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limp_cheese posted:When I was in 7th grade I really liked this girl and we "going out" which meant just holding hands and saying we were going out. At one point my friends start telling me its been long enough I should kiss her. This is the first time I would have kissed a girl so I was understandably nervous. Finally one day I work up the courage and decide when we are walking of school to take the bus home I was going to do it. We walk out and I tell her to stop, turn her to face me, and say "Its time to Kiss." She starts laughing her rear end off and walking away. I walk on the bus felling like poo poo and by this point she had told most of the people on the bus. Everyone teased me the entire way home. Kinda wanna hear the joke they came up with.
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Mar 1, 2019 05:34
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Solice Kirsk posted:Kinda wanna hear the joke they came up with. “I need to tell a joke about that like you needed that hole in your head.”
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Mar 1, 2019 05:46
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I'm aure he wanted ro say a joke but he also didn't want his career to end.burial posted:“I need to tell a joke about that like you needed that hole in your head.” This is why I love Something Awful.
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Mar 1, 2019 06:03
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limp_cheese posted:This is why I love Something Awful. Just think what the actual comedian might have come up with! e: or, hell, what I might’ve if I hadn’t been in the stupid ER at the time trying to distract myself. burial fucked around with this message at 09:13 on Mar 1, 2019 |
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Mar 1, 2019 07:52
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burial posted:Just think what the actual comedian might have come up with! The comedian not making a joke about it really irritated me because he was making jokes about others and not me. I understand why but it still pissed me off. So I came here and made a thread asking goons to make jokes. There were some drat good jokes in that thread and it made me feel better.
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Mar 1, 2019 14:20
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limp_cheese posted:The comedian not making a joke about it really irritated me because he was making jokes about others and not me. I understand why but it still pissed me off. So I came here and made a thread asking goons to make jokes. There were some drat good jokes in that thread and it made me feel better. Look up the thread bish
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Mar 1, 2019 14:35
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SleepySonata posted:The most awkward thing to ever happen to me was I'm sorry that happened to you, it sounds less "awkward" and more "traumatizing"
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Mar 1, 2019 16:41
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You need archives to view it but here's the thread. https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3695303&pagenumber=1&perpage=40 My favorite qoute cock hero flux posted:thanks for getting shot in the face by some disgruntled goat farmer and leeching off of tax money to get your retard head fixed
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Mar 1, 2019 17:28
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limp_cheese posted:The comedian not making a joke about it really irritated me because he was making jokes about others and not me. I understand why but it still pissed me off. So I came here and made a thread asking goons to make jokes. There were some drat good jokes in that thread and it made me feel better. I'm upset at you for not playing the "I got shot in the face for your freedoms" card hard enough to get Lowtax to drink the Malort for my dead grandma. 
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Mar 1, 2019 17:30
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limp_cheese posted:My favorite qoute lmao 
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Mar 1, 2019 17:35
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SciFiDownBeat posted:I'm sorry that happened to you, it sounds less "awkward" and more "traumatizing" Far and away less traumatizing than finding out you have a stalker because your stepdad had his identity was stolen with one of the fraudulent charges being your SA user name on a gmail account paying for a scam chat site for hooking up with Asian women.
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Mar 1, 2019 17:40
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limp_cheese posted:You need archives to view it but here's the thread. Reading this thread and it owns.
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Mar 1, 2019 17:44
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i opened three different changing stalls with women in them in the span of ten seconds at the age of 24
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Mar 1, 2019 19:04
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End of Shoelace posted:i opened three different changing stalls with women in them in the span of ten seconds at the age of 24 that reminds me of the time I accidentally walked into a girls bathroom when I was a freshman in high school I just got laughed at and turned around
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Mar 1, 2019 19:09
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limp_cheese posted:When I was in 7th grade I really liked this girl and we "going out" which meant just holding hands and saying we were going out. At one point my friends start telling me its been long enough I should kiss her. This is the first time I would have kissed a girl so I was understandably nervous. Finally one day I work up the courage and decide when we are walking of school to take the bus home I was going to do it. We walk out and I tell her to stop, turn her to face me, and say "Its time to Kiss." She starts laughing her rear end off and walking away. I walk on the bus felling like poo poo and by this point she had told most of the people on the bus. Everyone teased me the entire way home. Maybe it's besides the point, but uh "I hadn't had sex in 8 years" is very troubling and I hope you're in a far better place in your life right now... 
