ITT i rent an illegal inlaw unit while working at a startup in oakland

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > ITT i rent an illegal inlaw unit while working at a startup in oakland

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Big Beef City: Aug 15, 2013

interwhat posted:

Rural Ohio btw. Lol

Look up your local township.
They should either have a Code Enforcement or Housing committee of some kind listed.
Reach out to them and you can request that they do a simple inspection (just a drive by kind of thing).
Report the things you've seen about the walls and roof being unsound and the birds coming and going. Those are two huge red flags that will get them moving.

If your local community is too small to have these departments listed individually on their website, reach out to the town clerk and just give them a general overview of your concern and who you'd need to talk to. If they don't have anyone specific, they'd probably relegate it to the fire department to look at, I'd guess, but they'd still help you.

# ? Feb 16, 2019 17:25

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# ? May 11, 2024 16:39

SolidSnakesBandana: Jul 1, 2007; Infinite ammo

Can this thread be about Nooner's turtles? Is there a Nooner turtle thread already?

# ? Feb 16, 2019 17:25

thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

interwhat posted:

While we are on the subject of housing, and this thread is very lame, I'd like to put my current situation out there.

I bought my house with renters on either side. We are in a rural crossroads village of about 150 people. The people to my left are great, even painted the house to spiff it up, cause he does that for a living. His gf is a recovering heroin addict, does some questionable work watching her daughter(like leaving with the promise of older sister being home soon, and that me, and the other neighbor are home so it's cool), but overall, cool long term neighbors..

My neighbor to the right, a 26 year old single father of 4(!?), struggles to make ends meet, but only pays $600 for the house he rents. The house is a piece of poo poo. It's bad. It's yellow lead paint, had a metal roof put on because the owners kid overdosed and died, set the upper floor ablaze. The rest of the roof is sagging badly, the upstairs is still burned out. It's off limits because the renter found spoons and other fun poo poo up there. Just the other day I was outside drinking beer and talking with him, and birds were flying in and out of the roof lol. The walls are clearly crumbling and leaning. It's real bad.

The problem is, my buddy just informed me that he's moving on up to a better place, my worst fear. The likelihood a junkie or several will move in is extremely high. The landlord is himself a junkie. Claims it with pride. No one that isn't a junkie themselves, or just extremely overwhelmed kid that just needs a roof will ever look at this place and see it a place to stay.

I need this place condemned. I don't have any issues with how it looks, I don't care if people go a couple weeks without mowing, I just don't want to have to drop a bunch of money on security, replacing my doors(they need updating, not very secure). I just can't bank on the junkie landlord finding another sweet friendly neighbor. Plus if there's kids in it, and it's not safe and something horrible happens, that would weigh on me.

Is there a renters association I can call to report it and you know, be that guy? We've already discussed arson but yeah that's illegal and our houses are kinda close..

Any suggestions are appreciated. Just thought I'd bring a real issue to this bad thread.

Rural Ohio btw. Lol

the county is your only option but good luck with being thatguy because most rural residents don't take kindly to overbearing piece of poo poo county officials being all uppity with residential standards. Highly doubt you're big enough to have city code enforcement. Either way I give it approx no loving way will anything good happen

# ? Feb 16, 2019 17:27

Supreme Allah: Oct 6, 2004; everybody relax, i'm here; Nap Ghost

those turtle tanks look tiny

That homeless harrassing robot

# ? Feb 16, 2019 17:30

Kazak: Jan 10, 2012

La Guardia airport has one of those security robots but it's always parked in one spot and doesn't enforce any rules, it just hums and yells at you if you get too close

interwhat posted:

Rural Ohio btw. Lol

Pay someone to drive a fiend car into the house and bolt. That's what the Chinese place across the street from my apartment did and now the renovated Chinese place is much nicer and their dumplings never disappoint

# ? Feb 16, 2019 17:35

remigious: May 13, 2009; Destruction comes inevitably; Hell Gem

I would also like to know more about the robot!

# ? Feb 16, 2019 17:36

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

Supreme Allah posted:

those turtle tanks look tiny

That homeless harrassing robot

Yeah only 15 gallon, when we got it they were tiny and then they grew really really fast. moving to a new apartment next week and going to get them a new 55 gallon so they will have plenty of space, goning to be a mf to clean and fill though

# ? Feb 16, 2019 17:37

gary oldmans diary: Sep 26, 2005

Kazak posted:

drive a fiend car

# ? Feb 16, 2019 17:39

SolidSnakesBandana: Jul 1, 2007; Infinite ammo

What if you're a homeless guy and that robot fucks with you, can you just tip over the robot? What's to stop you from smashing the robot?

