(Thread IKs:
Josherino)
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Zvahl posted:I appreciate the thought-out response, but it gets me back into the same rut of "I need professional help to even start with this." hey friend, your brain has decided that pleasure is impossible now, which is miserable. i've known and lived this, and your justifications are really similar to the things i told myself over and over but the thing is i was wrong and you are too you can't feel good about things because the part of your brain that lets you feel good things isn't working. this doesn't actually mean you are rational, just that you'll be very good at rationalizing. you have a disease, it can be treated, and your feeling of hopelessness is directly caused by the problem i tried mediation and it worked for me, i don't if that's your answer. but you don't need professional help to make the first step, which is not giving up (i wish there was a less cheesy way to say it but it that's it, really)
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Dec 26, 2019 02:44
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| # ¿ May 9, 2024 21:14 |
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skooma512 posted:I'm really loving sick of my job. Folks are nice and everything, the people aren't the problem, I'm just tired of the work. I feel like I'm getting worse and worse at solving computer issues and navigating the bureaucracy of all the different teams and generally just even getting out of my drat chair because I just feel so overwhelmed and feel like I can't complete anything. I turned a problem that was basically already solved into a bigger problem that I now have to take more time cleaning up. the reason why employers want certificates is not the reason that they say they want them. they want to you to learn weird bullshit is not because that's important, but because they want to people who are willing and able to contort themselves into weird shapes for money. this means no single mothers, no one sick, no one caring for family, no one struggling it's probably true that you can't make yourself learn something at the moment that you aren't using. this doesn't make you stupid or bad, this makes you extremely normal. it's not you, it's a system that doesn't value incremental learning by doing, that has almost no role promotions except into management. this isn't to make your job or condition sunshine and rainbows, but to tell you it's not your fault didn't end up in the right shape for it. most people aren't, it's not made for people, if people work within in it's just luck or hoarded treasure
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May 5, 2023 03:35
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Segata Sanshiro posted:what can you do if, whenever you lay down to rest, you get *hammered* by incoherent, intrusive thoughts that feel like someone is screaming pure poo poo directly into your mind? it's been going on a while but man it's hard to overstate how bad it is. happens every night waking up/falling asleep and every time i take a nap ime it's stress and it works the same way for physical pain. you can build up a tolerance but it's an active one that turns off as you start to get relaxed for sleep, which means you get lovely sleep which makes it worse & c you have 'alarms' and you're getting really good at ignoring them, which is strength in a way, but you can get too good at that. your brain is sending you 1000 unread messages and it's going to keep sending more messages about your unread messages it absolutely can go away by 1) changing conditions. which doesn't help right now of course but it's not a permanent thing 2) taking some time to process that isn't ignoring. this can be really hard but this is meditation or cbt or prayer or whatever, trying to deal even a little with the stress while your shields would normally be up. you lower them, and pick through the alarms, not berating yourself, but just looking at them with an analytic minds eye
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May 6, 2023 21:21
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skooma512 posted:I'm not so much resentful towards her as my parents making me have to choose. The only thing is that she is much more set up for this then I am and isn't going to be sacrificing nearly as much, she's taking her job and her mom with her. I have to find a job in this worse than usual market while walking away from a good one and with the knowledge I'll still have to come back on a plane to deal with my stubborn parents away from my wife. It's also not much of a benefit for us if she makes 20k more and I make nothing, and then make 30k less. I think what you're correctly sensing is that people won't appreciate what you're giving up. 'cause they won't, it's not them. It's a hard lesson, but it's why, if you don't want to boil over, boundaries have to be something you choose. You wrote: skooma512 posted:I have to live where she goes because she's my wife and how that even works is on me to figure, I have to fly back to take care of my parents by myself and that sacrifice won't go the other way, because it wouldn't make sense anyway, but I still will have to do it on my own. these are not true. You don't have to do either of those things. You might decide to, you might choose to begrudgingly on balance, but presenting it as 'have to' is in bad faith to yourself and it's why you resent people not appreciating how you feel trapped.
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Jun 20, 2023 21:33
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I would keep talking about here and even better if you can get a one on one with a sympathetic ear IRL. Because it's a bad thing to hurt yourself and also getting hosed up by adrenaline after an assault is actually v. normal. Assult is an act that fucks with your trust of people, a violation of your sense of self, just burying it real deep is a great way have it poison the ground water.
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Jun 24, 2023 13:38
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Pepe Silvia Browne posted:"bury it really deep and don't talk about it ever again" is not what I meant when I said not to dwell on it it didn't sound like it but It's such a common way to do to it I wanted to be explicit
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Jun 24, 2023 14:53
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StashAugustine posted:one thing that's been helpful to me is to think about how anxiety is basically the response of an animal caught in a trap, thrashing around and working itself deeper into the trap. don't attempt to reject or bottle up the emotions, but also don't commit yourself to anything while they're running high. yep, things that work for me 1. meditation 2. anything that gets you into a flow state, exercise works 3. talking to someone who's a good listener what they all do is let you step back emotionally so you can still feel, you aren't numb, but you have room to evaluate. that cuts the loop of emotions feeding into themselves, feeling bad about feeling bad is super common
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Jun 24, 2023 15:00
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hah my above post was not in response to this but it's relevantPepe Silvia Browne posted:Gotcha, all good. yeah the lil' hater is a nasty guy
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Jun 24, 2023 15:06
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StashAugustine posted:Does anyone use a neck massager? I feel like a lot of physical anxiety symptoms are manifesting themselves as strain or aches in my neck and back of my head. Hot showers help but I was looking for something more convenient Maybe check your blood pressure, you could be having hypertension and the shower is bringing it down.
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Nov 5, 2023 06:44
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Tulip posted:You've largely got it right Ron. I've definitely crashed and burned several times before - I have a bad habit of overcommitting - and I'm trying to make sure that I set my priorities and time use in an accurate, meaningful way. people aren't monsters, but if you do turn yourself into a human robot to please they will lean on you. if by being your friends you mean you do things for them, that's not an intimate relationship, that's you as a service and i don't mean you need to keep a tally, but doing things ceaselessly is a great way to receive praise and self-accomplishment without building intimacy. or rather, if you are keeping a tally remember that you've already been rewarded; if you want to cash it for emotional labor, you already spent it on affirmation
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Jan 8, 2024 13:31
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| # ¿ May 9, 2024 21:14 |
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Good luckOrganic Lube User posted:Yeah I ain't got time for that right now, benzos it will have to be, I gotta be functional for my kid. Thanks though. you asked a question, you got a polite and thorough answer you didn't like. guilt really doesn't have anything to do with it but vaya con dios
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Apr 21, 2024 18:10
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