Repetition posted:Who wrote the summary I dunno probably one of the 3 of them? What am I missing?
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Mar 14, 2020 23:30
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poo poo POST MALONE posted:hey my wife is worried about me and I don't know what to do 1. They'll all do video calls and although not as helpful as in-person it can really, really help. 2. They are scared too but probably in a very different place mentally than the average person. All the ones I know are working and doing a pretty loving good job too. 3. Start watching DS9.
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Mar 20, 2020 08:55
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