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Mar 1, 2019 19:28
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Stevie Lee posted:that reminds me of the time I accidentally walked into a girls bathroom when I was a freshman in high school It was Grade 4 and I had a dentist appointment that morning, so I was getting to class late. I notice the lights are off and I could hear the TV going; neat, we're watching a movie! I throw open the door and 15 little girls absolutely scream at me in unison. It's not our regular teacher, it's some old lady, and she quickly flips off the TV and lets me know the boys are on the playground. That's even better than a movie, and I leave, but why did they scream at me? What were they watching? I didn't realize until the following year when the boys got their first health class that I had walked in on my classmates learning about their menstrual cycle.
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Mar 1, 2019 19:42
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Cough Drop The Beat posted:Maybe it's besides the point, but uh "I hadn't had sex in 8 years" is very troubling and I hope you're in a far better place in your life right now... I am in a better place but the number is starting to rise again. The girl in the story was the last girl I was with and its been 5 years since she broke it off. I tried online dating and it didn't go well. This fits this thread but while on the dating site a girl sent me a like but she was in a wheelchair. I'm kind of upfront when it comes to disabilities and wrote he back a message saying I would love to go out with her but I am an active person and I like doing things like hiking and walking. I didn't realize I was being a colossal loving rear end in a top hat until my friends asked me "What the gently caress is wrong with you you rear end in a top hat?!" I did apologize to her and let her know I would still be down to take her out but it didn't happen.
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Mar 1, 2019 20:31
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Imagine if some girl tells you she really enjoys going to see 3d movies.
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Mar 1, 2019 21:20
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limp_cheese posted:I am in a better place but the number is starting to rise again. The girl in the story was the last girl I was with and its been 5 years since she broke it off. Lmao, goddamn way to bury the lead.
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Mar 1, 2019 21:34
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I’m just glad I went through the awkward teen years before social media and before smart phones, nothing was recorded To contribute when I was around 11/12, and older cousin (about 12 years older) who him and I would always playfully talk poo poo to each other, saw each other at a family event. He had a bald head I thought he just shaved it, so I said something like, what the gently caress so you have cancer or something loser, and it turned out he did To this day I still feel awful about it even though I realize I was just a kid, he wasn’t even that upset about it but I did it in front of so many people
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Mar 1, 2019 21:40
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limp_cheese posted:I am in a better place but the number is starting to rise again. The girl in the story was the last girl I was with and its been 5 years since she broke it off. Lol this is gold.
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Mar 1, 2019 22:35
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Solice Kirsk posted:Imagine if some girl tells you she really enjoys going to see 3d movies. That's exactly why I brought it up.
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Mar 1, 2019 22:41
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quote:I don't have any and neither does she so my brain gets stuck trying to figure out what to do. She finally asks me what I'm waiting for and I ask her "What's your stance on abortion again?" She finally just exasperatedly says "Are you going to gently caress me or not?!" Realizing I was losing her I finally said gently caress it. lmfao
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Mar 1, 2019 22:51
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I shat OP's pants. Boy, is the egg on my face now.
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Mar 1, 2019 23:11
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My dad walked in on me doing that one thing, to talk to me about portfolio and resumes. i hurriedly "broke camp" and we talked about my portfolio for 20 minutes. he was off-and-on trying to look away from me. i told him my eyes were up here, i'm a zealous practitioner of dominance theory.
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Mar 1, 2019 23:24
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Stevie Lee posted:that reminds me of the time I accidentally walked into a girls bathroom when I was a freshman in high school I was on a group trip in Israel when I was in my mid 20s. We were staying in a traditional Bedouin style settlement in the desert and I decided to go walk to to the shower without my glasses for who knows what reason (hint: I'm awkward and weird). Shockingly, I walked into the women's shower area accidentally and just started to laugh out of embarrassment and quickly apologized. I still have no clue why I did that to this day. Cough Drop The Beat fucked around with this message at 02:25 on Mar 2, 2019 |
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Mar 2, 2019 02:15
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Nooner posted:lmao nooner, be nice
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Mar 2, 2019 02:23
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SleepySonata posted:How do you be drunk and not want to gently caress? at least in my drunk cycle, especially if it involves four loko, there's a phase where I am the best at everything/anything. If you even looked at me i'd be like "hey pal are you saying i suck at risk? let's loving go right now, no custom rules, we're going to be here all week"
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Mar 2, 2019 02:32
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limp_cheese posted:The comedian not making a joke about it really irritated me because he was making jokes about others and not me. I understand why but it still pissed me off. So I came here and made a thread asking goons to make jokes. There were some drat good jokes in that thread and it made me feel better. I’m pleased you could count on goons in your time of need.  limp_cheese posted:You need archives to view it but here's the thread. And also thanks for the link! I know how I’m distracting myself tonight.
