lose that dogged nuclear error in the stacks before keanu gets here i swear to god if

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > lose that dogged nuclear error in the stacks before keanu gets here i swear to god if

Bored As Fuck: Jan 1, 2006; Fun Shoe

Slim Pickens posted:

Where the gently caress did Arya even come from loving lol these writers suck

Yes they do. Holy poo poo that was a bad episode.

# ¿ Apr 29, 2019 05:31

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# ¿ May 22, 2024 11:31

Bored As Fuck: Jan 1, 2006; Fun Shoe

Holy poo poo the writers cannot write a battle to save their lives. They are great at writing small skirmishes and individual fights, because the fight choreographers do the brunt of the work there. But they cannot write battles. Battle of the Bastards was terrible, not only because they made Jon a loving moron and Rickon decide to run in a straight line, but they apparently think bodies pile up 10 feet high and suddenly become walls somehow in the heat of a battle. Oh, and they don't give their only giant a club or shield or any armor. Great writing.

The only battles that have actually been good were Blackwater and the battle for the Wall against the Wildlings. They were well written. They had two generals going up against one another who had sound tactics and strategies. They didn't make one character act like a loving idiot and use no sound strategy and tactics, just to save themselves some time and effort in the writers room because they couldn't figure out a good way for X character to do Y and get Z result that they wanted at the end.

Now onto the battle. Okay, so first of all the first set piece action scene was stupid. They way the writers wrote it was capital B Bad. Dothraki charging into poo poo not knowing what was there? Are you loving retarded? Who gave that order? Light cavalry isn't going to do poo poo against the wights. At best, half of the Dothraki should've been manning the walls, and you could keep the other half as a mobile reserve to flank the enemy if and when the wights broke through the walls of Winterfell. It'd at least be fighting the wights on two fronts, instead of an idiotic frontal assault.

Why the gently caress was Ghost with the Dothraki and not with Jon? Rob won every battle he fought with Grey Wind. Also, great job on not having bonfires set up at 100 meter intervals out to the woods to know that when they went out, the bad guys were coming?

Not only was the writing bad, but the cinematography was poor too. I had a blacked out room, and it was still too dark. There were way too many close up shots of the battle during the entire battle, but particularly during the first charge of the wights, and when the wights got over the walls. Then there's the editing. Jesus Christ, enough with the quick cuts and speed ups - did anyone else notice that some shots were sped up to maybe 1.25 or 1.5x speed? Is this 2007? Those loving quick cuts... They were ABSOLUTELY NOT NECESSARY. At all. Learn how to direct and edit you loving hacks. In the first 15 minutes, we could barely make out who was who, we had no loving clue where anyone was relative to the front gates of the castle, and the only establishing shot we ever got was before the battle even began. Why couldn't Bran have given us a literal bird's eye view at several points in the battle? That would've made us more aware of how dire the situation was. Did they just think that not knowing would be scarier, or were they too incompetent to figure out the layout inside Winterfell to do a shot like that? In any competent action scene, you need to know where your characters are, relative to the action. Otherwise, it's all just a giant mess and confusing for the audience. They could've made each character's positions clear in the last episode when they were planning it on the map, maybe making it a few minutes longer. "Okay, Brienne will lead the Umbers, Karstarks, and BleepyBloops to the left of the gate, etc." Speaking of the last episode, why the gently caress did no one question Bran about previous battles that were fought against the Night King? What kind of tactics does he use? Has he ever had wight animals in large numbers? Has he ever had a dragon? How patient is he? Is he just going to wait us out, waiting for us to start to starve, so we're forced to do something even more dumb than our original battle plan? Why didn't they have a plan to have the dragons burn their own dead after they've fallen, to deny the enemy reinforcements? Would've been really easy to do after they fall back behind the castle walls. Jon knows the Night King has this power, and for shock value or easy writing or convenience's sake for the show runners, they made Jon a loving idiot again.