# ? Feb 16, 2019 17:44

The Protagonist: Jun 29, 2009; The average is 5.5? I thought it was 4. This is very unsettling.

gary oldmans diary posted:

hell yea

# ? Feb 16, 2019 17:45

gimme the GOD DAMN candy: Jul 1, 2007

so, the op lives in a highly flammable ghost town that can be legally demolished by local authorities at any time for any reason. that's... an odd state of affairs, but i'm not sure why he posted it here unless he wanted to be mocked for his poor decisions.

# ? Feb 16, 2019 17:48

soy: Jul 7, 2003; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

SolidSnakesBandana posted:

What if you're a homeless guy and that robot fucks with you, can you just tip over the robot? What's to stop you from smashing the robot?

I�m very pro cop but lol if you don�t tip over any cop robots you ever see. gently caress da robot police!

# ? Feb 16, 2019 17:48

soy: Jul 7, 2003; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

gimme the GOD drat candy posted:

so, the op lives in a highly flammable ghost town that can be legally demolished by local authorities at any time for any reason. that's... an odd state of affairs, but i'm not sure why he posted it here unless he wanted to be mocked for his poor decisions.

Don�t worry Oakland doesn�t enforce any laws. Their PD is too busy responding to shootings all day. The housing enforcement division of the city gov is like 1 lady who is too busy tracking and shutting down meth labs.

Source: I lived there for 5 yr

# ? Feb 16, 2019 17:50

Do it ironically: Jul 13, 2010; by Pragmatica

How sheltered are you OP you�ve never heard of illegal basement suites?

Btw landlords should be loving guillotined, if you�re a landlord I hope your tenants destroy your place and squat in it

# ? Feb 16, 2019 17:50

interwhat: Jul 23, 2005; it's kickin in dude

thatguy posted:

the county is your only option but good luck with being thatguy because most rural residents don't take kindly to overbearing piece of poo poo county officials being all uppity with residential standards. Highly doubt you're big enough to have city code enforcement. Either way I give it approx no loving way will anything good happen

It's a double edged sword. On one hand I can likely build stuff without jumping through hoops, on the other hand I couldn't make the previous owner raise the deck railing on the back deck higher than a laughable mid thigh height before closing

# ? Feb 16, 2019 18:02

lol if you: Jun 29, 2004; I am going to remove your penis, in thin slices, like salami, just for starters.

Soviet posted:

brand new townhome complex nearby, mostly empty/vacant

then turn to the right to see the neighborhood im planning to move into

this happened last year at another townhouse complex built by the same company

https://abc7news.com/oakland-condo-ceo-offers-refunds-after-construction-fire/4560536/

i dont want to spend more than $2000 to not have any roommates, and this was the best place i found on short notice. it's a 2-story house that has been split into 3 units (the top unit, then the bottom is split into two)

id never heard of illegal inlaw units before, but after reading a bit it seems like the lease isn't even enforceable. tenants still establish residency (thanks california), but dont get protected tenant status, since they're never legal tenants to begin with. anyone (tenants, neighbors, random people) can report the unit at any time and get the house condemned by the department of building inspection until the illegal units are removed.

the home has been fixed up but everything around it looks like a crackhouse

there was a car accident nearby and i hung around to see how long it would take for a tow truck to show up, and for the garbage to be cleared. idk how long it had been since it happened, but i didnt see anyone other than the cops there. i waited like 15 minutes before i gave up and left

bonus: a surveillance robot designed to harass homeless people that i saw later in SF

is that all the new construction around west oakland bart and the courthouse?

# ? Feb 16, 2019 18:10

value-brand cereal: May 2, 2008

op come back you loving pussy

# ? Feb 16, 2019 18:22

thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

interwhat posted:

It's a double edged sword. On one hand I can likely build stuff without jumping through hoops, on the other hand I couldn't make the previous owner raise the deck railing on the back deck higher than a laughable mid thigh height before closing

Speaking of decks

I'm working on an overlook over a waterfall right now where something like 35 people have died, it drops something like 1600 feet from top to bottom at around 50 degrees, with jagged outcroppings every 100 feet. It's covered in transparent algae that is super slick, which is why so many people died. The entire observation deck at this point was cantilevered over a particularly dangerous drop, right next to the water. On the force up cantilevered side, there are joists that look like 1/3 of the spokes of a wheel going from the outside in. On the inside of the joist, here was a single rusting 3/8" bolt through a 2x10 bolted to the rock that was holding everything from pushing up. There's room for at least 20 people on the deck. All held by 5 rusting 3/8" bolts. Federal property lol

# ? Feb 16, 2019 18:26

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

That Robocop is the lamest dweeb thing ever. How can anyone walk by and not tip it over so it rocks about in a futile rage? Slap on a fleshlight and gently caress the police.

