GarfieldEats: I have returned to what I love; cereal boxes and coloring

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > GarfieldEats: I have returned to what I love; cereal boxes and coloring

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Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

In the initial pose, his hair from the side is certainly something. I think I made it to something something "magnetic" before I had to nope out.

How can one person contain so much concentrated creepiness and not be a cartoon villain

# ¿ Sep 1, 2022 22:34

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# ¿ May 10, 2024 18:55

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

StabMasterArson posted:

Even if he did stand a chance at getting a single licensing deal (he doesn't), he'd blow it with all the cutesy "not-swearing" and other unprofessional poo poo he's got all over the actual egeez website. Especially since he's talking about cartoons.

Dude is seriously deluded.

# ¿ Nov 8, 2022 16:39

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

It's like he wants to position himself to be the brand official version of wish or aliexpress without realizing that the whole reason those sites make money is they don't sell licensed poo poo.

If you want Dornald Dunk lingerie you go to wish or Ali because they will do poo poo like that and sell it for 8 bucks when it costs 12 cents to make.

Egeez ain't getting a deal to sell Donald Duck without getting screwed on costs.

I just don't know what his loving brain is thinking. Guess I haven't had arabiolosis yet

# ¿ Nov 8, 2022 17:05

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

MassRafTer posted:

The Egeez business plan isn't getting the deal to sell Donald Duck. It's getting the licensee who has the Donald Duck license to say Phucket, I'm selling on Egeez instead of Amazon. His plan is to be the middleman for selling licensed products while offering nothing in return other than being a site that won't list anything that isn't a licensed product. Also it has to be sold at the lowest price possible.

So it's even dumber than I thought. Brain worms.

# ¿ Nov 8, 2022 21:11

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

Much like the fact that the name "Egeez" is stupid, has nothing to do with anything, and is infuriatingly useless at describing what the company does, so follow the descriptions Nathen gives on the loving website.

# ¿ Nov 8, 2022 23:46

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

Escape From Noise posted:

Die for the Egeeze
https://twitter.com/nathenmazri/status/1589701962500820993?s=20&t=bMfrOQXYYGzTWfNGErdUTQ

I'm sure companies who he has not spoken with except to receive Cease & Desist notices love having him claim they're working together

Also again, I just cannot get over how loving unprofessional that poo poo is for a site that is (supposedly) going to be heavily associated with Disney and cartoons and such.

# ¿ Nov 9, 2022 16:33

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

"I FKN deserve it"

No you in fact do not, Nathen

# ¿ Nov 9, 2022 17:02

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

Escape From Noise posted:

I love this appeal "gently caress it, it's not like there are choices!".

Phucket
A*se
FKN

YOU ARE TRYING TO MARKET YOURSELF TO DISNEY YOU loving TWIT

# ¿ Nov 9, 2022 17:41

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

Escape From Noise posted:

*FKN twit

E, GEEZ I WASN'T STAYING #BROWSED

# ¿ Nov 9, 2022 17:52

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

david_a posted:

I don’t want this to get lost. It looks like he’s wearing a plastic hair hat that’s a size or two too small

I've noticed this two or three times now and his hair is just as uncanny valley as the man himself

# ¿ Nov 9, 2022 23:44

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

a peck of pickled peckers posted:

“Your entrée into licensing?”

I'm sure he thought it was a cutesy pun to write based on a Totally Real Statement That He Really Received (tm)

# ¿ Nov 10, 2022 19:03

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

Chernobyl baby posted:

this has massively improved the vibe on the discord

I can't find the original tiktok but apparently Nathen said something transphobic and also that disabled people should be put to death and people hijacked his discord (presumably one of his admins deciding they weren't cool with this and going feral)

I already can't stand the man, but I am curious to know what he said

# ¿ Nov 14, 2022 16:35

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

Elephant Ambush posted:

https://www.tiktok.com/@nathenmazriarabia?lang=en

I appreciate the link but I'm not wading through that nightmare lol

# ¿ Nov 14, 2022 21:28

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

Binary Badger posted:

So whatever happened to this?

eGeez is likely to be just as successful

His dad saw the mansion and 5 cities part and said "drat I aint paying for all that"

I wonder what will happen to him without his discord fake-pumping his ego. If people just stop responding to him, will he go away?