The way the writers write the show, they make Jon Snow an almost incompetent general. He got most of his people killed during the Battle of the Bastards. He's a good leader of small units (like in the Battle for the Wall), and can make great speeches, but his strategy and tactics should have gotten everyone in the show killed during the Battle of Winterfell. Before the battle, have small groups of Knights of the Vale posted all around Winterfell as scouts. Have Bran warg into ravens and other animals as a way of scouting, too. How do you not have scouts? They only knew the dead were past the Last Hearth because Edd and Tormund were able to outpace the dead. It was by sheer blind luck they were even given a warning.

Once you know the dead are coming, have your pre positioned bonfires posted at 100 meter intervals so it's not completely dark. The writers could've done that and it would have been even more suspenseful as each bonfire going out meant that the dead were closer and closer. Additionally, archers could be more effective with those known ranges. Their onagers and trebuchets could've been dialed in to those spots, too. Why have all of the Unsullied in front of the trenches? Why not have two sets of trenches? If that's not possible for time or resource reasons, then put at least some of your Unsullied behind the trenches, ready to form up in a shield wall any time a breach occurs. Have more Unsullied just next to the walls, and maybe 1,000 behind the walls in groups of 150 dispersed around the interior to shore up the inevitable breeches in the wall.

You had at least 8,000 Unsullied, a few hundred Wildlings at most, at least 2,000 knights of the Vale, and hundreds of fighting age men from the other Northern Houses. The walls were pretty sparsely manned, all things considered. Way too many people were outside the walls. After the archers left, there was only one man per gap in the stone in the walls. Not good. Also, what about siege defense weapons? Were there no heavy logs covered in pitch to send down the side of the walls? What about huge tapestries repurposed, covered in pitch, being thrown off the side of the walls, and being lit on fire, denying the wights a way up in at least one area of the wall? What about giant scythes like the one on The Wall?

Also, no one had a contingency plan for defending the inside of the castle? Ten guys with shields and spears could have held a hallway. 50 could've held the great hall. Then there's the crypt. Oh for fucks sake, you couldn't hand out any dragon glass daggers to those people? You couldn't post 20 loving guards inside? 20 guys could have kept those people in the crypts safe, and wouldn't have been missed much outside. And seriously loving LOL at long-dead skin and bones Starks being resurrected and punching out of heavy stone burial chambers like it's loving drywall, give me a loving break. And there was no payoff for that scene in the last episode with Davos and the girl with greyscale on her face like Stannis' daughter - she didn't kill any of the Stark wights, when last episode she said she was a fighter like her brothers.

What's the deal with guarding what was said to be the most important character, Bran, with 20 Iron Born from the Iron Islands? Why aren't they defending him with 50, or 100 guys? What's the deal with Bran warging out nearly the entire episode? What the gently caress was he doing? Where was he? We first see him warg into the ravens, but where were they going? Is there going to be a payoff to that, or is it just going to be another bit of lovely writing that's not going to be explained?

How did Arya jump on the Night King if, not 10 meters behind him, are 12 White Walkers and probably close to 100 wights? How'd she manage that? We know the Weirwood tree isn't really close to any other building in Winterfell. If anything, she should have been in the tree, but that wasn't clearly shown. She literally came out of loving nowhere. Excellent writing.

At the end of the episode, we see all of our main characters, and we see Jaime, Brienne, and Pod in a corner as the only ones left. How convenient. There couldn't be 10-50 other guys with them to make it more believable? In the preview for the next episode, Dany says "We have won the Great War. Now we will win the final war." With what? How the gently caress do you have an army after this? We see Unsullied marching out of the gate of Winterfell. Where were they? Why didn't we see them for a 20 second clip of the episode, holding off a breech in the wall, or something? How many Unsullied, out of probably close to 8,000 (she must have lost a lot during the Harpy insurgency in Mereen), will she have left after the battle? 2,000 being left alive would be being extremely generous. How is Dany going to win against Cersei? Drogon got massively injured, his wings should be Swiss loving cheese at this point. So she's got one extremely injured Dragon, and one okay one. Cool cool. Totally going to go well against 20,000 men from the Golden Company and however many thousand the Lannisters have left, and god forbid they bring more than 1 scorpion this time, then the good guys are really hosed.

