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Goons Are Gifts

Reporter: I'm here live where an innocent man has experienced the horror of someone breakung in and steal his stuff. Sir, is this true?

Me: Yes, this is the case.

Reporter: You must be in a lot of fear right now. What did they take with them, the TV? Computer? Jewelry?

Me: I don't have any of that, so no.

Reporter: You surely must still be shaking. What did those criminals do to you?

Me: Well, they placed an old screen in my desk, added a note to it and left a bag of weed.

Reporter: What's on the note?

Me: A password for a Netflix trial month along with a greeting that stuff gets better in the future. Also the number of an artist to get my walls painted differently.

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