LOL no he will never log off

# ¿ Nov 16, 2022 19:48

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

It's the second part I recall, I figured it was busier than it was I guess

# ¿ Nov 16, 2022 19:57

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

Elephant Ambush posted:

I honestly loved that. Someone would make fun of Nathen on twitter and he'd post the tweet and command everyone in the discord to attack and it was always met with total silence lmao

I totally see him believing he has thousands of rabid fans

# ¿ Nov 16, 2022 21:23

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

Tbf the tweet that had video from "Ewan" was from May 2021. Also I'm assuming "you can't delete tweets" is an aftereffect of Elon-twit

# ¿ Nov 21, 2022 19:40

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

MassRafTer posted:

Yeah now I definitely hate this man.

# ¿ Nov 29, 2022 21:47

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

MassRafTer posted:

Here are some notes after the racism that turned everyone off:

Nathan predicts a civil war in 2023 from people who are scared to say Muslim and non binary.
Iggy's is very well thought of. Warner Bros and the Smurfs owners said no one has ever thought of this before.
Many foreign nations are A-HA-HA about American brands, but brick and mortar stores are closing down.
Nathen is a tech guy.
He is very classy and generous.
He sees color (he loves color) but does not see religion.
Nathen likes living in Toronto.
He moved to Toronto 5 years ago.

They start describing the photo (the whole point of the podcast) 20 minutes in and it gets very boring.

Some people who were on coke wanted a three some with Nathen and offered him coke and said he strikes them as a coke head.
Nathen is so telepathic he can tell if you are a murderer when you walk by.
Even the stans were impressed by how fast Nathen cleaned up the discord hacking.
You shouldn't partner with someone you've never met. It could even be someone living in a homeless shelter. And by that Nathen means someone with no business acumen, he has nothing against homeless shelters, he delivered lasagna to them.
Being homeless should be a transition. They should be taken to Zara or H&M and a barber for a fix up. Nathen is going to start a homeless shelter called Fix Upper.
Some conspiracies are true.
Mothers know they can't trust Toys R Us that is why there is Iggy's.
It will be the Ubereats of restaurants
Iggy's will have real inclusivity, not like when corporations do pretend to do inclusivity.
He created Nathfield based on South Park and Family Guy.
He has contacted Nick Cave to do something with Nathfield.

I feel like I'm having a stroke

# ¿ Dec 1, 2022 03:02

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

Duckman2008 posted:

Wait wait wait wait

E-Geez

Is pronounced “Iggies.”!

And not “E-Geez.”

What…the…gently caress…

Who would look at that and say Iggie ? This is super upsetting and makes no sense.

I will not listen to the audio but I assume it sounds kinda like "eggies."

# ¿ Dec 1, 2022 09:38

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

Escape From Noise posted:

Nothing new and not really related to anything about what he's up to but I find the way the thumbnail angle makes it look like he has a huge forehead.

I cannot ever get over how "arabiolosis" sounds like a loving degenerative condition

# ¿ Dec 2, 2022 18:02

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

Does Nathen think he's black or am I misreading that

# ¿ Dec 11, 2022 15:41

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

Frank Frank posted:

It’s this

I see it now yeah. I was a little hungover when I first saw the post. Even so, Nathen's particular brand of "not quite English" is so loving hard to read sometimes

# ¿ Dec 11, 2022 20:43

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

Seth Pecksniff posted:

That last comment lmao

that body??

# ¿ Dec 23, 2022 19:21

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

Elephant Ambush posted:

Hating on Greta is not supporting Tate by default. Nathen is a stupid piece of poo poo but I don't think he's defending traffickers or trafficking. This thread is doing the "I like pancakes" "oh so you hate waffles" thing

And now I'll probably get called a Nathen defender or Tate defender

And just so we're covering all bases here, Greta has rich parents and endorsed Biden who increased oil drilling and fracking after he got elected so there are no good people involved here

Twice now he has done the "poor @cobratate" thing and that, combined with some of his other dogshit takes, leads me to believe he's a loving garbage human being

Also who gives a gently caress if Greta has rich parents or endorsed the "least bad" option in the last election

In what way is a girl who has actively pushed on the world stage for better climate policies at all comparable to Andrew "I sex trafficked multiple women" Tate?