# ? Feb 16, 2019 18:32

Magnitogorsk.: Nov 14, 2004; Global warming is barely a big deal at all compared to the trajectory we used to be on. We'll have to do a lot of environmental engineering projects along certain shorelines and it will be a little warmer and wetter in some places, big fucking deal.

im the 3 story height limit on new construction in the area where housing is impossibly expensive

# ? Feb 16, 2019 18:42

gary oldmans diary: Sep 26, 2005

Outrail posted:

That Robocop is the lamest dweeb thing ever. How can anyone walk by and not tip it over so it rocks about in a futile rage? Slap on a fleshlight and gently caress the police.

is there a video of it harassing homeless people trying to sleep on benches with lights and sirens set to the robocop theme :pray:

# ? Feb 16, 2019 18:51

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

The robocops are cool and good the filthy poors dont deserve to live in the cities any more.

This post brought to you by 3O

# ? Feb 16, 2019 18:58

Captain Yossarian: Feb 24, 2011; All new" Rings of Fire"

Nooner posted:

The robocops are cool and good the filthy poors dont deserve to live in the cities any more.

This post brought to you by 3O

# ? Feb 16, 2019 19:23

Chinatown: Sep 11, 2001; by Fluffdaddy; Fun Shoe

lol people thought we would have flying cars in 2019 but we just have scooters from companies comprised of the worst assholes imaginable

# ? Feb 16, 2019 19:32

Methanar: Sep 26, 2013; by the sex ghost

Magnitogorsk. posted:

im the 3 story height limit on new construction in the area where housing is impossibly expensive

Whats the reasoning behind this.

# ? Feb 16, 2019 19:45

Genderfluent: Jul 15, 2015

What's great about Oakland? Where to start:

Constant, extremely petty property crime (A set of snow chains got stolen out of my car for some reason?)
Constant drives for funding measures that are never spent on streets, schools, etc.
Tragedy of rampant homelessness that the local government is unwilling to address
Ridiculous rents
Tech employees are awful

Cool crackhouse OP

# ? Feb 16, 2019 19:48

13Pandora13: Nov 5, 2008; I've got tiiits that swingle dangle dingle

Methanar posted:

Whats the reasoning behind this.

Aesthetic preservation in areas with old multi-million dollar row houses, keeping out project housing, etc.

# ? Feb 16, 2019 19:49

Genderfluent: Jul 15, 2015

Methanar posted:

Whats the reasoning behind this.

"anti-gentrification" measures

# ? Feb 16, 2019 19:49

interwhat: Jul 23, 2005; it's kickin in dude

thatguy posted:

Speaking of decks

I'm working on an overlook over a waterfall right now where something like 35 people have died, it drops something like 1600 feet from top to bottom at around 50 degrees, with jagged outcroppings every 100 feet. It's covered in transparent algae that is super slick, which is why so many people died. The entire observation deck at this point was cantilevered over a particularly dangerous drop, right next to the water. On the force up cantilevered side, there are joists that look like 1/3 of the spokes of a wheel going from the outside in. On the inside of the joist, here was a single rusting 3/8" bolt through a 2x10 bolted to the rock that was holding everything from pushing up. There's room for at least 20 people on the deck. All held by 5 rusting 3/8" bolts. Federal property lol

Jesus

# ? Feb 16, 2019 20:17

thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

Magnitogorsk. posted:

im the 3 story height limit on new construction in the area where housing is impossibly expensive

I'm the homeowner on my 5th refinance / equity extraction out of my $1.5m 900 square foot shack talking openly about "something must be done for these poor homeless" while voting to disallow every single housing rules change that'd allow more people in

# ? Feb 16, 2019 21:00

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

Genderfluent posted:

What's great about Oakland? Where to start:

That time people barfed onto the google bus to protest was rad

Also the raiders were cool until they finally got good for one season and ditched their fans for loving las vegas

# ? Feb 16, 2019 21:02

Time_pants: Jun 25, 2012; Now sauntering to the ring, please welcome the lackadaisical style of the man who is always doing something...

SolidSnakesBandana posted:

Nah man look theres grafitti right there. Grafitti! And that tree in front is kinda hosed up looking. It's obviously a den where people smoke and distribute crack.

Ah, yes. My Boy Scout leader/serial rapist had a rhyme for that: "tree looks fine, waste of time, hosed up tree, crack for me." Oh man, he taught us so much about how scary and terrible adults and the world are.

