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About a week after getting dumped, High School around Fall 2000. Went to the School Bowling Night feeling dandy, saw my ex in front of the place and struck up some small talk. Then I realize she's there on a date so I abruptly cut it off, say I'll see you inside and give her a high-five. I don't think I actually bowled that night and I likely left after like 30 minutes once I was sure I wouldn't see her again.
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Feb 23, 2019 02:42
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| # ? May 5, 2024 13:42 |
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My first girlfriend
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Feb 23, 2019 02:46
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FilthyImp posted:Then I realize she's there on a date so I abruptly cut it off, say I'll see you inside and give her a high-five. Oof, this one's coming right through the screen.
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Feb 23, 2019 02:50
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Away all Goats posted:My first girlfriend
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Feb 23, 2019 03:28
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I once went hard for a girl that wasn't into me. She was super cool though, and let me down gently and even tried setting me up with her friend. The friend was cute, and had an Allison Hannigan vibe going on. She had recently broken up with her boyfriend. We were all hanging out at a crowded local concert. The girl turns to her friend and says, "Your ex just walked in, you should make out with Labya to make him jealous!" and immediately, reflexively, and without thinking, I said, "Ewww!" I don't know why I did it. I wasn't trying to impress the first girl, 'cuz I knew that ship had sailed. The friend was cute. It was something about performing in front of the ex-bf that bothered me. But it came off as though I had rejected the cute friend HARD. And I never got to explain myself or tell the cute friend that I didn't mean it like that.
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Feb 23, 2019 04:10
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Having to give a talk to about 300 staff members to explain how a new product worked and wby it was good and cool, when I knew it would be an incredible failure, every other person told about it knew it would not sell and id already had people flat out say "Why would anyone buy that?"
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Feb 23, 2019 04:10
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Allison Hannigan isn't even that cute, it's just that redhead thirst is a powerful thing.
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Feb 23, 2019 04:11
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SilvergunSuperman posted:Allison Hannigan isn't even that cute, it's just that redhead thirst is a powerful thing. Lol she's cute stafoo dummy.
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Feb 23, 2019 04:15
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SilvergunSuperman posted:Allison Hannigan isn't even that cute, it's just that redhead thirst is a powerful thing. redhead girls are all nuts and thus incredible in the sack
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Feb 23, 2019 05:04
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I got shitfaced at my cousin's wedding because I'm awful and during a window of time in which I was staggering around unsupervised by anyone soberer, I walked up behind her brother(who is muscular and shaves his head) who was sitting at one of the tables and said "hey baby girl" and started massaging his scalp with mock eroticism Turned out it was some other ripped bald guy I had never met
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Feb 23, 2019 05:17
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TheIncredulousHulk posted:I got shitfaced at my cousin's wedding because I'm awful and during a window of time in which I was staggering around unsupervised by anyone soberer, I walked up behind her brother(who is muscular and shaves his head) who was sitting at one of the tables and said "hey baby girl" and started massaging his scalp with mock eroticism Lmao, did you guys have a good laugh after you spit your teeth out?
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Feb 23, 2019 05:19
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sandwiches_and_ham posted:im marvin gay
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Feb 23, 2019 05:48
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SilvergunSuperman posted:Oof, this one's coming right through the screen. Got a half-day at school so we plan to go Me (thinking): "Oh this is in the middle of school and we could get yelled at" Me (speaking): "Uhhhh... We're going to be late for the movie?"
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Feb 23, 2019 06:34
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SilvergunSuperman posted:Lmao, did you guys have a good laugh after you spit your teeth out? He was shockingly chill about it actually which just made me feel like a bigger idiot
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Feb 23, 2019 07:59
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was at a party, this girl says hi to my friends and girlfriend and me and i say hi back, later realizing it's some childhood friends ex girlfriend, he was abusive and badmouthed her and her entire family, she talked to the crew while i slowly shrank into a corncob i cut contact with the guy for years now but i don't really know her, the conversation in my head ran like "heyy long time no see since you broke up with that abusive piece of poo poo who was my friend hahaha isnt life wild hahaha i wanna kill myself"
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Feb 23, 2019 09:54
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Was at a job interview where they asked me if I knew what TCC was. I said it was The Crackhead Clubhouse. Dude stared at me for a good two minutes in silnce then ended the interview. I got a call a week later with an offer.