# ¿ Jan 2, 2023 23:12

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

Killingyouguy! posted:

my friend got me a copy of arabiolosis for christmas

# ¿ Jan 6, 2023 02:04

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

Megaraptor posted:

You guys aren't ready for this.
Oh, Nathen, why? I will never understand your brain.

Go here to listen but just brace yourself. He's like Tommy Wiseau level script writing, but hornier. https://www.instagram.com/reel/CnDpjmoqgcq/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

I got to "go away, temptation, go away" before I quit out. I do not have what it takes to follow through.

# ¿ Jan 6, 2023 10:25

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

That's where it ended.

Also, "this b*itch of an #Earth,"

Really? Because it looked like the progress bar hadn't gotten very far when I closed it

# ¿ Jan 6, 2023 16:48

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

Megaraptor posted:

Oh sorry, no, just Nathen announcing the voice actor for Nathfield with an intro that's bonkers even by Nathen standards. I guess I expected crazy but not horny.

Exactly! "What a nice day...MAKES ME HARD"

I really did too! Nathen is full of surprises.

The alien cockroach Vincent D'Onofrio from Men in Black is more human than this loving sociopath

# ¿ Jan 7, 2023 03:25

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

chadbear posted:

This thread shows up on page 1 in my google results for Nathfield. He must be aware of it. Nathfield if you read this please consider cleansing this bitch of a forum

Nathan if you read this please consider professional help

You are a literal sociopath

# ¿ Jan 13, 2023 16:45

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

That is all mental illness, and I am not kidding.

# ¿ Jan 13, 2023 18:06

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

Love me feed me don't leave me was the most pathetic business slogan I've ever godamn seen

Really wish Nathen's dad would get him some help

# ¿ Jan 15, 2023 21:18

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

Frank Frank posted:

That slogan was literally ripped from a Garfield comic strip. It makes more sense if you imagine a cat saying it

I know but as a business slogan it comes across as sad and desperate

# ¿ Jan 15, 2023 23:31

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

Anticheese posted:

It feels like he wants it to be redbubble but with licensed characters

This might be the best explanation for this idiotic business plan I've read. It's still incredibly stupid, mind you.

Also seriously he has brain problems and his writing and posting clearly reflects that. Jesus.

# ¿ Jan 18, 2023 03:24

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

Escape From Noise posted:

Nathen in a Celobite.

Come, we have such entergagement to show you. Mneow!

Is that an incel cenobite?

# ¿ Feb 23, 2023 02:57

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

https://twitter.com/GarfieldEATSco/status/1233457723582427136?s=20

I cannot believe this is still the pinned tweet

https://twitter.com/GarfieldEATSco/status/1629973247256145923?s=20

https://twitter.com/GarfieldEATSco/status/1628544623223136256?s=20

Nathen keeps acting like he's reopening any time now

Delusional as all gently caress, as usual

# ¿ Mar 5, 2023 05:23

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

reignofevil posted:

That's Huey, Dewey and Louie you philistine!

That post is gibberish and like another poster said that's not even Donald duck

I hate you, Nathen

So much

# ¿ Mar 6, 2023 03:26

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

Scientastic posted:

Don’t those shops basically illustrate the complete lack of necessity for E-Geez?

Yes and it still blows my mind that Nathen thinks there's a market for middlemen like him

# ¿ Mar 8, 2023 19:33

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

Y'all forgetting the landmonster

# ¿ Mar 9, 2023 20:10

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# ¿ May 10, 2024 18:55

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

The fact that he has near zero engagement and still keeps going is just :psypop:

to me

# ¿ Mar 17, 2023 07:08

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > GarfieldEats: I have returned to what I love; cereal boxes and coloring

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