A Pack of Kobolds posted:

STOP LITTERING posted:

I hope the garfield pizza is the greatest pizza in all the world.

Better than new york, chicago, detroit, neopolitan, hell- EVEN indian expat style i hope garfield style rules over them all forever.

Mordja posted:

It's an orange storefront with comic strips in the window.

Picture from here as is this quote:

COMPAGNIE TOMMY posted:

Well according to the Toronto Star-Ledger the pizza sucks. What an epic meme!

Mordja posted:

Yeah, this dude definitely seems stable.

pseudanonymous posted:

Aren't their tons of pictures of Garfield? Or is he a never-nude.

pseudanonymous posted:

Thanks for clarifying, I surely didn't misunderstand on purpose.

Sleeveless posted:

Sitting at the top of a skyscraper built by literal slave labor in a city carved out of the desert in defiance of god and nature a man whose life work is a YouTube channel that has gotten fewer views than this thread is excitedly explaining to a dying magnate of a dying media format that the box that holds lasagna also holds tissues.

Thots and Prayers posted:

I love terrible books. I coughed up $5 for an ebook and will read this.

Sleeveless posted:

"What if inoffensive thing for children was actually spooky and mature" is the dumbest loving thing, sorry.

Pastry of the Year posted:

when I think of lasagna, I think of - whoa there, buddy, you guessed it! - cowboys. love those cowboys and those wild west tall tales of them cuttin' up strips of real beef to put into their famous campfire lasagnas

COMPAGNIE TOMMY posted:

Like

Why was this such a big dream of that guy's? Garfield is not an inspirational or deep comic by any means. In any case it seems to be based mostly on the 2004 CGI crapfest starring Bill Murray. The funniest thing about that movie is the rumor that Bill Murray only signed on because he thought it was written by the Coen brothers but in actuality it was just some dude named Joel Cohen who writes all kinds of lovely movies. And of course, when you think of Garfield, of course the first thing that comes to mind is his incredibly well-known catchphrase, "love me, feed me, don't leave me". What the gently caress?

Why don't they just focus on making a really good lasagna? Why are the recipes crap if they took so long to develop? What's with these weird, bad ideas on how to reuse the grease-infused single use disposable packaging?

What was the thought process behind this? I just really want to understand.

Cowboy cut lasagna? What the gently caress? I feel like a person who doesn't understand sarcasm trying to really get the "deep meaning" behind some throwaway monkeycheese meta-joke. Even for a money laundering operation this would be poo poo.

Ziv Zulander posted:

The guy doing it is a gay Saudi Arabian failson whose oil baron dad gave him a bunch of money to keep him busy and out of the way

venomsnek posted:

I tried one

flesh dance posted:

SweetWillyRollbar posted:

What's the thing you push the garbage into the oven with called?

Prokhor Zakharov posted:

Thots and Prayers posted:

{Arabiolosis} Chapter 1 - Meet the Mazri's

So here's how the chapters are structured:

• One of the ten 'Mazri's Laws'
  
• A somewhat chronological portion of the memoir
  
• 'What is the theme of Chapter X?' summary.
  

You'd think it would make sense to have these items be related and serve to reinforce each other but ha ha ha no. So: Law, memoir, summary... aaaand let's go!


Nathen needs to add custom Garfortune cookies to the shop, pronto, because the man is a hidden genius. Check it out:


Anyways, we start off somewhere in Canada - Nathen is 10. The phone rings at his house - it's dad calling from Saudi Arabia. He just landed a job "as a CEO of a large American IT company based in Riyadh." Nathan and his mom celebrate.


Narrator voice over: It did not. Also: all those people guessing that Nathen's dad was underwriting Garfaccinos can collect your prize.

Nathan next introduces nine family members, none of whom are ever mentioned again. This will happen many more times before the chapter is over. His immediate family packs up and heads to SA. They land and are greeted by even more family, including...


Absent Saudi Arabian CEO FailDad is one of the few recurring characters in the book. I imagine him to be as warm, loving, and humorous as his title implies.


Too busy talking about literally growing up with a silver spoon in his mouth, Nathen misses an opportunity to make a reference to his lifelong love of Garfield and orange-colored food. I'm sure that was a minor oversight.

They meet even more family members who are never mentioned again, many of whom come with head-scratching descriptions:


I'm stealing this as my next bar pickup line: "Baby, are you starring in the stage adaptation of Jane Eyre? Because you are pale and free of peccadilloes."

Nathen goes on to mention three extended relative families and six people by name. Don't bother keeping track as none of them matter. Absent Saudi Arabian CEO Faildad takes one look at Nathen and decides he needs to go back to the drawing board and impregnates Mom upon arrival. Mom then flies back to Canada with Nathan in tow to have the baby:


Don't worry, by the end of the book Nathen winds up alienating all his siblings not just Baby Eddie.


Family and friends will either be right or wrong - wise words here.

Up next: Chapter 2: Whiny and Gay in the KSA

Enola Gay-For-Pay posted:

I loved her show on food network

Korthal posted:

If this place isn't out of business by the end of October, I'll go myself and check it out when I'm in Toronto for a concert. I'm less interested in the food and more interested in the actual place. I mean, what it must be like to work in a place that just constantly blares garfield cartoons.