# ? Feb 16, 2019 21:15

no pubes yet sorry: Sep 11, 2003

interwhat posted:

While we are on the subject of housing, and this thread is very lame, I'd like to put my current situation out there.

I bought my house with renters on either side. We are in a rural crossroads village of about 150 people. The people to my left are great, even painted the house to spiff it up, cause he does that for a living. His gf is a recovering heroin addict, does some questionable work watching her daughter(like leaving with the promise of older sister being home soon, and that me, and the other neighbor are home so it's cool), but overall, cool long term neighbors..

My neighbor to the right, a 26 year old single father of 4(!?), struggles to make ends meet, but only pays $600 for the house he rents. The house is a piece of poo poo. It's bad. It's yellow lead paint, had a metal roof put on because the owners kid overdosed and died, set the upper floor ablaze. The rest of the roof is sagging badly, the upstairs is still burned out. It's off limits because the renter found spoons and other fun poo poo up there. Just the other day I was outside drinking beer and talking with him, and birds were flying in and out of the roof lol. The walls are clearly crumbling and leaning. It's real bad.

The problem is, my buddy just informed me that he's moving on up to a better place, my worst fear. The likelihood a junkie or several will move in is extremely high. The landlord is himself a junkie. Claims it with pride. No one that isn't a junkie themselves, or just extremely overwhelmed kid that just needs a roof will ever look at this place and see it a place to stay.

I need this place condemned. I don't have any issues with how it looks, I don't care if people go a couple weeks without mowing, I just don't want to have to drop a bunch of money on security, replacing my doors(they need updating, not very secure). I just can't bank on the junkie landlord finding another sweet friendly neighbor. Plus if there's kids in it, and it's not safe and something horrible happens, that would weigh on me.

Is there a renters association I can call to report it and you know, be that guy? We've already discussed arson but yeah that's illegal and our houses are kinda close..

Any suggestions are appreciated. Just thought I'd bring a real issue to this bad thread.

Rural Ohio btw. Lol

hah, rural ohio... the township, if you are in incorporated zoning, might help but realistically the structure needs to disappear

does the junkie landlord know what insurance is? does he have it? if not there might be some sort of argument that it is a hazard

other options are getting handy and fixing that place up, buying it (might be a good play if its dirt cheap?), becoming the monster you fear and just rolling with it

tough situation, good luck.

lol the new neighbors will probably have aggressive, lovely dogs too

# ? Feb 16, 2019 21:25

Time_pants: Jun 25, 2012; Now sauntering to the ring, please welcome the lackadaisical style of the man who is always doing something...

Nooner posted:

That time people barfed onto the google bus to protest was rad

Also the raiders were cool until they finally got good for one season and ditched their fans for loving las vegas

Which season was that? 2002?

# ? Feb 16, 2019 21:27

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

Time_pants posted:

Which season was that? 2002?

They got real good again like 3 years ago i think and then Carr broke his back and then they fired del rio to bring back chuckie and then they went like :piss:

The point is that the Los Angeles Rams are the greatest team in NFL history

# ? Feb 16, 2019 21:50

soy: Jul 7, 2003; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Nooner posted:

They got real good again like 3 years ago i think and then Carr broke his back and then they fired del rio to bring back chuckie and then they went like

The point is that the Los Angeles Rams are the greatest team in NFL history*

*Second only to the patriots

# ? Feb 16, 2019 22:34

Time_pants: Jun 25, 2012; Now sauntering to the ring, please welcome the lackadaisical style of the man who is always doing something...

Nooner posted:

They got real good again like 3 years ago i think and then Carr broke his back and then they fired del rio to bring back chuckie and then they went like

The point is that the Los Angeles Rams are the greatest team in NFL history

Oh dear. Look at this post...

# ? Feb 16, 2019 22:37

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

soy posted:

*Second only to the patriots

# ? Feb 16, 2019 23:06

The Protagonist: Jun 29, 2009; The average is 5.5? I thought it was 4. This is very unsettling.

My head is jerking around like Jacobs ladder just throwing off showers of rage spittle foam

# ? Feb 16, 2019 23:12

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# ? May 11, 2024 16:39

OXBALLS DOT COM: Sep 11, 2005; by FactsAreUseless; Young Orc

SolidSnakesBandana posted:

What if you're a homeless guy and that robot fucks with you, can you just tip over the robot? What's to stop you from smashing the robot?

Then the real police show up to beat you up and arrest you

It's like that show bait car only it's a really kickable robot

The next generation of robot guards will have more annoying, whiny voices, a more top-heavy design, and also asses for you to kick

# ? Feb 16, 2019 23:29

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