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Feb 23, 2019 11:44
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Dating a girl who was super into me. Extremely attractive, very much into the same music, movies, stuff I was into, and just a cool person all around. Obviously wanted the D it seemed, but, we just could not get our scheduling right to get time alone and...whatever. Things were just not meshing well, we were younger and it was hard to get away, I'm sure you older goons (all of you) remember what that's like. I'd gone to my job working at the pro shop of a golf course, and apparently she snuck out of her job for a bit and come by, and then left..and then I got either a text or a vm (this was in the 90's so I can't remember if this was like a very early txt or if I'm mis-remembering) that she has a surprise for me after work. So I'm thinking "fuckin' sweet." Get done, go out to my car, and she'd obviously snuck over somehow, despite it being miles from her place and her job, got into my Tbird, left handcuffs on my steering wheel, silk scarf on the fuzzy dice I had on my mirror, condoms all over the front seats, and more. .... I managed to not have sex with that girl. Big Beef City fucked around with this message at 13:57 on Feb 23, 2019 |
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Feb 23, 2019 13:53
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Hometown Slime Queen posted:A guy tried to fistbump me and I'm both white and stupid as gently caress and instinctively reached out and shook his hand This is just being honest. If I ever did a fistbump I'd feel like a fraud, even if it was initiated by a bona fide cool person.
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Feb 23, 2019 14:01
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Big Beef City posted:Dating a girl who was super into me. Extremely attractive, very much into the same music, movies, stuff I was into, and just a cool person all around. I refuse to believe anyone who didn't have sex because they couldn't get their scheduling right was ever young You kind of make time for that poo poo dog Was this like the Benjamin button of relationships where you started off with being married for 25 years and slowly worked backwards?
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Feb 23, 2019 14:01
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No it was just that we dated for like a few months, she lived in town, I lived out a ways, we both had summer jobs, both had different circles of friends doing a lot of poo poo, and were still at that age where your parents kind of want to keep tabs on what's up, maybe yours or most people's don't I dunno, but it was a relatively short window of time with a lot of things going on. Looking back on it I could easily have pulled it off, and, that's kind of the point, especially when sent THAT loving MESSAGE by her that "Durr, stupid, let's gently caress"...that's kind of what makes it that loving awkward, my man.
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Feb 23, 2019 14:06
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At a party a girl was very clearly in to me and we were dancing, she starts pouring a drink in to my mouth but I start choking and have to cough it out at her. She ran off crying.
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Feb 23, 2019 14:10
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when i was at summer camp (school really, studying logic) there was a social and dance so i asked a girl to go with me and she said yes. so at the dance i didn't know how to dance and was kind of jerking my limbs with each sixteenth note. then i had no idea how to slow dance. so she went and danced with someone else and i was just standing there. but the councilors wouldn't let me just leave so i had to stay there for like two or three more hours
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Feb 23, 2019 14:20
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A Fancy Hat posted:Everyone is weird and awkward. To this day I avoid going to get the mail if I see that I'd have to make small talk with my neighbor to get it. Just go out and get your mail before giving yourself time to think yourself out of it. A smile and a nod us all you need give the neighbors at first. Most people are generally very busy and don't have a lot of time to chat to their neighbors anyway. I say this as someone who used to have the same fear as you, but is now substantially over it. A Fancy Hat posted:...Then I saw there was a pinball machine in the corner and I slurred out something like "Oh man they got pinball here!" and ended up playing pinball for over an hour. She left at some point. The next day at work I saw her in the hall and she avoided making eye contact with me. I'm pretty sure I was "The Weird Pinball Guy" for the rest of the time I worked there. Hey, if you like playing with balls more than playing with women, who am I to judge. Though a guy more experienced than a 21 year old who abuses the piss might have apologised to the gal at work soon after the gaffe, and maybe ended up loving her anyway. I will contribute a personal anecdote or three, but not right now. It's hard to pick the most awkward of the innumerable awkward things I've done and said over the years. Excellent thread idea, OP. BigBadSteve fucked around with this message at 14:34 on Feb 23, 2019 |
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Feb 23, 2019 14:30
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I had to participate in a play when I was in first grade. Class-wide thing, everyone had to do it, no getting out of it. A few weeks of rehearsals later and the entire school is crammed in the auditorium, watching me nervously take stage to set the play off. The second I try to speak, I immediately start crying, then spray terror vomit all over the podium, the stage, and myself.