We didn't see any of the heads of the other Northern Houses in the entire episode - are any of them still alive? We didn't even see Lord Royce or any Knights of the Vale. If they're alive, how many fighting men could they possibly have left? A couple hundred?

Bored As Fuck fucked around with this message at 06:44 on Apr 29, 2019

# ¿ Apr 29, 2019 06:34

Bored As Fuck: Jan 1, 2006; Fun Shoe

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Bored As Fuck fucked around with this message at 03:55 on Apr 30, 2019

# ¿ Apr 29, 2019 07:23

Bored As Fuck: Jan 1, 2006; Fun Shoe

holocaust bloopers posted:

And getting rid of the Dothraki right away probably helped with the budget and logistics of shooting with a ton of horses.

Then just have them dismounted behind the walls instead of writing like poo poo.

# ¿ Apr 29, 2019 16:02

Bored As Fuck: Jan 1, 2006; Fun Shoe

Duzzy Funlop posted:

Seriously, this.

Yeah, there's a whole bunch of stuff they could have done better, but good lord, how does someone start to dissect realism and strategy/tactics (or lack thereof) in the very last season of this dumb show?

"They hosed up the battle of the bastards". If you think "they" hosed it up, go read the book where George RR Martin does even more ludicrous poo poo in that battle. The writers of the show toned it down for TV, because a ton of the stuff the dude wrote is so far beyond "over the top" that it's hard to put into words. The battle for Blackwater Bay had Tyrion pull up a giant loving submerged chain all across the bay to keep Stannis' ships trapped. Where's the 1000 word write-up on that being ludicrous because ships aren't agile enough to just spin like a top and moonwalk out of the bay. Where's the write-up on wildfire? Where's the write-up on the constant teleporting around of not just characters, but entire fleets and armies in the last 2 seasons that the show writers had to build in because they had to start wrapping up?

There are enough things to criticize the show writers over but not-smart generals and dubious tactics...in the last season of the show? Come on, son. Relax and enjoy the show, smoke some weed or something, idk.

If there's something that genuinely annoyed me about the show writers, it's how they massively hosed up the entirety of the Dorne storyline in season 5 (?), complete with comically lovely fight choreography and hilariously stupid lines. "You want the good girl, but you need a bad pussy"

I'll agree on the point of almost all of the main characters making it out of that episode unscathed, because that was some serious plot-armor bullshit, but hey, I'm like 100% certain that a whole bunch of audience favorites are gonna get popped before the show is over.

Oh, I haven't just complained about this episode's writing, I've had gripes with the writing in the show for a while, I just never posted in the GIP threads. I just happen to have read a decent amount of military history, and I also love filmmaking and writing. With those combined interests, I see areas where, with better writing, they could have made the show better. They could have easily made some small changes here and there that would have made the battle more realistic, while also making it just as, if not more, suspenseful. Also, using lovely filmmaking techniques that amateur filmmaking Youtube video essayists know are bad is kind of unforgivable given HBO's budget and writing staff.

Whatever, I'm probably being insufferable, but I just wish they had a decent military historian consultant in the writers room.

# ¿ Apr 29, 2019 16:22

Bored As Fuck: Jan 1, 2006; Fun Shoe

UP THE BUM NO BABY posted:

It's pretty clear when the shows writers took over and lost sight of the idea of no heros or honorable deaths. None of my boys died, and I think that's perhaps the worst possible outcome.

Same. Would've been more significant if some main characters died.

# ¿ Apr 29, 2019 17:48

Bored As Fuck: Jan 1, 2006; Fun Shoe

Kawasaki Nun posted:

More main characters should have died.