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Mar 2, 2019 02:46
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The first time I put my penis in a vagina was pretty awkward, let me tell you.
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Mar 2, 2019 04:28
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Jay_Zombie posted:The first time I put my penis in a vagina was pretty awkward, let me tell you. Speaking of, the first time I did the deed was with my bf and we were 16. He lasted literally one thrust and I couldn't help but start laughing. It was just like every movie, stand up comic, television show and magazine I had ever encountered had said and I just had to laugh at the comedy in the situation. He did not find it so funny, immediately got very ashamed and red and left my house so fast. I felt pretty bad about that. We made up afterward but it was never something he could joke about. Still makes me laugh sometimes though.
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Mar 2, 2019 04:52
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I went on a first date with a girl at an outdoor cafe for brunch. This cafe was dog-friendly, so she brought her little terrier, too, which is relevant for later in the awkward story. After an hour or so, the date was going well, we'd had a few drinks, the food was good, and it was a beautiful day by the beach. And who doesn't love cute animals being around? And was she just laughing at my joke? This was definitely going well. As we're talking, I notice her dog coming towards me in my peripheral vision, so I reach down to scratch him behind the ears, but don't actually look away. I'm giving this dog the pet of his life, let me tell you, but the expression on her face was not her having a good time anymore. I cocked my head to the side wondering what was going on, and then I slowly realized that the dog's head didn't feel very furry. It felt kind of like... denim. I had been vigorously scratching at her kneecap for about 20 seconds. "That's not your dog, is it?" "NOPE." All I could do is laugh, one of those really abrupt and deep ones. What am I going to do, apologize? What kind of a crazy person would I have to be to do that on purpose? Let me tell you, she did not think this was funny. She told me that she was leaving with her dog to the beach, and that I couldn't come. It was probably for the best.
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Mar 2, 2019 07:20
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Thought of something else, when I was dating my wife before we got engaged and we were both young, we went to the zoo, our zoo had a dark building with bats, reptiles etc in it. My wife went ahead of me I was watching a huge snake, then I went to catch up to her. I grabbed her hand then started walking with her, but it wasn’t my wife it was some random girl, when I finally realized it and this person probably thought she was about to be assaulted I said something like oh gently caress sorry I thought you were my girlfriend and awkwardly just ran away to find her lmao
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Mar 2, 2019 07:30
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Infinite Karma posted:I went on a first date with a girl at an outdoor cafe for brunch. This cafe was dog-friendly, so she brought her little terrier, too, which is relevant for later in the awkward story. Sounds like you dodged a bullet friend because that’s actually really funny.
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Mar 2, 2019 10:23
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quote:What's The Most Awkward Thing You've Ever Done? Everyone can already see my post history, thanks.
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Mar 2, 2019 17:54
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MarcusSA posted:Sounds like you dodged a bullet friend because that’s actually really funny. Seriously. Who is so hosed they couldn’t laugh that off as the hilarious accident it was?
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Mar 2, 2019 17:54
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burial posted:Seriously. Who is so hosed they couldn’t laugh that off as the hilarious accident it was? I've made this a test. I tell the story to a new girl, and if she doesn't think it's funny, it's a sign that we're not gonna work out. The good ones always laugh.
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Mar 2, 2019 18:07
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It isn’t even something that could (to my mind) be interpreted as “haha, oops, you caught me trying to be sexual so I’m going to play it off.” Not if it really was just vigorous knee-scratching.
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Mar 2, 2019 18:26
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burial posted:It isn’t even something that could (to my mind) be interpreted as “haha, oops, you caught me trying to be sexual so I’m going to play it off.” It's not like you moved on her like a bitch and grabbed her by the pussy or anything like that! 
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Mar 2, 2019 19:24
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burial posted:It isn’t even something that could (to my mind) be interpreted as “haha, oops, you caught me trying to be sexual so I’m going to play it off.”
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Mar 2, 2019 20:03
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