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Feb 23, 2019 16:31
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When I was a freshman in college my roommate brought a girl over after we were at a party and they started making out while I was playing counterstrike, so I offered to leave and he was like "no it's cool, you can stay", so I just kept playing. The girl was clearly weirded out by it but it didn't stop them. I could have at least put headphones on I guess. e: also one time I was invited to a graduation party and got drunk enough to apparently forget where I was, so I locked myself in one of the hosts' rooms and just went to sleep like I was at home. She had to sleep on the couch and was obviously not happy when I woke up and asked if they want to go get some breakfast. yeah I eat ass fucked around with this message at 17:00 on Feb 23, 2019 |
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Feb 23, 2019 16:56
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Ooh yeah, that's the stuff. What was it like seeing Pitch Perfect??? Me again: Late 2009, as an adult. Have to pull some summer hours at work, so I figure I'll grab a frap and 'nabread. Walk in peppy, notice the room is gloomy. "HEY GUYS WHO DIED" Boss and CoWorker look up from their desks. Both walk out. Other coworker "Her husband's uncle died" 
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Feb 23, 2019 17:00
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i thin kyour next post is going to have to be about how you just said " 'nabread"
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Feb 23, 2019 17:06
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Victory Awkward: I got super tired of my roommate and her idiot boyfriend repeatedly sexiling me out of my own room back as a freshman. After a particularly hard day at classes (which she mostly skipped anyway), I came back to my room and basically walked in on them just starting to get it on yet again. She clearly expected me to leave as I usually did, but my patience was shot. I decided to hell with them both and just went about my usual business and started playing music and cooking food and poo poo until they were finally out-awkwarded enough to get dressed and gently caress off to HIS room for once. I'm sure she tried to start gossip about me as 'spying on them loving' or something, but everyone kind of hated her anyway and I didn't really care. She was also fat and I heard that she ended up almost choking to death on one of the cold hot dogs she used to eat all the time, after I had moved out. lol
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Feb 23, 2019 17:07
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yeah I eat rear end posted:i thin kyour next post is going to have to be about how you just said " 'nabread"
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Feb 23, 2019 17:09
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Aesop Poprock posted:Didn’t get hired at Pitchfork because my review of the new Ratatat album was a timeline of the Pokémon Rattata’s popularity in Japan. I didn’t understand the rating system so I gave it a 07 because that’s the year it peaked lmao
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Feb 23, 2019 17:37
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FilthyImp posted:as an adult. ...really?
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Feb 23, 2019 17:41
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Hometown Slime Queen posted:
I used to get babysit by a lady that would feed her 4 year old uncooked hot dogs from the bag and it always reminded me of how you'd treat a dog.
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Feb 23, 2019 17:55
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After a cousin's wedding I drunkenly got into a stranger's car, realized it wasn't my friend's wife picking me, and immediately rolled up all the windows and farted. Told the guy driving, "we're in this together buddy. We can get through it." My cousins were laughing and laughing and finally got me out of the stranger's car and apologized for me. This story gets told every time the family is together.
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Feb 23, 2019 17:59
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SilvergunSuperman posted:I used to get babysit by a lady that would feed her 4 year old uncooked hot dogs from the bag and it always reminded me of how you'd treat a dog. I don't find it that weird, when my dad took us out fishing he'd have a pack that we'd use as bait and we'd eat them if we weren't catching anything (which was always). Cold is better than "sitting in the sun half the day", but the warm ones were still ok enough.
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Feb 23, 2019 18:00
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Yech, as my dear dad used to say, "gets in your mouth."
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Feb 23, 2019 18:11
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yeah I eat rear end posted:I don't find it that weird, when my dad took us out fishing he'd have a pack that we'd use as bait and we'd eat them if we weren't catching anything (which was always). Cold is better than "sitting in the sun half the day", but the warm ones were still ok enough. Your father was a terrible fisherman. What in the gently caress was he trying to catch? Gotta be either catfish or fat chicks. I'm leaning towards fat chicks.i always lean that way cause there's one leaning against me.
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Feb 23, 2019 18:23
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Space Race Riot posted:Your father was a terrible fisherman. What in the gently caress was he trying to catch? Gotta be either catfish or fat chicks. I'm leaning towards fat chicks.i always lean that way cause there's one leaning against me. The fish (fresh or saltwater) really do like it, the problem is it just slides off the hook if the fish does any more than look at it. You would always be getting bites, but the only time I've actually caught anything was an unlucky little bluegill. What he was "trying" to catch with it usually though was largemouth bass because one time in his 20s he caught a big one with a hotdog and swears they are better than worms. We never caught a single one. To be fair though, we didn't catch one with any other kind of bait either so it was probably as he said "the weather or something".
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Feb 23, 2019 18:29
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Snapping turtles love hot dogs as bait. Also if you're fishing with them you gotta leave them long enough to thread onto the hook length wise and not leave the tip of the hook exposed and that's a hell of a lot of bait to be using for some drat panfish
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Feb 23, 2019 18:37
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SilvergunSuperman posted:I used to get babysit by a lady that would feed her 4 year old uncooked hot dogs from the bag and it always reminded me of how you'd treat a dog. Aren’t hot dogs precooked? You just heat ‘em up,right? I remember my mom used to feed me canned Vienna sausages when I was a toddler, which are just small cold hot dogs, more or less.
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Feb 23, 2019 18:38
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yeah I eat rear end posted:The fish (fresh or saltwater) really do like it, the problem is it just slides off the hook if the fish does any more than look at it. You would always be getting bites, but the only time I've actually caught anything was an unlucky little bluegill. Lol I've been on some of those fishing trips with my own dad, I miss him. Never heard of the hot dog thing for bass though, I'm a bit intrigued. Maybe I'll try it in the spring.
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Feb 23, 2019 18:39
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