If I'm being honest I wanted the wights to win but that all of the people killed were orbital characters seems a bit light for GoT. I guess Daenerys losing her army is pretty big but I expected the long night to be a bit more dire.

I was kind of hoping she died. Would've made the episode more devastating, and opened Jon up for going for the Iron Throne. Would've been kind of cool if she died with Jorah.

# ¿ Apr 30, 2019 01:18

Bored As Fuck: Jan 1, 2006; Fun Shoe

Kawasaki Nun posted:

having either Varys, Tyrion, Jon or Arya die would've been pretty good IMO. Arya dying in her effort to kill the Night King could've had some interesting god of death plot stuff in it.

For a second I thought everyone at winterfell was gonna die which also would've been pretty sweet imo

Honestly, it would've been incredibly ballsy and I wouldn't have been mad at the writers for killing off almost everyone, and having Jon or Dany ride off on the dragons with one or two other main characters. That would've been cool.

# ¿ Apr 30, 2019 02:16

Bored As Fuck: Jan 1, 2006; Fun Shoe

A Bad Poster posted:

How much wildfire does Cersei have left? She could push the nuclear button and just kill everyone off including herself if there's enough to blow up the Red Keep. It's not below her, she was about to poison herself and her kid at the Battle of the Blackwater.

And then Tormund and Bronn take joint custody of the throne

The Mad King ordered it to be placed under the entire city. Cersei only blew up the Cept of Balor, so the wildfire caches under the rest of the city should still be intact. Though Tyrion might have had the head pyromancer take some of that out, even though he did order them to make a lot more barrels.

It doesn't matter because the writers can make up whatever they want, logic or previous shows be damned.

# ¿ May 3, 2019 04:14

Bored As Fuck: Jan 1, 2006; Fun Shoe

holocaust bloopers posted:

Did your hours of watching YouTube videos about screenwriting tell you that?

Lol

I'm glad you're enjoying the show. Doesn't mean it couldn't be written better.

# ¿ May 3, 2019 05:49

Bored As Fuck: Jan 1, 2006; Fun Shoe

This guy makes really good video essays and captures a poo poo ton of stuff that was wrong with this episode.

https://youtu.be/GI7zy1PTMp0

# ¿ May 3, 2019 11:35

Bored As Fuck: Jan 1, 2006; Fun Shoe

Dude McAwesome posted:

when he pulled the ice RPG off his back earlier in the ep I thought for sure a dragon was going to die

hahahaha, yeah agreed. A+ for intimidation. Like a D or F for actually getting poo poo done. This was the first organised defence he’s come up against and he dies? that sucks.

Yup. 8 seasons of buildup, building up the threat, revealing little by little, and the biggest threat to the entire world is ganked by Deus Ex Arya. In one episode. "The Long Night." Such bullshit.

# ¿ May 4, 2019 03:59

Bored As Fuck: Jan 1, 2006; Fun Shoe

TF CURES GENERATOR posted:

Could you explain in excruciating detail what was wrong with it

Well, let's see..

I'm a pedant, I know.

I'm glad you enjoyed it but I and a lot of other people didnt. Our lives are hosed, life is poo poo and then you die, climate change is ruining the planet and it's only going to get worse, Trump is president and is running this country into the ground and erroding and destroying our civil institutions and our alliances which will take decades to repair, and another recession is just around the corner whether it'll be a housing, credit card, or student loan bubble, and we have trickle down fucks running things. Climate change will end up killing hundreds of millions in the coming decades.

So yeah, entertainment is an escape for me. But the quality of the show has gone down since they ran out of material from the books. And this episode was a terrible way to end what was supposed to be the biggest threat to everyone - and it being resolved in one episode is extremelt anti-climactic. The way the episode went, it proves Cersei right. And now she's the big bad. It's just not a satisfying ending to 8 seasons of buildup.

I'm glad other people are able to overlook the episode's and the writers' mistakes and enjoy the episode and the show. I got some enjoyment out of the episode too. I just wish it were better. People can disagree.

