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Everyone is weird and awkward. To this day I avoid going to get the mail if I see that I'd have to make small talk with my neighbor to get it. On my 21st birthday I went out to happy hour with a bunch of people from work. There was a girl I kind of vaguely knew from another department and we started talking. We were hitting it off pretty well and she kept buying me drinks to celebrate. Then I saw there was a pinball machine in the corner and I slurred out something like "Oh man they got pinball here!" and ended up playing pinball for over an hour. She left at some point. The next day at work I saw her in the hall and she avoided making eye contact with me. I'm pretty sure I was "The Weird Pinball Guy" for the rest of the time I worked there.
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Feb 22, 2019 16:24
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| # ? May 5, 2024 14:37 |
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i just couldn't and then iwas like, "what?? Lol"
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Feb 22, 2019 16:36
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I find that the dumber I become the less anything is awkward It's pretty rad being an idiot
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Feb 22, 2019 17:07
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Got married and had a family.
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Feb 22, 2019 17:12
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One time someone smiled and waved at me, I smiled and waved back. But apparently this person wasn’t even real, it all happened in my head!
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Feb 22, 2019 17:13
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Noblesse Obliged posted:I find that the dumber I become the less anything is awkward For real. I worked hard to be this dumb.
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Feb 22, 2019 17:14
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today i was out getting some lunch and some crazy guy came up to me on the sidewalk. he was all like "how you doing my man?" and i was like "i'm fine and dandy dawg!" and we fist-bumped. it was only as he continued on his merry way that i realised that he wasn't some acquaintance i thought i had worked with, but was in fact a bona fide crazy person. well that's my story. then there was also the time i shat my pants and went to a meeting for a high-profile current affairs show i was working on without cleaning up, because there wasn't time and it would have looked even worse if i rang ahead with some excuse. the smell was probably unbearable. they hired me back again after that though so it probably didn't smell as bad as i thought
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Feb 22, 2019 17:21
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Last week I told a homeless guy to "get home safe!" loudly and sincerely.
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Feb 22, 2019 17:38
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I legit thought marvin gay was killed by a tree falling on him and announced this multiple times to coworkers but it turns out i was misinformed
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Feb 22, 2019 17:52
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im marvin gay
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Feb 22, 2019 17:55
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my bat mitzvah ROCKED posted:I legit thought marvin gay was killed by a tree falling on him and announced this multiple times to coworkers but it turns out i was misinformed I thought marvin gay was gay
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Feb 22, 2019 17:58
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One time i picked up some pizza at the take-out counter and the cute girl who handed it to me was like "enjoy your pizza!" and I said "thanks you too!" Then I turned around a little too quickly and knocked the tip jar over with my erection.
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Feb 22, 2019 20:34
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been 6'6"
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Feb 22, 2019 20:37
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Didn’t get hired at Pitchfork because my review of the new Ratatat album was a timeline of the Pokémon Rattata’s popularity in Japan. I didn’t understand the rating system so I gave it a 07 because that’s the year it peaked
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Feb 22, 2019 20:48
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A Fancy Hat posted:Everyone is weird and awkward. To this day I avoid going to get the mail if I see that I'd have to make small talk with my neighbor to get it. The only awkward thing here is someone getting pissy at you for doing something you enjoy on your birthday instead of paying attention to them. That was unjust OP. EDIT: In fact this is even worse if the "awkward" thing is her buying you drinks then being passive aggressive because instead of sleeping with her or indulging her you went off and did something else, they are not entitled to anything for buying you drinks OP!! This story is bunk and you were mistreated!!! Lil Swamp Booger Baby fucked around with this message at 21:08 on Feb 22, 2019 |
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Feb 22, 2019 21:02
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A guy tried to fistbump me and I'm both white and stupid as gently caress and instinctively reached out and shook his hand
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Feb 22, 2019 22:18
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I thought playing guitar and singing Lightning Crashes by Live was a good idea in a 7th grade talent show
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Feb 22, 2019 22:22
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i spent $10 to post on an internet forum once
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Feb 22, 2019 22:24
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gimme the GOD drat candy posted:i spent $10 to post on an internet forum once hosed up if true
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Feb 22, 2019 22:25
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Mistook which twin was flirting with me, used wrong name, ruined everything. We were seated in alphabetical order, so I hosed this up because I'm a moron. Learn your ABC's, kids.