Bored As Fuck fucked around with this message at 05:28 on May 4, 2019

# ¿ May 4, 2019 05:26

Bored As Fuck: Jan 1, 2006; Fun Shoe

holocaust bloopers posted:

Stop. You’re triggering our resident screenwriter.

That's some hate boner you've got there for me.

we should just bang it out

# ¿ May 5, 2019 04:11

Bored As Fuck: Jan 1, 2006; Fun Shoe

lmao

no I dont think anyone posted that, but that's great

# ¿ May 6, 2019 01:10

Bored As Fuck: Jan 1, 2006; Fun Shoe

Hey remember the fact that the Starks are bonded to their direwolves?

Remember when the show had way better writing, and a Stark losing their direwolve meant bad things for that Stark? Like, Sansa lost Lady, and was later Joffrey's prisoner for 2 and a half seasons. Nymeria left Arya (because Arya shooed her away after Nymeria attacked Joffrey, and Arya knew her pup would be killed if she stayed), and she was later caught by the Mountain and held prisoner at Harrenhal. Rob was separated from Grey Wind (he was locked in the kennel), and both died separately. Summer died defending Bran in the Three Eyed Raven's cave, and things didnt go so well for Bran after that until he got to Winterfell. Shaggy Dog was killed by the Bolton men, and Rickon was killed shortly after.

If they're continuing with the theme, Jon's gonna die. If they're not, then holy loving poo poo what a dumb loving move.

Respect Ghost: How ‘Game of Thrones’ Botched Jon’s Relationship With His Direwolf

quote:

Ghost has been with Jon through thick and thin—from warning Jon that a reanimated member of the Night’s Watch was trying to murder Lord Commander Mormont in the first season, all the way to fighting against the army of the dead last week. (A fight, it seems, which tore the poor fella’s right ear off.) I can understand why Jon would want to leave Ghost in the North, and I appreciate that it should ensure his canine companion’s safety moving forward. But the bizarre indifference to leaving Ghost—for possibly the last time, depending on what happens in the South—was an inexcusable narrative choice. David Benioff and D.B. Weiss have messed up the import of the Jon-Ghost dynamic (among many other things).

Bored As Fuck fucked around with this message at 05:13 on May 8, 2019

# ¿ May 8, 2019 05:05

Bored As Fuck: Jan 1, 2006; Fun Shoe

Proud Christian Mom posted:

log off

Put me on ignore if my posting pisses you off. Alternatively, accept that some people are going to have different opinions on pop culture. HOLY poo poo WHAT A CONCEPT

# ¿ May 8, 2019 05:16

Bored As Fuck: Jan 1, 2006; Fun Shoe

It would've made sense if he bonded with Rhaegal, but lol let's kill him off for reasons

# ¿ May 8, 2019 07:46

Bored As Fuck: Jan 1, 2006; Fun Shoe

They also turned 40,000 Dothraki into 4,000 for the Battle of Winterfell. Isn't that the amount Dany had when she brought them over? She couldn't have possibly lost more than 5,000 in the Lannister wagon train battle.

# ¿ May 9, 2019 20:41

Bored As Fuck: Jan 1, 2006; Fun Shoe

TF CURES GENERATOR posted:

It's pretty amazing how much goodwill the show has burnt in such a short time.

If they finish with an "it was all a dream" ending I think it might just take the title of biggest wet fart

HBO gave the go-ahead to D&D for them to have a full season of 10 episodes for Season 8. They refused it. Said they could wrap it up all nice and neat in 6, they said.

Lmao what loving cunts

# ¿ May 13, 2019 00:59

Bored As Fuck: Jan 1, 2006; Fun Shoe

Sarah posted:

Hey kids did I ever tell you the story of how I met your mother?

... she's also technically your great aunt!