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Feb 22, 2019 22:31
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Joined a new school and wanted to get into sports and try throwing discus. Joined the debate team by mistake.
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Feb 22, 2019 22:32
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I was drunk and walking home in Brooklyn a couple years ago and a guy stopped me and started giving me a long spiel about how he needed formula for his baby and he was poor and couldn't buy any because it was $20. I was too drunk and confused to tell him to gently caress off so I let him lead me to a convenience store where he brought two things of powdered formula up to the register and they rang up for $50. When I heard it was going to be $50 I gave him a kind of "heh what are you going to do" kind of shrug and ran out of the store and down the street into the night.
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Feb 22, 2019 22:37
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Hometown Slime Queen posted:A guy tried to fistbump me and I'm both white and stupid as gently caress and instinctively reached out and shook his hand
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Feb 22, 2019 22:38
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gary oldmans diary posted:someone manually operated my hand throughout an elaborate handshake like it's not the most EMBARRASSING thing but holy hell is it awkward and then both of you are like 'o-oh'
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Feb 22, 2019 22:41
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Person interviewed me and farted. All I said after was "Niiice" and got immedietly hired. I build control panels and IT for my fart company
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Feb 22, 2019 22:56
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the most awkward thing i've ever done? how do you count the stars in the sky?
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Feb 22, 2019 23:18
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I sang the “Jedi Rocks” song from Return of the Jedi to a group of about 200 people. Fortunately, I was blackout drunk so I don’t remember any of it. Unfortunately, I was the only one.
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Feb 22, 2019 23:21
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Fell down a loooong rear end staircase on my bike as a city bus drove by, wish I had bystander video. In my defense, I had no idea the sidewalk was about to turn into a loooong rear end staircase.
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Feb 22, 2019 23:23
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ripped rear end while posting on the forums
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Feb 22, 2019 23:29
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said “i love you” at the bath house
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Feb 22, 2019 23:36
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saw something cursed on my computer and then realised my monitor was off
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Feb 22, 2019 23:37
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did the aristocrats while eulogizing my dead grandmother
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Feb 22, 2019 23:41
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Hometown Slime Queen posted:A guy tried to fistbump me and I'm both white and stupid as gently caress and instinctively reached out and shook his hand next time give him one of these 
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Feb 22, 2019 23:49
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Carried this printer one time.
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Feb 22, 2019 23:55
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Working on a student film at the parking lot of the local mall at night, I dig a pellet pistol from a bag to use as a prop in a shot. Classmate  "You sure about that?"Me  "It's not loaded, I haven't used this thing since I was 9"Cue me cocking it, pointing it over my shoulder, and pulling the trigger, resulting in a very loud *PFFFT!!!* and followed by the sound of breaking stained glass from over one of the mall's entrances. Me "....On second thought lets use the squirt gun Jeff covered in electrical tape."That pane is still broken nearly twenty years later.
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Feb 23, 2019 00:23
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Cirrhosis Johnson posted:I sang the “Jedi Rocks” song from Return of the Jedi to a group of about 200 people. Fortunately, I was blackout drunk so I don’t remember any of it. Unfortunately, I was the only one. I think you posted this in another thread and it's still possibly one of the embarrassing things I could imagine.
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Feb 23, 2019 00:55
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Noblesse Obliged posted:I find that the dumber I become the less anything is awkward
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Feb 23, 2019 00:58
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Existing is up there but also probably trying to flirt with a girl and then proceed to drop a glass of water on her crotch. Not how I had planned to get her wet and then I just went home to eat chips in the dark.
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Feb 23, 2019 01:08
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Your son.
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Feb 23, 2019 02:29
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| # ? May 5, 2024 14:37 |
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I pretend to be stupid all the time
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Feb 23, 2019 02:37
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