# ¿ May 13, 2019 01:01

Bored As Fuck: Jan 1, 2006; Fun Shoe

Nostalgia4Dogges posted:

I’m telling you it’s like Battlestar Galactica

Built up all these cool concepts, ideas, and side stories, but don’t know how to write themselves out of it. This season has just been poo poo through and through I’ve been telling y’all. It just all feels rushed and them burnt out and going through the motions to finally finish this

Holy poo poo, you're exactly right.

# ¿ May 13, 2019 03:23

Bored As Fuck: Jan 1, 2006; Fun Shoe

This episode was shot well, had a lot of cool scenes. Could've written it better for sure.

Lol @ Rhaegal getting ganked in a minute by 10 scorpions, and Drogon not getting hit a single time by about 200 ships or 100 scorpions on the walls. Very convenient.

Overall it was a decent episode. But Christ this was all rushed as gently caress.

# ¿ May 13, 2019 03:27

Bored As Fuck: Jan 1, 2006; Fun Shoe

beanieson posted:

Dany did 9/11

Glad I wasn't the only one who thought that.

# ¿ May 13, 2019 03:55

Bored As Fuck: Jan 1, 2006; Fun Shoe

beanieson posted:

You know what was cool was all those little blips of green wild fire going off across the city as Dany lost her poo poo.

Would have been cool if Cersei actually just said "gently caress it" and ordered the pyromancers to ignite all the wildfire caches around the city, destroying everyone inside.

That would have been awesome, but instead we get Dany doing 75 9/11s all over the city so there's absolute justification for killing her.

# ¿ May 13, 2019 05:35

Bored As Fuck: Jan 1, 2006; Fun Shoe

Ceiling fan posted:

Goddamnit, another major battle where all we got were characters doing character bullshit, and plot, continuity, physics, and even basic numbers get thrown out the loving window.

We see 3 people alive after the Battle of Winterfell, and woops lol somehow 4k Unsullied and even 2k Dothraki survived somehow lmao gently caress off D&D you hacks.

Oh and glossing over getting the rest of the Northern houses on board, the rest of the Riverlands houses on boad. Otherwise how would they have thousands?

Also lol @ the Golden Company parking themselves outside the walls of a loving city that they're trying to defend hahahaha

D&D give zero fucks about logic, character arcs, about all the plot threads never resolved, internal logic within the world, etc. Oh we need this number of guys to survive even though we never showed any surviving the battle? Who cares, they still have x number of guys, because gently caress you for paying attention and not just mindlessly watching the show.

# ¿ May 13, 2019 05:41

Bored As Fuck: Jan 1, 2006; Fun Shoe

WAR CRIME SYNDICAT posted:

All of those were bad guys, though, or at least people trying to kill her / prevent her from achieving her goals. Not really innocents.

1. Slaver
2. Guy trying to steal her dragons and kill her.
3. City full of slavers.
4. Slave masters.
5. Slaver Masters starting an insurgency against her
6. Rival Khals who want to keep her in Vaes Dothrak forever
7. Lannisters, her enemies
8. Bad guys and thousands of innocents along with them.

Bored As Fuck fucked around with this message at 17:32 on May 13, 2019

# ¿ May 13, 2019 17:29

Bored As Fuck: Jan 1, 2006; Fun Shoe

Kawasaki Nun posted:

gently caress GRRM for handing the series he was too lazy to finish off to a company that is too lazy to finish it right.

The wights should have won

Yup. gently caress me this show has gone off a cliff.

# ¿ May 13, 2019 20:13

Bored As Fuck: Jan 1, 2006; Fun Shoe

WAR CRIME SYNDICAT posted:

Garrett Dillahunt is a treasure and I absolutely loved that the next thing I saw him in was Raising Hope as the well-intentioned dopey dad.

I loved Raising Hope. He really is a treasure.

Garret Dillahunt was also great in The Mindy Project. Dude has so much loving range, he can convincingly play a dope, the straight man, a goofy guy, a scumbag, or an evil canniver. He's amazing.

Bored As Fuck fucked around with this message at 10:11 on May 14, 2019

# ¿ May 14, 2019 10:01